Husband Update #4 - HE'S HOME!! The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

 I have been trying to write this post for two and a half weeks now.  But, as I've discovered, having him underfoot 24/7 and constantly needing something every time I turn around means I haven't had the time to sit down for a minute, much less for however much time I'll need to bang this out.  Be warned, this is just the tip of the iceberg of what has been going on over here recently.

At any rate, he was discharged from the inpatient rehab hospital on 9/7.  Now, when I tell you I was hesitant when they gave us his discharge date a full week before they set him free; I mean I was HESITANT.  What do you mean you are going to send this man home with me in this state?  I was in a panic.  But they promised he would be ready to come home.  And, in a sense, he was.

I stressed to them that he needed to be able to climb the five stairs to get into the house or else he'd be sleeping in the garage.  So, they worked him on climbing stairs.  And he mastered it.

So, on the day we came home, I was feeling confident.  But what QUICKLY became apparent, was that not one of us ever thought about what comes after using the rails to climb the stairs - you know, when you run out of rails and have to support yourself enough to grab the walker.  So needless to say, he came home, climbed those five stairs and promptly fell!!

Lucky for me, it was a holiday (Labor Day) and every neighbor was home.  I sent out one phone call and had a houseful of people here in under a minute to help me get him up and into a solid chair.  Crisis one out of the way.  And I can thank God again for having a wonderful circle of friends living in this cul-de-sac.  These people have been so very supportive and so very there for us during this ridiculously difficult time in our life.  And I am forever grateful for each and every one of them.

Having him home has been wonderful, for the most part.  And I've also come to realize, what I couldn't see when we were in the thick of those early days in the ICU, was just how close I came to losing him for good.  I think when we were in the thick of it, I was in shock and denial.  Now?  Now I can see clearly and am extraordinarily thankful that we've come this far. 

For the first two weeks at home things were going along great.  We determined, that I could get him in and out of the house via the back door (after a kind neighbor added a couple of rails) which only has three shallow stairs vs those steep five in the garage.  I just need to drive through the yard to the back to be able to get him into the car.  This works great as long as it isn't raining, otherwise, I'm afraid I'll get the car stuck.

So, as I said, things were great.  We even discovered that he can cook, if he likes.  Nothing elaborate or involved (like he used to do) yet, but enough that he felt empowered and useful.

Sure, sure, he was complaining about not sleeping well but on the whole, things were going well.

And then things started going sideways.  Just a little.  Like him waking me up at 4:00 am by coming into our room to brush his teeth.  Why?!

And then, things began to REALLY go sideways.  On Monday, at 2:30 am I was jolted out of my bed when I heard/felt a big THUD.  I jumped out of bed and ran down the hallway to find him on the floor in the guest bath.  Apparently, he'd slipped.  Somehow, I was able to get him up and safely ensconced in his chair.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go back to sleep.  Gee, I wonder why?

On Tuesday, he fell AGAIN at 3:30 am.  Again, by some kind of miracle I was able to get him back up and into his chair.  Where he promptly fell asleep.  Needless to say, sleep was out the window for me at that point.  Around 7:00 am, he was still deeply asleep, I thought.  So I figured I could steal away for 30 minutes for a quick walk.  BIG mistake.

When I came back home, I walked into what amounted to a crime scene.  At some point, while I was gone, he came to and fell AGAIN but this time conked his head and proceeded to bleed from one end of the house to the other.  As you might imagine, I lost my damn mind.  He was conscious and coherent, thank goodness, but with the amount of blood I was faced with I immediately called 911.

Firefighters and EMTS showed up almost immediately and began to triage the situation.  Despite the copious amount of blood, the lead EMT felt that he would only need a stitch/staple; but needed to taken to the ER to be checked out.

Once the neighbors noticed the emergency vehicles, the texts/calls began to pour in.  And then, one brave angel showed up on the porch and began to clean up the crime scene for me and swore to me that she would take care of it while I followed the ambulance to the ER.

As you might imagine, our entire day was spent at the ER.  Where, thankfully, he checked out fine.  No brain bleed/bruising, etc.  And, he only needed one staple.  But, as one woman in the lobby so helpfully pointed out, he did look like he'd been in a fight with a grizzly bear.  Eventually, we were sent home with an all clear and one staple in his head.  And, as promised, my sweet neighbor had cleaned up the crime scene.

This brings us to yesterday.  We made it through Tuesday night without incident.  Thank God, I really needed some sleep at that point.  By then I'd been going on three days without a full night's sleep.  So, yesterday morning, I was having a cup of coffee and reading the paper online, when he hobbled out of the room to go to the bathroom; when what do I hear?  Another THUD!  I ran to the bathroom and there he was, on the floor AGAIN!  He refused any help from me and insisted that I call our neighbors two doors down.  She and her husband came on the run.

Once we had him up and in his chair, she and I (remember she is a nurse) began trying to figure out what was going on that has him falling all over the place all of a sudden.  She took his oxygen level and was not pleased with the result.  Between the two of us, we determined he wasn't getting enough oxygen, which in turn, wasn't allowing him to really sleep.  So yesterday, I made an executive decision to up his oxygen (which I will discuss with his doctor on Monday) levels (while monitoring him with the oximeter). And, that seems to have done the trick.  After they left, he fell asleep.  And I mean he SLEPT.  He was out for about 8 hours yesterday; I truly wondered if he'd actually be able to sleep last night; he slept so much.  Friends, this man is so sleep deprived, he did in fact sleep last night...for an additional 10 hours.  

When he finally woke up this morning, he told me that he slept great and, honestly, it was the first time in recent memory that I have witnessed him being so rested and alert after waking up.  I've continued to monitor his oxygen levels, and while it isn't perfect, I'm fairly confident that upping his oxygen for the time being will help him sleep and keep him alert and aware and less likely to fall.

But, I have also given him very strict orders to NOT LEAVE HIS CHAIR IF I'M NOT HOME and to ALWAYS HAVE HIS PHONE CHARGED AND IN HIS POCKET (this is why there was blood from one end of the house to the other, he was trying to find his phone).  Why do I leave him alone, you might be asking yourself.  Well, it's not actually feasible for me to not leave him alone for short periods of time.  Although, after Tuesday, I did start to wonder if there was some way that I could fashion our life so that I'd never need to leave home again.  But no, it's simply not feasible. 

So as of now, his orders are to wear that oxygen at all times, never leave his chair without my supervision and to keep his phone on his person.

But despite all the recent trauma.  He is home.  And I am so very happy for that.  Even if he did make me go to the grocery store TWICE today (even being mostly homebound - until it quits raining - he is still finding a way to fund our local grocery store). 

Hopefully, going forward I can move forward with other posts and with much more hopeful news about how the recovery is going.  He finally starts outpatient PT next week (don't get me started on WHY it's taken so long to get that scheduled after his discharge) and I assume we will see marked improvement as that continues. 

Thank you all so very much for all your good wishes, prayers and thoughts.  I appreciate you all more than you will ever know.  Much love! xo