Lesson Learned.....until I forget again

This weekend found me irritable.  I don't know WHY (insert eyeroll here); but for some reason, every four weeks or so, I find myself in this state.

At any rate, it was the kind of irritable that meant whenever I looked at my dear, dear Hubby I wanted to kill him.  Even though, technically he'd done nothing wrong; except, you know, continue to breathe.

God, I feel sorry for that man.

At any rate, by Sunday morning I just knew I had to get out of the house before I blew.  So I took off bright and early to parts unknown.

That means I had no clue as to where I was going or where I would end up.

Before I began to drive aimlessly, I had a small bite to eat.  And then I stopped at Target because I knew I needed something new to read (since the last TWO books I've picked up were ones that I've recently read; I hate when that happens) and as I was headed to the checkout lane, I also picked up a bag of GummiBears.  Why?  I don't have a clue.  See the first paragraph.

And then the aimlessness began in earnest.  While scarfing GummiBears.

I pretty much just drove - with no destination.  And funnily enough, I never really arrived any where; but eventually I did find myself on the outskirts of Raleigh (a good two hours away from home) before I decided I should probably head back.  But during the course of my drive I ate the whole darn bag of GummiBears.  And pretty much felt slightly sick and bloated afterwards.

When I came home, I discovered that Hubby was still breathing - dammit.  So I settled myself on the back porch with my new book and read for a while.  Hubby, being the brilliant man that he is, wisely left me to my own devices.

But then?  Then a MAJOR sugar crash happened.  Out of nowhere.  I began to shake.  And I was STARVING. And felt faint.  I looked at the clock and realized that I hadn't had any "real" food in over seven hours; longer if you discounted that "bite" (truly - it was just a bite) I'd had that morning.  And then I had a sandwich.  Even after shoving that sandwich into my mouth, I still felt sick.  To the point that I had the cold sweats.  I ended up laying on the sofa for a bit.  Eventually, I began to feel human again.

There are two morals to this little story.  One.  A bag of GummiBears do NOT count as a meal - no matter how yummy they taste while you are scarfing them down.  And two, no matter HOW much your Hubby's breathing annoys you at the moment eventually you WILL be glad he is when he brings you food because you were dumb enough to eat a whole bag of GummiBears instead of lunch.

Eleven days and counting.......

Remember how I mentioned that my lazy susan cabinet, where Hubby keeps all his crap spices, broke way back on July 16th?  Right AFTER I'd cleaned all my counter tops off?

July 16, 2012

The following day my husband removed EVERYTHING from the cabinet and deposited it on the dining room table while he attempted to fix the cabinet.

Mid-repair job (a half ass repair job if you ask me, since he claims that the movable parts can't be fixed without taking out all the other cabinets.  He may be telling the truth, but I'm still not buying it - since his repair job will pretty much render the cabinet useless.) his drill broke.  Of COURSE it did.  That's the way it always goes.

Two days later, I sent Julie a text.....

July 19, 2012*

With the caption "How many days later? *sigh*"

I think this text came about because I told her I should totally steal her Luggage/Gate Watch idea.  Too bad you can't get to the original Luggage Watch posts....it was EPIC!  (How many days DID that luggage sit there, Julie?)

Julie, being Julie, laughed and told me she thought I SHOULD do a Watch post - because she's sweet like that.

I kind of shrugged it off and went on with the business of every day life.  Until this morning.

This morning it dawned on me.  The stuff from the cabinet is STILL sitting on my dining room table.....

July 27, 2012.  Yes, all that was in the one cabinet.  Don't ask me how.

EIGHT days later (eleven, if you count from the time the stupid cabinet broke in the first place)!!!

Now granted, our dining room table is pretty much only used for bill paying, homework, computer storage and not actual eating; usually, but still....

It should also be noted that you can easily see this mess from the front door should someone actually, you know, venture up to the front door in the first place.

I realize we are not currently in a position to run out and replace the drill (which, by the way, is only about a year old in the first place!  Don't tell me to take it back - I already tried that.  Apparently, not only did he NOT keep the receipt, he can't remember WHERE he got it from in the first place! Men!) especially since college costs are eating us ALIVE right now (speaking of which - anyone have a good laptop they aren't using and willing to donate to a poor, but deserving, freshman?) but seriously, how hard IS it to borrow a drill for the half hour (tops) it would take to render the cabinet useless finish the job?

So it's official.....Spice Watch 2012 is ON!  And now matter how much it pains me, while this plays out I will do my damnedest NOT to say a word to him about those spices littering my table.

But, I must admit, he HAS been keeping my counter tops relatively clutter free these days.

*My phone completely and totally takes the blame for the poor quality of the pictures.  Obviously, I had nothing to do with them!

The "Replacement" - Day Two

So, we are only two days in with the replacement of the greatest boss ever.

Thus far, I can say this.....he seems nice.  He didn't come in all blustery and with a let's do it MY way attitude.  For that he gets a gold star.  Especially as there are some attorneys (who shall remain nameless) that I know that would come in with exactly that sort of attitude.

He also gets points for listening to what I have had to say and, so far, seeming to value my input - again we refer to some attorneys who think that the "staff" is comprised of witless fools who do not know what they are doing and must be led by the hand in every little task.

He hasn't been completely thrown to the wolves yet.  But I have a feeling all that's about to change as I've noticed the Big Boss just throwing things in there late this afternoon and pretty much taking a hands off approach - but then again, he's a big boy who's been around the block a time or two and should know what he's doing by now.  And?  There's that knock down, drag out, all out war meeting that the new guy gets to attend tomorrow.  The meeting which one of those attorneys will be attending.  Fortunately, or unfortunately (depending on how you look at it), I get to be a fly on the wall at this meeting.  So, from that we shall get a glimmer of what his spine is made of - play-doh or steel.

Both of the other women that made our tight, little group are on vacation this week (thanks ladies - note the sarcasm) but one couldn't stop her curiosity.  She sent me a text first thing this morning asking what he's like.  What could I say?  At that point, I'd only known him for eight hours and ten minutes.  But by tomorrow afternoon, I might be able to give her a better picture.

But somehow, no matter what, I still don't think he's going to be able to walk in those heels.....but who knows.  Stranger things have happened.

Sometimes all you need to do is take that first step.....and then real life takes over and thwarts all your dreams

So, yesterday?  When I announced to the Internet at large that I was turning into a sloth?

Well, apparently, announcing to the world that I had become a lazy cow was the kick in the pants I needed to start getting some things done around here.

I didn't intend for it go as far as it did....I just thought if I did only one of the things from my list that I'd be satisfied.

So I did it.  I transplanted a plant.  It was such a small thing.  (Apparently, so small that I completely forgot to take the damn plant to the office this morning; which was the whole point of transplanting it in the first place.)

And then I decided to make cookies.  Partly because I had told Man-Child I *might* make cookies on Sunday and partly because I was already up off my behind.  But before I could begin on the cookies, I noticed that the kitchen was a right mess.

Oh sure.  The dishes were washed and everything looked clean.  On the surface.  But look closely at that toaster, if you would?  Notice the fingerprints?  The crumbs?  The smattering of grease that can only come from it being located too close to the range?

Well, before any cookies could be made that mess was just begging to be cleaned up.  After a thorough scrubbing of the toaster things just kinda escalated and before I knew it that kitchen was spotless again.  And Hubby may have gotten his feelings hurt.....I didn't mean for it to sound so harsh when I responded to his innocent question about what I was doing in "his" kitchen.  But it's true.  The kitchen WAS a nightmare.

From there the frenzy grew.  And now I am the recipient of a pretty clean house.  Oh no, it's not perfect by any means.  I spotted those dust bunnies cowering under the couch.  But I left them to live and breed another day....for now.  Because eventually the whirlwind that took my body over needed to stop.

Oh!  And the cookies?  Yes, they did get made.  Much to Man-Child's eternal delight.

But that feeling of satisfaction?  Of a job well done?  Of no longer being slothful?  AHMAZING!  But still....I may need to call in sick tomorrow....those dust bunnies can't wait much longer.

*****

Immediately after typing this the top half of the shelf of our lazy susan cabinet broke.  See?

And now, the top of my once pristine, CLUTTER-free cabinets is filled with the detritus from within....

And as I continue to type, all the stuff from the bottom shelf has been unloaded and added to the countertop as Hubby tries to fix the problem.  Unfortunately, the rest of the cabinets were built around this piece - so short of ripping out the surrounding cabinets, all we can do at this point is a "make-do" kind of fix...which means it will no longer be a lazy susan.....sigh.....real life once again thwarts my dreams of having a house worthy of being featured in a magazine.

Bits of fluff....

Forgive me, this is going to be one of those disjointed, rambling, pointless posts just to clear out all the fluff that has been accumulating in my brain.

Tomorrow the new boss starts.  He should know from the get-go that he has some mighty big (high heeled) shoes to fill.  I can't remember ever being in this position before.  I mean, I've had new bosses before obviously.  But in those scenarios, I am usually the new addition, not the other way around.  So despite the fact that he is the lawyer and the supervisor, I will be the one teaching him.  It's an interesting concept.  I do hope he's easily trainable.

Hubby has a new (to him) car.  Well, technically he does.  He finally found one in our price range (cheap, cheap, cheap) and bought it.  But he can't bring it home until he goes to have it registered, etc. tomorrow.  I don't envy him that task.  I know he is relieved to have his own car again.  It has been trying for the guys to have to share.  As much as I know he misses his truck, I'm sure we won't miss the gas bill that having the truck ensured.  And, hopefully, this cheap, cheap, cheap car will be a decent one until we can get back on our feet.

I have just realized that in almost one month we will be taking Man-Child up to the mountains to start school.  I have also realized that I have done absolutely nothing to prepare for this momentous occasion.  So yesterday, I dragged him to Target to try and begin to outfit his new digs.  And have reached the conclusion, that he doesn't really care about the color of sheets and towels.  Have also learned that until the school informs us of his dorm particulars I can't really buy sheets, etc. because some dorms have regular twin beds and some have extra-long twin beds; some have carpet and some don't and on and on and on.  So it seems that even if I were ready to deal with it all I can't.  Once again it will be a mad dash to get it all done because the school doesn't seem to be in any particular hurry to hand out room assignments.

One of my friends seems hell bent on ruining her life AND taking the time to ruin her friendships along the way.  I dared to send her an email saying that we were concerned and in return received a diatribe telling me that she was tired of everyone bashing her choices, etc.  I responded that all I had said was that I was concerned and hadn't bashed anyone.  For my trouble, I received a half-hearted apology along with a litany of excuses.  And then silence.  My birthday came and went without a call, a card, an email or anything - this from the woman who loves to celebrate everything.  To say my feelings are hurt and I'm a little mad is an understatement.  I can't understand why she is doing the things she's doing and pushing away the people that care.  I know it's all very cryptic and I really can't say anymore - but it's been weighing heavily on my mind.

I think it's safe to say that I've turned into a sloth.  Last week I used the excuse that it was too hot to do anything.  This week, I haven't had that excuse....yet, nothing is getting done.  I look around the house and see all the things that need doing; all the things I want to do....but just can't seem to find the energy or the "want to" to get it done - which is why I'm sitting here typing this pointless, rambling post - to procrastinate just a little bit longer.  Lately, it seems that the only things getting done are the "have tos."  Even when I took those few days off a week or so ago - I didn't accomplish anything although I did plan to - so I guess that counts as something.  This is most unlike me.  I can't figure out where my energy and drive has disappeared to but I wish it would come back.

Now that I've sufficiently emptied my brain (and bored you senseless in the process) I suppose I should go do at least one thing on my to-do list.  Maybe that will jump start my energy...or maybe I'll just finish reading that book.....

Computer Woes....and a shout out to those that do good for the world

Last night as I was preparing to go to bed (of course) Hubby informed me that the laptop had some kind of warning on it.

I sighed and went to look - this is what happens when you are the only semi-literate, semi-computer savvy person in the house, you are pulled from whatever it is you are doing to "fix" their problem.

And damned if that stupid computer wasn't infected with something AGAIN; a particularly nasty something, if I do say so myself (and, as a side note - these days it seems like every other day something is infecting that computer).

We have Norton to do our scanning - a service we pay dearly for I might add.  We also have several other free programs, as back up*.  I find it funny (funny, suspicious; not ha-ha) that on the big computer (the one the guys use) Norton always finds suspect issues in double digit numbers while on my small notebook it only finds issues in much, much lower numbers.  I also find it funny that the back up programs find stuff that Norton does not, but I also realize that there is only so much one company can do - which is why I rely on the others to help out....but I digress; as usual.

I tried and tried to save the computer last night - but once I realized I couldn't even open the operating system in "safe" mode exhaustion and self-pity took over.  I went to bed in tears because we certainly cannot afford to fix the computer at this point in time but yet, we can't go without it either.

This morning I woke up and made some coffee.  Then I steeled my spine and went back in.  By the time I had to stop and get ready for work the computer was still alive - but in somewhat critical condition.  As I left, I banned the boys from using it at all and to use mine if they had to; which in retrospect may not have been a good idea considering how ill they had made their computer.

After a particularly grueling day at work (don't ask - yesterday and today have totally kicked my butt) I came home and got back to work.


So after about 4 1/2 (total) hours of tinkering I think I have pulled that computer back from the brink of certain death, I have now imposed the rule of running a scan every night prior to going to bed.  But now I am thinking I really need to back up all those important pictures documents residing on that computer STAT.....and  that I might want to start running all those spyware, malware, etc. products on MY computer now that they've had their grubby, little paws all over it.


The lesson learned?  Don't let your clueless husband and teenage son use any computer that you have control over....or any other computer for that matter.  If you do, then YOU will have learn how to fix the damn things....whether you want to or not.


WHY is that random, stupid highlighting and odd spacing there?!  Blogger, you vex me more than words can describe.  Forget it.  I'm too tired to worry about it anymore tonight.  

*I would like to thank Norton, and the host of other unmentioned companies (which include CCleaner and Malware Bytes) for saving my sanity.  No, I was not compensated in any way - I just think that the good people out there who are fighting against the evil-hearted bastards who create these demons have my undying devotion and love and deserve a MAJOR shout out....unfortunately it's only me doing the shouting.

Something that made me laugh....a lot

The other day the whole family was driving through a small town when we came across this sign.....

It made me laugh so much that I had to go back (TWICE) to try and capture a clear picture (while trying not to look like a nut who was taking pictures of a random sign - I have to say, in that regard I failed completely).

The part that REALLY had me in stitches??

"We Know the Difference"

Yes, I am easily amused.

For those of you that are too young to have ever heard the expression slyly hinted at in the sign - you can find edification here and here.  Although, I must admit, even though I'd heard this colorful expression as a child I had no idea what Shinola was until I Googled it just now....now the phrase makes perfect sense....and I will probably be using it often since I seem to be surrounded by people who don't know the difference.

And for the record?  The property they are attempting to sell.....definitely not Shinola.

Randomness.....just because...and (or maybe because) it's HOT

It's hot.  Actually, it's beyond hot.  It's HOLY-HELL-WHEN-DID-I-MOVE-BACK-TO-TEXAS? hot.  And, according to the nontrustworthy weatherman, excuse me.... meteorologist, the heat isn't expected to break until early next week.  I may not make it, just so you know.

Everything is wilted.  Even the inside plants......well, that may be because someone has forgotten to water them regularly lately.....I'll need to have a chat with her; the inertia-inspired heat is NO reason to neglect the indoor flora.

The "Boy" is in a snit.  (Yes, he has been demoted from Man-Child to the Boy - you don't get he benefit of any terminology with the word "Man" in it when you are acting like a petulant two year old).  He refuses to give a reason or, for that matter, even admit that he's in a mood.  But I think I can guess.  All of his friends are out of town - off doing something fun.  And here he is.  With us.  His parents.  In a word?  He's BORED (and probably HOT).  Let this be a lesson to you (if you are still young enough to do something about it) have more than one child.  Apparently, they can benefit from having a sibling to torment keep them entertained, since as parents you are no longer as amusing or fun as you used to be back when he was two and wanted to be with you every minute of every day.

I'm officially on vacation.  Yay!  Emmm....not so much.  There really isn't anything to do (other than housework) and did I mention that it's HOT?

One of my friends is currently insane (maybe it's just the heat and she'll be fine next week?).  I'm hoping we can pull her back from the brink....but I'm beginning to wonder.  I don't need this kind of drama - there is enough for me to worry about without adding her to the list.

Hubby has just informed me that I "glare" at him (and the food) every time I ask him what he is making.  This is untrue.  He has also informed me that since I gave his pork roast the "evil eye" that it isn't cooking properly.  According to him, he has made this particular recipe many, many times without issue.....until I "glared" at it.  Personally, I think the unforgivable heat has gone to his head.

Oh, and did I mention?

It's HOT!

Day ONE.

What can I say about this week?

It's been hell?  Yeah, that might be an accurate description.  And we are only ONE day in.  AND I only have ONE more day until I'm off until next Tuesday.  I don't think I'm gonna make it.

Last Friday was the last day for my very favoritest boss ever!  


So that meant today we jumped right into life without her.  (Let's all have a quiet moment as we mourn her abandonment freedom)


The Big Dog (aka The Big Boss, aka whatever else he's been called in past posts) is taking over her duties until her replacement is hired.


(Which, between you and me, has already been done.  SSSHHHH!  Apparently, it's a secret.  We, the peons, aren't supposed to know yet.  He starts in two weeks and, according to a Google search that may or may not have been carried out - has a penchant for Metallica - interesting, wouldn't you say?  Especially for a lawyer that deals with the "business" side of things?)


The Big Dog's (aka The Big Boss, etc....) job usually entails monitoring the other lawyers and their cases.  He's good at what he does and for the most part he doesn't have to dive right in and get his hands dirty with the day-to-day details of lawyering.


Until today.  Well, to be accurate, until early Friday afternoon; as that's when she decided she was done and left early.  Because seriously?  What were they gonna do?


She left without much ceremony.  Although this tight, little group MAY have gathered for a moment.  There MAY have been a few tears shed and there MAY have been a few more after she walked out the door.  And we MAY have a picture to commemorate the moment...maybe.  That's all you will hear from me on that subject.

But today?  Today was when the emails and the requests started flowing to.....well, to ME!

Technically, they were supposed to flow to HIM; The Big Dog (aka The Big Boss, etc....).  But after all these years together people naturally put her and I together.  Kinda like Brangelina and TomKat (which I guess we can no longer call TomKat....since they are divorcing and all - and as an aside, REALLY?  Are ANY of us surprised?!).

I actually received a call today from someone saying, "So....I need some free legal advice....."

Ummm?!  I'm NOT an attorney!

And that's pretty much how it went from there.  Me getting emails and messages saying "HELP!"  And me taking said emails and messages to the Big Dog (aka The Big Boss; etc.) and saying "HELP!"

After about the hundredth time I went in saying "Big Dog?", I thought he was going to throw me out of his office.  Seriously.

Although our side of the legal department isn't the "high profile" side - our side is pretty busy nonetheless.  I think someone may have a whole new appreciation for that right about now.

And as for the "new" guy that no one knows about?  Well, I hope he's ready to dive right in.

And as for my favoritest boss ever?  I'm kinda irritated that she left all this behind.  And?  I already miss her like crazy.....

Especially since I can't just yell my questions into her office right across the hall.  No.  Now, I HAVE to get up and trot down the hall.  *sigh* I need some roller skates.


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And please forgive me for the random, white highlighting.  I don't know what in the hell Blogger has done now.