It is a major understatement to say my husband doesn't like working on cars....

I found this far too funny not to share...but then again I've been up since four am, so what do I know?

Of course, to give it context, let me start with the back story...

Probably about a month or two ago, Man Child came home for the weekend and mentioned that his headlight was out.  The Husband spent over an hour in the driveway, cursing like a sailor, because he just could not figure out how to wedge his giant paw into the tiny space.  Eventually, Man Child had to get on the road and promised that he'd get one of his friends to help him.  So he left with a non-working headlight.

A few weeks ago, Man Child was home again and, of course, his headlight still wasn't working (AND we discovered his license had expired...a whole 'nother story).  This time, The Husband, instead of waiting until Sunday, Googled the process on Saturday and was able to fix the headlight. 

And all was right with the world....

Until Friday, when I realized one of MY headlights was out.  So I sent him a text...

I actually giggled as I sent it.  Yes, I know there is no punctuation and that I'm kinda torturing him.

I never received a response, so when I got home I told him.  He was not amused.  Particularly after he discovered that in order to get to this headlight he'd have to remove the battery.  But even so, he felt confident that he could easily get to this one.

So this morning, he decided to fix the headlight.  

The next thing I know, he opens the door and asks me to Google which cable needed to be removed first from the battery, because you can ruin the battery...or something.  At least he knew that there was an order to it, I would have never known that and promptly ruined a perfectly good battery.  So I did and informed him that he needed to remove the negative cable first.  A few minutes later he comes in looking for a flashlight because, according to him, "It was dark as *censored* under the hood."  So I found him a flashlight and headed out to see how things were progressing.

It was not going well, at all.  He had successfully put the bulb in but was now turning the garage blue with all the creative cursing that was streaming from his mouth as he attempted to put the battery back in.  I offered to hold the flashlight and as I was holding the beam so he could see I casually said, "So, I guess it's safe to say, you aren't a car guy?"  The look he gave me was murderous as he took the flashlight back and sent me away.

After a few more minutes, he popped his head back in the door and asked me to double check which cable goes back on first.    In case you are curious, it's the positive.

Another minute or two goes by, he opened the door and said, "You aren't going to *censored* believe this!  I put in the *censored* dead bulb (from Man-Child's car) instead of the new one!"  I resisted the impulse to respond with, "That's why you are supposed to throw things away instead of letting them hang around in the garage."

Instead, I told him he could do it later, if he'd rather since I rarely drive at night anyway.  He exclaimed that no, he would do right then since he now has the experience to do it and went back out the door.

Only to come back in two seconds later to ask me if I could Google which cable needs to come of first.  I died laughing while gasping, "I thought you were 'experienced' at this?"

And here we are hours later and I'm still giggling about it.

How the hell have I NOT heard of this before now?!

Seriously?  If I'm just NOW hearing about this, which was posted in 2011, I'm pretty sure you haven't heard this story either.

Yes, you will cry - but your faith in humanity will also be restored.

The Life Changing Magic of Folding Rectangles...

About a month ago, I posted this tweet (follow me at @gigirambles)

Just re-folded 4 of the husband's 12 (small) drawers using the @konmari method; let's see how long it takes him to destroy all my hard work

— Gigi (@gigirambles) September 25, 2015

At the time, I truly believed that those drawers would once again be in shambles in no time.  I mean, honestly?  I've lived with this man for almost twenty-five years; and in all that time?  His drawers have ALWAYS been in a state of disarray...no matter how many times I've rearranged them.

I would re-fold everything to perfection only to have him rummage through them looking for THAT t-shirt (don't get me started on WHY he needs to wear a t-shirt EVERY day) which would, of course, ruin the order that I thought I had created.

But now here we are; a month later - and I can proudly report, those damn drawers are STILL in order!

Yes. a miracle has occurred! And look...I have evidence!

Be still my heart!  STILL neat and orderly!

If you've been hanging out on the internet at all in the past 6 months or so, then surely you've heard of the book by Marie Kondo - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and the, apparently, amazing way of folding clothing; which certainly IS life changing - as evidenced by the still pristine drawers.

The basic premise is fold your clothes in rectangles so they stand up in the drawers.  This is key because the Husband is able to see exactly what he has and pick out exactly which shirt he wants to wear - without disturbing the order of the other shirts.

For your convenience, this link will show you how to fold shirts in this fashion.

After seeing how well this worked for the Husband - without getting rid of any of his stuff (except for socks with holes) - I went out and bought the book.

The Husband actually said to me a few days ago, "I never knew I had SO many socks!"  (Yes, this man owns more socks than any other person on this earth...I wish I was kidding - between his socks and t-shirts it's ridiculous)

I haven't done anything with my clothes yet - but I am eyeballing things more closely lately and find that I am more inclined to toss items into the Goodwill box than usual.  I'm thinking that once I get a weekend to myself that my drawers will also get a makeover - even though I'm not as sloppy with my drawers as the Husband has been with his in the past.

I'm also eyeballing his closet; which seriously needs to be sorted...

Living in limbo - I'm done with it.

So here we are a week after my last post...and I've been thinking.

I do that a lot, you know...think.  Ruminate.  Chew on things.

And after all that thinking I have determined that I have been living for "what's next" and not for "what's going on right now."  Upon further examination (why yes, there is ALWAYS further examination), I've realized that I've been living like this ever since the Husband was laid off...over FIVE years ago!

At first, the "what's next" was waiting to see what was coming done the pike.  Then, after he found a job, the uncertainty that came with selling the house and, of course, this whole house hunting debacle; as evidenced here and here, means that I have been living in limbo for QUITE some time.

Enough is enough.  I need to live in the here and now.  I have wasted FIVE years!  That is unacceptable.

So today I was on a mission.  Halloween is exactly a week away.  So I went in search of pumpkins, decorative straw bales and burlap.

Yes, me.

I've never been one for decorating so much in the fall or for any other season other than Christmas. Because how can you NOT decorate for Christmas?.  Halloween...not so much.  I decorated more when Man-Child was small and avid for the ghoulish-ness of it all - but my heart wasn't in it.

But today?  Today I was all about decorating for Halloween/fall...but on a more grown up scale.

Now, here's the thing with decorating this late in the game; everything was 50-75% off - YAY!  The other thing about decorating this late in the game?  Not much is left - BOO!  I was able to score some decorative straw bales at 50% off but the white, tiny fake pumpkins I was searching for?  Nowhere to be seen.  If I was searching for purple or black glitter pumpkins then I would have scored.  Unfortunately, that wasn't what I had in mind.

So I branched out and hit the grocery store and Home Depot.  Home Depot came through with the mums and while, I missed the tiny, white pumpkins at the grocery, I was able to score a medium pumpkin and some variegated gourds which resulted in this (very modest, for a very modest porch) porch-scape.

And, I have to be sure to add that the Husband was the provider of the red leaves.  With all the yellow going on, I knew I needed to throw some red in there somewhere.  Across the street, in the common area, is a red maple that is located fairly close to the neighbor's yard, but me being me, didn't feel comfortable crossing the street to gather a few leaves from the lawn.  I tried to convince Man-Child to gather a few for me.  Obviously, he didn't feel comfortable about it either.  In fact, he tried to accuse me of using him as a "mule" to "steal" leaves.  But the Husband had no compunctions about traipsing across the street and gathering a few leaves for me.  (Just another reason I love him...he's sane.)

And then I actually partially unpacked a few of the boxes that I've been living with - mainly just the Master Bathroom; but I felt a little freer.  Tomorrow I plan to unpack the baking supplies and just a few of the decor boxes - the rest I am sending to reside in the attic until we find a house.

In the meantime?  I'm planning on living for today.

Because really?  Five years of living in limbo is insane.  It's time to live for now.

This whole house hunt thing is wearing me down...

It's been SO frustrating.  Every day that passes, I am reminded that odds are ever greater that we won't find anything before next year.  We've been looking for a YEAR now.  *sigh*  We could have built two - maybe three - houses by now!

I find myself spending lots of time on Pinterest and Houzz dreaming about what I can do once we actually have our own home again.  Too much time, if the truth be told.

I think I need to finally unpack those many boxes that I packed in anticipation of a move that never happened (can you believe that was FOUR months ago?  Yeah, me either).  Or, I need to unpack those boxes that actually hold items I need - like the bathroom box (you know, the one that holds all the Q-Tips that I couldn't be bothered to dig out) and, per a co-worker requesting some treats, the baking supplies box - and send the rest to reside in the attic.

I'm tired of looking.  I tired of thinking about it.  I'm tired of talking (and writing) about it.  I'm just tired of it all.  Not surprisingly, the Husband is also tired.  And, for that matter, so has Man-Child.  He has told me on more than one occasion that he doesn't want to hear about the hunt anymore.  I don't blame him one bit.  This hunt has literally taken on a life of it's own.  Seriously, how hard can it be to find a house that "speaks" to you?

Apparently, it's very hard.

Basically, I need to change my attitude toward our living arrangement.  I need to make peace with the fact that it is entirely possible that we will be here until next spring or beyond.  I need to quit dreaming about the future; particularly since I have no real idea what it may hold and live in the now.

Easier said than done.

But necessary.  I need to adjust my attitude and be happy that I have a nice place to live while we wait for our new home.  I need to decorate for fall.  And then again for Thanksgiving.  And then again for Christmas.  And again, if necessary, for Easter.

I think kicking all these boxes that surround me to curb will be the first step to changing my attitude.

Now...to find the energy to deal with the boxes...

Right about now I'm thinking they are just screwing with me....

I am truly thinking that the manufacturer of my contact lens solution is jerking me around.

The backstory (of course there is one, haven't you met me?)...

A few months ago, I got a new contact lens prescription.  And all was well with the world.  Until the contacts really started to bother me a few days in...so I called the eye doctor's office.  They informed me that these particular contacts really should be cleaned with Clear Care or another peroxide-based solution; particularly during allergy season (which for me is pretty much all year round).

So I did what any reasonable person would do...I went out and bought the recommended solution.  And all was well.

This particular solution states that you should discard the container with every new purchase as the little gray piece neutralizes the peroxide, which means that if you continually re-use the case eventually that little gray thing will quit neutralizing and you will be on the floor, writhing in pain one morning, when you insert a contact that is chock full of peroxide.

This was all fine and dandy as the first container had a blue side and a white side to denote which contact (left or right) went where.

The right contact goes in the blue side; the left goes in the white

For a severely near-sighted women who, for the record CANNOT see ANYTHING up close with her contacts in, this was a boon.

A BOON!

Because even though I couldn't see the teeny-tiny imprinted "R" on the blue side, I could differentiate blue from white.

And then every single subsequent buy netted me THIS...

For the most un-observant of you, yes...BOTH sides are white.  And?  To add insult to injury, the imprinted "R"?  It's also white.  Which means, I can't SEE which side is reserved for the right contact unless I remove one of my lenses and squint REALLY hard, all while juggling the fragile lens on the tip of one finger.  *sigh*

Does life really need to be THIS difficult?  Yes, I know... #firstworldproblems...but still.

Now, according to this press release, the blue and white case is the "new and improved" case.  I'm crossing my fingers that the suppliers hurry up and sell all of the old product so the "new and improved" version is more readily available - because right about now, I'm ready to chance the whole "writhing on the floor in pain" option.

Good news; bad news.

Let's start with the bad...only because I prefer to get the good news last, if for no other reason than to soothe the hurt from the bad...

Yesterday, I came flying into the kitchen yelling "There's a house for sale in THAT neighborhood!  AND it's in our range!"

On the high end, but still...

We immediately placed the phone call to set up an appointment.  As we've discovered, if a house in one of our desired neighborhoods is put up for sale, and is in our price range, they go fast; faster than a speeding bullet, you could say.

This morning we saw the house and both agreed this could be THE house.  We put an offer in fifteen minutes after leaving the showing.  And then the agony began.

I received the offer paperwork in my email within the hour. But for whatever reason, The Husband never did.  Eventually, the realtor just drove the paperwork over and informed us there was another offer on the table. *sigh* Of course there was...we signed the paperwork, sent her on her way and crossed our fingers.

We felt our chances were pretty good.  Our offer was decent.  We are pre-qualified.  We are in a month to month lease so there isn't a sale contingency - in sum, we could close almost immediately.

And then we received the call...we didn't get it.  The other offer was not only for full price, but was in cash!

Cash!

Who in the hell has that much cash on hand?!

How can we compete with that?  We can't.

So, once again, we are back to square one.  I've gotta tell you, I'm pretty sick of square one right about now.

Now for the good news...

For the past few weeks I have been really struggling.  My personal email app automatically updated and threw my life into a tailspin.  It was the whole Yahoo debacle all over again (minus the whole "MY EYE! MY EYE! piece - thank God!).

I was receiving email on the phone, but I wasn't receiving notifications.  And, as you know, what good is having a smart phone if it isn't going to give you notifications?  Yeah, it's worthless.

I was Googling like crazy but just wasn't getting the answers I needed.  Because, apparently, Google requires you to put the words together in JUST the right order.  Today, magic happened and I was able to string the words together JUST right...and JUST like that my ordeal was over.

So in sum, we don't have a house BUT I have email...it's not perfect, but I'll take it.

Just making lemonade over here out of all these damn lemons...

A recipe post from a woman who doesn't cook

A couple of weekends ago we went to the local Greek festival and because I'm me, I didn't get ANY pictures, but we had a great time.  We enjoyed the dancing (the littles were SO cute and the others were AMAZING!) and we had to check out the food.

Man-Child was all about the desserts, I can't even remember all of the goodies that we brought home.  But the one thing that was intriguing to me was the Spanakopita (spinach pie).  That was the one item I couldn't wait to try.

Now, before we go further there is something you need to know about me.  Spinach and I have a love/hate relationship.

As in I simply CANNOT stand spinach if it is steamed (or whatever) and slopped on a plate.  Oh sure, I'll eat it but I won't enjoy it.  BUT, if that very same vegetable is chopped and placed into something else, well then?  Then it becomes AMAZING.

In fact, the Spinach Artichoke souffle that Panera's offers is something I could eat every single day, no lie.

And, as per usual, once I got my hands on the Spanakopita I was in heaven.  So much so that I had to source a recipe and figure out how to make this heavenly delight.  Many long time readers know, I don't cook.  Yeah, I'll bake on occasion but cook?  Food?  For people to consume?  SOOOO not my thing.  In fact, I've actually been asked NOT to cook for my family, true story (Although, now that I think about it, technically this could be considered baking but since it involves chopping, sauteeing AND a vegetable, I'm calling it cooking).

I followed this recipe - minus the parsley because we didn't have any on hand.  Although, I almost added cilantro by mistake (which proves my point about why I don't cook); which almost certainly would have ruined the recipe.

Now, as a non-cook I can say this is a pretty easy dish...IF you think it through enough to thaw the frozen spinach beforehand (which pretty much tells you I did not).  Yes, I found myself spending an inordinate amount of time running cold water over the spinach.  But, in the end, it was all worth it because it was DELICIOUS!

And how do I know (other than my own tastebuds singing after trying it)?  Because The Husband aka The Chef raved about it when he tried it.  AND?  He ate it cold and still enjoyed it.

I'm going to have to watch myself.  God knows, I don't want to become known as a cook.

Yeah, I know...not the best picture.  But believe me, it was delicious!

10,000 Q-Tips....

A couple of weekends ago, I found myself in Target (a place I often find myself at least once on any given weekend) when I remembered I needed Q-Tips.

Not a huge deal.  But, as I was pondering the many Q-Tip offerings I realized...that somewhere at home; packed away in the myriad of boxes that I navigate on a daily basis since our recent home-buying debacle, is a fairly new box of Q-Tips.  The myriad of boxes I have refused to unpack in the hopes that the perfect home would miraculously land in our laps.

At the time, I pondered my options.  I COULD buy the smallest box of Q-Tips to get myself through...OR I could dig through the boxes (meticulously labeled, of course.  Those first few boxes that are packed are ALWAYS meticulously labeled...it's those later boxes that end up biting you in the butt; those are the ones that end up un-labeled and containing all kinds of random stuff.  Kitchenware thrown in with pairs of shoes and whatnot).  At the time I did NOT want to dig through boxes so I ended up buying the smallest box...which, in case you are wondering, was about 300 Q-Tips....(really?? That's the smallest offering you have when it comes to Q-Tips?)

No, it wasn't a lot of money, but still...do you know how long it will take me to go through 300 Q-Tips?

At least a year.

Fast forward to today.  The day that I have decided that I must unpack a good portion of these boxes (because seriously??  I honestly don't think we are going to find anything worth buying before next spring at this point AND I'm thoroughly sick of having my home decor scream "A HOARDER lives here!!").  Where I then realized that the last time I bought Q-Tips (prior to the above mentioned trip to Target) I bought the largest box available at the time...thinking that if I did so, I wouldn't have to buy Q-Tips for a good, long time.

Ha-ha.  The joke's on me.

I'm about to have more Q-Tips than I can possibly need for the next 20 years.

And, yes, we are still in limbo...hoping for that perfect house to pop up.  Or the perfect lot and the Husband's desire to build to surge to the forefront.  Yes, I still think that is the best way to go.  And no, he's still not there yet.

In the meantime, do I unpack these boxes or do I just send the ones I haven't been digging through for the past three plus months to Goodwill?  Because honestly?  If I haven't needed anything from them in over three months, odds are good I don't need it.  But on second thought, the last move resulted in lots of "missing" items.  Items which were probably shipped off to Goodwill during a manic "If I haven't used it in X amount of months, I don't need it" phase.  Which CAN be a good thing until you realize that you've gotten rid of your very favorite pan on which to bake cookies at Christmas time.

I need a house y'all...this limbo is killing me, the boxes are killing me, and the 10,000 Q-Tips are silently mocking me.

Q-Tips...it's all come down to a post about Q-Tips.  *sigh*

Beach bound

Currently, I have THREE posts in my drafts folder (not counting this one) which, for whatever reason, I just cannot seem to push the PUBLISH button on...something must be wrong with me...

Which is why I am happy to declare that as of tomorrow, Man-Child and I are headed to the beach for a long weekend.  And?  This is something I SO desperately need.  Life has been insane, disheartening and pretty much lopsided for a while now.  Between the house hunt (seriously? SERIOUSLY?!  If you would have told me TEN MONTHS ago that we would STILL be looking, I would have thought you were crazy), the whole "transition" thing (which, honestly?  I KNEW would be hard but didn't think it would be THIS hard), which at this point I seriously believe it will be at LEAST two years before everything shakes out and we know what is what; and everything else that life has thrown at us lately....well, let's just say that I NEED this time to contemplate the waves and relish in the one on one time with my boy.

Hmmm....in that one paragraph, I was able to sum up those other three drafts.  Maybe I should just delete them and have one less thing hanging over my head?

MC and I have tried hard over the years to spend some one on one time together every year.  Since he's been in college that has been kind of hard as he tries to work over the summer to rack up as much cash as he can.  This past summer found him interning (unpaid) for one of the local college football teams (which we whole-heartedly encouraged him to do.  Since his major is in Physical Education this will look SO good on his resume) AND working as many hours as he could for the company that hired him last year. And then he went scurrying back to his school home early, because he had landed a job up there.

Finally, I put my foot down and said "ENOUGH!"  We need to take this time.  He needs a break and I definitely need a break.

So tomorrow, after he skips his last class (not my idea, by the way) and he makes his way home, we will be headed off to the beach for two...maybe three, days of pure relaxation. We will eat FAR too much, because this boy of mine demands meals every three to four hours (who else eats this way, other than growing boys?). we will laugh, at times we will argue (we always do), we will play miniature golf and most of all, we will spend time with each other.

Something I think we both could use right about now.

And...I'm hitting PUBLISH before I think too much about it. *dusts hands* One less thing to think about.