He obliged and even held the ladder as I climbed up with an old pillowcase to capture all that dust. Everything went like clockwork until one particularly large dust bunny escaped from the pillowcase and drifted into the glass covering the light kit.
As I gingerly reached into the glass to toss that offending dust bunny back into the pillowcase the entire light kit and glass covering fell into my hand. I panicked for a minute - I had no idea what to do. The Husband certainly couldn't climb the ladder with me on it - but I couldn't let go of the whole, tangled mess without it crashing onto the floor.
Once my brain unlocked itself, I realized I could unscrew the glass covering and hand it down and the actual light kit part could dangle freely until The Husband could put this unholy mess back together.
Until we got to the "put this unholy mess back together" part.
For whatever reason, we could not get that thing back together again - and the more I looked at the whole contraption the more convinced I became that the previous owner (it should be noted that I am still angry with those people over the whole blackberry bush fiasco) had done some kind of rigging on this fan - because nothing about putting this back together was normal. And they probably did it in order to put in the stupid light bulbs that s-l-o-w-l-y brighten that are EVERYWHERE in this house; the same ones I have been replacing left and right because I hate them with a passion (because when I want light, I want it NOW not five minutes from now!); almost, but not as much as I hate that damn blackberry bush; but it's close...so very close.
Eventually, it became clear that a run to Home Depot was in order *sigh*. I was in the middle of making two pound cakes; so that was my first priority. I waited for the cakes to finish baking, made the glaze; glazed them and then headed back into town - for the THIRD time today. Much to my consternation, The Husband declined to come with me. He felt that I understood the dilemma well enough. I also thought I had a thorough understanding of the dilemma...
Upon arriving at Home Depot I located an employee that could help me. I explained the dilemma, as I understood it. He grasped my problem immediately and told me that I didn't need a new light kit. He said all I needed was a longer "neck" and some washers. He explained the procedure and sent me on my way with all the knowledge and equipment that I would need to fix the problem.
When I got home and imparted all the knowledge the Home Depot man had shared - it became quite apparent that I did NOT have a complete grasp on the initial issue - because not one of the items I purchased was able to fix the problem. *sigh* And THAT was why I had wanted The Husband to come with me - what the hell do I know about ceiling fans?!
I may have uttered one or more expletives while exclaiming that I would NOT be making another run into town today.
And this is why three hours after I began the very simple task of dusting the fan - that stupid light kit is currently hanging on by a wing and a prayer - and possibly some electrical tape. And I might also be searching for an entire new fan and light kit - because this one needs to be set on fire...now.