September 10, 2012

Dear God; I could REALLY use a good night's sleep. You know, one without any unexpected mishaps.......

I have just spent the past fifteen minutes hour going through my archives looking for a post that I'm SURE I wrote that would have relevancy to this post.  Either I didn't write it (although I CLEARLY remember writing it) or I just can't find it.  Maybe I should start using that "label" feature.....

At any rate, here we go.....sans a link.

In the past year or so, my husband has developed a bad....."habit" - for lack of a better word.

He has been lashing out in his sleep.  It doesn't happen every night.  Or even once a month.  It only seems to happen after I've let down my guard and quit sleeping ninja-style, with one eye open and an arm ready to fight back.  But when it does happen?  Oh boy.

He first started out by kicking me in his sleep.  Kicking me hard enough to wake me up.  ME.  The one who sleeps like the dead.  Seriously.  Once I'm asleep it takes a LOT to wake me up.

Annoying.  But innocent enough, right?

Then one night, there I lay sleeping so innocently, like a newborn babe really (you know, those rare times when newborns actually sleep) when he hit me in the back of the head.  And it HURT.  I had tears.

Fast forward a few months.....and then there was last night.

Last night he hit me in the nose.  HARD.  There were more tears and quite a bit of cursing.  And him falling back asleep mumbling, "I'm so sorry; I'm SO sorry.  It was a terrible dream.  Terrible....." while petting my head (his standard response whenever I wake him up in the middle of the night for a noise I heard, a dream I had or you know, when he hits me in the NOSE is to pet my head.  Idiot).

Like that was going to soothe my injured nose.....and pride.

Fortunately, it wasn't a full on punch as there is no bruising and only a slight, residual ache and which I am TOTALLY blaming this raging headache on today.

Of  course when I've brought it up many times in the cold light of day today he's brushed it off.  "Oh, you are FINE.  Look there is no swelling or bruising!  But it WAS a pretty bad dream......the devil was there and he was trying to kill me....."

Like I care what he might have been dreaming about.  This is my face we are talking about, dammit!  He could have broken my nose!  Not to mention the fact that I spent the remainder of the night jumping every time he so much as twitched.

So tonight, I'm prepared for him.  Not only am I going to start wearing this to bed....

Which will only add to the sexy that I'm already rocking in my baggy t-shirt and shorts......

But I'm also insisting that he wear one of these.....

Because next time, I might wake to find him choking me.  And that?  That ain't gonna happen.


  1. I hit Tony all the time when he sleeps. Otherwise I'd never get any sleep... it's the only way to get him to stop snoring. :)

  2. Ouch! I'm afraid I'm the one who does the lashing out at night, but it's been awhile. If it happens tonight, I'll blame you. :-)

  3. Eek! I think he might belong on the couch.

  4. Get him to the doctor and get him checked. This can be a symptom of a serious condition. If he checks out okay, make him sleep in MC's bed!

  5. Well, first of all, as we say in my house, "There's no such thing as a 15 minute job." which is why I would fully expect you to have that crossed out. (Seems everytime I need help and say it will only take 15 minutes... this is my husband's reply)

    My husband will NEVER fail to find whatever injury I have and then bump it, smack it, rub it or lay his heel on it in his sleep. Attempts to drag myself out from under the pain results in him holding on like a cat holds on if you try to drag a thread from under its paw... OUCH! or he follows me in my getaway until I'm barely on the bed. O.O

    My injury this week is a rope burn around my ankle I received while walking the dog last Thursday. I need to practice my Chinese jump rope moves, because I actually have a couple scars on that ankle from the exact same cause. Last night at the dinner table, he poked it with his socked toe. OUCH! Why'd you do that? Just wanted to see if it was still sore ????!!!! Some days he does the weirdest things...

  6. Oh dear Gigi,

    you are so much kinder than I am....I would just kick/hit back....if hes too asleep to know hes beating on me, then hes too asleep to know that Im doing it on purpose...
    good luck.