March 19, 2010

You win some.....you lose some

I logged on this morning (around 4:45 am - thanks Hubby) to discover that I've lost a follower/friend.

This made me very sad.  And I remembered waaaaayyyyy back when - the first (and so far, only) time I un-followed someone.

I was very torn on the decision to un-follow.  It wasn't because she wasn't nice.  It wasn't because she was rude.  It was actually nothing personal at all - I just wasn't interested in what she was saying.  But I was afraid I'd hurt her feelings (because like me - her "numbers" weren't high enough that you might not notice one going missing....and, like me, I was afraid she would take it personally.)

So despite that momentary feeling of why didn't they like me!!!!!!!  I let it go.  After 8 months of doing this (holy cow!  It's been 8 months already?)  I realize that this blog isn't for everyone (heck it really doesn't even have a "theme" or a "purpose" and I'm certainly not into "branding" it and I know I didn't get into this for the "numbers" game).

But when I logged back in later?  The number was mysteriously up again.  So, nosy me went to check it out.  And it was one of my favorite reads.  She'd become a friend!!!  I was delirious (I know that is spelled right-why does it look soooo wrong?).

So without further ado, let's all welcome Texan Mama (she's not actually from Texas - but hey!  She moved there so we will count her as one!  And yeah?  So I moved away?  Guess what - I'm still a Texan and will always be one!  So there!)

Stop in, say hi - tell her I said hi.  She is fabulous, she is friendly and she is real!  You will love her and her family, I just know it.

********
As an update on the last post (since I can't leave you hanging....) - It has yet to be resolved.  Mainly, because once he got over his "hiding out" and asked me what the problem was - he did it with attitude.  And seriously?  Am too tired (hello?  I've been up since 4:00 am stewing over this) to deal with attitude.  I pretty much told him so and have been left alone ever since.  It will be resolved - most likely tomorrow.  It will all be fine in the end - it usually is (yes, we've done this dance before, as have all couples).  But mostly, I wanted to thank you all for your kind & supportive comments - usually I feel very alone and insecure when Hubby and I argue....but you guys - while not making it "easier" per se . . . you've made me feel less alone.  Thank you.

18 comments:

  1. Yep, I felt the same way when I lost one. They were always polite when commenting to my posts and seemed to welcome a challenge, on their own. Never did figure it out. Have to accept that I didn't fit in and needed to stop trying.

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  2. Don't get caught up in the 'followers' numbers. It's just a number. Most of the followers don't actually "follow"/read.

    A gentle and quiet spirit will win over a husband rather than confrontation. Don't "stew"...and don't be 'blue'.

    Be HAPPY!

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  3. For what it's worth, sweetie...your frustration and "issues" w/hubby are universal. I don't know of ANY couples who don't dance the same dance.

    Yes, of course you'll work it out. That's not really the point. Everyone needs some place where they can blow off steam and feel understood...I'm glad you know you can do that here.

    As for followers...they really do come and go....the #s always fluctuating. I'm finding comments are the best part. Don't you think?
    Off to check out your Texan friend!

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  4. Oh Gigi you are so cute. And, I have to love you because I was THIS close to naming our new baby Gigi. Her name is Gretchen (like me) and I thought Gigi would be a cute nickname. But it ended up going another way...

    Okay, boring story. Anywaaayyy....

    I am weird about following. I don't like to follow people I can't commit to reading, so I often add, then subtract, then add more, then subtract more, etc. If a person is in my reader, I read them. So, sometimes I will unfollow for the same reason you did... maybe the content isn't as interesting as I'd hoped or it ends up being a LOT of something that I needed at one time but not so much anymore (like now I wouldn't be interested in a pregnancy blog, for example, since I'm not pregnant anymore).

    Do you do SITS? If not, you should. Visit readers who leave comments around yours in the roll call. This is a great way to get readers to visit you too. You'll see an increase in your followers, really you will.

    Glad I'm on board!

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  5. Yes a couple of weeks ago I lost 2 followers and I was shocked as although I know I dont always have time to read all the blogs I follow all the time, I have never un followed one as I see it more as a nod to say I enjoyed your blog. So I was upset as to why and thought maybe its because I havent been to theirs .. and then stopped worrying .. its not a job its just for you xxx

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  6. I know what you mean abuot the followers, but it really is just a number. About every two weeks, if for some reason I haven't visited a certain blog (because I have many marked in my favorites tab because it's easier to get to them) I go blog hopping. And I have un-followed too- mainly because my taste has changed, or I get a bug to "clean up" my list.

    The hubs thing- well, we all have those issues. I'd have to agree with Blase that gentleness often wins the guys over- but man, can I be a hellcat when I'm pissed off. The main issue to me seems to be that he hurt your feelings, basically stating that your important items are NOT important. It's not the mess (although that would make me insane), it's the negation of your wishes. Maybe you can stress that to him. My husband hurt me so deeply last week, and even after we spoke of it, it took me a few days. So, chin up, your wishes and wants are important, and he has to see that. THAT being said, start moving the crap on the lawn- you'll see him start moving!!

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  7. Awww, I feel your pain about losing a follower. Apparently there are only so many a reader will let you have but still...especially when you know who it was it's hard not to wonder why.
    I hope you and your husband manage to resolve things this weekend.xx

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  8. I dont have a follower thingy on my blob.... but I do follow many meself....

    And I read loads of em until one just catches by the short and curlies then ya can not pop over to see whats going on :)

    Sitting here with me cuppa tea, just gonna have a scroll down and see whats what ;)

    x

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  9. Just to clarify-

    It is most likely that your husband knows when he has done wrong with you. And telling him is always important just to 'clear the air' (waiting for the appropriate timing is crucial, too).

    But, he is more apt to be 'convicted' of it if your meekness is shown rather than you being contentious with him. Trust me...I'm a Man (and one hell-of-a-man at that).


    Reward "evil" with 'good', so to speak.

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  10. Don't forget Blogger can sometimes do funny things. One of my bloggy friends once asked why I no longer followed her and I hadn't deleted myself. You are right though, what we right about is not to everyone's taste, for everyone you lose you will find a new one! Don't take it personally x

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  11. I used to get hung up on the follower thing too! I remember being really flattered when a favourite American lifestyle blogger followed mine. She disappeared after I did a humorous post about toilet habits (can't help it-I'm British!) and I felt a bit gutted. And then you realise, if people don't like what you write, it doesn't matter, so long as you like it! Hope the hubby issue is resolved xx

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  12. Aww Gigi. I hope things work out soon between you and hubby. I know that unsettling feeling that comes from tension in the house. I hate losing followers too. I check the numbers everytime I log in. Have a great Sunday.

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  13. That has happened to me too! I try not to let it bother me but it does a little!!

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  14. Hey there Gigi...
    Finally got to the What's in my bag? post! THanks again...it was fuuuuuuun.

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  15. I STILL hate losing a reader....you can't help but take it personal when your blog IS personal.

    But you're right, we are each looking for something different....we can't be all things to all people, as much as we want to.

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  16. Oh boy, reading this post has made me feel terrible! I accidentally stopped following someone (don't ask me how?!) and it took a few weeks before I realised what I'd done. I've now started following her again and guess I've probably pissed her off...oops!

    Hope things sort themselves out at home...tough times and we're with you x

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  17. Oh how I have agonized over this! Not only losing a follower. Which I hate doing..makes me crazy. What did I do? Did I offend? Am I boring now? But I have been guilty of the occasional unfollow. Don't post for 3 months with no explanation. Sorry have to unfollow. Keep posting pictures of your ummm "girls" Sorry not my thing!
    I am trying to let it go and just be thankful for the true readers I have:)

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  18. I follow people so I don't forget who I like to read, and for the past month, I rarely read any blogs, but I'm sure you know what that is!

    Thank you so much for all your comments and your support. It really does mean so much to me.

    And as for censoring? Yea, I used to do that. I didn't want people that I don't even know to think I was weird, or strange, which is very weird and strange when you think about it!!!

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I generally respond to comments via email...if your blog/id is not tied to your email, I will attempt to respond here...but I would strongly suggest that you make your email available if you want to continue the conversation.

Unfortunately, for some reason people with Yahoo emails are receiving bounce-backs. Your comment will be published but I won't be notified; but I will respond once I realize you've left a comment.