February 16, 2010

Former Friend

Lesson learned.  When you have a post all plotted out in your head.  Post it.  Do not get side-tracked.  Do not read and respond on other blogs.  You know why?

Because you will then completely and totally forget what point it was that you were going to make, oh so eloquently (and no I don't think it's an age thing; it can't be 'cause I'm still very,very, very young!)

Seriously.

Since I can't remember all the details (and yes, I wrote the salient points down - but have apparently left them at work for the cleaning crew to read.....) you, my very favorite peeps, get the condensed version.

Open letter to a co-worker (apparently, former friend).

Don't be shy.  If I/we have ticked you off, tell us.  This way we can know what we've done (although from what we can surmise -after many conversations discussing this very issue - is nothing!) and apologize, as necessary.  Don't just stop talking to and associating with those who have loved and supported you for years.  Not only is it rude - it's childish.

It is also extremely childish to not only stop talking to your friends but to then go to those that you never considered friends (or even seemed to like!) and start chatting them up and laughing gaily while we are sitting there looking on in total incomprehension.  No one cares if you find new friends.  We (the three of us you are currently shunning) are grown up enough to appreciate new friends - we all enjoy new friends! 

I can almost understand if one of us had ticked you off enough to shun (almost, mind.  Life is far too short to hold a grudge in my opinion - wait!  Let me write that down!  With my family?  I'm sure I could have a post in there somewhere....someone remind me of this tomorrow when, once again, I've misplaced my notes) but all of us?  What is this?  High school?

I, of the three of us, am not as sensitive as the others.  Your attitude doesn't bother me as much as it does them (okay, maybe a little).  But when I see and hear the hurt that they are feeling?  Well, it raises up the mama bear in me - and that makes me angry.

I don't understand your attitude.  I don't like it.  You are intentionally hurting people that I care about.  For no good reason that I can see.  Stop it.  Put on your big girl pants and grow up.  If you don't want to be friends anymore, fine.  Be an adult about it.  Although you are not happy with the situation with which you are currently presented - this is not our fault.  And you need to realize that.  The people you are unhappy with isn't us; and there is nothing any of us can do to "fix" your problem.  And?  Guess what?  Your attitude isn't going to fix the problem either.

Love, Me

10 comments:

  1. Ah, the drama of it all. I hope your former friend realizes they need to resolve things a different way. Good luck.

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  2. Hi again, pop by for a visit. I have posted a special award for you. Happy Tuesday.

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  3. Oh dear, I have a very similar issue at my work. I do hope you get it resolved. I find it very irritating too.

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  4. Oh Office politics!! Poor you, makes for a bad atmosphere doesn't it.
    I do the same with posts...I make up 'brilliant' ones in my head whilst driving and then can't remember what the hell I said when I get a chance to get it down. ;0) xx

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  5. You know, I experienced this same type of thing with a friend. She shunned myself and a few other friends and then befriended some people she previously stated she couldn't stand. So I understand your situation and can only tell you - it's obviously for the best! :)

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  6. Thanks you guys. I really try not to let stuff like this bother me so much; but when it's hurting other people....I realize that she is going through a really, really rough patch right now and am trying to be understanding; but, personally? I'd rather have my friends (and, btw, we are all friends outside of work as well) to lean on in a rough patch than pushing them away - but that's me I suppose. Thanks for letting me vent!

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  7. I have always worked in a position where I was primarily with men or by myself, very rarely with women. Now I am working with all women, and I am simply amazed at the immaturity level that some of these (apparently "all together") women have. Makes me embarassed for my own sex.

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  8. I work with all teachers and I can say as far as I know this has never happened!! I hope this all works out!!

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