A productive day - yet sad.....

FINALLY!  I can actually say that I've had a productive day!

My house is clean (kind of).  My little Christmas trees are lining my walkway (thank goodness it was a beautiful day - I HATE to do this when it's cold).  My car is filled.  The clutter is gone (kind of).  Laundry still awaits (ick!) though.  I definitely need more 4 day weekends!  I could get soooooo much done!

But the most productive part?  Lunch with Man-Child.  Today we discussed his education (at his instigation; thank you very much).  He informed me of his "plan" for his junior and senior year in high school.

Needless to say, I was very impressed (and extremely thankful that I am not in school anymore!). 

My child has not been a very studious student (to say the least) in recent preceding years.  I've tried everything to get him more interested in studying (begging, pleading, bribing...you name it.) and getting the best grades he could get.  He never took the bait.  Although I know that he is bright and could "get" any subject if he would just apply himself just an inch. (I'm actually convinced he took a dive on the AL test in third grade on purpose....).

But something about this year has completely turned him around.

Example:  he is currently averaging a C+ in Spanish (if you knew his previous grades in this class you would be on your feet cheering!).  But he is agonizing over it.  He is just a few points from a B.  And you would think the fate of the world hinges upon him making that C+ into a B.  EVERY day this weekend he has asked me to log on to the student performance website to see if his teacher has posted their most recent grades.  I've tried telling him that his teachers are on vacation too and not thinking about school....to no avail.

Every conversation about his school revolves around what colleges might be looking for . . . and he's only a sophomore.

He is considering taking LATIN next year!  Why?  Because it will help on his SAT scores and because if he has TWO languages it might be more enticing to certain colleges.  Really??? LATIN?!?!? 

I've mentioned how hard Latin is; he doesn't care.  I've mentioned that taking really hard courses doesn't matter to said colleges if you can't make the grades.  He is confident that he can make the grades.  (And I KNOW he can if he applies himself - but the past few years makes me wonder.  He's never LIKED to apply himself).

WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?  WHERE IS MY SON?

I have told him over and over again about a certain friend of mine's daughter in recent years (in hopes to get him to apply himself).  And how she continually set herself up to fail.  And how she was repeatedly rejected by colleges because she never applied herself in high school - and was finally accepted to a private college (which of course has set her mother up to fail because she can't afford it .... another story entirely).  Maybe this has finally sunk in?  I don't know.  WHATEVER!  I'm happy.  Man-Child is finally looking to the future and making plans.

While this makes me very happy; it also makes me very sad.  My baby is making plans to leave the nest!  I know that this means I have done my job as a mother.  But still...my boy is stretching his wings and learning to fly.  Away from me?  I'm not quite ready for him to go.  Yes, I still have a few years (maybe more if he decides to go to college somewhere close...) but - judging from how fast the last few years have flown....it won't be too many more before he is gone.

And then?? Where will I/we be?  What will we do?

Currently our lives pretty much revolve around Man-Child (how could it not?).  Once he's gone....there will be a HUGE void.  How will we fill it?  The house will be EXTREMELY quiet.  ALL THE TIME!

What started out as such a positive post has depressed the hell out of me.

::sigh::  wandering off in search of a glass of wine and forgetfulness....