June 25, 2013

How to drive yourself OVER THE EDGE in no time at all.

Want to know how to drive yourself completely and utterly insane in less time than it takes to blink?  Well, then you've certainly landed on the right blog post.

First you - oh so carelessly inform your husband that the ONLY thing you want for your birthday next month is to spend a few days at the beach.  He agrees enthusiastically that, yes, you DO need a vacation (as long as he doesn't have to go - because seriously?  Hubby + beach = Never gonna happen. Which then reminds you that when you both decide to - or can - retire you will have to live on total opposite ends of the state) and that, in fact, you DESERVE a vacation.

And you are giddy.  Because now, for the first time in LONG time (in over three-possibly four or five - years to be exact) you and your beloved Man-Child are about to hit the road.  Back long before unemployment came along and walloped us upside the head (and before school trips were scheduled over Spring Break - seriously school?  What ever happened to quality time with the family?), Man-Child and I spent every Spring Break doing something fun - just the two of us.  It was fabulous.  We went to Texas; Pennsylvania; Williamsburg, VA;  Dollywood; Myrtle Beach; Daytona Beach; Hershey Park; Washington, DC (although, to be truthful - that was one of those "school trips" and not nearly as fun as it could have been).  And a few other places that I've momentarily forgotten.

Man-Child and I travel well together; at least we do now that he isn't an infant who had a hate/hate relationship with his car seat. We know how to have fun together.  We laugh, we talk, we are silly - and this makes me happier than anything else on the planet.  It's amazing.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes...giddy.  That - so far - is the best part of it.

Then you inform Man-Child that it is time for a road trip to the beach.  And he is OVER THE MOON!  And proceeds to tell you how much he has missed our little trips together and absolutely CANNOT WAIT for this trip; that it will be the BEST TRIP OF THEM ALL!

And you are pleased.  And THAT becomes the best part of it.

Then you begin your obsessive research.  And realize that OH MY HELL going to the beach in July is BEYOND expensive.  And then you begin to get sick.

So you dial your expectations back a bit and decide that staying in a "dive" isn't beneath you...until you begin to look at the "reviews" that are posted and are accosted with words like "bedbugs" and the words "no refunds, cancellations, etc. for ANY reason - even a death in the immediate family" (ok, that last part is just "implied;" but still....) then you determine that maybe, just maybe, the two of you sleeping in the compact car is actually doable and, possibly start to think that this trip is doomed from the get go...

And then Man-Child asks you if you've found a hotel yet; and you remember how excited he is about it - and then your resign yourself to spending more money than you'd like - in a place, that according to the internet is uninhabitable - go back to searching.

June 20, 2013

It's an "OMIGOSH, I'm SO excited!" and it's a "What the HELL were you thinking, CBS?" moment all at the same time

On Monday, June 24th, the premier of Under the Dome is due to air on CBS.

And I am over the moon, excited about it.  As you may remember, I actually reviewed this book way back when - and after re-reading the review, I realize although I told you to go buy the book and read it, I wasn't very specific.  Even so, I stand by that review - it was an excellent book (although the ending, if I recall correctly, left me unsatisfied).

In preparation for the premier, I have begun re-reading the book.  In hindsight, I should have started earlier.  It's a REALLY big book.  But I think by the time Monday rolls around I will have at least got my bearings on all the characters.

In my mind, Stephen King really shines in his larger novels - but me, being me, I practically need to take notes just to keep up with all the characters.

Now here is the "what the hell?" part.  Can someone please explain to me WHY this premiere is starting at 10:00 pm on a MONDAY night?  Yes, I realize it's Stephen King, but still.  Don't the executives over at CBS realize that most people have to get up really, really early on "school" days?  I'm guessing they don't.

So here are my options:

1) Somehow, figure out a way to record the show AND manage to avoid those people "who have the uncanny ability to stay up until the wee hours of the night and still get to work the next day AND be productive" who have already watched the show

2) Stay up late to watch the show and come to work the next with the knowledge that I will be extremely cranky and unproductive

3) Take a random Tuesday off and call it done.

I'm leaning toward option three - unless the "suits" over at CBS read this, takes pity on a fan and re-schedules the premier to a Saturday in place of my 48 Hours (that I cannot get enough of, by the way).  Which I would be TOTALLY fine with - really.

June 18, 2013

A weekend update that includes a sad, little tree, Father's Day and The Purge (random? Of course)

Sadly, I never got the much coveted pedicure that I was hoping for; maybe this weekend.  Or, I'll just cave and do it myself sometime this week.

My poor, little tree.  We tried to save it.  We really did.  My husband, once again, stepped up to the plate and showed me just how much he loves me.  Despite the fact that he knew the tree was too severely damaged to be saved, he spent over an hour - AFTER coming home from a hard day's work AND an hour long workout - to bolt that little tree back into shape.

Notice the three, strategically placed, bolts and the zip ties?

Seeing as our initial attempt seemed to be working, the following morning found him out at Home Depot buying some pruning goop to put on the tree's wounds in the vain attempt to stave off insects and disease - only to find us coming home to the tree flopped back over. *sigh*

At least we tried.

This weekend will, hopefully, find him digging up the pitiful, little stump left behind and me moving on.

After the tree was officially declared deceased; the weekend progressed with as much reading and laziness as I could muster.

On Sunday, Father's Day, my husband's only wish was to find an oyster bar.  Funny, how he didn't tell me this until Saturday night AND proceeded to inform me that it was MY job to find the place, make reservations, if necessary, etc.  Hmmm, funny how it was also MY job to do the same for Mother's Day.....

I finally found a place that didn't look like it had salmonella on the menu - oh, about 30 minutes from our house (all the closer ones were closed on Sunday - seriously?).  Have I ever mentioned that this man hates to drive ANYWHERE further than 10 minutes out?

Surprisingly, he agreed.  And seemed excited.  Apparently, he doesn't get to indulge in his raw oyster fetish as much as he'd like.

As you might remember, he is a bit of food snob - so I was concerned.  But he LOVED it (and obviously has suffered no ill-effects).  Not once did I hear a complaint about the food, the service, the drive, or anything...until we got home and he actually looked at the bill.  THEN there were comments - because, apparently, we were overcharged and I wasn't given the proper entree (which I knew, but didn't comment on).  So I reiterated how much he'd enjoyed it so it was worth it.  He agreed, mentioned that we should go there again and let it go (which shocked me to no end).

A few hours after arriving home, Man-Child began to get antsy and wanted to go to the movies.  Of course, the husband wanted nothing to do with this wild venture as we ALL know he doesn't care to go to the theater unless under duress; especially after already having driven SO far for lunch.  So MC and I headed out and went to see The Purge.

It was a good movie, although a bit violent.  Okay, a LOT violent.  But the premise was a good one so we both enjoyed it.  Although, there was a trailer  for The Conjuring that had both of us looking at each other and wondering if we should just leave before the movie even started; particularly since we were the only people in the theater at that point.

Although, I think, I could watch that movie, on DVD, on a very small screen television, in broad daylight, with a bunch of people around me and not pee my pants.  Otherwise, no.  I don't think I could handle that one.

So, despite my little tree biting the dust once and for all, it was a pretty good weekend.  How was yours?

June 13, 2013

The tree that could have been....

Today we had some freakish thunderstorms roll in out of nowhere.  In fact, in the space of an hour I received no less than three severe weather alerts on my phone.

We watched the storm move in from the windows of the office - and all hoped they'd roll right on out before we had to try and make our way home, because they were pretty fierce.

By the time 5:00 pm finally rolled around - the majority of the storms had left the area and so I headed home - ready for a long weekend.  It's only long because on Monday I decided that I couldn't face an entire week at the office and took tomorrow off.  I had planned on doing a little cleaning and a little self-indulgence in the form of a long, over-due pedicure maybe.

Until I got home and was faced with this...

And I almost cried.  Seriously.

I was so proud of that little tree.  I recall working so very hard - all by myself, I might add - to plant that tree.  The boys were gone and I was bound  and determined to get that little maple (?) into the ground.  As I recall the hardest part wasn't digging through the rock hard clay to plant it.  No, the hardest part was trying to remove the tree from its little pot.

I remember sitting on the ground, with sweat pouring down my face, while I braced my feet against the pot and trying to pull that root-bound tree free.  I remember thinking " Boy, the neighbors must be getting quite the show this afternoon" while watching me through windows as I battled with that tree.

Eventually, of course, I freed the tree and got it planted.  And it thrived.  In the three or four years since I waged the epic battle to set that tree free it has thrived and grown.  It has survived the winters and withstood the heat and storms that have battered it.  Until today.

Before the possibility of selling this house ever arose, I had been imagining that tree ten or fifteen years from now.  I had been dreaming of the magnificent tree that it would one day become.  Even after we agreed that we might sell, I could still see myself driving by and seeing "my" tree so big and strong and me smiling at its growth.

Today, my little tree has died.

I will, of course, try to save it.  I've already Googled "how to save a split tree" and see that it can be done - but I have a feeling that the damage is too severe.  But despite that, and Hubby's skepticism, I have  to try.

Poor little tree.

June 10, 2013

Apparently, I NEVER learn from past experiences.

Remember way back last fall when our entire family locked ourselves out of the house; after already experiencing repeated instances of locking some of us out? (What IS it about this house?  We've never locked ourselves out of any of our other houses this much - I swear.)

After that experience, I SWORE that I was going to have an extra key (or three) made to hide somewhere.

Well guess what?

I never did.  And guess what else?

I locked myself out of the house again this morning.  What a way to start a hot, wet, dreary Monday.

Luckily though, this time Man-Child was inside the house.  Sleeping.  Do you know how hard it is to wake a sleeping teenager if you aren't standing over him, dragging him out of bed by the ankle while dousing him with a pitcher of ice cold water?

The answer is VERY.

After simultaneously ringing the doorbell repeatedly while calling his phone (I can only assume that the only thing that woke him up was the phone, which was set to vibrate, buzzed it's way across his nightstand and landed on his head) he finally answered and came to let me back in the house.  He was not happy.

So tomorrow, after work - come hell or high water - I think it's safe to say that you will find me at the local hardware store....having some keys made - FINALLY.

June 5, 2013

I've created a monster (or...sometimes if you get off your high horse, you might actually like it)

First a little background...of course.

I am not a foodie.  Oh sure, I do enjoy food, but nine times out of ten I will shove whatever into my mouth just to keep my stomach quiet and my body alive, because odds are good I've busied myself with other "more important" things for so long that if I don't eat something NOW, I will surely die. (Yes, I have issues.  I know.  And one of these days, maybe - I doubt it - I'll get my priorities in order)

Unfortunately, I married a foodie - or as I like to "affectionately" call him - a food snob.  This man will walk into a fast food joint and then have the nerve to complain about the food that is put before him.  I can only look at him in amazement at that point.  Because a) you are in a fast food joint and b) seriously?! You are IN  A FAST FOOD JOINT!

So the food snob has gone done his best to raise a food snob, jr.  *sigh*  Of course, I am outnumbered in this household.

Suffice it to say, most of my dining out experiences involve friends instead of immediate family; because dear God in heaven if I have to sit through ONE MORE MEAL where he complains about the food, the location, the service or the fact that he could make it better, or that it's too bland or too salty or too whatever....well, then I can't be held responsible for any actions I might take.

Which brings me to a local restaurant, which I might point out is NOT a fast food joint, but does have extra fast service.  I immediately fell in love with their fajita pita lunch.  Who would have thought - combining a Mexican food staple with Mediterranean food?!  It's absolutely amazing and unfortunately, I don't get to eat there as often as I'd like.

Try as I might, I have been unable to convince my two food snobs to at least try this delicacy.  Until last week.

Man-Child was starving (yeah, right - the boy is ALWAYS starving) and he was weak enough that I was able to drag him into the nearest location.

And now?  Now he's hooked.  He just asked me to take him to lunch (for the third time in the span of a week!) tomorrow.

At this point, I'm convinced.  It may not be too late to break the Hubby of his snobbery, but the boy? Oh yeah, he's breakable.