I've been trying to post this for the past week - but it has just been too hard and I'm still on the fence as to whether I will post or not.
Last week, the world lost a wonderful person. One who loved deeply and laughed loudly. A beautiful soul that was loved by all who met her was lost...to suicide.
Even now, it doesn't seem possible.
She and I had lost touch over the years for various reasons. And that makes this so much more difficult.
I had always thought there would be time to mend the broken fence; there wasn't. I always knew that we would reconnect at some point - because how could we not - we were soul sisters; now we never will. I always knew the day would come that would find us sitting at the table again with a glass of wine either laughing hysterically or in the throes of a deep conversation; that will never happen. I knew that we would celebrate at our children's weddings; now we won't. I knew we would revel in our grandchildren; now we can't.
I thought she knew that I would always be there when she needed me; apparently, she didn't. And I will always wonder...WHY?
I am beyond devastated.
Learn from me...mend those fences now because as the old adage goes, tomorrow isn't promised. And. as it usually is with adages; it's true.
Please, send up prayers for the three beautiful children she's left behind...they are going to need them. And while you are at it; say a couple for me.
The service is next week and then this will all be all too real; and I don't know if I can handle it.
Because I am still having a hard time believing that she isn't out there in the world.