Every day that I'm at work, I download and listen to a podcast of the Bob & Sheri Show; which is a syndicated morning radio show that used to air here EONS ago and, for whatever reason, the "powers that be" decided that this wasn't a prime market (even though we are right down the road from where they broadcast) and took them off the air here (yeah, I'm still not happy about that). Usually, I don't care for morning "drive time" shows because they usually irritate the hell out of me. But this show? This show, I love.
And although, I'm still aggravated (what? 10 years later?) that they aren't broadcast here anymore, I do enjoy listening to the podcasts because now I get to hear the show in its entirety.
Anyway...onto the purpose of this post. They have a segment in the show where they pose a topic and have callers call in with their stories or thoughts. It's sometimes hilarious and sometimes quite sad. Sometimes the topic is shallow and funny (such as What Did You Blow Up With Fireworks [or something like that] and sometimes it's a really deep topic. Such as the one today.
Today the topic was based on a quote that Sheri had read from Friedrich Nietzche (yeah, I know..... She's really smart and deep and all that [and funny!]. I could have lied and told you all that it was a quote *I* had read - but we'd all know better) which read (ahem)
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
Needless to say, this spawned quite few calls. Which got me to wondering, is it true? According to some of the calls, it isn't; but according to the majority of the calls it is. So what say you?
Do you have to be " best friends" with your partner - and do everything together to have a good marriage? Or, as an article I just read this afternoon suggests (which I CANNOT find ANYWHERE - so if you read the article and can point me to it you get extra brownie points!), are you better off being separate entities who have your own pursuits and hobbies?
Discuss.
I think it is a combination of both. You need to be friends with your spouse in order to enjoy them. But at the same time having separate interests is healthy and actually good for the marriage too.
ReplyDeleteHow's that for diplomatic?
I think a combination of both for me and Dirk. He is certainly one of my best friends though.
ReplyDeleteI, too, think it's a combination of both. Friendship is very important to the relationship. Why would you marry someone you can't be friends with, in the first place. Throughout a marriage, there are stages. Early on, it's passionate and steamy. Then the kids come along and things can slow down, because there just isn't enough time and energy. Kids grow up and move out, now they have the time, but perhaps the drive has changed. That's when it darned important they have that good friendship to count on!
ReplyDeleteOh, and there's nothing wrong with them having separate interests and long as they are ultimately interested in each other, too.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is my best friend, and we live together and follow our own pursuits. None of this "joined at the hip" business for us, but we do enjoy being together some of the time. It's all about respect for the other's viewpoint and passions, I think. Good thought provoking topic.
ReplyDeleteDon't ask me, I've been divorced so many times I'm almost a Gabor sister!
ReplyDeleteOhhh good question. I don't do everything with my Hubby but he is without a doubt my very best friend!
ReplyDeletehmmm, its a good question.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that spouses should be connected at the hip. If we did EVERYTHING together, what would we possibly talk about, that the other didnt already know....but I do believe that there should be an element of friendship.... all the qualities we look for in our friends, should also be present in our spouses.