December 16, 2011

I am envisioning a hobbling in the near future.....

Remember way back when I was complaining about my husband last year?  (Oh hush - I don't complain about him ALL the time.  But just to refresh your memory, I'm talking about when I was complaining about the pantry door and his concern with the canned goods getting hot.)

Well, today I am going to complain on a variation of the pantry door.

This man of mine; he moves things.  All.The.Time.  And I'm not even talking about his penchant for hiding things...again this time.

Currently, I have two complaints - and they do not involve the pantry door.  Apparently, at this time of year, it's cool enough in there for the canned goods and other various sundries.

My first complaint concerns the kitchen trashcan.

He loves to shove it right up against the cabinet.  There is no need for the trashcan to sit tight against the cabinet.  What happens after it sits up tight against the cabinet is that paint on the cabinet begins to wear after the trashcan lid has been opened over and over again......ask me how I know?  Apparently, this is not of concern to him (of course).

So we go through the same dance again and again and again.

I move it an inch away from the cabinet and he shoves it back.

It's not like we need that extra inch to navigate around the kitchen.  It's not like that extra inch is going to cause every movement in the kitchen to grind to a sudden halt. *sigh*

He also has the annoying habit of moving the rugs, decorative items AND, more importantly, the furniture.

Between you and me; it is driving me crazy.

Just last night, I called to his attention the fact that the couch had been moved......again.

Why?!

I put the couch in a certain spot for a reason.  After all this time, he should know that everything I do, I do for a reason.  Obviously, after over 20 years of marriage, this has Not.Sunk.In.

Now granted, the couch had only been moved an inch or two - but it was an inch or two off.  It was NOT in the right place.  It was too far away from the end table and too close to the door.  I'm sure you see the issue - even if he did not.  Apparently, this observation was way over his head.

Because do you know what that man (the one I actually married!) had the absolute NERVE to say after I asked my very innocent question??

Guess?  Go ahead.  You'll never get it (unless you happened to see a certain tweet last night)...






He told me that I reminded him of Kathy Bates' character in Misery.  When I stared at him with total incomprehension because....ummm, really?!

(spoiler alert!)

By my recollection I have NEVER saved someone's life, kept them prisoner while nursing them back to health, forced them to write a book to my specifications and, most importantly, I have NEVER hobbled anyone....yet.

But according to him I am "obsessive" about the furniture.

Umm, yeah...if the couch is too far away from the end table for you to reach or it's blocking a working door - then yeah....I might be a tad obsessive.

If the truth be told, I don't think I'm "obsessive" - I think it's more along the lines of he doesn't have vision.  In other words - he can't envision the "what-if's" in life.

If you are used to the couch being in it's proper spot then when you reach over to put your glass on the end table and it isn't there - then you have a mess.  If the couch should be partially blocking the door then how the hell do expect to get into the room?

See?  It's easy...I am a visionary and he is not.

And currently, I can envision that I am one inch of a moved couch away from hobbling......

13 comments:

  1. Whatever you decide to do, please be sure to take pictures to spice up the post. Hobbling sounds like a perfect fit for the crime... :-)

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  2. According to your recollection.... Could it be that you just don't recall and perhaps he is saving your from yourself?

    He wants to be in charge of something, to have the final say on something...to contribute. I understand him. Every time we try to make an 'improvement', the wife comes in bellowing, "What the hell are you doing!" It's like we don't count.

    That's one theory. The second is that is trying to slowly drive you crazy. I think there was a movie about that too.

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  3. Gigi, I can't say a word because I AM OBSESSIVE! For example, Hubby is great at washing the dishes, which is good. However, there is only one acceptable way to put them in the drainer and that's MY WAY. (that's just one example, I have MANY more) I don't mess in his garage (much) or the storage building. He can rule those kingdoms. I am in this house 24/7 and until he is here 24/7, he doesn't get a vote.

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  4. Har! 'Obsessive' was the word I was thinking too while reading your post. You guys should give the Discovery Channel a call about your idea for a new reality show...Gigi and the Kids (or perhaps OCD Wars: Battle for Furniture Control).

    May I suggest to your husband that perhaps he should hide any hammers or other instruments of hobbling..

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  5. I literally laughed out loud reading this post...because you were describing ME! Seriously, I think you're my long lost twin. By any chance would you be a "type A" personality? hahaha

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  6. Do you have a camera inside my house? How in the world do you keeping writing about my life?

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  7. The more I read your blog, the more I realize I'm normal or we're both half crazy! LOL!

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  8. I'm a little bit frightened, but I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of a man who doesn't get it or a woman with the capacity to hobble. I mean I would hobble someone in a second, but we all know how I am!

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  9. Having the furniture too far away from the side table is clearly wrong. You have to be able to reach your drinks (that are on a coaster, of course).

    Men are silly.

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  10. Ack! Ensuring that the couch does not block a doorway is not obsessive!

    Let me talk to him, Geej. :-) We need to set that man straight.

    Pearl

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  11. This was hilarious! I'm laughing with you right? No? My husband and I have the same type of battles. He likes to push our kitchen table and benches against wall almost daily. I don't get it. I just have to pull it out--again!--several times a week. If only he would see the wisdom of my ways. :)

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  12. Too funny. I move our furniture all the time

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  13. I would not like our furniture moved. That would irk me.

    Although when we first set up the furniture, Tom has a set way of wanting to have it that's completely different from mine. We eventually compromise.

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