How to drive yourself OVER THE EDGE in no time at all.

Want to know how to drive yourself completely and utterly insane in less time than it takes to blink?  Well, then you've certainly landed on the right blog post.

First you - oh so carelessly inform your husband that the ONLY thing you want for your birthday next month is to spend a few days at the beach.  He agrees enthusiastically that, yes, you DO need a vacation (as long as he doesn't have to go - because seriously?  Hubby + beach = Never gonna happen. Which then reminds you that when you both decide to - or can - retire you will have to live on total opposite ends of the state) and that, in fact, you DESERVE a vacation.

And you are giddy.  Because now, for the first time in LONG time (in over three-possibly four or five - years to be exact) you and your beloved Man-Child are about to hit the road.  Back long before unemployment came along and walloped us upside the head (and before school trips were scheduled over Spring Break - seriously school?  What ever happened to quality time with the family?), Man-Child and I spent every Spring Break doing something fun - just the two of us.  It was fabulous.  We went to Texas; Pennsylvania; Williamsburg, VA;  Dollywood; Myrtle Beach; Daytona Beach; Hershey Park; Washington, DC (although, to be truthful - that was one of those "school trips" and not nearly as fun as it could have been).  And a few other places that I've momentarily forgotten.

Man-Child and I travel well together; at least we do now that he isn't an infant who had a hate/hate relationship with his car seat. We know how to have fun together.  We laugh, we talk, we are silly - and this makes me happier than anything else on the planet.  It's amazing.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes...giddy.  That - so far - is the best part of it.

Then you inform Man-Child that it is time for a road trip to the beach.  And he is OVER THE MOON!  And proceeds to tell you how much he has missed our little trips together and absolutely CANNOT WAIT for this trip; that it will be the BEST TRIP OF THEM ALL!

And you are pleased.  And THAT becomes the best part of it.

Then you begin your obsessive research.  And realize that OH MY HELL going to the beach in July is BEYOND expensive.  And then you begin to get sick.

So you dial your expectations back a bit and decide that staying in a "dive" isn't beneath you...until you begin to look at the "reviews" that are posted and are accosted with words like "bedbugs" and the words "no refunds, cancellations, etc. for ANY reason - even a death in the immediate family" (ok, that last part is just "implied;" but still....) then you determine that maybe, just maybe, the two of you sleeping in the compact car is actually doable and, possibly start to think that this trip is doomed from the get go...

And then Man-Child asks you if you've found a hotel yet; and you remember how excited he is about it - and then your resign yourself to spending more money than you'd like - in a place, that according to the internet is uninhabitable - go back to searching.