Prior to going to the doctor, after all my ideas ran out (what?! I'm a mom! I'm practically a doctor - without the ability to prescribe drugs, but still....we ALL know that moms have the ability to diagnose pretty much anything) I turned to WebMD; as do all modern mothers whose diagnosing abilities have hit a dead end, and after keying in the symptoms I was pretty certain that I had either a) psoriasis or b) leprosy. I was betting on the psoriasis since leprosy is pretty rare these days....and because I've had a bout with psoriasis once before long ago.
So off to the doctor I went; where I proclaimed to her that I had psoriasis. She looked and informed me that I did NOT has psoriasis but that I had Xdfjdejahdfsarjalrjwe (not the real name, obviously, but I can't remember it and I'm pretty sure it was that long and had very few vowels) which was a type of fungal infection (ewwww! Gross! How did that happen????).
This baffled me. Because a) how could I have been wrong b) how could WebMD have been wrong and c) HOW in the hell could *I* have contracted a fungal infection....on my HEAD!?
After reluctantly conceding that SHE was the one who actually attended medical school (and had been a mom far longer than I), I finally accepted her diagnoses and took her prescription. And it worked.
For a little while. And then it came back. So I called for a refill. And it worked. For a while. And then it spread. I called for yet another refill and I was informed that I had to come back in (oh, the horror).
I put it off because by now, "my" doctor had left for her new job (just for the record, I still believe that doctors shouldn't be allowed to just abandon patients like that.....) and I was reluctant to deal with a new one. And so I continued to itch and it continued to spread until finally I just couldn't take it anymore and I called for an appointment.
The new (fresh-faced) doctor looked me over and promptly called in another (more experienced) doctor. They both agreed that this was, in fact, Xdfjdejahdfsarjalrjwe. They even took samples to look at under the microscope. They both said that "aggressive" treatment was warranted. They checked my blood - to make sure I was "up" to the treatment since it, apparently, can wreak havoc on your kidneys. They told me to take the pills every day for six weeks and then return to show them that
Immediately after taking the first pill, I noticed that new areas had broken out. But I persevered. Because, dammit, I was tired of the itching and I was ready for this new "aggressive" treatment to kick in. And it helped....a little; very little (yes, I admit, I was delusionally optimistic at this point).
After six weeks, I went back so they could see how I was coming along. Surprise, surprise.....nothing had changed.
The new doctor admitted defeat and said it was time to refer me to a dermatologist. Fine. Whatever. Let's just deal with this already - that was my attitude. It took a while but finally I got the appointment, which was for the other day.
The dermatologist looked me over and in under two minutes declared that I did NOT have Xdfjdejahdfsarjalrjwe. She looked me in the eye and told me,
"You have psoriasis."
I looked at her in total shock and stammered, "That's what I TOLD them I had! I WebMd'd myself!" She laughed and said something about "Doctor Google," gave me prescriptions for a whole host of creams, ointments, sprays and instructions on what not to do (in total contradiction to what I had been instructed TO do; apparently while the symptoms are similar the treatments are not) and said that I'd probably get some relief in under three days.
THREE days! This has been going on for OVER a year. And do you know what one of the main triggers of psoriasis is?
What do you want to bet that the stress of the itching, the wondering where in the world I could have contracted Xdfjdejahdfsarjalrjwe and when it was all going to stop (in addition to everything else going on in my life right now) is WHAT contributed to the spreading of it in the first place?
Only me *sigh.* Only me. I swear, this stuff only happens to me.
The good news? After only TWO treatments (which AREN'T poised to attack my kidneys) I am already feeling 100% better. Imagine that. It's amazing the results you get when you are receiving treatment for what you actually have. The bad? I have an appointment with a rheumatologist....just in case, because, apparently, psoriasis is linked with arthritis and, according to the