September 14, 2019

A weepy, hot mess...

The title sums up my day yesterday perfectly.

I knew going in that it was going to be a weepy day as one of my friends (a "legacy" employee from the company prior [and, I've just realized that post never really explained the whole story - which may never be told here to anyone's satisfaction] through to the transition) was retiring yesterday.  That in itself wouldn't be too bad (I thought) but yesterday was also my other friend's know, the one that isn't here on this earth anymore.

What never occurred to me was that these two events culminating on the same day would turn me into someone who found herself sobbing in the bathroom several times in one day.  And yet - here we are.

Although my friend died almost a year and a half ago, there is not one day that goes by that I don't think of her.  My sweet friend two doors down is the same and this morning texted me because she knew I would be hurting today, just as she was.

I know that the ache in my heart will possibly fade with time; but will never go away entirely.  I miss her so very much.

The other night, the "legacy" employee's wife threw a retirement party for him.  Which looked like a family reunion to us other "legacy" employees as people from the old company - current and retired, mixed with a few of the new company employees, all came together.  At one point, my friend was prompted to make a speech.  He said many things, including how much he loved (most) of us and how much he would miss the people and then he said (forgive me as I quote him), "The one thing I won't miss is FUCKING xxxxx!"  This was proclaimed as his new boss (not a legacy employee) stood in front of him.  Not that there was anything he could do about it at this point.

Here's the thing, the new company isn't so bad - it's just different.  But I think the problem most legacy employees have is that everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - about the old company is verboten.  Even things that worked - but that is a post for another day, perhaps.  It also appears that the parent company can't just leave us to get the job done - they want to micro-manage everything to death, which is one of the many reasons my friend decided to retire early.

I think what was so hard about losing this particular employee - besides the fact that he is a friend - is that is just another little piece of our "family" fading away.  And that's what the new company and the new co-workers just don't get; and probably never will.

We were a family, of sorts.  That legacy employee that retired?  He'd been with the company for over thirty years, I've worked; and socialized, with him for eighteen years.  He literally watched Man-Child grow up since first grade.

On our floor, we only have a handful of the "legacy newbies" (those of us with fifteen to twenty years under our belts) left - and, I suppose, it's safe to say - we aren't the newbies anymore.


  1. I know how much anniversaries and birthdays can hurt for loved ones no longer here. But I assure you that it does get better with time. I worked in my job for almost thirty years, and nothing was the same when I retired as when I started. I'm very glad I retired when I did. Sending you lots of virtual hugs, Gigi.

  2. My dad died six years ago today. Hard day, so I know what you mean...

  3. I am sorry you are going thru this difficult time. I cannot imagine.

    As far as the workplace struggles, I have never lasted very long at a 'real job.' I did not enjoy workplace drama or changes in management or only ever working in newly-created-positions. The positions never ended up developing into what the hiring folks initially thought the positions would be. Kudos to you for sticking it out. Coach works at a place that was sold. The micromanaging is making him nuts, and in turn making me nuts. Good luck.

  4. I'm so sorry, such anniversaries are very difficult.

  5. My heart hurts for you. Sadness about loss and change is sadly a part of our life that is never, ever easy. I hope you're able to remember some good times with your friend who has passed and hopefully keep in touch with your newly retired friend.