BH&G may give you the recipe but *I* give you just a bit more

After yesterday's post I received a tweet...

@gigirambles umm if u really wanted to pay it forward you would post the recipe. LOL
— Jpm2375 (@needsatimeout) August 22, 2013

(Random note - I totally need to update all my social media avatars.  Somebody remind me to do that soon.)

And, I must admit - she has a point.  So without further ado, here is my super-secret, super-yummy recipe for awesome chocolate chip cookies (which, in all honesty, comes directly from the Better Homes & Garden cookbook that my mother misguidedly gave me after I got married some 22 years ago.  Apparently, even my own mother didn't realize just how disinterested I was in cooking.  Seriously, Mom?!  But, I will admit - the baking section has gotten a workout over the years - which explains the spattered pages that are falling out of the book; while the rest of the book remains pristine and untouched).

Gigi's Awesome Chocolate Chip Cookies:

(better known as, Better Homes & Garden chocolate chip cookies - but they won't tell you the things that I've learned through the years - so there!)

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt (eh, I use more of "pinch", if I use it all)
1/2 cup of butter or margarine (forget the margarine - if you are baking, it needs to be butter)
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup packed brown sugar (use the dark brown sugar - not the light brown sugar, trust me.  And when they say "packed" they mean PACKED)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips (forget that - use the whole bag - otherwise you will wind up with a 1/4 cup of chips left and what can you do with that?  Nothing!)
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans (I totally skip this.  I'm a purist when it comes to chocolate chip cookies.  Besides, these days you have to worry about random nut allergies)

Stir together flour, soda and salt.  In a mixer bowl, beat butter and shortening on medium speed for about 30 seconds - or however long it takes you to gather the next ingredients.  Add the sugars and beat till fluffy.  Add eggs and vanilla and beat well.  Add the dry ingredients (flour, soda, salt mixture - being sure to cover the mixer with a towel so it doesn't fly all over the kitchen - can you guess how many years it took me to figure this out?) and beat till well combined.  Stir in the chocolate chips (OK, AND the nuts, if you insist. But, I'm telling you, that just ruins them).  Drop from a teaspoon about two inches apart onto an ungreased cookie sheets (the oldest, most beat up cookie sheets you own.  Trust me.  For some reason the new, fancy cookie sheets just don't make the best cookies - this is why I refuse to get new ones).  Immediately remember you forgot to preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Impatiently drum your fingers while you wait for the oven to *ding* when it's preheated and finally, toss the cookies in for about 8 to 10 minutes (depending on your oven).

I have found that the larger you make the cookies the softer they are.  I prefer crispy cookies, so I make mine relatively small (much to Hubby's chagrin - but then he isn't a purist either.  He'd be giddy if I threw walnuts in there - but that's not gonna happen).  If you go with the smaller cookies, this recipe should make about 72 or so cookies.

Now, go forth and bake!  Just be sure to share them.

Paying it forward (aka...Mike? My co-workers LOVE you!)

As I've mentioned previously, our lawn mower died...again.

And, this led to Hubby thinking he could actually use a push mower on this lawn - which, as you know, led to disastrous results (which I could have sworn I told you about - but, according to my search through the archives, haven't.  Long story short - Hubby spent three days trying to push mow the acre or so of our "lawn," if that's what you want to call this field of weeds we have.  In the end, we had to call the paramedics because he had, what turned out to be, a wicked allergy attack and not the heart attack, that I was convinced he was having.  He's fine now, thank God.  And that ended his"brilliant" notion that he can push mow our so-called "lawn").

At any rate, dear Mike has been sneaking over to mow our lawn.  At least three times that we can figure.  This is in addition to the LAST time our mower died he came over, unasked, to mow.  And yes, I said sneaking.

Today, I caught him.  And seriously could have thrown my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

As I was pulling into the driveway this evening, I passed him, waved without thinking about it and got out of the car.  And only then did I realize, he wasn't mowing HIS yard, he was mowing OURS.  Again! And, by the looks of it, had just started.

So I did what any rational, kind human being would do.  I immediately went inside, yelled to Hubby that Mike was mowing our grass AGAIN, and began to make cookies.  Without even changing out of my work clothes.  Do you realize how huge that is?

Right about the time he was finishing up, and Hubby had snared him with his wonderful banter, I came outside bearing a plate of cookies with his name on it.  We chatted for a bit and I told him how we appreciated his help.  He is truly an angel.

We tried to invite them to dinner this weekend - but he put us off.  You can bet that we will keep trying.

Now, why do my co-workers love Mike?  Because my recipe for chocolate chip cookies (which in this instance turned out to be white chocolate chip cookies because my regular chocolate chip supply had been depleted thanks to Man-Child being home for the summer!) makes an insane amount of cookies.  And knowing that it is only Mike and his wife in their home, I only sent them a dozen.  The rest was given to the co-workers...thus "paying it forward."

And, I can attest, considering the way they scarfed the remaining 2 1/2 - 3 dozen cookies up, they love Mike.  As do I.

And?  It has been confirmed that white chocolate chips do not deter from the whole "chocolate chip cookie" experience...in case you were wondering.

And once again, silence falls

The past two days have been a whirlwind of activity around here.  Friday found me "helping" my son pack to go back to school.  Yes, he waited until the day before he had to leave to even begin.  Are any of us surprised?

And further, are any of us surprised that I freaked out when I opened his closet and abandoned the thought of packing when I saw what a rat's nest he had in there?  We had to stop mid-packing so that he could decide what he wanted to keep and what was going to Goodwill.  In the end we had three packed, solid trash bags and an overflowing hamper that was shuttled off before we could get back to the business of packing for school.

Despite the fact that he waited till the last minute it went fairly quickly as he knew exactly what he wanted to take.  Last year, as he wasn't sure he packed a lot more.  This time we had it down to two tote boxes, a hamper, his giant duffle bag, bookbag and computer.

Saturday began before the sun even came up, as we had planned to be there as soon as check-in opened up.  At this school, freshman all check in the day before everyone else.  Despite that, last year move in seemed chaotic to me; so I surmised that this year would be even more chaotic since we would be checking in with everyone else.  It actually wasn't too bad.  But that might be because this year his dorm room is next to the stadium.  And, more importantly, the stadium parking lot.  Last year his dorm was on the other end of campus and had a parking lot that only boasted about 15 slots.  Four were designated handicapped parking, while another four were reserved for the RA's.

At any rate, he's back at school.  Settled in and happy.  And I'm back at home listening to the quiet.

Last year I was so very anxious and worried.  Would he like it up there?  Would he be happy?  Would he fit in?  Would he eat properly?  Take care of himself?  Get into trouble?  You know, all the standard "mom stuff."

This year I know that he is happy there.  That he's made friends.  That he eats well.  So this year, my anxiety was pretty much nonexistent.  Although, I must admit, after having him home all summer, it's still pretty strange to have to get used to the quiet all over again.

It's Official - I've Lost My Damn Mind.

We've all known this day would come.  We've seen the signs (just look at any of my posts for proof).  But today completely and totally made it official.

But first, as usual, the back story - so that the rest of it makes some kind of sense.

On Friday, upon going through the mail, I discovered that I'd been sent a new bank card as my old one was due to expire.  Naturally, I set it aside and figured I'd deal with activating the card on Saturday since all that was required was for me to call a phone number from my home phone.

So before I set out to run a few errands on Saturday morning, I called the number; punched in the requisite numbers and was promptly informed by a recording that she was sorry but she couldn't activate the card and I would need to call my financial institution.  Fine.  Whatever.  The old card still worked so I figured I'd call the bank bright and early on Monday.

And I did.  Bright and early this morning, I called the bank.  Went through another phone tree hell and finally connected with a real, live human being.  I explained the situation and she was eager to help.  She said, "All I need is the last four digits of your Social Security number and your date of birth."  I promptly handed over the said numbers.  And she said, "That's not it."

WHAT?!  So I said, fine.  It must be under my husband's information and handed over the last four digits of his Social Security number to her and she said, "No, that's not it.  And it's under your information."

So I repeated the last four numbers of mine again while mentally running through my brain the entire number to make sure I was saying it properly.  Again, I was told "That's not it."

I was flabbergasted.  I asked her what I was supposed to do now, since THOSE WERE MY NUMBERS? And she suggested that I go to a local branch to have the card activated.  I thanked her for her time, hung up and fumed.

The bank closes at 5:00 pm.  I work until 5:00 pm.  Do you see the dilemma here?  Not to mention the fact, that somehow these people had a wrong Social Security number down for me.  I was not a happy camper.

As Hubby had the day off, we had decided to meet for lunch and I related the whole story to him as we ate.  He had the nerve to ask, "Are you sure you gave them the right numbers?"  And I adamantly said, "YES!"  He then worried over whether or not my identity had been stolen, to which I wondered why anyone would steal my identity and then change my Social Security number at the bank and, more importantly, can that even be done?

As he was headed home after lunch, he offered to double check my Social Security number and call me with it...just in case.  I agreed and headed back to work figuring out the best way to duck out of work early to try and fix this mess and thinking, "Me.  This could only happen to ME!"

When Hubby called he said, "The last four digits of your Social is XXYY."  I said, "You're kidding, right?"  No, apparently he wasn't.

All afternoon I stared at those four digits I had scribbled down and wondered why I had been SO sure that the other four digits were correct.  They felt familiar.  Very familiar.  Something I just knew.  Just like my Social Security number.  And it finally clicked.

I gave the woman VWXX....the last four digits of my cell phone number!  Which, apparently has two of the same digits as my Social transposed.

It's official...I AM an idiot.

*sigh*

Really Hubby? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...just sayin'

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep I composed a post.  I thought about sitting up and writing down the gist of it; at the very least.  And then I didn't.  And now, it's just "dust in the wind" to quote a band that, apparently, had bigger hair than I am currently sporting, thanks to the unnatural amount of rain and humidity that we've been experiencing this summer.

I think it may have had something to do with anorexia (because of some very disturbing things I found via the world wide web yesterday while patrolling the 'Net for trademark infringement/counterfeit, i.e., only part of my job - which let the Work Me just interject here - C'mon people, trademark infringement/counterfeit is NOT cool.  Stop it already; I have better things to do than chase you around the internet....like the rest of my job!  Also not cool?  Promoting anorexia via social media.  I literally cried when I came across these sites - the pictures!  Nothing but skin and bones.) OR it may have had something to do with the fact that my husband seems to hate my pajamas.

One or the other.

For now, I'm going with the pajamas.  I get it.  They aren't "sexy."  But guess what?  They are COMFY.  Yes, comfy enough to warrant all caps.

In less than a week, Hubby has commented on my choice of nightwear.  He has even asked me if I wanted him to buy me some new pajamas.  No, I do not.

While this ensemble that I am sporting might not be something I wish to be seen in public in, I am perfectly happy to sport this look around those that I love the most.  The cotton is soft.  The elastic in the waistband is stretched just enough so there is no binding.  In sum, these pajamas are perfect.  And those that I love the most better get used to it.  Because, dammit, after a long, hard, grueling day of staring at a monitor, with my fingers flying across a keyboard - while sporting something stylish and uncomfortable, I deserve to relax in something loose, soft and comfy.

So, in addition to the million other things that I have planned for tomorrow (back-to-college-shopping, packing, creating a "marketing packet" for the soon-to-be-up-for-sale house, cleaning, laundry, etc.), I will also be shopping for my next pair of COMFY pajamas...just to get my husband off my back.

And really?  Who is HE to judge?  Since, according to what comes across in the laundry every week, seems to be the same six t-shirts over and over again.

If the good Lord is willing and the creek don't rise; maybe I'll even wash it.

Well, I did it.

I cleaned my car.

What?  You don't think this is noteworthy?  Have I mentioned that I haven't cleaned my car in....well, let's just say that I can't remember the last time I cleaned it.

But for some reason today, when I got in it I was disgusted.  Apparently, when I get into my car the only thing I can see is whatever is right outside the windshield in front of me.

*sigh*

So, I made up my mind...that TODAY would be the day that it was cleaned.  Of course, as it's not the weekend, this meant that after a full day at work, on a MONDAY, I might add, I would have to come home and actually DO something other than put on my pj's and surf the 'Net.  The horror.

But I did it.  I gathered all my cleaning supplies, the unwieldy Shop-Vac and dove in.  It took me over an hour to just dust, vacuum and sanitize all the surfaces in that car.  AN HOUR and it's just a mid-size (if you want to be generous) sedan!  Needless to say, I earned that glass of wine or two after I was done.

The car is officially clean and I am seriously surprised that I haven't yet contracted MRSA or some equally horrifying disease from the disgusting amount of crud I'd been driving around in for however long it's been.  I count myself fortunate.

As they say, God looks out for fools, drunks, small children and, apparently, people with filthy cars.

An Open Letter to the Judge in Anytown, NC...

Dear Judge So-n-So:

I get it.  You are busy.  Apparently, there is all kinds of law-breaking going on in that teeny-tiny little town that you preside over.

I was a front-seat witness to it last week when I took a day off work to drive my son back up to Anytown, NC (his little college town) so that he could testify on his friend's behalf regarding the threatening text she received.

To discover that your courthouse only has one courtroom and, presumably only one judge, caught me off guard, I must admit.  Although your teeny-tiny town is just a wee bit smaller than ours, I guess I expected more.

At any rate, upon discovering this, I quickly surmised that you must be super-busy.

But even so, I have to question your methods.  You see, this was actually the second time this summer that my son has made the trip back to Anytown to testify.

The first time was back in May, about two weeks after school let out.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend because of work commitments - which distressed me to no end.  I'm sure you understand - your only child has to testify, in court, you kind of want to be there for him.

As you know, he never had to testify that day because the defendant didn't show up.  According to his attorney, he had high school exams.  So, apparently, he is an exemplary student but his character is questionable.

What thoroughly amazed me though was the fact that all you did was continue the case rather than handing down some sort of punishment like - oh, I don't know...contempt.  That's what I would have done.

But then, I'm not a judge am I?  Lucky for that kid and a few other people I can think of off the top of my head.

The new court date was set for last week.  In addition to taking a day off work, as I mentioned earlier, we had to be up and out of the house at an abnormally early hour.  But we did it.  My son because he has an outstanding moral character and me because I'm an exceptional mom (despite what you may have heard to the contrary).

As you know, the case once again did not take place.  As the exceptionally young prosecutor noted, this is a "really young" case (which in my mind translated to "You've only come to court twice - get used to it").

The reason this time?  Because the defense attorney was on "sanctioned leave."  Which we discovered meant that YOU okayed this leave.  Which is fine, really.  I mean everyone, even defense attorneys, sometimes need time off.

What wasn't fine was the fact that no one bothered to inform the rest of the participants in this case.  In fact, the victim received a call from the Sheriff's office reminding her to be in court that day.  We had to drive two hours just to get to court and the victim had a three hour drive.  Which meant that we all had a four hour and six hour round trip, respectively, for nothing as the case was once again continued to September.

I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is a small - maybe even paltry - case in your eyes.  It sure isn't murder, that's for sure.  But here's the deal - despite inconveniencing several people, allowing this kind of thing to happen over and over again, which according to the exceptionally young prosecutor's comment tells me is the case, all you are doing is delaying the inevitable AND adding to your already overflowing docket.

So here is where I want to give you just a little bit of friendly advice, Your Honor.  Deal with the cases as they come up.  I'm fairly certain that if you become the judge with that reputation this kind of thing can be prevented from happening over and over again - I'm sure you've heard of the "Rocket Docket"?  As you can imagine, there is no dilly-dallying in that courtroom.  And there wouldn't be any comments about "young cases" in your courtroom, which really would be a good thing.

Also, Your Honor, what kind of message are you sending to the youth that think they can hide behind a screen and threaten people?  In my mind, the message that you are sending is that while it isn't okay, per se, it's not too bad so go ahead and do what you will - because in this courtroom you can delay punishment indefinitely...and I'm sure that's NOT the message you intended to send.  At least, that's not the message *I* would want to send.

So, if it pleases the Court, can we safely assume that come September there will be a resolution to this case?  Because, between you and me, I know my son didn't sleep at all the night before the last two court dates.  And I can easily imagine that his friend didn't either.  And this next court date - well, to be honest, it falls right smack at the beginning of school and these kids really don't need to be missing classes and losing sleep right at the beginning of the year if we expect them to keep up their grades now can we?

Knowing what a busy person you are, I'll end this correspondence in the hopes that you take my advice in the spirit it was intended - to help you ease up your heavy workload.  I work with attorneys, I KNOW how exasperating they can be, but seriously, if you just wrap up the cases ASAP life will just be that much easier for you.

Sincerely yours,

Grouchy, grouchy, grouchy....

The title is the PERFECT description of The Boy (yes, he's been demoted to Boy status because of his attitude).

But yet, it also describes MY attitude of late to a tee (which would demote me from witch to....???).

The Boy had decided at some point late, late last night - or early, early this morning - that he needed to re-set his "sleep schedule" and decided to stay up and finally crash early tonight - thus insuring that he'd awake refreshed at a normal time (i.e., in the morning and not early afternoon) tomorrow when we have someone coming to work on the house and need a coherent individual to be available.

This experiment has been "trying" to say the least.  Remember when your toddler was late for his/her nap?  Now multiply that by about a million.

I, being the ever supportive mother that I am, have been attempting to keep him awake until it's a decent hour to go to sleep.

Do you think he has been appreciative of my efforts?  No.  He has not.

In fact, so far, he's been lucky that I haven't washed his mouth out with soap and beaten him soundly about the head and shoulders...

But the night is young...

Maybe I'm just being paranoid....but really, AT&T?!

As you may recall from my last post; things have been falling apart around here at an alarming rate.  In fact, Man-Child has just informed me that, in addition to everything else, that his iPod has died.  Which is, actually kind of amazing.  After he'd accidentally crushed it with a set of weights a few years ago and it miraculously survived, despite being severely dented, I figured it was indestructible.

Despite Hubby's distress over the state of the lawn - due to the incapacitated lawn mower - my biggest issue has been with the intermittent internet issues.

After replacing the phone jack, moving the router to another phone jack, replacing the ethernet cable and still having issues, I was convinced that the issue was the router.  I mean, honestly, what else could it be?  Particularly since the first guy I had talked to said that this issue was something in the house...and guess what? The router is inside the house!

So yesterday, I bit the bullet and called AT&T to order a new router.  And, once again, went through phone tree hell in order to speak to a human.  In all honesty, I actually went through phone tree hell TWICE, since the first time the said human hung up on me before I could even speak.

As you might imagine, I was NOT a happy camper.  But, to my credit, I did remain civil to the person who eventually picked up.  Although, the person in the cubicle next to me can probably attest to the fact that I most certainly was not civil throughout the automated part of the process that you must endure to get to the said human, which may have resulted in the automated system telling me that it didn't understand my response...more than once or twice.

*ahem*

Can someone explain to me why in God's name you have to enter your phone number no less than four times throughout the process?  This, for some reason, really pissed me off puzzled me.

At any rate, I finally got to speak to a human.  And, bless her, she seemed really nice.  She placed my order for the new $100 router - with next day delivery - immediately.  And as she was clicking the "order" button she said, "You know....it might not be your router but *insert tech talk here.*  Since you aren't at home right now, I can call you back tonight and we can try that."

I said, "Okay, let's do that.  Cancel the router and we'll see what happens."  And she said,

"Oh, it's too late, it's already ordered.  But, if we fix the problem tonight you can return the router at no charge and keep your ten year old router....if you trust it."  (Okay, that last part was implied....but still.)

I was like, fine - whatever.  She asked for the best number to call me at 7:00 pm last night - so I gave her my cell.  Now, at this point, AT&T has my home phone, my work phone and my cell phone.  This is an important detail to remember.

So I finished up the day and went home to wait for the call.  And while I was waiting, I played around on the internet - with nary a problem.  Not ONE glitch - despite the fact that for the last two weeks or so this thing was glitching out every five minutes - it was smooth sailing.

As you might have surmised, I never received a phone call either.

Until I got to work this morning and discovered that she HAD called....my work number.  AND kindly said she would call back (she never did) AND left a number for me to leave a message for her.  A number that didn't work.  Of course.

So this evening, when I came home, I grilled Man-Child about the internet today.  Apparently, it's been perfectly behaved all day.  Not one glitch.  Since I've been home it's been fine.

So here's the dilemma - and where my paranoia kicks in - was this all a plot from AT&T to get me to upgrade my ancient router?  Should I return the $100 brand spanking new one?  Or should I not trust the fact that we've had smooth sailing since the order was placed?  Was my ancient router even the problem?  Or did someone at AT&T go through the records and say, "Well, THIS customer has had her router for over ten years.  We need to do something about that!"

After the dealings I've had with AT&T in the past, coupled with the article I just read about (that, of course, I cannot find now - note to self: start emailing interesting links to yourself - but just Google "AT&T bad customer service" and see what pops up) makes me seriously think that when we move, I'm going to fire AT&T.

And, as I prepare to hit "publish," it should be noted that yes, indeed, we still haven't had an issue - even though it's still the old router.  Hmmmm......

I swear, it's one thing after another around here

I shouldn't even be typing this because it was my first day back to work after TWELVE days of being off - which means that I'm dead on my feet....but here I am.

The lawn mower crapped out before I went on vacation - apparently, it has rained non-stop here every single day that I was gone - and that's not even counting all the days of rain before I left.  According to the paper, we have had an unheard of 12.5 inches of rain since June 1st.  Which mean the yard is out of control.  Which, in turn, means that Hubby is slightly crabby every time he catches a glimpse of the yard, which, if you must now, is every time he looks out the window.

Also, before I went on vacation, the internet in this house started acting up.  I kept telling Hubby to turn the router off and then on; that would fix the problem.  Only it didn't.

So one afternoon I spent a delightful (not) twenty minutes on hold trying to reach someone at AT&T to help me fix the problem.  Eventually, I connected with a very nice (really) young man who did whatever it is he can do from his computer to determine that the problem wasn't with "the line" but that it was something inside the house (cue the scary music).

After a bit of troubleshooting, we discovered that the connection to the phone outlet was loose.  He informed me that since I have paid extra (so that explains why our phone bill is so high) I could opt to have a technician come and replace it for me for free.  Seeing as it was a Saturday and figuring I wouldn't get anyone out here until a Monday, at least, I determined that I could easily replace the phone outlet and we'd be good to go.  Easy-peasey.

Until I got home with the new phone outlet, unscrewed the old one and realized that "holy cow; there were wires behind that face plate!"

See?! Wires!!

Not only that, the color of the wires on the old outlet and the new outlet didn't match.  And, about that time, I began to realize that this would involve electricity.  So, wisely, I opted to wait until Hubby came home to deal with the whole switching the outlets thing.

Somehow, he knew how to figure out how the different color wires went and we were back in business.

Or so we thought.

Despite the new phone outlet that securely held in the router wires we continued to have issues; apparently the entire time I was gone.  Did someone think to call AT&T back to have someone come out?  No, someone did not.

So today, I went back to work - blissfully ignorant of the whole "we are still having problems with the internet issue" until I came home.  And the damn internet was out AGAIN!

In a fit of pique, I snatched - well, that's not quite accurate as it implies it was an easy process....actually what I did was disentangle all the router wires from the phone wires and whatever other wires and moved the router to a completely different outlet (yes, I may have been thinking that Hubby didn't connect the wires properly in the first place).

And everything was working fine.  And then, I started working on this post.  And all I wanted to do was embed that little picture up above.  And I got an error...the internet connection was lost.

And then I cursed, long and loudly.

So now, even though it seems like I currently have internet access, guess who will be calling AT&T tomorrow - and spending an ungodly amount of time on the phone trying to reach a human - to have someone come out a replace their crappy router?

And so, without further ado (i.e., before I lose the connectivity again) I suppose I should just forget about telling you about the faulty screen door on the back porch which is letting in random, unsuspecting birds who get trapped OR about the kitchen sink which, for some unknown reason, is leaking randomly OR about how Man-Child's car has started randomly spewing gallons of transmission fluid AND the window is permanently stuck in the down position - necessitating that he use plastic constantly to cover the window because of all the damn rain we've been having.....  No, I suppose now would be the time to hit publish.

All while repeating to myself - "tomorrow will be better."