I received a text last night from an old high school friend. I had caught up with her a while back and then she disappeared again. It was one of those "girlfriend - forward" kinda things.
I immediately texted her back and told her to call me. This is the text I received in response:
"I am going to call you 5 pm tomorrow i miss you i hate talking tho cuz my life sucks its embarrassing i love you tho"
Needless to say, 5:00 pm (my time and her time) has come and gone. I called - left a message. Still nothing.
This girl and I went through high-school together closer than sisters. I don't get it.
I never really understood how we grew apart in the first place. But I really don't understand why she is now avoiding me. And what she has to be so embarrassed about. We had been through so much. We had talked about everything. We spilled all of our deepest, darkest secrets to each other.
It breaks my heart that she feels too embarrassed to talk to me. We grew up in the same neighborhood - with relatively the same types of backgrounds. I know that things were really rough for her after we drifted apart (I don't know all the details though). But still, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm her friend. I knew her inside and out. And loved her anyway; as she did me.
::sigh:: Maybe I just don't know how to let go. But I also feel that she really needs a friend (she's the one who left this message last time I heard from her). And I want to be there for her. If only she'd let me.