October 20, 2018

Difficult conversations...

About a month (?!really?!) ago we were at my mother in law's for her birthday.  Where The Husband had to reiterate what his brother and sister had already told her - she has mold.

We took the bull by the horns and found a company that can remediate the issue but now Mom keeps saying that the house is too much for her to handle...which I totally understand although if she were willing to spend the money to have people in to keep up with things, it wouldn't be an issue - but I also understand that issue - because $$$.  But at the same time, I worry that moving her - whether to Connecticut, Florida or North Carolina (where all the siblings live) - will change her quality of life.

Currently, she is a very active 87 year old.  Regularly, she bowls with gusto, she has a "lunch club", there is the monthly trips to the casino, etc.  While we were there she mentioned, that if she were to move, she would give up driving.  Mom has never been a big driver, as she didn't learn until she was in her forties.  To move her now, would put the nail in that coffin...that coupled with losing the close group of friends she has makes me worry.

I would LOVE to have Mom come here and we have the room for her...but I don't think she would thrive...here, Connecticut or Florida.  I've checked, there isn't any place where she currently lives that would satisfy all of our requirements for her or us.

Ultimately, she will make a decision and we will have to live with it...and I'm not happy with that.


  1. This is a hard one, Gigi. I know you will figure it out, you always do, but it's one of those difficult times in life when the right choices are not obvious. Sending you lots of love.

  2. This is a tough one. It almost seems like there is no good answer. I have found though, that when you move an older person from their current home, there is an almost immediate decline in memory and overall general contentment. I pray that you guys find the best thing for her.

  3. She needs those friends and social commitments! If she is safe still living in her house, I'd say pony up the bucks to keep it in good working order (still cheaper than assisted living). She probably will need to move in a couple of years, but not yet.