June 10, 2010

The trials and tribulations of shaving while blind....

Yes, it's true.  I'm as blind as the proverbial bat.  So blind that I can't see the alarm clock without my glasses.  So blind, that when my eye doctor asked me if I had a back up pair of glasses, I laughed.  Why?  Because I couldn't comprehend that question.  If I don't have a back up pair to the contacts, I literally can't get out of bed.

I remember getting contacts many, many years ago - although I can't seem to remember anything else lately - clear as day.  (Get it?! Ha.  I slay myself.....)  Talk about freeing.  Yeah, NOW they have stylish glasses - but back when I was a kid?  Not so much.  But the ability to wear sunglasses!  The not having to push the glasses back up the nose - which was a waste of time in the Texas heat because they'd just slide right back down the sweaty nose.  No more taking them off several times a day to polish (do you KNOW how fast those lenses get dirty?)  AND - I now had peripheral vision!  Yes, I knew other people had it, but I had never experienced it.  It was wonderful.

What does any of this have to do with shaving?  Well, let me explain.

You take the contacts off.  You jump in the shower.  You begin to attempt to shave.  You can see your armpits fairly clearly because they are practically right under your nose.  You begin to shave your legs.  Can't see a damn thing.  This means your armpits are nice and clean-shaven, your legs?  Not so much.

So next time around you leave the contacts in.  The view of the legs is nice and clear.  The view of the armpits?  Not so clear.  Ahh, the joys of being near-sighted.

And Hubby wonders why I take so many baths.  Easy.  Glasses on for legs; glasses off for pits.  And there is the added bonus of locking the door, cranking up the iPod which then drowns out any requests being shouted from the other side of the door.

The inspiration for this very random post?  Yup.  Just took a shower without contacts.  Guess that means I won't be wearing a skirt tomorrow.....

10 comments:

  1. Well if it is any consolation I manage to make the shower look like somebody has been slaughtering pigs in it and my glasses are not that strong.

    Having speant a mammouth amount of money redoing two bathrooms we now have a bath as well as a shower and I've found that slightly less blood loss happens there.

    So that makes 10,000 sodding flaming euros that could have been speant on shoes worhtwhile, no ?

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  2. I have to go by touch.. and then sometimes I miss a little strip on the back of my legs xx

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  3. I rarely manage to do them properly myself and my eyes are not that bad. lol

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  4. My legs are still far enough away for me to see, but the belly makes them hard to reach.

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  5. My mother used to wear clip on sunglasses over her glasses! They were so not trendy!!
    I as you are blind and can see nothing faraway when squinting with glasses off. I did have a spare pair but Car broke them!!
    BNMx

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  6. I guess I'm not as nearsighted as you. I wear glasses and like the way the world looks when I'm not using them, soft edges everywhere. But I can't see very far (like to the door while sitting in the living room). I just don't shave my legs any more: once you get to a certain age, they pretty much become hairless. Really.

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  7. Well girlfriend you taught me something today! I will never look at my friends with glasses the same way:)

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  8. Oh, you are too funny! This totally cracked me up! So, we have to choose, eh? Either hairy pits or legs?? This may become a problem with summer practically on top of us...

    Maybe we need to switch to Veet??

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  9. Your eyes sound like mine! Wouldn't recognise the husband across the breakfast table without my lenses...

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  10. Hahha.. I'm near-sighted but I wear contacts in the shower and I can still see the arm pits clear enough to shave. :P

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