"NO WIRE SHELVING!"

 Quick - name what famous book/movie that had the above paraphrased line in it?  I have a feeling you will all know that answer.

This post is brought to you courtesy of Kari, who mentioned in the comments of my last post that her pantry has wire shelving and hinted at the fact she didn't like it. Me too, Kari, me too.  I hate it.

I imagine a great majority of us have that wire shelving tucked away into our pantries, closets and garages.  I also imagine that a great majority of us despise that wire shelving for many reasons.

Things fall through the slats, clothes that are stacked on them get "dents," most of the organizers sold are also wire shelving and they can't sit properly ON wire shelving, etc. - the list is endless.  But, here's why we all have them - they are cheaper than using wood.

A couple of years ago - not quite back at the beginning of the pandemic - I must have been cleaning out that stupid pantry once again and got fed up with the whole wire shelves experience and went about finding a solution.  My first thought was wood shelves.  That idea was quickly discarded.  Then I wondered about having planks cut to sit on top of the wire shelves.  But that idea was also quickly tossed.  The expense, and figuring out how to cut the wood to fit, etc.

After much pondering (yes, I spend quite a bit of my time pondering on little annoyances and how to fix them, if you were wondering), I finally hit upon the perfect solution (which I meant to blog about back then; but....life goes on and it must have slipped my mind).  I ordered some foam board and extra blades for the box cutter for curbside delivery.  I figured if this makeshift "fix" didn't work at least I wasn't out of a ton of money.

(As an aside - I LOVE curbside delivery and I hope it never, ever goes away.)

Once I got the board home, I set about measuring each shelf and cutting the foam board to fit.  And yes, those extra blades for the box cutter are necessary because that foam board will dull the blade a lot sooner than you think.  I know this because I ended up needing to order more blades.

Because of the length of the shelves, I used packing tape to keep the panels together and everything fit snugly in the "lip" of the shelves.  So nothing could shift.

And it all worked perfectly.  And, shockingly, that makeshift "fix" is still holding up a couple of years later.  And every time I have to reorganize that pantry (which is like laundry; never ending), I am so pleased that I have a steady, sturdy surface to work with.

So there you go - an easy and inexpensive fix to those dumb wire shelves.  Do you spend as much time as I do trying to figure out how to fix those nagging, little issues that plague you as much as I do?  (I doubt it)

Pantry Organizing

 I suppose we can file this under "My Exciting Life" because I mean, obviously this is how I CHOSE to spend 2.5 hours of my day off this morning...

My husband, God love him, seemingly cannot help himself when it comes to over-buying dry goods and recognizing that our storage space for such items is finite.  I shouldn't complain as he does all the grocery shopping and cooking.  And I appreciate every single bit of that; I do.

But...

The state of our pantry was deplorable.  It was dark and crowded with stuff crammed in everywhere.

Well, the only reason it was dark is because there was so much stuff crammed in there that we couldn't reach the light switch.  The one we keep forgetting we have because there is just SO MUCH stuffed into this little closet.

A good blogger would have had a "before picture" - I am not a good blogger.  Instead, I grabbed the step stool and jumped in head first.

I surmised that some of the "systems" I set in place were not being used properly and were just taking up valuable real estate.  So I removed the organizer for the freezer bags, foil, cling wrap, etc.  I also removed the cute, little container that was supposed to hold his tea bags.  He never used the cute, little container.  Instead, he would just set a box of tea ON TOP of said container. *sigh*

I set about re-organizing what I could and making notes for possible solutions.  And now, here is where I introduce the evidence, if you will, of just how much this pantry is over-stocked, while cautioning you to keep in mind that there are only TWO of us living in this house.

• 11 cans of artichoke hearts
• 7 unopened boxes of rice
• 2 boxes of opened rice
• 5 unopened jars of peanut butter; 2 of which expire this year
• 2 jars of peanut butter (to be fair, one is crunchy and one is creamy)
• 13 cans of tuna
• 16 cans of clams - 5 are minced and 11 are baby clams
• 3 opened bags of corn meal
• Too many cans of tomatoes (diced, crushed, paste, whatever) to count
• Ditto for the pasta, bagged rice and beans
• Far too many bags of chips/snacks.  Most of which just held stale crumbles (those were tossed)

I have seen nary an artichoke make an appearance in any meals since...I can't remember when. 

I do love peanut butter but even I can't possibly be expected to eat 2 extra jars before the year is up.  I have decided to whip up a BUNCH of peanut butter cookie batter to freeze and request that chicken dish he makes with some peanut sauce to fix that problem. 

As for the tuna - which we haven't had in forever - I guess we need to start having tuna salad for lunch more often.

He likes to claim that "in the event of an emergency, we won't go hungry."  And he's right; we won't.  But we are sure going to get tired of eating pasta, peanut butter, clams, tuna and artichoke hearts in a hurry.

Here's the "after" photos; which still look like a hot mess.

Top half

Bottom half

I think I am going to buy a couple of lazy susans - I think it would be easier to sort through my baking ingredients on the bottom shelf and maybe a couple for that tippy-top shelf where, "theoretically" the "extra" items are stored.

I'm also re-thinking the current use of bins.  I thought about getting one of those can organizer things, but ultimately tossed that idea as I can't see him using one and it would end up just taking up more space.  The same thought with those can "riser" things...there are just too many cans of whatever in there for that to work.

So spill the tea - is your pantry spotless and perfect?  If so, what organizers work best for your family?

The IT Girl / The Escape Room - Book Reviews

There are many aspects about blogging that I love so very much.  But I think seeing what everyone else is reading and recommending is probably in the top 10.

And while all of our tastes in reading material may differ - and that's fine! - it also opens your eyes to something new that *might* draw you into a different genre.

But, for some of us, we find ourselves on the same page (sorry, not sorry - I couldn't resist) regarding reading material. 

This is why I am happy to present my review of The IT Girl by Ruth Ware; which Suzanne so kindly sent my way.  Because Suzanne and I, it seems, are on the same page when it comes to reading material.

I recall reading The Death of Mrs. Westaway by the same author; which I thoroughly enjoyed (but most likely did not post about for the simple reason that if I don't post about it immediately, I will completely forget to do so - no matter how much I enjoyed it - as I have moved on to something else.  Yes, this means I probably have a lot of "holes" in my Books I Love Enough to Tell You About list) and was looking forward to reading this novel.

Friends, it did not disappoint.  I loved it.

It all began when Alice Clarke-Cliveden and Hannah Jones met each other as roommates for their first term at Oxford.  From there they created an inseparable group of friends.  Alice was dead by the end of the first term.

A decade later, the porter who was convicted for the death, died in prison.  Hannah, whose key testimony convicted him, is relieved that this bit of her past is finally completely behind her.  So imagine her shock when a journalist contacts her to present new evidence that he may have been innocent.  As she begins to doubt her testimony, she reconnects with the old group of friends only to discover that they, the people she thought she knew best, all had something to hide.

This novel jumps back and forth between the past and the present, which can sometimes be annoying for me, but worked perfectly in this story.  There were lots of twists to this story and ended with a surprise to me.  I admit, I'm usually not looking to "solve the puzzle" while reading but I usually figure out who did it; that was not the case with this book.

It's a solid read and I heartily recommend it.  Thank you, Suzanne!

Next up, we have The Escape Room by Megan Goldin.

As you might surmise (correctly) that title alone forced the book to jump from the wall of books I was perusing right into my hands.  And it did not disappoint; not one little bit.

I was shocked to discover this was a debut novel.  Every novelist must dream of writing such a book.  She succeeded.  I have since discovered that she has authored four other books since this one came out in 2018.  I am putting them ALL on my To Be Read List; particularly after Suzanne responded to my comment on her most recent post on A Novel Project that she read Stay Awake and couldn't put it down - so it seems Megan Goldin is not a one hit wonder.

Five books in five years?  Is she the female equivalent of Stephen King?  Perhaps.

This story takes place in the very lucrative and very cutthroat world of finance.  Our main characters have swallowed the Kool-Aid and are very focused on closing each and every deal...and despite the fact that they are a "team" they are looking out for their own interests; always first and foremost.

They are all "invited" (read commanded) to participate in an escape room challenge as a "team building" exercise. 

As an aside, can we all agree that team building exercises need to be eliminated from the corporate world?  No?  Just me?  Well, after this book I will be finding a reason to be excused from any and all team building exercises from here on out.

At any rate, they all show up (the fools) and crowd into the elevator - not realizing the elevator IS the escape room...until the lights go out and, as the hour grinds on - and is then exceeded, they begin to realize this is no ordinary escape room.  And that only one of them might make it out alive.

I put my seal of approval on this debut novel - I loved it.

So what are you reading these days?

Not Quite Done...But Getting There.

The great Christmas stocking project is almost to the finish line but hasn't quite made it there yet.

Why?

Because someone was in SUCH a hurry to start this project they neglected to read a very important part of the instructions (yes, that someone would be me) - and now I'm faced with a difficult decision - finish it as is or figure out a way to finish off the personalization bit - the whole point of this project to begin with - (hopefully without pulling out any stitches - I realize this is a pipe dream).

When I started this project (counts on fingers) seven months ago at the end of August, I naively thought I'd be done in PLENTY of time for Christmas 2022 - as we all know, that did not happen.  I also thought, at that time, that I'd make stockings for ALL of us.  HAHAHAHAHA.  No, that will not be happening.

Well, maybe...but only if I can find a kit that isn't quite as elaborate as this one was.  The Husband, half kidding, said he couldn't believe I had the patience to finish this...insinuating that I might be a tad bit impatient at times.  Well, he's not wrong there but, he neglected to remember just how stubborn I can be...which is really probably the only reason this project has gotten this far.

So here's where we are with this project - all the stitches are done.  All that's left is to figure out if I want to deal with personalization (once I realized that I'd, in all probability, never make another - I thought about just using the family name and using it as a Christmas decoration) and to actually put the stocking together.  

Knowing that if/when I personalize the darn thing I won't post it without a redaction of said name, I figured I'd share the almost done piece.

Honestly, the picture doesn't do it justice.

Despite the fact that I messed up the whole personalization of the thing, I'm pretty pleased with the results.

Even after I complained about how much I despised doing detail stitches, these weren't terribly tedious as some others I've done.

And, as you can see from the next two photos - the (tedious) detail stitches ARE pretty important to a project.

Without detail - the rabbits, the doll and the bear look
positively creepy.

With detail - although, the doll...still a bit creepy.

And with that - I'm hanging up my needle for a bit; after seven months I think I need a break.

Saturday Chatter

 Everyone settle in with your preferred beverage because this will, most likely, be a post that meanders from topic to topic - you've been warned.

Like most of you (I assume), when something new in the world of drug store mascara pops up on my radar I immediately want to try it.  A couple of weeks ago, as I was scrolling through Instagram, I saw a post about L'Oréal Telescopic Lift mascara and how much the poster loved it - so on my next trip to the drug store, I bought it.

I am here to tell you - don't waste your time or your money.  Well, I guess it's up to you but, for me, this mascara was an epic fail for a couple of reasons.  One, it seemed a bit pricey for drug store mascara; strike one.  Despite the interesting brush - which seemingly SHOULD have worked to separate the lashes (it didn't) the product was very gloppy; strike two.  Finally, whenever I buy mascara, I triple check to make sure I don't buy accidently buy waterproof - so when I went to remove it that night I was shocked to discover that even with cold cream this stuff did not want to come off my lashes; strike three.

So, for now, I'll stick with one of my three current favorites.  

And speaking of drug stores...I don't know if it's just my local CVS or if it's this way across the board.  But our CVS has to be the most boring drug store ever.  Never mind the fact, that whole shelves are just sitting empty for whatever reason.  When possible, I love to poke around in a drug store to see what they have - but ours has absolutely nothing that appeals to me.  It has the basics and that's it - which, I suppose, is good for my bank account as there are rarely any impulse purchases when I visit.  But the other day, I wandered into Walgreens when I was on that side of town and it was a delight.  And yes, impulse purchases were made.

Including a planner - as per usual, I am optimistic that THIS planner will be the one that keeps me on track and organized.  The only difference is this year, I waited until we were halfway through February before buying one (instead of ordering the wrong year AGAIN in December).  We shall see if this planner works magic (doubtful).

You can all rest easy now because The Hoarder Husband has finally gone through his closet and he now has extra hangers in his closet.  We shall all offer up a prayer of thanksgiving that it never occurred to him that he could go buy more hangers.  I was pleased - particularly since he took it upon himself after he finally realized that I meant business - until I went into his closet to put away laundry and happened to look up.  Apparently, since he didn't have hangers or space in his drawers, at some point he started squirrelling away random pieces of clothing on the upper shelves. *sigh*

I finished that challenging puzzle (featured in the link in the previous paragraph) 

but much to my dismay... I somehow lost a piece.

For anyone keeping a record (and that would be me) this is the SECOND puzzle this year where I have somehow managed to lose a piece (HOW?!  There are no pets or small children in this house to blame).  I've searched high and low - the piece(s) are no where to be found.  Very frustrating.  I'm very tempted to order another one just to see if I can somehow keep all the pieces from disappearing.

But puzzling will need to wait because I'm still working on that Christmas stocking.  By my best guess, there are about 1,500 stitches left - not counting all the detail stitches (I hate detail stitches - but that's what "makes" the project...) so I'm guessing we can count on this finally being done in, I don't know...April?

A Noise Downstairs: A Novel - Book Review

I picked up A Noise Downstairs: A Novel by Linwood Barclay from the library this past weekend and devoured this book.

In fact, I ended up staying up far too late last night trying to finish it.

The story revolves around a college professor, Paul Davis.  Late one evening, he notices a colleague's car driving erratically and, out of concern, follows him to see if he can offer assistance.  Instead, he stumbles into a horrifying event where he very nearly lost his own life.

After which he suffers from PTSD.  While trying to recover both mentally and physically, he becomes inspired to write about the incident; thinking that if he looked at it head on, he could begin to actually recover from the horror.

In attempt to cheer him up and support his decision his wife, Charlotte, gives him an old fashioned typewriter.

And that's when the trouble really begins...

If you are looking for a book that pulls you in from page one with suspense, a couple of twists (that I didn't see coming) and thrills; I heartily recommend that you read this one.

Vexations

 Good gravy - it's been a month since I last posted?!  I guess it's a good thing this is a hobby and not a job!

What's been keeping me busy.

It all started with a puzzle received at Christmas.  This is the fourth puzzle and this one is giving me fits in that I can't seem to find all the edge pieces.  Ah well, it'll get solved eventually.

***

The dryer has been making a low-key odd noise for about a week or so.  I've been ignoring it - hoping it would go away.  As you may have surmised, it has not.  And today it decided to turn up the volume on the odd noise.  I have no choice now but to get someone out here to look at it.  Luckily, I can do this online - but there is the whole "We'll be there between 8 am and 5 pm" nonsense that I'll have to work into my schedule somehow.

***

On Friday morning, I could not get my work computer to wake up for love or money.  I tried everything I could think of - while trying to avoid calling the "global help desk."  Finally, I had to cave and call.  This is what vexes me the most about the help desk - every single time - WITHOUT FAIL - they ask me the basic questions (all of which I had already tried) and then tell me they will open a ticket and have someone local call me.  Ummm...then why do we need the global help desk?  And sure enough, once a local IT person called, she had a very easy fix - which I would have assumed the people at the help desk could have suggested first.

Honestly, what aggravates me the most is that I know for a fact that our local IT is pretty great and I also know that this department is going to be a victim of a massive downsizing in the future.  What will the global help desk do then?  

***

The Happy Couple are doing their level best to drive me out of my mind.  How, you ask - well, they have secured a venue for the wedding...TWO days after Thanksgiving.  I'm guessing they went with this date because that's when the venue was available.  I realize I wasn't thrilled when they announced the original date of November 18 (the weekend prior to Thanksgiving)  - but now I'd be DELIGHTED if it were the 18th.

I have not - and will not - say a word about it.  But I had hoped the loud mouth love of my life, The Husband, would.  He has not and, shockingly, has no plans to do so  (which is shocking in that, nine times out of ten, he has no problem opening his mouth and letting words fall out) Then I figured surely her mother would - as far as I know, she hasn't.  Or maybe she has and has been ignored.

I understand that The Fiancée wants a "fall" wedding (although this date is actually veering into the "winter" timeline, I think.) and Man-Child refuses to have the wedding until after the high school football season is over.  But Thanksgiving weekend?  One of the busiest travel weekends of the year?  None of it makes sense to me; at all.

I'm sure the venue they've selected is beautiful - but it's in the middle of nowhere in the mountains.  And she keeps mentioning maybe having the wedding outside.  Two days after Thanksgiving, in the mountains, on the verge of winter.  So now we are asking people to travel here - then get in a car and drive nearly two hours (or four depending on which airport they fly into) to arrive at the venue/hotel and then (maybe) subject them to the cold for the service?  

I doubt they've even given any thought to the fact that this date may actually deter people from attending.

As I've said - I am not going to say a word, it is their wedding - not ours.  That's why I am here telling you. It will all work out fine in the end, I am sure.  But TWO days after Thanksgiving?!  Have they lost their minds?

I wonder just how much it would take to convince them to elope.  But with my luck, I'd pay them off, they'd elope and then want the reception two days before Christmas.

***

In his own way, The Husband is also doing his level best to drive me crazy.

I made a very firm rule several years ago.  I determined that I would not buy any more hangers.  Ever.

Yes, I realize that this sounds like a ridiculous and insane rule - but hear me out - this rule keeps my closet in order.  Generally, I have extra hangers in my closet - but if for whatever reason I don't; that means it's time to purge.  New things had come in via Christmas, and I needed to have a clear out.  Which is exactly what I did the other night when I couldn't sleep.

This rule though is a problem for The Hoarder Husband.  After I finished laundry the other afternoon, I couldn't find a hanger in his closet for a pair of his jeans (a pair of jeans that are so ratty I've forbidden him from wearing them out of the house) - so I left them on the bed.  When asked about it (while I was brushing my teeth), I reminded him of the rule and mentioned that he needed to go through the closet the next day and get rid of some things - before I could even finish the sentence he said that he had to go *insert random place here* the next day.  So I said that he could do it when he came home.  He immediately replied, "I'm not coming home." (imagine a petulant five year old saying it; because that's exactly what he sounded like) I almost choked on the toothpaste, I was laughing so hard.

I laughed again when he came home the following day and the first words out his mouth were, "I'm not really here."

I haven't yet forced him to do that clear out yet; but it IS coming.

In theory, I should just go through everything and toss/recycle - but these are not MY clothes, so this isn't a job for ME.  His thought process is this - yes, those pants don't fit but "one day" they MIGHT.  Or, "this is my FAVORITE shirt!" Never mind that it is falling apart at the seams.

Maybe we can compromise and I will lay out what I think needs to go and he can have the final say.  It might be the only way to get this task completed.  I guess it would be a good use of our time as we wait for the dryer repair person to show up...

Clothing Chatter

 This post is brought to you courtesy of Suzanne.  In her last post, she mentioned that she is on the hunt for cute tops.  In my response, I mentioned a shirt that I recently bought and love.  I feel that I fell short in my description of said shirt.  Then she wondered if I would post about cute shirt finds.

Unfortunately, I only have the one recent cute shirt find. But, luckily for you, I have plenty to say on the subject of clothing.

I am still not going anywhere I absolutely don't HAVE to - which means that the odds of me stumbling over a cute top in the wild are slim to none.  Which leaves me to online shopping.  The problem with online shopping is that unless you are VERY specific about what you are looking for, you just end up scrolling aimlessly.

I stumbled across the shirt mentioned above because of a J. Crew ad on Instagram.  I saw the shirt and scrolled on by...but I kept thinking about it.  So much so, that I eventually caved and clicked the link.  Friends, don't click the link because then forevermore you will only see multiple ads from that retailer.

But then again, that won't matter so much, because once you succumb and purchase said item you will then be BOMBARDED with emails from the retailer.  Someone needs to inform all these marketing departments that there IS such a thing as overkill.

At any rate, I have scoured J. Crew's website and it appears this particular top in no longer available which is sad because 1) you can't order it and 2) that means I have had to figure out a way to take a decent picture of it...and we are all well aware that I am not a photographer.

Wide button-collar tunic sweatshirt in
cloudspun fleece.  I swear it's
cuter in real life.

What I love about this shirt:  I'm a sucker for a detailed neck line.  I love that it doesn't have a banded or boxy hem line.  And that it doesn't look like a sweatshirt but that it is still cozy.  On me, this shirt is long enough that I could wear it with leggings and feel like everything is covered; but your mileage may vary.

Speaking of leggings - let me ask, those of you who wear leggings...where do you put your "stuff?"  Since the beginning of the pandemic I've quit carrying a handbag.  Generally, if I have to go anywhere I just grab my keys, wallet and phone.  When I'm wearing jeans, keys go into the front pocket, the phone in my back pocket and wallet in my hand.  

As I (and Suzanne) are still currently on the hunt for cute tops, I figured we'd crowd-source this mission.  So, please share your favorite places to find clothes.

I am also on the hunt for quality, long sleeve tee shirts.  Usually, I just buy them from Target but, here's the deal, the quality is terrible (I know, I know - you get what you pay for, but it's gotten ridiculously bad).  I bought one shirt this summer and, I kid you not, in under ONE hour that shirt had holes in it from rubbing against the button on my shorts.  This winter, I've found a solution of sorts - I just wear a tank under the top and, so far, that seems to help.  But that is not a long term solution, particularly since the summers here are so warm that there is no way I am going to wear two shirts then.  So that's the second issue I want to crowd-source - have you found quality tee shirts?  If so, please share.

And since we are chatting about clothing; feel free to share - what are you a sucker for when it comes to clothing?  Clean lines?  A fun neck line?

2022 Christmas and Surprise Party Recap

 Christmas 2022 has been put to bed *dusts hands* and now I am in recovery mode.

As much as I love Christmas, this year I'm kind of glad it's behind me.  This year, for some reason, I was frazzled, disorganized and felt frantic every single day since Thanksgiving; which is not the way I want to feel for the entire run up to the big event.

But, that's just how it was this year.  What are you gonna do?  Learn from it, I suppose.

Despite my panic, it all turned out fine and was lovely.  As it usually does.

So, now that you know that; let's turn to the few things that worked for me this year.

Freezing cookie dough.  This was a HUGE time-saver for me and something that I will definitely be doing again next year.  In fact, I will probably freeze even more dough next year.  Although, I don't think the spritz cookies would do that well.  So, I'm thinking I will make a batch soon, freeze it and see what happens.  Either it won't work or it will.  We'll see.

Amazon.  I know.  But here's the deal, buying most of the gifts from Amazon meant that they all showed up on time.  Even better?  The few things that I had to return?  So easy.  And only one (non-existent) line to stand in.  That kind of convenience makes it worth it for me.  I HATE returning things on a normal day.  Returning things after Christmas?  I don't even want to think about it.  On Wednesday, I popped into The UPS Store with the items (unboxed), showed them the UPC code and walked out the door in under five minutes.  Again, convenience - worth it.

The other thing that I think I knocked out of the park was this gift...

Not their names, obviously.
But maybe future blog names?

I was so happy with how this gift turned out.  Not an plug/ad in any way, shape or form.  If I remember correctly, I bought this from Wedding Tree Guestbook on Etsy.  They had many beautiful items and the shipping was free and quick.

Turning from Christmas and onto the surprise party for my friend two doors down.  In a nutshell, we missed it completely.  

I was gutted.  Around 8:30 pm on Wednesday evening, I got a text from her husband; while I was sitting on the couch, in my pajamas, watching a movie with The Husband.

The text said, "We are upstairs."  And instantly, I knew.  For whatever reason, I had thought the party was on Thursday; which I thought was odd since her birthday was on the 28th.  I was SO convinced that I had even sent him a text on Monday night to confirm what time we should be there on Thursday.  He responded with 7:00 pm.  No mention of Wednesday (not that we are blaming him - this is all on me).   I was so upset and when The Husband absolutely refused to entertain the idea of getting dressed and heading over to at least make an appearance, I immediately (and unfairly) transferred my irritation with myself to him.  It was not a happy evening in this house, let me tell you.

Although, she tells me it's okay and that it's fine.  It is NOT fine by me and I'm still mad at myself for this mistake.

But now it is time to face the New Year.  I look at all your posts and you are already there; but much as with Christmas this year, I'm already running behind on facing the New Year; well, I still have tomorrow to do that, I suppose.

A Christmas Snafu Avoided...narrowly

The last of the Christmas gifts landed on the porch yesterday, much to my relief.  I set the boxes aside and went about my day, wrapping up the last of the baking so that treats could be delivered to the intended recipients today.

Late last night, I sat down to open the boxes and wrap a few gifts.  I had ordered a few things intended for the stockings.  Of those things ordered were novelty Christmas socks for Man-Child and The Fiancée.  The one pair I ordered for Man-Child was fine.  Blue with Santa's all over them.  Cute, right?

Then I pulled The Fiancée's socks out of the box - the ones with a very cute pattern and what I thought was prancing reindeer.

Friends.  Those reindeer are NOT prancing.

What I am saying is that these are not socks that are Rated G.  

My husband about fell over when I showed him the socks.  And wondered HOW I mistakenly ordered X-Rated socks.  This is what happens when you are in panic-buying mode, people.  I looked at the tiny pictures of the novelty socks (without reading the titles because...they are Christmas SOCKS, for crying out loud!) and just assumed that this particular pair was another cute pair of socks.

So, I guess I am now the proud owner of Reindeer Getting Frisky socks, since I obviously can't put them in her stocking.

And now, I am picturing a day, far in the future, the children will be cleaning out my things after I am gone and coming across these socks....