February 9, 2017

The Great Coffee Caper

The beginning of this story actually started a few years ago...the distribution company that services our offices has their own coffee brand.  So naturally, they wanted to distribute their coffee.  I'm sure it saved the company a few pennies.

We gave the coffee a chance - but it was AWFUL.  So a good majority of us complained.  And they brought us a variation of their coffee...it wasn't much better.  So we continued to complain and eventually became the only floor in the building that was receiving Maxwell House.  Apparently, the other floors don't mind drinking swill.

So, for the past couple of years, we've enjoyed decent coffee.  Until a week or so ago...when the awful coffee showed up along side the Maxwell House.  We shoved it to the back and continued to use the Maxwell House.

But, to our utter horror, someone kept pulling the swill to the front and using it to make coffee.

Now you must realize, the fact that someone was actually making the coffee - someone other than the three or so of us that usually makes it - is a minor miracle.  But the fact that they were intentionally using the swill?  What the hell is wrong with this person's taste buds?

Finally, I contacted the person who deals with this vendor.  He assured me that it was a mistake on the part of a new driver and promised that from here on out they would only deliver the good stuff.  And as promised, they came out that day and delivered the good stuff...but failed to take away the gross stuff.

At first, we kept pushing the coffee to the back and pouring out full pots of sludge.  And it kept reappearing.

Obviously, this person was NOT getting the hint - or was flat out ignoring it.

This morning was the last straw.  When I came in there were two full pots of this vile liquid.  Then and there I concocted a plan.

The majority of the floor generally leaves the building for lunch at noon.  I generally head out around 1:00 pm.  Around 12:10, I headed toward the break room only to discover that someone actually decided to eat in there today, drat!

For the majority of the hour, I skulked around hoping they would leave.  Finally around 12:45 pm this person packed up and went back to his desk.  Here was my chance!

I hurried into the break room, snatched up the two offending boxes and carted them off to the executive kitchen (apparently our CEO loves this stuff) - which is kept under lock and key to most - and deposited the boxes of sludge.

So tomorrow morning?  I know without a shadow of a doubt, that there will be good coffee in the break room.  And one confused person.


  1. I guess none of them read your blog, eh? That was smart of you, and I understand that bad coffee is worse than no coffee at all! I feel the same about drinking swill. Won't do it. :-)

  2. okay please please update. This is the kind of mystery I need to follow. I am not being sarcastic I just need distraction!

    1. On Friday we enjoyed good coffee! Whoever it is that likes the swill never complained, as far as I know. Now we just keep our fingers crossed that the distribution company never makes that mistake again!