You know, every once in a while I want to tell you about some of the family drama going on (no, not my immediate, little family; they are always fair game - but stuff that goes on in the bigger family) and then I think, "But if I tell them this then I'll have to explain that and that and that and that and THAT." And so on and so on and so on.....
And then I get tired and decide to leave well enough alone. Because as one friend once said to me - "Wait. Let me write this all down so I can get it straight" as I was trying to explain a particularly difficult and complex situation.
Yup, that's me. The one with a majorly dysfunctional family. As the same friend also mentioned - if I ever get it all down onto paper I will have a major best-seller and/or soap opera on my hands. Unfortunately, my brain doesn't remember a majority of it and, since I neglected to actually keep a record of it all, it's mostly gone.
At any rate, my father has to have a bypass. I got the news on Saturday. Yup, the day before Father's Day. Fun. THAT makes for lighthearted conversation on Father's Day - let me tell you.
He, of course, acts like it's no big deal and he will be home in two days.
Yes, with the miracles of modern medicine, a bypass probably isn't that big of a deal anymore, especially considering that MD Anderson is right there and it's totally possible he will be home in two days....but the thing is...he isn't going to his home. And, it's MY Dad and not just a statistic.
Apparently, his wife (who has a very severe lung disease and needs to be on oxygen treatments constantly) has kicked him out.
He, of course, acts like this isn't a big deal either. I mean really? At the age of 70 or so - who HAS this kind of drama?? I'm thinking if I hit my 70's, my life better pretty darn routine without any hiccups like that coming along out of nowhere.
From what I've been told - which is precious little - he is staying with his daughter and son-law. And, according to him (and the daughter in-law) she is in a snit and because she isn't getting enough oxygen to her brain is a tad unreasonable right now and has reached a point where she can't care for him anymore; which is funny because I thought he was caring for her at this point.
And, of course, no one bothered to tell me any of this while it was happening. No, they wait until I call my dad (at his house) to wish him a happy birthday a month or so ago. Whereupon I am informed that he no longer lives there and will NEVER live there again. Another fun conversation.
Anyway, back to the present. Dad acts like everything is fine - the bypass is no big deal - and to not even think about trying to come. THEN my son gets a message from the daughter in-law on FaceBook. Since he isn't as locked down as I am, he was the only one she was able to find.
She is asking him to see if there is any way I CAN come.
Apparently, the week of the surgery coincides with their son's wedding. And, if I can't come, can I contact my brother (who fell of the face of the earth - at least when it comes to me - when my mother died 12 years ago-see why this gets complicated?) and see if he can help. Because, apparently, even though he lives "down the road a piece" (Texas-speak for about 15-20 minutes away) no one can seem to reach him.
This, of course, throws me into a total panic. Because, with our situation at the moment, there is no way in hell that I can get to Texas and just how in the hell am I supposed to contact my brother (who, according to Dad - the only person with any contact with him AT ALL - has moved and his phone has been disconnected)?
I turn to the all-mighty power that is the Internet. Namely, FaceBook. Despite the fact that his name is a very common one, I am able to run him down fairly quickly. I sent him a private message and waited.
I finally got a response that he would "take care of it" (but really?? Can I trust him to "take care of it"? I've trusted him to do so before with miserable results). So we shall see. Maybe age has graced him with some responsibility....which somehow, I doubt.
Now to the reason for this post. FaceBook continues to irritate me. Yes, yes....it has supposedly helped in an emergency-situation but do you know what I read on long lost brother's page?
"Just got a message from my sister I haven't talked to in 12 years...."
And tell me, brother-dear, just WHOSE fault is it that we haven't talked in 12 years???!!!! I know, I know. I shouldn't jump the gun. But I HAVE left the door open. I have sent him a Christmas card every damn year - WITH our current address and everything. Sometimes I even include phone numbers and email addresses. Never a word. In fact, it turns out that the address I was sending the cards to WASN'T EVEN HIS! It was our cousin's though - so, at least the card was getting passed on. But he couldn't even be bothered to tell me what his correct address might be.
The only news I get about him is from Dad - who would hear from him once in a blue moon. And, in fact, the last time I was home, he KNEW I was there but never once came by - despite the fact that he lived "down the road a piece." In fact, from what Dad was telling me, he saw my brother MAYBE once a year, if that. The man has distanced himself from his whole family.
But despite the urge, I didn't say a word about it. I kept it civil. I gave him my email and cell number and told him to keep me updated. Will that happen? We shall see.
And this is why you only get bits and pieces. Because if I had to go into this much detail (still leaving out major bits, I know) just to tell you my dad needs surgery, can you only imagine what it must be like to be living it? And there's the fact that it took me a week to compose this post (a WEEK! It never takes this long!). Now? Now, I'm exhausted. And I need a drink. *sigh*