Hi, I'm a yoga teacher. You might know me from my hits "move with the breath," "opening up through the body," and the chart-topping "inhale...exhale..." https://t.co/Jgc60WdnJB— Nicole MacPherson (@NicoleBoyHouse) February 29, 2020
Hi, I'm an Administrator for a corporate Legal Department. You might know me from my greatest hits, some of which include:
- How many times do I have to tell you? ONLY an officer of the company can sign a contract!
- Please turn in your time sheets today.
- You can't open an Excel document with Word.
- Please approve that invoice immediately.
- If you didn't give me a copy of that contract, I will NOT be able to provide a copy to you now that you are looking for it a year later.
- Turn in your time sheet please.
- You need to have this signed again, you aren't an officer of the company and don't have the authority to do so. Yes, I mean it.
- You did what?!
- No sir, I cannot help you to sue our company.
- Please approve that invoice - you've been sitting on it for 20 days already.
- No, I don't have a copy of that contract. Why? Because you never gave it to me, despite me asking for it REPEATEDLY.
- No, I have no idea why a recycling can mysteriously appeared in the handicap stall. (A year and half later, it's still there)
- Yes, I know where that confidential document you printed is - it's been shredded. What? You've been TOLD not to leave confidential documents on the printer uncollected for days at a time. As an attorney, I thought you would know that.
- Approve that invoice RIGHT NOW. Please.
- Turn in your time sheet RIGHT NOW. Please.
and the list goes on.
What are some of your greatest hits?
Hey it's me! :)
ReplyDelete"You can't open an excel document with word" made me laugh so much. This cracks me up!
I run a small daycare out of my home, you might know me from my hits . . . 'Baby it's cold outside' (please buy your tot a winter coat, the fall jacket is not warm enough) -the parenthesis is unspoken but sent subliminally to more than one family over the years, believe it or not. We live in Chicago!, or 'Your little guy is the fastest crawler ever' (cannot wait for him to learn boundaries, but he has a few months before I require him to 'get' it and expect him to stay in the family room where I can see him from the kitchen), and 'This guy is the cutest ever' - nothing subliminal there - he IS the cutest and his parents are the most appreciative, or finally the one that tops the charts and my last nerve: 'Please knock!' (to the only family that barges into my home without EVER knocking on the door first).
ReplyDeleteYour list gave me a lot of laughs, which we all know is the best medicine. :-)
ReplyDeleteOther than the obvious, "Hey, WAIT, wait a minute Mr. Postman", There's "Here comes Amazon, Here comes Amazon, Right down my driveway" (sung to the tune of Here comes Santa Claus) and "If you'd stop ordering stuff I wouldn't have to deliver your bills."
ReplyDeleteOH and I forgot, "What did I Order Now???" (sung to Who can it be now, Men At work) , "Irony! Mailbox In A Box Via Amazon", and "STOP! It's Wine and Prime!" (sung to MC Hammer's Don't touch this... which could also apply to all my hazmat packages.)
DeleteThis is hilarious! I'm sure I have a lot of number #1 hits, but I can't think of any right now. Thanks for the giggle.
ReplyDelete