January 3, 2010

It's definitely time!

Maybe we've just had too much time in each other's company.  Maybe we are totally sick of spending every, single hour of the day together.  Maybe it's time to go back to work/school.

Last night Man-Child said something extremely ugly to me.  (I wrote about it - but deleted it.  I wrote in the heat of the moment....those of you on Twitter - kinda know about it as I vented long and loud)  I know he didn't mean for me to hear it.  But I did

And I reacted; immediately.  Let him know in no uncertain terms how unacceptable it was and that I would not tolerate being spoken to in such a manner; EVER!  By anyone!

Then, immediately went somewhere private (so I thought) and proceeded to cry my eyeballs out.

Why did I cry??

I assume it was a medley of things.  But the main thing was that it just astounded me that he could say something so nasty.  About ME!  His mother!!  The one who gave birth to him.  The one who loved him even when he wouldn't sleep as a baby!  The one who would gladly lay down her life for him!  How dare he?!

Yes, I realize he's a teen.  I remember exactly what it was like to be a teen (despite what he thinks; I really do!).  'Cause seriously? As teens - how many of us said ugly things to/about our parents as teens - in a whisper?  But honestly?  He's lucky he walked away with all his teeth intact - it's a miracle that I didn't completely go crazy on him.

I really didn't want him to see me cry.  Truly. 

But he did.  He found me sobbing uncontrollably.

And, if the truth be told, I think that - more than anything else (including the conversation he had with his father!!) made him realize just how much power he has to wound me with just words. 

Hubby informed me today of the conversation they'd had - and informed me that it would never happen again.

But I know, deep in my heart - after seeing his face when he found me crying - that it will never happen again - even without the "chat." 

Luckily, my boy is one with a conscience.  He has empathy (always has - even as a little guy).  And to find me sobbing (so soon after going off on him) crushed him. 

For that I'm sorry.  Of course, I don't want him crushed.

BUT - if it makes him realize that words can truly wound - so be it.

Life - it's a continual lesson isn't it?  For him - that words can hurt someone - deeply and that he needs to respect others; particularly his mother.  For me - maybe I shouldn't take his disdain so personally - 'cause he is just a teen and he's supposed to rebel?  But really - that will be a hard lesson for me.  Because how can I not take it personally??

Yup, it's time.  We need to go back to our routines.  But.....are you sure I can't call in sick tomorrow...... 

9 comments:

  1. Oh I so want to call in sick tomorrow..after being out on vacation for two weeks ......it's going to be hard...I better get to bed.

    I know all about teens and the ugly things they say that we are not suppose to hear...had 2 teenage girls ...glad you son saw you cry ...I think it was a good leason..

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  2. Oh Gayle...definitely needed your comment! Have responded to several of your comments via email...need to know if you"ve received them?

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  3. Oh, I totally feel your pain, sweetie. Taylor's (17) the same way.
    I can remember thinking "I'd NEVER talk that way to my parents!"

    I don't think there's anything wrong with letting our kids know that we're human...and that their words can sometimes cut like a knife...(I'm known for walking away as if there's a knife sticking out of my back)

    I almost wonder if it's the especially smart, sensitive kids that can hurt us even more by nature of their superior genes...

    Or, maybe it's just us....being moms....(ya think?)

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  4. Not sure if British teens are more or less vocal with their parents but the way my children speak to friends and each other and then follow it up with a very quick "I'm only kidding, can't you take a joke"

    I'm sure your son didn't mean for a peko second what he said but he will now know to choose his comments more carefully as his wounds DO have an effect and that surely will be a good thing.

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  5. Oh, it really is so painful when they hurt us like that. But most of them will do it, at some point. I think it was good for him to have seen you crying. For all the 'good' reasons you listed. I think we feel crying can be seen as manipulative (and of course some people do use it that way, but I hate crying in public exactly for that reason)But it sounds to me like you were crying from shock, so therefore a completely natural reaction. I agree with Gayle above, a good lesson.

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  6. Teenagers can be horrible. I didn't whisper the nasty shit. I shouted it at the top of my lungs.

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  7. Of you will take it personally. How much more personal can you get than being his MOTHER!!! And I wish all teenagers realized how much words can hurt. Some don't give a flying crap who they hurt by what they say. You are so very lucky that your son is learning it early, and I think it was great that he saw he hurt you. Kids NEED to know that they can indeed hurt their parents, and that their parents can be hurt.

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  8. Must be something in the air. You are very lucky that he has realised how much he hurt you. It's so hurtful when our children are horrible to us. XX

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  9. Awww.. sometimes teenagers are such bastards. :( But glad to hear he felt bad and has a conscious!

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