June 21, 2017

The Headline read, "...but he SNEEZED repeatedly your Honor..."

That title is definitely going to be on the front page of the local paper if The Husband sneezes ONE more time this evening.  This is what twenty-six and a half years of marriage comes down to...

The Husband has been sneezing.  And it's never just ONE sneeze, oh no, it's usually several in a row.  I can hear you asking, "So?  It's a sneeze, no big deal."

But yes, faithful Reader, it IS a big deal.  Because, apparently, The Husband believes that his brain will blow out of his ears if he tries to tame the sneeze in any way; which means that when he does sneeze the result is so loud and obnoxious that I'm already deciding where to bury the body when I lose it once and for all.

The man is already loud.  He talks loud.  He cooks loud.  He chews loud.  For God's sake, he even SLEEPS loud.  The least he could do is sneeze quieter.  Really?  Is that TOO much to ask?

Yes, I know.  He's a good man and I love him dearly but if I hear one more sneeze tonight that is loud enough to shatter my eardrums I can't be held accountable for my actions.

If you love me even a little, start a legal fund.

2 comments:

  1. Paul is also a loud sneezer. AND: he VOCALIZES the sneezes. Like, he literally says "AH...CHOOOO!!!!" Loudly. Without restraint. Maybe our trials will be held in adjacent rooms and we can wave as we go in each morning!

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  2. My husband too has epic sneezes. He's quite most of the time, but when he sneezes, my eardrums suffer if I am not ready for it. I hear you! :-)

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