December 3, 2009

Because I just can't keep my mouth shut....

So Modern Mom posted this today.  It's all about how she is such a MEAN MOM.

Really??? 

She won't let her kids watch inappropriate movies at a young age.  She won't let them wear makeup at a very young age.  She won't let them wear inappropriate clothing.  They have regular bedtimes.  They have ::gasp:: CHORES!!!!

This is what it MEANS to be a mom!!!

You have to stand firm.  You have to say NO.  You have to show your children the way.  You cannot let THEM show you the way.  They aren't old enough, or responsible enough, to make these types of decisions.  That is what YOU are there for!

Yes, I agree that children should be given some leeway on some things (pick your battles and all that) BUT - for the big things??


Yeah, maybe I'm old fashioned.  But you can be sure that Man-Child has chores.  You can be sure that Man-Child has been raised with MANNERS.  You can be sure that Man-Child has been brought up with what is appropriate and what is not. 

Sure, he pushes the envelope every once in a while.  He's normal that way.  But guess what??  I PUSH BACK!  Because guess what?  I AM THE MOM!

If you let children get away with so much when they are small - what do you think they are going to do when they get bigger? (A question I desperately want to ask one of my co-workers - whose three year old is completely running their house and lives at the moment....seriously!  The three year old is calling ALL the shots at that house.)

I remember one time when I was getting on to Man-Child for something a year or so ago.  His dad wasn't home and he was feeling "sassy" and "too big for his britches."  I realized that he was MUCH bigger than me and that I couldn't physically MAKE him do whatever it was I was wanting him to do - it kinda worried me for a minute.  But, I realized, that I am the parent and by God, he WOULD do it - even if it took me taking a stick (a shoe, a chair or whatever) after him!!  He eventually did it (without the stick, shoe or chair!); because he knows that I am the one in charge here and that I won't take any guff - whether he's bigger than me or not. 

It breaks my heart to see other parents bow to their children's demands.  Because I know deep in my heart - that while that may be "fixing" the problem for the moment; it is only making things worse for everyone in the future.

And while the way I have raised my child works for us (so far - fingers crossed) I realize it wouldn't work for everyone.  BUT, I truly believe that YOU have to be the parent.  You HAVE to have open communication with your child (just this morning the opportunity presented itself about the ability to talk to your child about drugs and other self-destructive behaviors - and we did - I also took the opportunity to tell him how much I appreciated our relationship - and our ability to talk about anything.  Yes, some things he keeps private - but for the majority, he is pretty open with us (so far)) (I KNOW - too many parentheses!!!!  Sorry!  That's just me! I can't help it.  I even speak in parentheses; just ask Hubby.  He claims that it is too hard to even hold a conversation with me.  Although, personally....I just don't think he's trying hard enough!  Ahem - ANYWAY!!!).

Parenting is NOT easy.  And though it DOES get easier when they get a bit older - it also gets harder.  And you have to be willing to be the hard-ass.  But also to be the one that they can talk to about anything....sex, drugs, peer pressure.  It's a fine line.

God only knows what the future has in store for all of us - but I do know this - I have parented THIS child to the best of my ability.  And he may not turn out perfect (because how many of us are?) and he will make mistakes along the way (haven't we all?)- but I think in the end, he'll turn out okay (despite all my fears and trepidations about what COULD happen).

No, I am NOT proclaiming myself to be THE parenting goddess (although if you want to call me a goddess, I'll take the title) - but I do have very firm ideas about what it means to be a parent - and it takes guts and hard work to be a parent.  And yes, I am a parent - in every sense of the word.

And proud of it.  You can just call me Goddess (I like the sound of that....)

Okay - now that I've got that off my chest I'll crawl back into my little universe now...

9 comments:

  1. Hey there Gigi! i jsut stopped by from "Modern Mom" blog. Amen! I may have to come back and re read this on the days when I wonder if I am the only person left who thinks the mom is the boss! Mine are still small enough that if they do not do as I request I can scoop them up and set them in a time out to think it over but eventually I'm going to be looking up at these young ladies and gentlemen and I expect them to be mannerly and listen to their momma! One can only hope right?

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  2. Okay, this post needs to be somewhere on a billboard. High cyber five to ya and AMEN!

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  3. I wish more Moms were like you Goddess Gigi. Nothing drives me crazier than being out and seeing a young kid getting away with blood murder while the parents just stare at them. Discipline for your children!

    Ok I feel better now. :)

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  4. YAY!! Goddess Gigi, Thats exactly what being a parent is about. It's not about your son/daughters 'best' friend. I think that is the mistake some parents make. They don't want to discipline the kids because it might upset them..WTH! Or my least favourite expression (excuse!!)is 'But they're only little'. Yeah, but then they get bigger & older and still behave the same way! DUH!...Because you've never stopped them. I do believe in that old adage 'spare the rod, spoil the child', although I'm not an advocate of the rod as such, but of boundries & rules, I AM! And then, even when you've done all that, as you say gigi, they still 'try' and push (and believe me TD pushes & pushes, she is currently grounded! Including the whole weekend) those bounderies. But the ground work is there..Hopefully. For a little while (a WHOLE 2 weeks!) I tried a hands off approach, it honestly did'nt work! Either way. TD was confused & I just got frustrated!
    Sorry, this turned into a little post.....

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  5. Oops...that should have read '..it's not about *being* your son/daughters best friend'...there, that makes sense now..

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  6. Theres a saying I heard a long time ago that stuck.
    "If your kid likes you, all of the time, then you are probably doing it wrong" My kids like me, when they arent doing homework, chores, or waiting til the weekend to play their playstations.

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  7. Gigi, there's an award for you over at mine, come get it!

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  8. I left you a reply to your comment on my blog post over at Live.Laugh.Pull Your Hair Out. Thanks for reading!

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  9. Always such good advice.....I have lost my way at the moment. I find it so hard now I'm on my own. My head is spinning. I have two very very stubborn bossy daughters and already they are scaring the hell out of me ( they don't know it though) Even the six year old has started saying No to everything I ask her.
    I need your help! ;0/

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