Zero to Sixty in .9 Seconds

Seriously, that is how fast everything in the past couple of weeks has happened.

When we last left off in this saga, The Husband - while not well - was fine.  Completely fine.

Until he wasn't.  When I woke up on Tuesday (7/14), he informed he hadn't slept all night, had a fever and chills and said he didn't feel like he was breathing right.  He then took some ibuprofen, sat in the chair and slept for about four hours or so.  When he woke up, he was fine.  So fine that he took himself off to visit Starbucks and the grocery store.  Then he came home and made lunch.  It was all completely fine and normal.

A few hours after lunch, he began to feel feverish again - along with chills so bad he turned the heater on IN JULY IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEATWAVE.  Finally, he called our friend two doors down (remember, she is a nurse).  She, of course, was in the middle of her workday, so she told him to call his doctor's office to see if they could/would squeeze us in.  Of course, they couldn't as it was about 3:30 or 4:00 pm by now.  So we talked to the nurse at the office, she had us take his blood pressure which was DANGEROUSLY high and told us to go to the ER immediately.

We must have hit that ER at just the right time because no sooner than we walked in, the triage nurses came to take his temperature (104) and blood pressure (I didn't know this at the time, but was told later it had plummeted) and see what brought us in.

Immediately, after that they came for a chest x-ray - despite the fact he had one in his chart from the previous week.  I think they were looking to see if it was heart failure.

And then we were whisked off to an ER room, as they were checking him over and the doctor was telling me that they would most likely admit him - I don't know what happened  - I don't know if it was a panic attack coupled with the severe chills or if it was a seizure.  All I do know is it was absolutely terrifying.  They called for a crash cart and sent me away. 

As you can imagine I was shocked and scared.  My friend two doors down knew what was going on and sent her husband (since she was still working) to sit with me while I waited to see my husband.  I was so grateful he was there since I was absolutely losing my mind.  He is absolutely the best person to sit with you when you are losing your mind - so calm and reassuring.

When we finally got in to see him after he was stablized; they had to entubate him, which honestly, I was not expecting.  Seeing my husband out cold, totally sedated and with a tube down his throat was terrifying.  The ER doctor explained what she thought was going on (pneumonia) and that he would be admitted to ICU.  Standard procedure for an entubated patient.

We got him up to his room and got him settled.

And then began the longest days of my life.  By Saturday (18th), we were seeing very teeny, tiny improvements; but still entubated.  By now, we also knew that it was NOT pneumonia and had learned that my usually healthy husband's lungs were badly damaged (we assume from the nasty natural gas plant he had worked at for years when we lived in the Houston area).   And that there were some other - less terrifying underlying issues.

And we waited.  Until finally, I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday this week - we had to have some very serious discussions about how we go forward.  By now, both kids had made it so I didn't have to make any decisions on my own, THANK GOD.

The ICU doctor felt certain that if they put a trach (still on the ventilator for now) we could move him to a long term care facility for rehab and weaning him off the ventilator.  He warned it will be long road to recovery but felt that maybe, eventually, they will be able to even remove the trach. 

So we had the trach put it on Friday and the plan was to start to bring him out of sedation.  But then, of course, there was a hiccup in the middle of the night and they had to replace it with a larger tube. So, as of yesterday he was still under pretty heavy sedation.

When I arrived this morning, they had cut back his sedation quite a bit and he was awake and alert, so I could talk to him and he could see me.  Of course, he can't talk and I am sure he is very confused and anxious because he doesn't know what is going on.  I'm sure the last thing he remembers was checking into the ER.

So now, we are in the wait and see mode as we wait for the transfer.  I will say that the nurses and doctors and the care they provided at this hospital were top-notch.  I can only hope we can say the same for the long term care facility.

And once he gets there, he is going to have to work really hard so he can come with me. 

As the title implies, once this ball started rolling it snowballed so very quickly.  In fact, I'm still shocked at how quickly it all unraveled.

Send your prayers, thoughts and good wishes, please.  We certainly need them right now. 

Ugh...Life These Days In The Gigi Household

 Friends, things here have been HEAVY.  Hence, my recent lack of posts.  I don't want to drag you down with me.

We are quickly approaching the two year mark of my unemployment.  As you can imagine, this is a very heavy weight, particularly as I was the primary bread winner for the last few years.

But, I am beginning to think it is probably a good thing that I haven't found anything just yet.  As most of you know, my husband is significantly older than me (12 years) and is beginning to have a few health issues (nothing too serious that we know about yet anyway). And it has become quite apparent to me that he needs me to advocate for him.

He has high blood pressure (genetics and anxiety are the root cause) and has been on Amlodipene for years.  Well, it caused his legs to swell a ridiculous amount and it was getting worse.  I've told him to talk to his doctor about it.  And every time he did, the doctor just said that was a side effect.  So when he went to see his doctor this last time, I went with him.  I looked that doctor in the eye, while pointing to my husband's legs and said, "This needs to be resolved now.  Not only can he barely get his shoes on, he is uncomfortable and has a hard time walking." (there are other issues from the swelling that I won't get into here).  Needless to say, we came away from that appointment with a couple of referrals - including one for a sleep study because he's not sleeping well, which I am attributing to possible fluid around his lungs (if he's got that much fluid in his legs, you can just assume it's everywhere at this point) and apnea - and he is now officially off Amlodipene and on something else.  To be honest, this should have NEVER gone on this long.  And the fact that he never pushed back with the doctor in the first place irritates me.

The doctor we saw yesterday, put him on a strong diuretic and the swelling is slowly coming down.  And the doctor we saw today told me that it will take some time since he was on the medication for so long.

I have been discussing these issues with my friend two doors down (she's a nurse) throughout all of this and she looked at me ad said, "You know you are going to have to go with him to every doctor's appointment from here on out."  And I agreed.  Because it has become increasingly apparent that not only will he not advocate for himself, he won't ask questions.

How do I know this?  Because back in December he had to have a bit of skin cancer removed from his leg.  He was told to put this cream on it and keep it covered because they didn't want it to scab over.  Did this man ask how long he should keep it covered?  No, friends, he did not.  And then unilaterally decided after two weeks that it didn't need to be covered any more.  When he went back for the follow up visit in January he was told it should have been covered this whole time and to keep it covered.  Again, did he ask how long he should keep it covered?  No, he did not.  And that's when I put it together and realized that I need to be in the exam rooms with him to advocate, listen to what he might miss and ask questions.

 So that is where we are at this point in time.  I still don't have a job, and apparently don't need one as I am now his full time healthcare advocate - which for the next month or so looks like a full time job in and of itself.

Me, my friend, and the doctors are all of the mind that if we can get the swelling down a lot of the other issues will take care of themselves.

So all that to say, advocate for yourselves and pay attention to what your spouse is doing regarding their health; because they may very well need you to advocate for them.  And, if you are on Amlodipene, keep an eye on your ankles and if you notice ANY swelling get to the doctor immediately to discuss alternatives. 

Book Review: One Second After by William R. Forstchen

 Hi Friends!  I know, it's been a while.  But honestly, without having very many interactions with people other than my husband, there's not too much to talk about.  BUT, I am here today with another book review, One Second After by William R. Forstchen.

 I can't remember where I heard about this book - but I have a vague notion that Stephen King may have mentioned it on Threads.  And if Stephen King recommends a book, I am ON IT.

If you like a dystopian novel (Nicole, it's okay, I know you've already NOPED on out), this one may be for you.  It's a story of man trying to save his family and his small North Carolina town after America loses a war (a war they didn't even know about) in ONE SECOND.  An unknown enemy set off three weapons above America's atmosphere which set out Electro Magnetic Pulses (EMPs) across the country.  Wiping out any and all modern conveniences - basically setting the country back hundreds of years.  Think about it.  Our cars have tiny computers - so they just stopped in their tracks, as did the trains.  There was no electricity.  No indoor plumbing.  No internet.  No communication with the outside world.  Everything just STOPPED.

As you can imagine, there was panic.  It would take the town's leaders to calm the people, figure out how to ration the remaining food and medicine to feed and care the townspeople.  To figure out how to navigate everyday life.  And hope, that there were some people out there who knew how to wrangle old technology.  To figure out justice and to protect themselves from marauders who were roaming the country trying to take what little people had.

It was an intense read; particularly when you begin to realize this could actually happen today.  These are weapons that could potentially be deployed right now.  *shudder*  And makes you REALLY hope that those in charge (yeah, right with this administration? Not likely) are making up plans in the event this happens because in the book these people were caught completely off guard

It was only after I read this book, that I found out it is actually a trilogy.  I have already placed a hold on the second book - which, of course, came in AFTER I had already left the library this afternoon.  I think I'll go ahead and place a hold for the third book and will collect both when that one comes in.  

At any rate, if dystopian fiction is your jam, you may really enjoy this book.  If you can overlook the possibility of it being reality, that is. 

(Audio) Book Review: Educated by Tara Westover

 When I opted to borrow this audio book, I was not aware that it was a memoir.  Not that I have anything against memoirs; but they are not what I usually gravitate toward when looking for something to read (or listen to).

Tara was born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho.  Well, she says survivalists, I say cult, but whatever.  There was no formal education, they were fairly isolated from mainstream society.  There were no doctor's visits, no dental visits.  Instead the family relied on the mother's (a herbalist) remedies - even for the most horrific injuries.  There was unspeakable violence in the family usually caused by one brother - and though it wasn't voiced, it made me think other horrific things may have also happened (this is pure speculation on my part though but based on one conversation with her sister I did have to wonder).

It was only after one other brother got himself into college, did Tara begin to wonder if there might be another life out in the world for her.  This brother encouraged her and at the age of 17, Tara found herself in a classroom for the first time.  And the world unfolded in front of her.  She was able to travel the globe and meet a multitude of people and her eyes were opened to how her life might be now that she was free.

I found this to be a haunting book - one that I am still thinking about days and days later.  Definitely would recommend.  

So what about you?  Do you gravitate toward memoirs or no?  Nicole, I already know your answer! ;-)

Cleaning the Oven

 I haven't posted since JANUARY?!  Well, what can I say - without any office nonsense added to the fact I rarely leave the house these days there isn't very much to talk about.  Well, at least not anything anyone would want to hear about.

At any rate, I came here to announce that my oven is clean!

It seems like such an insignificant announcement.  But it's really not because we have never, ever in the entirety of our marriage used the self-cleaning feature on any of our ovens.  Why?  Because The Husband, also known as The Resident Nervous Nellie, once read a post about someone who used it and it ruined her oven.

So, because of this I'd put off cleaning the oven (counter-intuitive, I know) until it was so gross that I couldn't stand it.  And I'd spend hours on my knees with my head in the oven scouring.  And even at that, it never got completely clean.

When I made some muffins the other day, I noticed that the oven had once again reached an unacceptable level of grime.  And tried to drum up the fortitude and determination to get it cleaned.

And the mere thought of it exhausted me.  So, I made an executive decision and announced that I was going to use the self-cleaning feature.  The Husband was aghast.  So, I asked him if he had it in him to clean it.  The answer, of course, was no.  He once again brought up the poor woman whose oven was ruined.  And I pointed out that these features have to be safe or they wouldn't be allowed to be features and that most likely, that woman's oven was either a lemon or she did something she shouldn't have.

So I started the self-cleaning feature - I knew that the oven would get extremely hot and that there would most likely be fumes from all the gunk getting burnt off (there was) but what I did not expect was that it would take 4 hours!  Had I known that, I would have timed it better (say, after lunch.  Needless to say, our lunch that day was delayed by about two hours).

Considering how grimy that oven was, I wasn't expecting much when I opened the oven to wipe everything up after it had cooled down.  However, while it's not completely perfect the oven is almost pristine.  So much so, that every time I walk in the kitchen I take a little peek just to admire the cleanliness.  It's the little things in life, y'all.  You can bet that I will never find myself on my knees scrubbing that oven again.

Now, if I could just figure out a way to clean between the glass on the door without having to take the whole door apart.  

Book Review: The Mad Wife by Meagan Church

They called it hysteria. She called it survival.

This book is centered on Lulu Mayfield, a woman trying to mold herself into the perfect 1950s housewife.

Based on that sentence alone, we kind of know where this story is headed.  What woman can be "the" perfect housewife?

When a new neighbor, Bitsy, moves in Lulu suspects something darker lurks behind the woman's constant smile.  And perhaps it does, but maybe that's not her fault, could her husband have had something to do with the distant smile?

As the story progresses Lulu's so-called perfect facade starts to crack.  And others, including her husband are beginning to notice.  And Lulu begins to worry what her husband might do to her to "fix" her.

Hysteria was actually a common medical diagnosis for women in the 1950s and the treatments could be as simple as drugging the woman or they could involve more invasive and inhuman treatments.  A real concern for some women at the time.

This book, billed as a domestic drama, was so heart wrenching and the writing so evocative.  And I think it will resonate with a good majority of women (particularly) mothers, as we have all experienced the "expectations" of us - whether or not we give a damn about the expectations - we know they are there.  And those "expectations" back in the 1950s were far higher than they are today.

Occasionally, I am a Ditz

 Y'all...I am a logical person, a rational person, a generally sane person (oh hush, I have my moments) and a fairly intelligent person.

And then there are moments, like last week, when I am reminded that occasionally I am a ditzy person.

As most of you know, I like to do jigsaw puzzles. I generally have one going most of the time.  I buy my puzzles based on the picture - not necessarily by the brand which, as you may remember, has caused a problem on at least one occasion.  Thank goodness, that issue has reoccurred...yet.

At any rate, one day last week as I was sifting through the pieces of my puzzle my eye was caught by the letters on the back of the pieces.  This is nothing new as I've noticed letters on the back of other puzzle pieces before - but never thought much about it.  Maybe I thought they just spelled the brand of the puzzle or maybe the name of the puzzle.  I don't know.

But on that day, something "clicked" and I looked more closely at those letters.

It was only then that it dawned on me.  Those letters signfy the sections of the puzzle.  A is the top left section and so on.  Which turns out to be REALLY helpful when there are repeating themes/colors in the entire puzzle.

Why am I admitting this ditziness publicly on the internet...where it will be a testament to my sheer inability to notice what is right in front of me FOREVER?

Because, I can't be the only one.  Right?!

Tuesday is Coming

 Y'all.  I just looked at the calendar and panicked.  Not over gifts (well, except for the two that still haven't arrived) or the stocking stuffers.  That, shockingly enough is well in hand this year.  Although, as a side rant, Etsy Seller - do NOT create a shipping label on the 16th and not ship the damn package!  As of today, the item still has NOT shipped.  At this point, I'm not expecting this item to show up on time.

No, I am in a panic over the baking and candy making.  I just pulled all the frozen cookie dough out to thaw and figure I will be non-stop baking and candy making between now and Tuesday.  In addition, to cleaning like a crazy woman before Tuesday.

Why am I in a panic over getting all this done prior to Tuesday, you ask?

We can blame The Husband.  He decided, on a whim, that we should have a few of the neighbors over for drinks and appetizers on Tuesday and just informed me of this yesterday after already mentioning it to said neighbors first - but apparently, it didn't sink in for me that we were staring down the end of the week until today.

So, in addition to all the baking, candy making, cleaning, and deciding on Christmas Eve dinner dessert, I now probably need to come up with an appetizer all by Tuesday.

Which is (counts on fingers) five days from now.

I could be mad at him but really, it's my own fault.  I've been living in my head for the past few months and hadn't realized that Christmas - and all the attendant "events" - was right around the corner.

And here we are.  *sigh*

What's causing you angst or panic right about now?

A Reminder to be Grateful...Every Day

 Before I begin this particular tale - one that started off with my heart in my throat - you should know that The Husband works part-time for a local bank.  And in the course of his duties, he drives the bank's van; which is wrapped with the bank's name and logo and logo colors prominently displayed.  The van is a bright and eye-catchingly blue.

Today is one of the days that he was working this week.  He usually gets there around 8 am and is on the road around 9 am.

I determined that I needed to go the the library today since we are hosting the kids tomorrow in lieu of Thanksgiving; as they are spending that day with her parents.

Right before I left the house, I received two separate calls from The Husband that I, assumed, were pocket dials as he never responded when I said hello.  As I headed out of the house I noticed the time was right about 9 am and I wondered briefly if I would spot The Husband out in the wild.  It's always funny to me, when I see him out and about in the bank van, because he is so very visible in that bright blue van and I am invisible in my gray RAV4.  So basically, I can see him but he has no idea I'm two cars behind him.

As I neared the on-ramp to the highway, I noticed a plethora of fire engines and cop cars ahead.  Oh great, an accident.  I made the snap decision to get into the next lane to go a little further up to make a u-turn since the on-ramp on this side of the road was blocked.

As I made the u-turn and came back toward the intersection, I glanced over and saw the bank van on the side of the road.  From where I was, I couldn't safely get over to the left lanes to turn into the service station to see what was going on.  I had to turn onto the on-ramp.  Once I was safely on the highway, I immediately called him to see what was going on.  As you might imagine, my heart was racing and my imagination was in overdrive.  An accident?  The van hadn't looked damaged from my vantage point.  A medical emergency?   

He picked up immediately, to my great relief.  There had been an accident and, by some miracle, both he and the woman who pulled out in front of him were safe.  I immediately navigated to the next off-ramp to turn around.

When I got to the aforementioned service station, I could clearly see that the van was severely damaged and the other car (which I hadn't been able to see for all the traffic earlier).  It was a pretty nasty accident and both The Husband and the woman were very rattled.  The woman apologized to me, when she heard me say to The Husband that it was terrifying to be driving by and see my husband on the side of the road surrounded by emergency vehicles.  She clearly knew she had caused this accident, but I was not in the frame of mind to place blame.  I was just extremely grateful that everyone was okay.

And after The Husband later described to me exactly what had happened - how these two vehicles during rush hour traffic were the only two vehicles affected was miraculous.  Somehow, after his van hit her SUV, her vehicle was pushed across three lanes of traffic and landed in the median - yet, didn't hit another vehicle.  How when he swerved to avoid t-boning her car (which may well have ended up with her severely injured or worse), he didn't hit any other cars.  The only explanation was a miracle.

We were recently discussing all the bad things going on right now and The Husband was wondering what the lesson in all this bad luck must be.  And just the evening, I revisited the topic and told him that the lesson was to be grateful - because no matter how shitty things might be right now for us, there is still a lot to be grateful for - and that is the Thanksgiving lesson we are going with today.

Book Review: The Heiress by Rachel Hawkins

 Ok y'all, I may have found another author to love.

This book was an excellent mystery/thriller/suspense (pick your adjective).  I loved reading this novel.  So much so, that as soon as I finished it, I headed to the library this morning to pick up whatever other titles they had (I'm currently a little more than halfway through Reckless Girls and can already also readily recommed that book as well).

From Goodreads, the premise of the book:

When Ruby McTavish Callahan Woodward Miller Kenmore dies, she’s not only North Carolina’s richest woman, she’s also its most notorious. The victim of a famous kidnapping as a child and a widow four times over, Ruby ruled the tiny town of Tavistock from Ashby House, her family’s estate high in the Blue Ridge mountains. In the aftermath of her death, that estate—along with a nine-figure fortune and the complicated legacy of being a McTavish—pass to her adopted son, Camden.

But to everyone’s surprise, Cam wants little to do with the house or the money—and even less to do with the surviving McTavishes. Instead, he rejects his inheritance, settling into a normal life as an English teacher in Colorado and marrying Jules, a woman just as eager to escape her own messy past.

Ten years later, Camden is a McTavish in name only, but a summons in the wake of his uncle’s death brings him and Jules back into the family fold at Ashby House. Its views are just as stunning as ever, its rooms just as elegant, but coming home reminds Cam why he was so quick to leave in the first place.

Jules, however, has other ideas, and the more she learns about Cam’s estranged family—and the twisted secrets they keep—the more determined she is for her husband to claim everything Ruby once intended for him to have.

But Ruby’s plans were always more complicated than they appeared. As Ashby House tightens its grip on Jules and Camden, questions about the infamous heiress come to light. Was there any truth to the persistent rumors following her disappearance as a girl? What really happened to those four husbands, who all died under mysterious circumstances? And why did she adopt Cam in the first place? Soon, Jules and Cam realize that an inheritance can entail far more than what’s written in a will—and that the bonds of family stretch far beyond the grave.

Y'all, this book kept me engaged and turning those pages as fast as I could.  And a few revelations that make you go, "OH!"  I highly recommend this book (as well as the one that I'm not even finished with yet!)