The other morning something happened that really made me upset at my husband. I didn't mention it because we were in the midst of the usual morning madness. Plus, I really didn't want to discuss the issue in front of Man-Child.
Apparently, Hubby picked up on the fact that I was upset (he does get points for that - because usually he's kinda dense in this area) because he called me at work after he dropped Man-Child off at school. I told him that yes I was upset - but that I couldn't talk about it then. I work in a cube farm - there is no way I'm about to have a personal conversation regarding the fact that at that very moment I was envisioning the various ways I could maim my husband when there are
Throughout the morning, the more I thought about it the more upset I found myself. I even threw in some other small issues that had been bothering me to stoke the fire.
Apparently, the fact that I was upset was really weighing on Hubby's mind - because he called back later in the morning to see if I wanted to have lunch (he gets extra points for taking it a step further to try and rectify the issue). By now, my feelings were running very high. I told him no. I figured that I surely didn't want to have lunch with this horrible, no good man in a public forum.
The more I stewed over this issue - the hotter I got. By the time I came home, I was spitting nails and ready to move out. IT WAS OVER! How DARE he treat me this way.
And you know what happened then? We talked about it. I discovered that he didn't do what I thought he had. He was an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire.
The problem? By now, I had worked myself into such a state that even though the "issue" was dead in the water - I was still angry.
I ended up going to bed early - hoping to sleep it off. It worked.
The moral of the story? Don't let the little things simmer - because eventually they will boil over.
We will have been married 20 years in January. How many more times/years will I have to repeat this little nugget of wisdom to myself before it finally sinks in?
Talking and listening to each other is so very important. I'm glad things are better today.
ReplyDeleteAt the first phone call my husband would have been forgiven. . .
ReplyDeleteMine doesn't even notice that I'm upset!
Mine very seldom knows when I am upset. That is one thing about him that really bugs me!! Glad you worked it out. I think anyone that lives together has problems from time to time!!
ReplyDelete...and I fear it gets worse as one ages...the creating of a hurricane from a blowing fan. One has to practice non-consuming oneself. And you got it right -- you have to sit and talk about it.
ReplyDeleteYup to this. I try to talk it out because I find it's worse when I keep stuff in.
ReplyDeleteI felt like I was reliving something reading this. As soon as I let something fester without addressing it, it gets bigger and bigger in my head also. How lucky we are to have men in our lives who push us to talk about things and get them out in the open.
ReplyDeleteNo, you aren't the only one. LOL! I call it marinating on mental mess. Girrrrl, it'll make you bald headed! I'm working on a book now titled, If Minds Could Talk....
ReplyDeleteOh you are not alone. I have learned not to hang on to anything. I am a OVER communicator. Uhhh that can back fire too:) Hugs!
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to go through that horrible day....so glad it was all okay in the end. XX
ReplyDeleteYou are so wise.
ReplyDeleteBut, see, I'm the opposite. I tend to shoot off my mouth without getting any distance between myself and the situation. I really need to do that more often. Lately, anyway, it's been causing me to say "sorry" all too often.