I see that a bunch of you are doing "A year in review" type posts. And, while I'm happy to read (and possibly comment on - sorry, I've been really lax in that department lately) them - I am not doing one, per se.
Mainly because 2012 (and 2011) were extremely tough for us. In those years, Hubby lost his job. Man-Child got his license and begin to terrify us over and over again with his predilection for wrecking his car. He was also injured, more than once, I might add, whilst on the field. Man-Child graduated high school and moved off to college. And as we struggled with that adjustment we continued to struggle with the unemployment issue.
Basically, they sucked.
Oh sure, there were some good moments thrown in the mix - there always is - and I do try to remember those moments. But, unfortunately, I have a feeling that, in the future, when I look back on these particular years, those will be the moments I remember the most.
So here we are - with 2013 just hours away. And boy, oh boy, am I ready for it.
I'm almost ready to get back to work on the 2nd. Hubby starts as a full-time employee at his new job on the 2nd. Man-Child will head back to college soon (along with his laundry) - secure in the knowledge that he has gotten the hang of the whole "college thing" - as reflected by his grades from the previous semester (can you say, Dean's List? Yes, just a bit of mom-bragging; I think it's warranted here).
Picking up on the organizing/cleaning frenzy that occurred around Thanksgiving, I decided that I wanted to kick this new year off with a clean slate - literally. Of course, I decided that yesterday - instead of say, oh....a week ago? Needless to say, I'm a bit behind. But over the past two days, I have cleaned most of the bottom half of the house - top to bottom. After the Thanksgiving frenzy, the majority of the top half is mostly spotless. I figure that I can knock out the rest of it tomorrow and the 2nd will dawn, not only with hope on the horizon, but also with that clean slate I have been looking for; with a bit of exhaustion thrown in for good measure.
Upon some reflection, I realize that I pretty much checked out in 2012 (and 2011) and can only attribute it to depression. Not the kind that medication and therapy would help though. I think this was more situational (yes; that IS a word - quit underlining it, Blogger!). I didn't feel the need/want to do anything. And now that life seems to be getting back on track, I feel more inclined to participate in life again - even if it is just cleaning at the moment.
Although I don't "do" resolutions - mainly because I tend to break them within the first few days - I'm hoping that during this new year I can get back to where I was - emotionally - before life took a great, big U-turn. That Hubby can finally quit his hoarding/hiding clutter tendencies (particularly since I just found a bunch of new clutter in the closet that I've just recently cleaned out - which means that just got added to the list of what needs to be done tomorrow) once and for all. That I can find the "happy" again in every day life. That it will be a fresh start. Basically, all I'm saying is that I'm actually looking forward to this new year.
And while I'm at it, here's wishing you a very happy New Year. I hope that it brings you all peace, joy and love.
xo
December 31, 2012
December 27, 2012
The Endless Vacation.....
I have been on vacation since the 19th. And I don't go back until the 2nd.
Considering this you would think I would have been a *bit* more productive of late. Seeing as the house looks like a dusty, clutter bomb went off, it is obvious that I haven't been very productive.
So what have I been doing, other than avoiding any and all housekeeping duties?
Well, after the Christmas morning extravaganza, Man-Child and I decided to go to the movies. Since our traditions have veered off course, we decided to do something different. Hubby went searching for an open Starbucks, store or anything (just to get out of the house, because God forbid should he enter a movie theater) and we headed off to the theater; figuring no one would be there because surely everyone else had plans....silly us. The place was PACKED. They actually had people with tickets for various movies roped off in groups until the theaters were "ready" (smart Hubby). Apparently, everyone else in town needed to get out of the house too.
Our initial plan to see Parental Guidance. This hope was quickly dashed since the show was sold out. We settled for our second choice, Guilt Trip. It was cute. I thought it could have been funnier - but it was a fun outing. Immediately after watching it, I looked at Man-Child and told him that we need to take a road trip. He sighed. But I could tell that he was interested. It would be fun.
And we have made plans to see Parental Guidance before he goes back to school.
The day after Christmas dawned....well, not really. It was POURING. And continued to pour for the rest of the morning. I had planned on tackling the dusty, clutter-bombed house until a brilliant idea occurred to me. With the weather being as nasty as it was, I figured no one else would be out and about returning stuff/searching for deals.
I happy to report, I was correct. No one was out and about. So I was able to return the drill - with a *gasp* CORD that I had bought for Hubby (I mean, really, I was shocked to discover that they still sell drills with cords; aren't they ALL battery operated now?) and the pants that were far too big for him (he was pleased with that discovery though) without standing in any lines. I didn't snag any deals though. But I DID get soaking wet.
I've also spent some time reading, of course. While showing Hubby around MC's school during a visit recently, I spotted a box in the book store that said "FREE BOOKS" and snagged a couple - well, if the truth be told, Hubby had to restrain me from just taking the whole box... It turns out that these were advance copies, so the store had to give them away. I have informed MC that he must check the store daily for me. One of the books I snagged was Wise Young Fools by Sean Beaudoin. It's technically considered Young Adult Literature, but I've got to say this was a very well written book - even for the ancient, like me. This book is slated for publication in August 2013. I read it in under two days. So if you are looking for an easy read that sucks you in, this book might be for you.
I've also had a conversation with MC, totally NOT initiated by me, that found me hearing, "I'm SO glad you sent me to XYZ school. I have a feeling if I'd gone to ABC school, I wouldn't be so prepared for college." And....wait for it......
"You and Dad are great parents."
I almost wrecked the car due to the tears that were overwhelming me.
This kid is AMAZING (how we got so lucky, I'll never know). And I told him so. He has no idea, I hope, how hard it was for us to keep him in that school - particularly with the extended unemployment. To know that he appreciates it? Priceless.
Today found me scouring a local shopping center - desperate to spend a gift card. Can you believe I actually walked out without spending a dime? Well, it's true. Apparently, all the buyers at every store I visited, have NO taste whatsoever. Or, they don't have MY taste. Same thing. Even at the shoe store! There was nothing that caught my eye. I was sorely disappointed.
Tomorrow is calling for more gray/rainy weather and I have resolved to do something about this house. I even made a list! But if the feeling of inertia that has overtaken me this evening is any indication, I have a feeling I might blow that list off...again.
But then, what is vacation for if not to blow off housework and/or those projects that I'd planned?
Considering this you would think I would have been a *bit* more productive of late. Seeing as the house looks like a dusty, clutter bomb went off, it is obvious that I haven't been very productive.
So what have I been doing, other than avoiding any and all housekeeping duties?
Well, after the Christmas morning extravaganza, Man-Child and I decided to go to the movies. Since our traditions have veered off course, we decided to do something different. Hubby went searching for an open Starbucks, store or anything (just to get out of the house, because God forbid should he enter a movie theater) and we headed off to the theater; figuring no one would be there because surely everyone else had plans....silly us. The place was PACKED. They actually had people with tickets for various movies roped off in groups until the theaters were "ready" (smart Hubby). Apparently, everyone else in town needed to get out of the house too.
Our initial plan to see Parental Guidance. This hope was quickly dashed since the show was sold out. We settled for our second choice, Guilt Trip. It was cute. I thought it could have been funnier - but it was a fun outing. Immediately after watching it, I looked at Man-Child and told him that we need to take a road trip. He sighed. But I could tell that he was interested. It would be fun.
And we have made plans to see Parental Guidance before he goes back to school.
The day after Christmas dawned....well, not really. It was POURING. And continued to pour for the rest of the morning. I had planned on tackling the dusty, clutter-bombed house until a brilliant idea occurred to me. With the weather being as nasty as it was, I figured no one else would be out and about returning stuff/searching for deals.
I happy to report, I was correct. No one was out and about. So I was able to return the drill - with a *gasp* CORD that I had bought for Hubby (I mean, really, I was shocked to discover that they still sell drills with cords; aren't they ALL battery operated now?) and the pants that were far too big for him (he was pleased with that discovery though) without standing in any lines. I didn't snag any deals though. But I DID get soaking wet.
I've also spent some time reading, of course. While showing Hubby around MC's school during a visit recently, I spotted a box in the book store that said "FREE BOOKS" and snagged a couple - well, if the truth be told, Hubby had to restrain me from just taking the whole box... It turns out that these were advance copies, so the store had to give them away. I have informed MC that he must check the store daily for me. One of the books I snagged was Wise Young Fools by Sean Beaudoin. It's technically considered Young Adult Literature, but I've got to say this was a very well written book - even for the ancient, like me. This book is slated for publication in August 2013. I read it in under two days. So if you are looking for an easy read that sucks you in, this book might be for you.
I've also had a conversation with MC, totally NOT initiated by me, that found me hearing, "I'm SO glad you sent me to XYZ school. I have a feeling if I'd gone to ABC school, I wouldn't be so prepared for college." And....wait for it......
"You and Dad are great parents."
I almost wrecked the car due to the tears that were overwhelming me.
This kid is AMAZING (how we got so lucky, I'll never know). And I told him so. He has no idea, I hope, how hard it was for us to keep him in that school - particularly with the extended unemployment. To know that he appreciates it? Priceless.
Today found me scouring a local shopping center - desperate to spend a gift card. Can you believe I actually walked out without spending a dime? Well, it's true. Apparently, all the buyers at every store I visited, have NO taste whatsoever. Or, they don't have MY taste. Same thing. Even at the shoe store! There was nothing that caught my eye. I was sorely disappointed.
Tomorrow is calling for more gray/rainy weather and I have resolved to do something about this house. I even made a list! But if the feeling of inertia that has overtaken me this evening is any indication, I have a feeling I might blow that list off...again.
But then, what is vacation for if not to blow off housework and/or those projects that I'd planned?
December 24, 2012
Merry Christmas to you and yours from our little family!
It's been a very non-traditional Christmas Eve. I'm trying to remember what most Christmas Eve's have been like in our home and have realized that these past few years haven't been traditional.
In the past, we've always had friends over for a seafood feast (an Italian tradition that Hubby insists on; and I don't complain - I LOVE shellfish). But since the friends we used to have over have since divorced, that kind of fell by the wayside, since we can't invite one and not the other. Which makes for a peaceful, if not kind of lonely, Christmas Eve.
Since Man-Child isn't a small anymore, we don't do the Christmas cookies and milk thing anymore either. Although I continue to tell him "You must believe, in order to receive." So, he grudgingly goes along and, miracle of miracles, Santa continues to bring him a stocking every year. Funny how that happens.
Instead of the traditional seafood feast, tonight Hubby made a baked clam appetizer and we ordered in Chinese. Instead of the traditional baking frenzy that would have happened over the past week, I made one batch of spritz cookies today. I now remember why I rarely make them; although they are delicious, they are kind of a pain and they make one heck of a mess of the kitchen....and I think I may have butter in my hair now.
Currently, we are squirreled away in different rooms - Hubby asleep in his chair, Man-Child in his room watching Men In Black III and me, tucked away in my room tippity-tapping away while listening to Christmas carols.
Although the traditions are changing; evolving even; so are we and I'm okay with it.
But one tradition that won't change? In a few minutes I will be watching It's A Wonderful Life....all by myself by the fire. Since apparently neither of my guys can bear it. Man-Child will sigh in disgust and walk away. Hubby will gamely attempt to watch and then promptly fall (back) asleep. And I will watch, cry a little at the sappiest parts, and be content.
Merry Christmas to you all, my friends.
May your holidays be filled with love and laughter and may 2013 be all that you need it to be.
Much love,
In the past, we've always had friends over for a seafood feast (an Italian tradition that Hubby insists on; and I don't complain - I LOVE shellfish). But since the friends we used to have over have since divorced, that kind of fell by the wayside, since we can't invite one and not the other. Which makes for a peaceful, if not kind of lonely, Christmas Eve.
Since Man-Child isn't a small anymore, we don't do the Christmas cookies and milk thing anymore either. Although I continue to tell him "You must believe, in order to receive." So, he grudgingly goes along and, miracle of miracles, Santa continues to bring him a stocking every year. Funny how that happens.
 |
| MC opening his Christmas pajamas |
Instead of the traditional seafood feast, tonight Hubby made a baked clam appetizer and we ordered in Chinese. Instead of the traditional baking frenzy that would have happened over the past week, I made one batch of spritz cookies today. I now remember why I rarely make them; although they are delicious, they are kind of a pain and they make one heck of a mess of the kitchen....and I think I may have butter in my hair now.
Currently, we are squirreled away in different rooms - Hubby asleep in his chair, Man-Child in his room watching Men In Black III and me, tucked away in my room tippity-tapping away while listening to Christmas carols.
Although the traditions are changing; evolving even; so are we and I'm okay with it.
But one tradition that won't change? In a few minutes I will be watching It's A Wonderful Life....all by myself by the fire. Since apparently neither of my guys can bear it. Man-Child will sigh in disgust and walk away. Hubby will gamely attempt to watch and then promptly fall (back) asleep. And I will watch, cry a little at the sappiest parts, and be content.
Merry Christmas to you all, my friends.
 |
| He'll kill me if he ever finds this one online..... |
May your holidays be filled with love and laughter and may 2013 be all that you need it to be.
Much love,
December 22, 2012
The best Christmas present EVER!
On Thursday, Hubby came home and handed me an envelope and said, "Read this."
To be honest, after everything that's been going on around here, I was almost afraid to read it. But when I did, I almost exploded.
It was a job offer. An honest, to goodness, REAL job offer. Finally. After two and a half, long, long, LONG years.
Sure, it's less than he had been making at his previous job; but it's more than he's made in the past two and a half, long, long, LONG years! Yes, we still have a long road ahead of us to crawl out of this hole we are in; but we now have the means to begin to move forward.
This company has been voted (by its employees) as one of the best places to work in our area. Hubby has spent the last two months working there as a part-time, temporary and loves it. So we are looking forward to an easy transition.
The look of pure joy on Man-Child's face when he came home and heard the news made tears well up. He has been so concerned - and hasn't hid it well.
So despite all the gloom (Newtown is still weighing heavy on my heart and mind; and there are other issues outside our little family that are giving me grief) I can honestly say that I am once again looking toward the future with a bit of optimism and a spring in my step.
Thank you all for your support, letting me moan, etc. I don't think I could have made it through without you. You gave me a place to come and cry, yell and stamp my feet whenever I needed it. You've left comments of support and love. And that, to me, is priceless.
I wish each and everyone of you a blessed Christmas with much love and hope that 2013 is the year that all your dreams come true.
xo
To be honest, after everything that's been going on around here, I was almost afraid to read it. But when I did, I almost exploded.
It was a job offer. An honest, to goodness, REAL job offer. Finally. After two and a half, long, long, LONG years.
Sure, it's less than he had been making at his previous job; but it's more than he's made in the past two and a half, long, long, LONG years! Yes, we still have a long road ahead of us to crawl out of this hole we are in; but we now have the means to begin to move forward.
This company has been voted (by its employees) as one of the best places to work in our area. Hubby has spent the last two months working there as a part-time, temporary and loves it. So we are looking forward to an easy transition.
The look of pure joy on Man-Child's face when he came home and heard the news made tears well up. He has been so concerned - and hasn't hid it well.
So despite all the gloom (Newtown is still weighing heavy on my heart and mind; and there are other issues outside our little family that are giving me grief) I can honestly say that I am once again looking toward the future with a bit of optimism and a spring in my step.
Thank you all for your support, letting me moan, etc. I don't think I could have made it through without you. You gave me a place to come and cry, yell and stamp my feet whenever I needed it. You've left comments of support and love. And that, to me, is priceless.
I wish each and everyone of you a blessed Christmas with much love and hope that 2013 is the year that all your dreams come true.
xo
December 17, 2012
Letters....
I received an honest to goodness old fashioned letter today; THREE pages long!
Needless to say, seeing that handwritten envelope lying among the junk mail and the bills made me smile. Oh sure, there were a few Christmas cards thrown in the mix, but in addition to the cheer that those cards bring; they also have the air of "just another Christmas chore to complete" about them - but that letter stood out, a true beacon of "I'm thinking of you and taking the time to let you know."
Now granted, the letter itself contained some distressing and sad news, as the sender informed me that she is having a difficult time of late - but it still cheered me in a small way. Mainly, because I don't receive letters very often these days.
In the letter, the sender reminded me that when I was young we used to exchange letters on a very regular basis. She is trying very hard to instill this in her young grandchild - but it hasn't taken. I think, mainly, because her grandchild is so young.
But that line in her letter brought back so many vivid memories. I LOVED receiving mail when I was small. I would write to everyone I could think of - and my mother indulged me by sending them every single time (I had forgotten this and am glad to have that memory of her). And while some would write back occasionally, she ALWAYS wrote back. Every single time.
I think because of her, that is where I developed my obsession with stationery. I love to have beautiful stationery - even though I don't write so many letters these days, what with email and all (which is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong. But a letter? Oh, that is SO much better).
But I have a feeling that she and I are about to re-kindle our letter writing. It really is becoming a lost art; along with cursive writing; both of which should definitely be preserved (not to mention, saving the postal service, which is in dire straits).
And you know, there is nothing like the feeling of seeing that handwritten letter piled amongst all the other detritus the post office delivers. The anticipation of what is inside. It's a delicious feeling, actually. One in which you want to cut your husband's rant short and sneak off to a private place to read, and savor, it. (Which is actually what I did as quickly as I could without being totally rude)
So what about you - when was the last time you sent, or received, an actual letter? Do you miss them as much as I do?
And that letter? Sad news and all, it is going into the keepsake box, as a testament to simpler times.
Needless to say, seeing that handwritten envelope lying among the junk mail and the bills made me smile. Oh sure, there were a few Christmas cards thrown in the mix, but in addition to the cheer that those cards bring; they also have the air of "just another Christmas chore to complete" about them - but that letter stood out, a true beacon of "I'm thinking of you and taking the time to let you know."
Now granted, the letter itself contained some distressing and sad news, as the sender informed me that she is having a difficult time of late - but it still cheered me in a small way. Mainly, because I don't receive letters very often these days.
In the letter, the sender reminded me that when I was young we used to exchange letters on a very regular basis. She is trying very hard to instill this in her young grandchild - but it hasn't taken. I think, mainly, because her grandchild is so young.
But that line in her letter brought back so many vivid memories. I LOVED receiving mail when I was small. I would write to everyone I could think of - and my mother indulged me by sending them every single time (I had forgotten this and am glad to have that memory of her). And while some would write back occasionally, she ALWAYS wrote back. Every single time.
I think because of her, that is where I developed my obsession with stationery. I love to have beautiful stationery - even though I don't write so many letters these days, what with email and all (which is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong. But a letter? Oh, that is SO much better).
But I have a feeling that she and I are about to re-kindle our letter writing. It really is becoming a lost art; along with cursive writing; both of which should definitely be preserved (not to mention, saving the postal service, which is in dire straits).
And you know, there is nothing like the feeling of seeing that handwritten letter piled amongst all the other detritus the post office delivers. The anticipation of what is inside. It's a delicious feeling, actually. One in which you want to cut your husband's rant short and sneak off to a private place to read, and savor, it. (Which is actually what I did as quickly as I could without being totally rude)
So what about you - when was the last time you sent, or received, an actual letter? Do you miss them as much as I do?
And that letter? Sad news and all, it is going into the keepsake box, as a testament to simpler times.
December 16, 2012
A mini technology related rant and my eye is fine, thanks for asking.
I am annoyed. Actually, I am beyond annoyed.
I have spent the last two days having a battle of epic proportions with my phone and a certain email provider. For some reason it has decided that I do not need that particular email account to work. The one that is tied to my blog! The phone has randomly told me that my login failed (which was odd, because I hadn't been trying to log in - since I'm ALWAYS logged in). This in turn made me think that I should change my password. So I did and I STILL can't get in.
After struggling with it again this morning, and going back and forth with Verizon on Twitter (major props to Verizon for answering my call for help. Yahoo? I'm pretty much sick of you - especially since you've ignored me) I gave up and went to the Verizon store. The guy there was very helpful. He informed me that Yahoo and Droids haven't been playing nicely lately. Great. He then loaded a Yahoo app and said that it would be fine. But it's not. The old icon is still there and occasionally throwing out random things like "login incorrect" "email failed to send" etc. And the new app? Well, damned if it won't notify me when I receive an email! Oh sure, I can retrieve the emails manually but then what the hell is the point of having the so-called smart phone if it won't TELL me I have emails? And? I can't find the settings for the application - they are hidden somewhere random - to see if there is something that needs to be checked off in order for it to work properly. *sigh*
I have tried repeatedly to delete the original account - in hopes that re-loading it would make it work again. But it won't even let me do that. So I'm seriously wondering about how hard it would be to come up with a new email account with a different, more customer friendly provider and somehow link it to my blog and other social media sites. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.
In other news, my eye is healing up nicely. What? You didn't know about the eye? Well, I guess I'll have to rectify that....
So there I was, blissfully sleeping the sleep of the innocent. Most likely dreaming of sugar plums and kittens. When out of nowhere, an EXPLOSION of pain had me leaping from the bed, holding my face and screaming,
"MY EYE! MY EYE! YOU KNOCKED MY EYE OUT!"
And crying hysterically. Naturally, this had my husband leaping from the bed screaming,
"WHAT?! WHAT?!" As he was shaking off sleep and trying to figure out what happened, I screamed at him,
"YOU HIT ME IN THE EYE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DREAMING ABOUT!" (although, upon reflection, I think my language must have been FAR more colorful than that).
We stumbled around, sleep dazed, him trying to figure out what was going on and me trying to make the pain go away. As the sleep-fog began to lift and he realized what he'd done, he was sick.
Apparently, in the throes of a dream, he'd lashed out. Sure he'd done it before - without such wicked results - usually landing a smack on the back of my head; or once, even on my nose; but this time he'd REALLY done it.
He got an ice pack together and made me hold it to my face, all while holding me and repeating how sorry he was; how he didn't mean it. Eventually, we both calmed down enough to get back into bed. Me with an ice pack on my face (which is really conducive to putting you to sleep....not) and him petting my head, as he is wont to do. Finally, once I took the ice pack off - since my face was quite numb at this point, he declared that he couldn't sleep in our bed. He was terrified that he might lash out again.
So he took his pillows and went to the guest room. He banished himself.
This happened Monday night. He still refuses to sleep in our room; despite the fact that the guest bed is too hard and too small for him. He claims that he can't come back into our room until he can be sure he won't lash out again; how he will know when he is SURE is beyond me. I figure it will be when he can't stand sleeping on that bed anymore.
Tuesday morning he told me, "I can't even look at you without feeling like such a shit. I'm so sorry." He then proceeded to call me several times during the day to make sure I was okay and then made one of my favorites for dinner. All while telling me that he was so sorry and that it was an accident.
Luckily, I didn't have a full on black eye. Just a little swelling and some broken blood vessels, which made the eye look much worse than it actually was, but really, I'm okay. I can even wear my contacts - which surprised me. In fact, as of today, a majority of the swelling and redness has receded.
And though I am okay, and totally against him sleeping in the guest room I have to admit.....I've had the BEST nights sleep these past couple of nights. No one to steal the covers. No one snoring. No one subconsciously smacking me in the face while I sleep...it's been great.
So maybe, just maybe, I won't insist that he sleep where he belongs. I'll just continue to let him punish himself, while I reap the reward of pure, relaxing sleep for a few more days.
I have spent the last two days having a battle of epic proportions with my phone and a certain email provider. For some reason it has decided that I do not need that particular email account to work. The one that is tied to my blog! The phone has randomly told me that my login failed (which was odd, because I hadn't been trying to log in - since I'm ALWAYS logged in). This in turn made me think that I should change my password. So I did and I STILL can't get in.
After struggling with it again this morning, and going back and forth with Verizon on Twitter (major props to Verizon for answering my call for help. Yahoo? I'm pretty much sick of you - especially since you've ignored me) I gave up and went to the Verizon store. The guy there was very helpful. He informed me that Yahoo and Droids haven't been playing nicely lately. Great. He then loaded a Yahoo app and said that it would be fine. But it's not. The old icon is still there and occasionally throwing out random things like "login incorrect" "email failed to send" etc. And the new app? Well, damned if it won't notify me when I receive an email! Oh sure, I can retrieve the emails manually but then what the hell is the point of having the so-called smart phone if it won't TELL me I have emails? And? I can't find the settings for the application - they are hidden somewhere random - to see if there is something that needs to be checked off in order for it to work properly. *sigh*
I have tried repeatedly to delete the original account - in hopes that re-loading it would make it work again. But it won't even let me do that. So I'm seriously wondering about how hard it would be to come up with a new email account with a different, more customer friendly provider and somehow link it to my blog and other social media sites. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.
In other news, my eye is healing up nicely. What? You didn't know about the eye? Well, I guess I'll have to rectify that....
So there I was, blissfully sleeping the sleep of the innocent. Most likely dreaming of sugar plums and kittens. When out of nowhere, an EXPLOSION of pain had me leaping from the bed, holding my face and screaming,
"MY EYE! MY EYE! YOU KNOCKED MY EYE OUT!"
And crying hysterically. Naturally, this had my husband leaping from the bed screaming,
"WHAT?! WHAT?!" As he was shaking off sleep and trying to figure out what happened, I screamed at him,
"YOU HIT ME IN THE EYE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DREAMING ABOUT!" (although, upon reflection, I think my language must have been FAR more colorful than that).
We stumbled around, sleep dazed, him trying to figure out what was going on and me trying to make the pain go away. As the sleep-fog began to lift and he realized what he'd done, he was sick.
Apparently, in the throes of a dream, he'd lashed out. Sure he'd done it before - without such wicked results - usually landing a smack on the back of my head; or once, even on my nose; but this time he'd REALLY done it.
He got an ice pack together and made me hold it to my face, all while holding me and repeating how sorry he was; how he didn't mean it. Eventually, we both calmed down enough to get back into bed. Me with an ice pack on my face (which is really conducive to putting you to sleep....not) and him petting my head, as he is wont to do. Finally, once I took the ice pack off - since my face was quite numb at this point, he declared that he couldn't sleep in our bed. He was terrified that he might lash out again.
So he took his pillows and went to the guest room. He banished himself.
This happened Monday night. He still refuses to sleep in our room; despite the fact that the guest bed is too hard and too small for him. He claims that he can't come back into our room until he can be sure he won't lash out again; how he will know when he is SURE is beyond me. I figure it will be when he can't stand sleeping on that bed anymore.
Tuesday morning he told me, "I can't even look at you without feeling like such a shit. I'm so sorry." He then proceeded to call me several times during the day to make sure I was okay and then made one of my favorites for dinner. All while telling me that he was so sorry and that it was an accident.
Luckily, I didn't have a full on black eye. Just a little swelling and some broken blood vessels, which made the eye look much worse than it actually was, but really, I'm okay. I can even wear my contacts - which surprised me. In fact, as of today, a majority of the swelling and redness has receded.
And though I am okay, and totally against him sleeping in the guest room I have to admit.....I've had the BEST nights sleep these past couple of nights. No one to steal the covers. No one snoring. No one subconsciously smacking me in the face while I sleep...it's been great.
So maybe, just maybe, I won't insist that he sleep where he belongs. I'll just continue to let him punish himself, while I reap the reward of pure, relaxing sleep for a few more days.
December 14, 2012
Heartbroken.....
I had a whole post ready to go - give or take a few tweaks - poking fun of an incident that happened earlier this week. But I'm not feeling very funny right now.
Right now, I am horrified and sickened at the tragedy in Connecticut.
My thoughts, prayers and tears tonight are for those people affected by the senseless act of violence today.
This insanity must stop.....it HAS to stop. Things like this should NEVER happen again. And the fact that they already have - too many times to count - is a testament to that fact.
Right now, I am horrified and sickened at the tragedy in Connecticut.
My thoughts, prayers and tears tonight are for those people affected by the senseless act of violence today.
This insanity must stop.....it HAS to stop. Things like this should NEVER happen again. And the fact that they already have - too many times to count - is a testament to that fact.
December 9, 2012
Long Distance Father/Son Bonding...and other crap
I have been composing a post in my head all day long. But then something else happened that seemed so much more "post worthy" that I have decided that what I was thinking just wasn't good enough for it's own post....so I'll just tack it on at the end. Sure, it won't make for a cohesive post but then when are my posts ever cohesive?
Look closely; what do you see?
And then it all came flooding back to me. I had bought the ornament frame just days before Christmas and never got organized enough to have the picture taken. In a frantic attempt to get the picture done before the season was over, I had my friend come over at the last minute in an attempt to "close out" the holiday season. And then, once the photo had been snapped, I completely ended the season, neglecting to print the photo and pack it away.
This from the kid who has had absolutely NO interest in trimming the tree these past several years? The kid who actually moaned if I suggested that he help me in any way?
Earlier in the evening, I heard Hubby talking to the television. More than usual. I knew the Giants were playing so I chalked it up to them playing extremely well or extremely bad. No matter how they play, it is guaranteed that he will be telling them what to do or what not to do.
As time wore on, I began to notice that the tone was more conversational than confrontational. Generally, Hubby is confrontational with the television. I also noticed that the chatter of the sports announcers weren't blathering on and on in the background, as they usually are when he is watching a game.
Curious, I took a stroll past the living room to see what was going on. It turned out that Hubby was on the phone. With Man-Child.
These two boys of mine are extremely close, and always have been. They used to spend most of their Sundays during the "season" watching football together. And, if I'm not mistaken, up until Man-Child left for college, they have watched every Giants game together.
Since MC has left for school, I can tell that some of the joy Hubby felt at watching a Giants game is gone. Oh sure, he still berates the team when they aren't doing well, he still berates the referees and he especially berates the sports announcers. In his mind, all the announcers are Giants haters. But I could tell that his heart wasn't in it.
Until tonight. Tonight, one of them called the other. And then like two school girls, proceeded to watch the game "together" via the phone; for the ENTIRE game. It was hilarious. After it was over, Hubby informed me that it had been "fun." I sense a new trend in their football watching going forward.
In other news, I decorated the tree today. After yesterday's mild panic attack, I am feeling a little more in control. Oh sure, the house isn't decorated (and, most likely, won't be - since just looking at all FIFTEEN of those boxes gave me a headache.....), but the tree is trimmed and the stockings are hung. What more do you need to have Santa come visit? Exactly.
Only two minor hiccups occurred today while trimming the tree. The first being, I discovered last year's Christmas ornament. I buy a new one that is dated every year. Recently, I've been buying the photo ones to ensure that we have a family picture every year. Here is last year's.....
 |
| WHY my pictures are randomly turning sideways, I don't know! But, other than that, what is wrong with this picture?! |
Look closely; what do you see?
|
| That is NOT my family!!! |
This lead me to do a mental review. Did we take a family picture last year? If we did, why did I not put the picture into the frame?
For the life of me, I could not remember. And thus began the internal debate; "Should I just hang it on the tree as is? As a testament to the fact that I am obviously losing my mind? Or should I cheat and put in some random, fairly recent, photo and call it a day?"
In the end, I decided to set it aside and see if I could find some evidence of a family picture from last year before hanging it AS IS on the tree. After searching one laptop, my cell phone and another laptop I DID discover a family picture. And it was a definite cheat - since it was apparently taken after Christmas - on the 29th to be exact.
 |
| Well, at least this one is right side up! |
And then it all came flooding back to me. I had bought the ornament frame just days before Christmas and never got organized enough to have the picture taken. In a frantic attempt to get the picture done before the season was over, I had my friend come over at the last minute in an attempt to "close out" the holiday season. And then, once the photo had been snapped, I completely ended the season, neglecting to print the photo and pack it away.
Since I already have this year's ornament, I suppose I should get busy with that family picture business (note to self.....be more organized this year, dammit!)
The other hiccup occurred after I had decorated the tree. Yesterday, while up in the mountains, I found a Christmas ornament in MC's school colors and with the logo stamped on it. I bought it immediately. Today it was the first ornament on the tree. I snapped a picture and immediately texted it to him.
Hours later he responded.....
 |
| Seriously? |
This from the kid who has had absolutely NO interest in trimming the tree these past several years? The kid who actually moaned if I suggested that he help me in any way?
I can't win, people. I just can't win.
December 8, 2012
Only 17 more days.....REALLY?!?!
After a very long day of rising early to drive two hours up to the mountains to visit Man-Child (only to discover that he will be home this Wednesday, which made me wonder why we were up there in the first place) doing the tourist thing up there, having lunch, then dropping him back at his dorm in the guise of heading home and then rushing over to a local store to scoop up some college-themed apparel (for a Christmas present) before driving the long two hours back down the mountain, I came home and settled in for some blog reading. (If THAT doesn't win the longest sentence ever prize, I don't know what will!)
Only to be presented with the information that Christmas is exactly 17 days away. SEVENTEEN!
How this is possible, I do not know since I have it on good authority that it was just recently July.
Actually, up until I read that I was feeling kind of smug. I was feeling that I was ahead of the curve. I had bought a few presents. The tree is up - not decorated - but it's up. Sitting there waiting patiently to be decorated and adorned.
Now? Presented with this new information (and really, at this point it's only SIXTEEN days away since, in my mind, it is far too late to do anything about it tonight) I am faced with the reality that I am much, much, much further behind than I ever imagined.
Something tells me that tomorrow is going to be far more manic than the quiet day I was planning.
It's time to turn on the Christmas tunes - to set the mood - and let the decorating and gift buying begin. It's time to set aside all those little projects and focus on the Big Day.
But, I gotta tell you, it's kind of hard to do when the weather here has been mild enough to make you think of Spring. Today, in the mountains, it was almost 70 degrees! I'd rather turn my thoughts to warm weather pursuits. But I won't. It will take extreme focus but somehow I will pull it off - I always do.
And I have to admit, this year? The thought of Christmas isn't as depressing as it has been for the last two. Oh sure, things still aren't where they should be - but that little ray of hope is there, shining brightly, and spurring me forward. And now that I've talked myself into getting into the swing of things (via writing this post) I know I will be able to pull it all together, just in time. But next year? Next year I WILL be ready.....I hope.
How about you? Are you ahead of the game or like me, woefully behind? (Please tell me you are behind, I don't want to be the only disorganized one)
Only to be presented with the information that Christmas is exactly 17 days away. SEVENTEEN!
How this is possible, I do not know since I have it on good authority that it was just recently July.
Actually, up until I read that I was feeling kind of smug. I was feeling that I was ahead of the curve. I had bought a few presents. The tree is up - not decorated - but it's up. Sitting there waiting patiently to be decorated and adorned.
Now? Presented with this new information (and really, at this point it's only SIXTEEN days away since, in my mind, it is far too late to do anything about it tonight) I am faced with the reality that I am much, much, much further behind than I ever imagined.
Something tells me that tomorrow is going to be far more manic than the quiet day I was planning.
It's time to turn on the Christmas tunes - to set the mood - and let the decorating and gift buying begin. It's time to set aside all those little projects and focus on the Big Day.
But, I gotta tell you, it's kind of hard to do when the weather here has been mild enough to make you think of Spring. Today, in the mountains, it was almost 70 degrees! I'd rather turn my thoughts to warm weather pursuits. But I won't. It will take extreme focus but somehow I will pull it off - I always do.
And I have to admit, this year? The thought of Christmas isn't as depressing as it has been for the last two. Oh sure, things still aren't where they should be - but that little ray of hope is there, shining brightly, and spurring me forward. And now that I've talked myself into getting into the swing of things (via writing this post) I know I will be able to pull it all together, just in time. But next year? Next year I WILL be ready.....I hope.
How about you? Are you ahead of the game or like me, woefully behind? (Please tell me you are behind, I don't want to be the only disorganized one)
December 4, 2012
"Someone" misses his mom.... (not his dad though, because he's no fun)
Man-Child actually misses his mom parents enough to ask us to come up to visit for the day.
(And we all, collectively say.... "AWWWW, what a good boy!" Why thank you! Yes, I think I'll keep him for the time being...despite the fact that he does "text spelling," which he claims he DOESN'T do.....despite evidence to the contrary; even though I taught him better....)
.
Which results in a YES! frommom the parents ("if the weather is good" so says the dad) .
Which then results in this.....
Says the mom who got up WAY to early this morning....so early that she is amazed that she was even able to get this post set up.
BTW (oh dear God....now I'M doing it! Surely it's a result of not enough sleep....right?!)....is this post legible?
(And we all, collectively say.... "AWWWW, what a good boy!" Why thank you! Yes, I think I'll keep him for the time being...despite the fact that he does "text spelling," which he claims he DOESN'T do.....despite evidence to the contrary; even though I taught him better....)
.Which results in a YES! from
Which then results in this.....
Says the mom who got up WAY to early this morning....so early that she is amazed that she was even able to get this post set up.
BTW (oh dear God....now I'M doing it! Surely it's a result of not enough sleep....right?!)....is this post legible?
And the cleaning/organizing frenzy continues.....
When I saw the forecast for last weekend, I was elated.
I had figured that we had missed our opportunity for cleaning the garage and would have to wait until spring. But the cleaning gods were smiling upon us - the forecast for Saturday was in the high 60's.
Hubby, of course, had other plans. He wanted to work on the shower (a project which irks me to no end - because this house is only four years old we shouldn't HAVE to be working on the shower yet) and to fix the toilet that had suddenly decided to run non-stop.
Of course, there was at least a billion things I would have rather done too - like get a haircut, buy some Christmas presents, suffer through water torture......but I knew that the cooperating weather was a rare gift and that we would be smart to take advantage of it.
I refuse to show before shots - simply because it was too hideous (and I neglected to take any); the result of him being a slob and me thinking at least it's not in the house; which, by the way, is not a good way to think - because if you do, then you end up spending your entire Saturday in the garage and dodging spiders.
I also refuse to show after shots - simply because it's still not "right" (i.e., not Pinterest perfect and, if I'm honest, it never will be simply because it's a garage).
At one point, he moaned "WHERE did all this crap come from? Didn't we JUST get rid of a bunch of stuff before we moved here?!"
Yes, we did. But we've been here four years now and life - and its detritus - moved on.
Later in the day, he asked me about the two boxes marked "Infant things," to which I responded, "You can't say one word about those boxes until you can explain to me why you have 15,000 boxes of electrical outlets and one gigantic box of screws." And with that we compromised. I kept two boxes marked "Infant things," that I will never, ever use again and he kept one box containing an electrical outlet and a gigantic box of screws that he will never, ever use again.
By the end of the day, we had taken to carloads of crap to the hazardous waste site - including two televisions (one fried by lightning and the other one? I have no idea where it even came from in the first place); a broken hard drive, a broken printer and countless cans of paint. One carload went to Habitat for Humanity and another to Goodwill. And I can tell you that next weekend another run to Goodwill will be made.
We also need to call someone to clear out the junk that the trash company won't take. And another trip to the hazardous waste site is needed for the remaining cans of paint, the broken microwave that surfaced as the day went on AND the television and dvd player that I just remembered is tucked away in a closet - that also got fried by lightning - I am beginning to wonder about our propensity of having household products hit by lightning.
While it is far from perfect, I smile every time I walk through the garage. Because I can see the floor. Because I can get to every single Christmas box without having to move anything out of the way - and this goes a long way to easing just a teeny, tiny bit of the insanity that usually overtakes me about this time of year.
Any maybe, just maybe, there is a possibility that one day soon - preferably before the first snow - that I may be able to park my car IN the garage. A novel idea, I know.
I had figured that we had missed our opportunity for cleaning the garage and would have to wait until spring. But the cleaning gods were smiling upon us - the forecast for Saturday was in the high 60's.
Hubby, of course, had other plans. He wanted to work on the shower (a project which irks me to no end - because this house is only four years old we shouldn't HAVE to be working on the shower yet) and to fix the toilet that had suddenly decided to run non-stop.
Of course, there was at least a billion things I would have rather done too - like get a haircut, buy some Christmas presents, suffer through water torture......but I knew that the cooperating weather was a rare gift and that we would be smart to take advantage of it.
I refuse to show before shots - simply because it was too hideous (and I neglected to take any); the result of him being a slob and me thinking at least it's not in the house; which, by the way, is not a good way to think - because if you do, then you end up spending your entire Saturday in the garage and dodging spiders.
I also refuse to show after shots - simply because it's still not "right" (i.e., not Pinterest perfect and, if I'm honest, it never will be simply because it's a garage).
At one point, he moaned "WHERE did all this crap come from? Didn't we JUST get rid of a bunch of stuff before we moved here?!"
Yes, we did. But we've been here four years now and life - and its detritus - moved on.
Later in the day, he asked me about the two boxes marked "Infant things," to which I responded, "You can't say one word about those boxes until you can explain to me why you have 15,000 boxes of electrical outlets and one gigantic box of screws." And with that we compromised. I kept two boxes marked "Infant things," that I will never, ever use again and he kept one box containing an electrical outlet and a gigantic box of screws that he will never, ever use again.
By the end of the day, we had taken to carloads of crap to the hazardous waste site - including two televisions (one fried by lightning and the other one? I have no idea where it even came from in the first place); a broken hard drive, a broken printer and countless cans of paint. One carload went to Habitat for Humanity and another to Goodwill. And I can tell you that next weekend another run to Goodwill will be made.
We also need to call someone to clear out the junk that the trash company won't take. And another trip to the hazardous waste site is needed for the remaining cans of paint, the broken microwave that surfaced as the day went on AND the television and dvd player that I just remembered is tucked away in a closet - that also got fried by lightning - I am beginning to wonder about our propensity of having household products hit by lightning.
While it is far from perfect, I smile every time I walk through the garage. Because I can see the floor. Because I can get to every single Christmas box without having to move anything out of the way - and this goes a long way to easing just a teeny, tiny bit of the insanity that usually overtakes me about this time of year.
Any maybe, just maybe, there is a possibility that one day soon - preferably before the first snow - that I may be able to park my car IN the garage. A novel idea, I know.
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