Hubby came to me the other morning and blurted out this rather random question (why yes, we do speak a lot of random in this house - although he claims it's usually just me. But you and I know better. Oh okay, you are right - it's usually me) "You know where we ought to move to when we retire?"
My first thought was "Retire? When will that ever happen given the current state of life?" But instead, I piped up with, "The beach!" Because that is where I would truly like to live - well, at least during the majority of the year but not during hurricane season.
He said, "No." (of course. We are going to have a real problem when it comes to retiring, I can already see). "Las Vegas."
Now given that this is a man who is not a gambler of any type and the fact that he hates heat this one surprised me.
I know that he figures if we lived somewhere "fun," and "glitzy" and is a "destination" that we might actually get family (specifically his family) to come and visit occasionally. (Although, in my mind the beach meets all those requirements.....)
We live exactly at the half-way point between family up north and family down south - but yet, we've had very few visits from family - despite the fact that the family seems to visit each other up north and down south fairly often. The icing on this cake? My brother-in-law's youngest daughter is now in college right across the state line - about an hour and a half from here. Despite the drives down to settle her in or to visit - we've yet to see anyone - even though you pretty much have to drive through North Carolina in order to reach South Carolina.
For the most part the family seems to like us whenever we visit (because yes, we are expected to do all the visiting) so we can't quite figure out why they don't come here. Anyone that has come for a visit is given the royal treatment and goes home exclaiming what a wonderful time they've had and how hospitable we are.
Hubby's mother has been to visit maybe once. She kind of gets a pass as she is older and can't be expected to make the nine hour drive. She doesn't like to fly - although she's been known to fly to Florida several times - much to my annoyance. I mean seriously. It's under an hour to fly here versus however long it takes to fly to Florida.
Hubby's sister has been a few times - after we guilted her into it. She makes the trip from Florida up north at least once a year. Her argument for not stopping? It was 45 minutes out of their way. Seriously??? Once we guilted her into it - they would stop for an overnight visit. Staying only about 12 hours before heading out to spend a week or two up north - and never stopping on the way back. She hasn't been back since we asked her not to stop 3 years ago because we had just moved that weekend and weren't prepared for company - we didn't have any of the beds set up or had even begun the process of sorting out the boxes.
Hubby's brother? Has never visited. Ever. This, I think, is what hurts Hubby the most as they are close. Brother - has no excuses. Especially now that his daughter is so close. Hell, he wouldn't even have to come here - just tell us that he is in South Carolina and we would drive down to meet him. But yet, this same brother is constantly badgering us to come up for a visit.
Even when I was planning a huge (and I mean HUGE) bash for Hubby's 50th and personally invited them - not a one showed up - much less gave a decent excuse. This I know, hurt him deeply.
I love Hubby's family, I really do. They are wonderful people - except for this. Not only is my husband deprived of his family - my son is also deprived as he has not had the opportunity to get to know his aunt and uncle or his cousins.
It's not like we smell funny. We don't (I've checked). We have plenty of room for visitors. We make people feel welcome. We don't live in a backwater area - there is plenty to do here if you don't want to actually visit with us and would rather see the sights. It is the most baffling thing.
We've invited them repeatedly. I've made pointed comments - so many, in fact, that Hubby has asked me to refrain - as it makes him uncomfortable. But, apparently doesn't make the family uncomfortable enough in my opinion.
So when I asked why Las Vegas - he responded "So every time someone asks to come visit - we could say we are too busy for them."
The hurt shines through.