October 11, 2010

If you've wondered where I've been - I've been thinking (it happens occasionally)

Yes, I realize it's been a while since I last posted.  And thank you for the inquiries - I'm fine.  Promise.

I've just been in a quiet mood.  An introspective mood, if you will.  Shocking, I know.  But then again stranger things happen every day.

I read something the other day that has apparently struck a chord in me as I am still thinking about it days later - instead of having it fall through one of the many cracks in my memory, as so many other things do so very often.

Of course, when I read it I didn't have pen on me to copy it down - or even my trusty phone to take a picture of it so I could decipher it later.  So I've had to rely on my faulty brain to try and remember the gist of it.

Basically, it said something along the lines of not mourning what was - but realizing that was not the path you were meant to be on anymore.

That helped me to realize that despite my chatter about change being a good thing (at least in relation to the change ups at the office) that I have been very resistant to the change that has taken place in my own house since Hubby lost his job.

At first - while very angry about the way it happened - I seemed to be okay with it.  I knew that his former place of employment was toxic and unhealthy for him.  I knew how unhappy he'd been there.  So I was of the opinion that his being let go would be a "good thing."

Then the months dragged on and prospects were dim.  I knew that none of this was his fault.  It wasn't his fault he was let go.  It wasn't his fault there were no jobs to be found.  It wasn't his fault the economy had taken a nose dive.

But I had become resentful and angry - not at him (though it probably seemed that way to him) but at the situation.  I wanted that security back.

Then Hubby began to talk about starting a business.  Although the plan is a good one - the idea terrified me (still does).  This is NOT the time to take that kind of gamble - that was my first thought.

But after reading that passage - which I'm still convinced I haven't conveyed properly - I have begun to realize that maybe now is the time to take that gamble.  And that maybe this is the path we are meant to be on right now.  And though it is a risk - what do we have to lose?  We may have to make some changes to accommodate for it.  But this is where we are and I need to accept it and see where it takes us.

I remember when we first moved to North Carolina - neither of us had jobs.  And I wasn't worried.  Because this was a change I had wanted to make.  So I figured it would all work out in the end.  And it did.

So, now I'm trying to adopt that same carefree attitude I had back then.  And you know what?  Already, I feel better.

20 comments:

  1. Yikes!

    That kind of change IS scary! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

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  2. Oh, that is a very scary change. As the wife of a business owner I have reservations about it, but our experience will not necessarily be yours. Good luck.

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  3. Sometimes movement is needed...action towards a goal. It is so much better than sitting around just wandering. I suspect this may be a good move.

    Good luck.....naw, you guys will make your own luck.

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  4. My best friend when through this years ago and now I bet she is very glad her husband started his own business.....especially since they now have a Very Wonderfufl Life because of that decision.

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  5. Gigi, I'm so glad to hear you have peace about this. I'm sure it is scary. All change is scary. You will never know what can be until you try. Give it your very best shot and you will be satisfied with the result, success or failure. I believe it was Wayne Gretzky who said, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."

    Good luck to you both!

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  6. Yep I#m usually only good with change I make xxx Good luck xxx

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  7. Change is always hard on someone, and change that happens in spite of what you want is even harder. You make that point well, and I hope this venture will be a good one for both of you. Hugs as you take this step into a new future.

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  8. Scary indeed but youre so right - sometimes you just have to go for it. But I think until you're ready to feel that way then its hard to accept the change forced upon you. Good luck and will be keeping my fingers crossed for you! xxx

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  9. I'm trying to catch up with blogs at the mo, hope your well x

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  10. Oh, honey....I'm loving your thoughts on this! And you know I'm agreeing (see my head bobbing?) with everything you've said.

    You always hear these people telling these kinds of stories...in retrospect...and how the timing made it somehow feel right. I think this is your gut talking...and it's telling you that this is the road to take.

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  11. Very smart! And I'm a big proponent of the "Everything happens for a reason." Yes, it's cliche, but it's also true when you look back on the paths we take in life.

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  12. wow! What a great attitude to have. I've never been one who doesn't like change. I always tell my kids, "Things change. For better or worse, they ALWAYS change, and it's how you get through those changes that matter."

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  13. A positive outlook brings positive outcomes. Corny..but I believe it. Sending happy thoughts your way.

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  14. You are right to try and accept the things we can not change. The problem is that it is easier said then done:) I have a feeling you are one strong Mama and the road ahead will be exciting and wonderful. I find in my life, sometimes it's all how you look at it:)

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  15. Best of luck to you! When you're in it together - makes all the difference!

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  16. Sorry I didn't notice you'd posted this when you did.....I thought you must be thinking.
    Yes go with it....your husband wants it and I'm sure it will make him happy which has a knock on effect. I bet it is a huge worry but exciting too?
    Take care. xx

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  17. OOOh, struck a cord! I am feeling very resentful of the move, even though it's almost a year later... I know there are some thing s I need to let go of, I jsut haven't yet. I am so sick of feeling scared about money- I've never felt this before in my life. It's awful.

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  18. I definitely believe in taking risks - I'd hate to live my life always playing it safe - you just never know what could've been.

    Good luck and keep positive x

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