I'm sure the copious tears were a culmination of events in addition to the horrible news.
You know how you feel after waking up from a crying jag? No? Is that only me? Well, today I awoke to that awful feeling of hollowness and a stuffy head from all the crying.
Then I read the paper (I have GOT to quit doing that!) and discovered that a local boy who has been missing, thought to have just "taken off" out of a fit of anger, was found dead - in an apparent suicide (it hasn't been confirmed yet though). It seemed that I wouldn't be shaking off that hollow feeling any time soon.
I guess the reason this struck me so much was that he is local, he's about the age of my son and the fact that one of my co-workers knew the boy and his family well.
Needless to say, today that hollow feeling has been with me all day and I've been on the verge of tears - all day.
I remember well what it was like in high school. I remember how even the most insignificant faux-pas could be devastatingly mortifying. I remember the magnification of EVERY. SINGLE. THING. I remember the cruelty - the "us" and "them" attitudes. The "ins" and the "outs". The teasing; the taunting.
And to think, I remember all this and I wasn't even picked on in school! I was just kind of ignored. I had my little circle of friends and it was okay.
Then you add in the cell phones with cameras, social media, YouTube - all the various ways that your mortification can be immortalized and shared on the world-wide web.
As much as it sucked to be a teenager way back when - it must be a hundred times harder today.
From all reports, this kid was well-liked. Didn't have problems in school; had plenty of friends. And yet....something apparently made him think this was the only answer.
My heart bleeds for him. For his family. For his friends.
Also, needless to say, we will be taking the time to talk to our son. To remind him (again and again and AGAIN) that no matter the problem, no matter the anxiety, no matter WHAT - that suicide is NEVER a remedy. There is always a solution to whatever you may be facing. It may not be easy, but there IS a solution. We will take the time to remind him that even if he feels he can't come to us - there are plenty of people he can he can talk to that love him and support him.
So, tonight, I ask that you keep this family in your hearts and TALK to your children. Remind them of just how precious life is and how that there is always a better way to resolve your problems.
As for my friend? Well, we are waiting and hoping for the best of outcomes - and, if you can find room in there, please keep her and her family in your hearts as well.