Things I've Never Done (or....The post that took three days to craft; oh my hell, these things are hard!)

I blatantly stole this idea from Julie....but to be fair, I told her I would probably steal it....so technically it ISN'T stealing....even though she stole it from someone else, who stole it from someone else and so on....so maybe it is stealing....kinda, sorta, in a way....but not in a way that makes me liable....I think.

I also could have stolen most of her list (since we are so much alike) but I figured that would be going too far.....so without further ado here is my list.

I'm *cough, cough* 29 years old (oh, be quiet.  And NO, I will NOT produce my birth certificate to prove it; you are just going to have to trust me!) and these are the things I've never done

1.  I've never worn my wedding dress (I bought it....I just never wore it.  What can I say?  Meddlesome mother, obstinate daughter.  That pretty much sums it up.)

2.  I've never been out of the country...ever.  Not even to Mexico - which was *right* there when I lived in Texas - but I do have this on my "bucket" list because there are so many places I want to go.  And my husband?  Well, he can suck it because I don't need him as a traveling companion.

3.  I have never been to Disney (I know!) but considering my husband I may never get there unless I arrange a "girls only" trip with my girlfriends (IF I ever have any extra money again and yes, you can all denigrate him now for being a stick in the mud).

4.  I have never been on a cruise (again, I know! And yes, once again this is all hubby's fault.  Hmmm, I'm sensing a theme emerging....)

5.  I have never read War and Peace.  And have no desire to - it looks extremely boring and heavy.

6.  I have never owned an animal.  Seems like a lot of work to me and believe me, the two animals I live with are more than enough work to keep me occupied (although....we did have that fish - the one that had apparently lived forever before it was given to Man-Child...wherein it promptly died after someone over-fed it.  Man-Child should be thanking his lucky stars that he is still alive).

7.  I have never not been a reader (except maybe before I could, you know, actually read).  I love reading.  I love to lose myself in a good story.  And I love the fact that my son loves to read.  I may actually be *that* person that will buy books for children as a gift to encourage reading (although to be truthful, I do usually buy them a "real" gift too - you know, so they don't think of me as *that* person.....)

(holy cow!  This list thing is harder than I thought!)

8.  I have never been able to see clearly.  Apparently, before it was discovered that I am blind as a bat, I walked around in a daze running into things.  I've worn glasses/contacts FOREVER and would consider Lasik except I looked the procedure up on the web (damn my insatiable need to read!) and scared myself silly.  So I figure I'll be wearing contacts forever.  In fact, I think I will put it in my will that the mortician put my contacts in when I "go" so that I can see what is what on the other side.

9.  I have never met a blog friend in real life.  This is also on my "bucket" list and totally do-able, I think (look out Julie, I'm figuring you will be my easiest "meet" since surely I'll be able to make it home for a visit before I die).

10.  I've never had surgery (thank God!  Oh wait!  Does oral surgery count?  I'm thinking "no" since they sent me home right after - which totally freaked Hubby out.  Apparently, they handed me over to him as I was still coming down from the anesthesia and he was afraid I'd keel over on his watch; what with the twitching and drooling and all).

11.  I've never had a (diagnosed) broken bone (although, I suspect that my brother broke my tail bone when we were kids - but it seemed to have fixed itself; except when I occasionally have odd twinges.  When that happens I TOTALLY curse my brother).

12.  I've never had anything waxed (sounds really painful!).

13.  I've never had to potty-train a girl.....

(yes, I'm reaching now)

14.  I've never had Cheerwine.  I don't care if it does have the word "wine" in the name - it's not something that appeals to me.  And no, I don't care if it IS a locally distributed soda - it still does not appeal.

15.  I've never had coleslaw on a barbecue sandwich or hamburger (we discovered this little gem after being here for about two days - ICK).  I'm sorry....coleslaw grosses me out.  Also, apologies to my Texas readers - I know that you consider barbecue to be beef.  But here it is pork, apparently with coleslaw ON it (I know! ICK!).  I can never remember which kind we have here - but I think it is the Lexington style and it is quite tasty.....if you don't put coleslaw on it (which I discovered after about 14 years of living here).

16.  I have never watched an episode of the Kardashians or the Real Housewives of Where-ever.  Nope, not once.

17.  I have never been arrested (again, thank God!  Although....there was that one time when a girlfriend and I snuck out to meet some guys and we were "detained" because we fit the description of two girls that were with some guys who robbed a convenience store....which, as it turns out, were the very same guys we were supposed to be meeting - hey, don't judge, I never said I made SMART choices when I was in high school.  I waited until I was older for that).

18.  I have never sent a child off to college (but it appears that I will be crossing this one off the list quite soon, as Man-Child has been accepted to every school he applied to....someone hold me as I sob uncontrollably and laugh with joy for him at the same time.)

19.  I have never gone to college (technically - sure I've taken a few classes, or I may have attended a Defensive Driving class at the local college [to get out of a ticket...*cough, cough*] - but that doesn't count).  But I'm thinking I may have to enroll....in the same school as Man-Child.....what?!  It could be classified as bonding, right?

20. I have never not finished a book I was reading...no matter how terrible (oh wait....there was that one, it was so bad I can't even remember the name or what it was about, so that one doesn't count).

21.  I have never been in a real photo-shoot....I'm thinking those family portrait-type things don't count....right?

22.  I have never been on television; although Man-Child and Hubby have appeared in a televised "snippet" once; while I stood off to the side and pretended I didn't know them, so I wouldn't accidentally get sucked in.

(can this get any harder?!  Holy cow, there is a MILLION things I've never done.  Why am I drawing a blank here?)

23.  I have never been good at math.  When confronted with any type of math problem, no matter how simplistic, I freeze up.  Literally.  Man-Child finds it quite humorous.  I can still recall, with much clarity, sitting at the table, sobbing, as my father tried his damnedest to patiently help me with my 3rd grade math homework.  Obviously, it never sunk in. Which begs the question, just who will be working on the finance-part of this going-to-college-deal?  Not me, obviously!  But after watching Hubby freak out over it last night, I'm thinking Man-Child might be the best choice for doing that....and our taxes.  What could go wrong with having a 17 year old as our "financial" adviser?

24.  I have never been happy about waking up to an alarm clock (but really?  Has any of us? Granted, these days I "automatically" get up early - but I place the blame squarely on the alarm clock for having "trained" my body to do that).

25.  I have never been a morning person.  Despite the fact that I tend to get up early now, I am NOT a person to talk to in the morning.  I need, at the bare minimum, at least a cup and a half of coffee before I am willing to deal with whatever you have to say to me; even if it is just "good morning".  Which explains why my alarm clock is set to go off so early.....so I can get caffeinated enough to deal with whatever the day has to throw at me; which lately?  Really?  I need more coffee.

26.  I have never loved dealing with laundry.  Any aspect of it (I know you are all nodding in agreement - because the truth of the matter is this - laundry sucks).  Laundry is one of those chores that has to be done but no matter how many times you do it, it is NEVER done!  Every single time you think, "THERE! It is DONE!"  That is when you will notice that it has started piling up in the basket....AGAIN.  It is a never ending cycle....literally.

27.  I have never seen a blue corn moon (just what in the hell is that anyway? I guess I need to Google it).

28.  And the last thing that I've never done - finished a list in its entirety.  Why?  Because, apparently these things are too damn hard....and pretty much endless....kinda like laundry.