July 2, 2023

I Love My Husband But...

Why do we live in the same house as our spouse?  Whoever thought THAT was a good idea?

Oh sure, at first it's an ideal arrangement but after 30 plus years?  Not such a good idea.

I will admit upfront that I've been crabby this weekend before he even started to get on my very last nerve.  I am blaming the heat; that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

As with most incidents between spouses it all started in the kitchen.  Or, more specifically, in the kitchen regarding the dishwasher.

Yesterday, as I was loading the dishwasher after lunch The Husband piped up that he would put the food away and I happily (well, not really - remember I was already crabby) agreed that he should.  And then left for a quick errand.

My plan upon returning home was to mop the living and dining room while he was out; so that the floor would be dry before he came home from his errand.

Now, I don't know about you - but I mistakenly assumed that by offering to put away the food (silly me, I should know better by now) he would also put the said pots/pans/etc. INTO the perfectly near empty dishwasher - which conveniently resides right next to the sink.

Can you guess what I found when I came home ready to mop the floor?  A sink full of dishes - again the sink is RIGHT NEXT to the dishwasher.  Cue crabbiness escalating to pure, white hot rage.  (Why no, I don't think that was extreme - after thirty years of marriage this is completely warranted as he should know by now that however poorly he may load the dishwasher, I still expect that dirty dishes need to be put into the dishwasher when it isn't in use).

So I tidied the kitchen, started the dishwasher and then channeled that rage into mopping the floor.  Then I took a deep breath and told myself that we would have this discussion AGAIN when I wasn't in a crabby mood.

Later that evening, I emptied the dishwasher.  He actually watched me do it and thanked me for doing so (because this is a chore that he despises).  And then I watched him place his empty salad bowl into the sink that sits RIGHT NEXT TO THE DAMN DISHWASHER.

In all honesty?  He's lucky to be alive right about now.

23 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm sorry you are going through this. And I feel for both of you. Men!

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  2. I read this last night and LAUGHED OUT LOUD. Yes to all of this. Such a funny - yet accurate - portrayal of marriage <3

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    1. Yes, no one tells you before you get married that one day you will lose your mind over some minor quirk or habit that they have.

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    1. I knew I wasn't alone with this frustration!

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  4. At least he put the food away into containers. There was a time I'd find the pots and pans full of leftover food in the fridge as is. The training never stops with men.

    I found MY COMB put away yesterday, full of his long, grey hairs. I let him know.

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    1. Nance - he does that too; but generally only when he makes a big pot of soup or chili or something. I've decided that I'm not going to push that issue since I don't see it sitting in the sink or on the counter.

      He used your comb?! Has he no boundaries?! If I were you, I'd keep an eye on your toothbrush. ;-)

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  5. I feel this way about laundry and cleaning the bathrooms. One day while doing laundry, I actually thought about throwing it all away. Humaning is so hard.

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    1. Humaning is hard enough just by itself - throwing another person and their annoying habits is enough to make one completely crazy.

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  6. ARGHHHH!
    On a completely unrelated note, I find it fascinating that everyone in the world has different dishwasher rules. For example, I have never in my life put a pot or a pan into the dishwasher. I always wash those by hand, probably because I feel like they'd fill the dishwasher too quickly.
    My thing is making the bed. I always always always make my bed, the boys also make their beds, but once in a while when I'm not home my husband DOESN'T make the bed, and seeing that unmade bed makes me nuts. I have "convinced" him to do it when I'm not home, and it's been nice. I mean, he doesn't put the decorative pillows on but you can't have everything, I guess. His thing is to make sure all the weights are turned a certain way in the weight rack, and I always try to remember to do that, since he is making an effort to make the bed (but no decorative pillows...)

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    1. You know, it IS fascinating how differently we all handle our household tasks, isn't it? He will cram as many things in the dishwasher as he can. We never put anything with Teflon into the dishwasher and, if it's been a big meal or if we had company, I will hand wash the pots and pans.

      Speaking of making the bed, here's where I have to give him credit. He makes our bed every morning; including the decorative pillows, so obviously he has some good qualities that make me keep him around. ;-)

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  7. ARRRGHHHH. I am very proud of you for not whamping him on the head with one of the pots!

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    1. Suzanne, I'm not going to lie...the urge was STRONG.

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  8. So funny. We all have our little journeys. I am much tidier than my husband so do a lot more picking up of stuff. But it doesn’t bother him! He does the dishes but leaves them for HOURS which drives me nuts; at this ripe old age I have realized that we need to pick our battles and decide what is really important.

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    1. It is funny what will bother one person, while the other person is oblivious. What's even funnier, is that somehow we end up married to a person who is completely unbothered by what makes you insane.

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  9. Every. Stinking. Time. *sigh* I think we both need the T-shirt that says "I love my husband (but sometimes I really want to square up)

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    1. LOL! Yes, I think we need those t-shirts!

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  10. oh the pain. I sometimes wonder if during the dating process people should watch each other in the kitchen especially about how one loads the dishwasher.

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    1. The only problem with that is when are dating, we are all wearing rose colored glasses and they can (seemingly) do no wrong. It's only after living with the person for many, many years that you start to notice those annoying things that they do.

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  11. This is why there are no men living in this house. No I have teenagers instead...worse

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  12. I remember absolutely losing it when my ex-husband and I were still together. At the time, we had to make ice the old-fashioned way with water in the ice tray. We also had a container in the freezer to put the ice in when it had formed into ice cubes. So, if the ice container was empty, you simply put the frozen ice from the ice tray into it (a dozen ice cubes) then refilled the tray with water and put that back into the freezer. Simple, right? He used to pull out a few ice cubes from the ice tray and then fill it back with water so that the ice container would be empty, but I couldn't get ice from the tray because there was also water in the tray that wasn't frozen yet. On a hot Texas day, this was just the lowest of the low. There's a special place in hell for people like that! BTW, there are studies that suggest that when the temperature goes up, so do people's tempers! I hope you and your hubby get the dishwasher situation resolved. In our house, if my husband cooks, I do the dishes. If I cook, he does the dishes, sometimes while I'm still in the middle of trying to cook. Nothing more irritating than when I'm focusing on a recipe and he interrupts with, "Are you finished using this knife? What about the cutting board?" At least he asks now. He used to just start cleaning up without asking and I'd go to use my knife and he'd have already gotten to it! Needless to say, Gigi, I feel your pain! Mona

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  13. Welp, I'm thinking that it's a miracle that he's permitted to live inside your house and that you're a saint to put with the dish nearby the dishwasher thing. What is he? Eleven years old?!

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