Friends, things here have been HEAVY. Hence, my recent lack of posts. I don't want to drag you down with me.
We are quickly approaching the two year mark of my unemployment. As you can imagine, this is a very heavy weight, particularly as I was the primary bread winner for the last few years.
But, I am beginning to think it is probably a good thing that I haven't found anything just yet. As most of you know, my husband is significantly older than me (12 years) and is beginning to have a few health issues (nothing too serious that we know about yet anyway). And it has become quite apparent to me that he needs me to advocate for him.
He has high blood pressure (genetics and anxiety are the root cause) and has been on Amlodipene for years. Well, it caused his legs to swell a ridiculous amount and it was getting worse. I've told him to talk to his doctor about it. And every time he did, the doctor just said that was a side effect. So when he went to see his doctor this last time, I went with him. I looked that doctor in the eye, while pointing to my husband's legs and said, "This needs to be resolved now. Not only can he barely get his shoes on, he is uncomfortable and has a hard time walking." (there are other issues from the swelling that I won't get into here). Needless to say, we came away from that appointment with a couple of referrals - including one for a sleep study because he's not sleeping well, which I am attributing to possible fluid around his lungs (if he's got that much fluid in his legs, you can just assume it's everywhere at this point) and apnea - and he is now officially off Amlodipene and on something else. To be honest, this should have NEVER gone on this long. And the fact that he never pushed back with the doctor in the first place irritates me.
The doctor we saw yesterday, put him on a strong diuretic and the swelling is slowly coming down. And the doctor we saw today told me that it will take some time since he was on the medication for so long.
I have been discussing these issues with my friend two doors down (she's a nurse) throughout all of this and she looked at me ad said, "You know you are going to have to go with him to every doctor's appointment from here on out." And I agreed. Because it has become increasingly apparent that not only will he not advocate for himself, he won't ask questions.
How do I know this? Because back in December he had to have a bit of skin cancer removed from his leg. He was told to put this cream on it and keep it covered because they didn't want it to scab over. Did this man ask how long he should keep it covered? No, friends, he did not. And then unilaterally decided after two weeks that it didn't need to be covered any more. When he went back for the follow up visit in January he was told it should have been covered this whole time and to keep it covered. Again, did he ask how long he should keep it covered? No, he did not. And that's when I put it together and realized that I need to be in the exam rooms with him to advocate, listen to what he might miss and ask questions.
So that is where we are at this point in time. I still don't have a job, and apparently don't need one as I am now his full time healthcare advocate - which for the next month or so looks like a full time job in and of itself.
Me, my friend, and the doctors are all of the mind that if we can get the swelling down a lot of the other issues will take care of themselves.
So all that to say, advocate for yourselves and pay attention to what your spouse is doing regarding their health; because they may very well need you to advocate for them. And, if you are on Amlodipene, keep an eye on your ankles and if you notice ANY swelling get to the doctor immediately to discuss alternatives.
