Well, so much for the "choose your own days" for our hybrid work model.
Last week we received a missive from the "communications department" - which basically means "the powers that be" dictated the communication and directed that department to spread the word.
Basically, it boiled down to the fact that a scheduled in-person day is being introduced to encourage "connectivity and collaboration" (and possibly COVID - of course, this bit was added by me). So the two-day in office now mandates one of those days for EVERYONE to be in the office on a certain day. And that we should plan to utilize in-person meetings and discussions. Masks optional, of course.
(Seems to me, someone has been counting noses and noticed that some people haven't been following the rules. So, in the time honored tradition of corporations everywhere - rather than punishing the rule breakers they punish the entire company.)
Oh, that sound you hear? That's just me screaming into the void.
As you might assume, I have MANY thoughts on this issue (especially as I am keeping a VERY careful eye on the latest data for our county) but I will keep them to myself as I continue to remind myself that all in all I am very lucky. Very lucky. They could have just said, "You know what? Plan to come in five days a week from now on." But that doesn't mean I have to like it - no matter how lucky I am.
Never mind the fact that my job doesn't usually involve collaboration or the fact that I would much rather walk across burning coals than "connect" with some of these people.
Then, to add insult to injury, it was announced that a "team building" exercise is coming next month. The leadership team has already participated in this exercise and thinks it is "wonderful" and will do much to foster "connectivity and collaboration" among us peons. Someone shoot me now.
I think in my next life, I am going to have a career as a consultant. God knows these corporations spend boatloads of money on hiring people to tell them how to foster "connectivity and collaboration" with their employees. Then I can sit back and laugh while I count my millions of dollars while the peons at the corporation waste valuable time on the ridiculous "team building" exercise that I have recommended
Yes. That's my solid plan for my next life.
