July 5, 2010

If wishes were horses.......

I was having a discussion with Man-Child about something completely random - apparently so random that I can't even remember what we were talking about - when all of a sudden he pops up with "You keep giving me a hard time about not wanting my picture taken but where are all the pictures of you when you were a kid?" (yeah, apparently he's prone to switching gears mid-conversation.  Kind of like his mom....)

The sad fact of the matter is I don't have any.  I have a few that my aunt sent me after my mom died.  But that's it.  My mother had albums, upon albums, upon albums filled with pictures from before I was even born.

I remember when I flew home - my aunt had called to tell me that my mother was in a coma and that I should probably come.  We didn't exactly know what was wrong.  The nearest we can figure is that she had a stroke.  She never woke up.  She died January 29, 1999.  To be completely honest, I was surprised that she had lived as long as she had considering the way she lived her life.  She was only 55.

Before I left I was given the family bible, her wedding rings and a few pieces of her jewelry - trinkets, really.  Little did I know that was all I would ever get.  Not that I wanted much.  I just wanted the pictures.

My mother, in her infinite wisdom, drew up her own will without the assistance of an attorney.  Let me tell you now - if you don't have a will, or think you can do your own - forget it.  Hire an attorney.

My mother had decided that she would leave the house to my brother and me but if her husband (the bastard) was still alive that he should be able to live there as long as he wanted or until he died.

When I left my brother said he would take care of everything.  I should have known.

Apparently, after I left the husband moved in with some woman.  Almost immediately.  And rented out the house.  My brother, you know the one who was going to take care of everything?  Did nothing.

Apparently, the house has been sold.  I looked it up online - it belongs to someone else now.  And has for quite some time.

So what happened to all my mother's things?  Those pictures that she treasured?  Who knows.

Her last wishes were violated and her children received nothing.  All I have now are the few little things that my aunt insisted I take at the time.  I wish she'd insisted that I take some of those pictures.  I wish I'd thought to pack them up and ship them home.

19 comments:

  1. Oh that's so sad! Would it be worth contacting the owners of the house to find out it they know anything about maybe what was left in the house??

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  2. I feel your pain and I can definitely relate! My Dad begged me to take things, before he and my Mom passed away. (3 weeks apart) I couldn't let myself do it, as long as they were living. Needless to say, it's too late now. He DID have a will, thank God, and all his and Mom's business, including funerals was taken care of, but personal belongings weren't included. I love my sister, but she was not the least bit generous with Mom and Dad's things and I was too nice to force the issue. Even nice GALS... finish last!

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  3. That is sad. Is there any way to find out who bought the house to see if anything was kept?

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  4. That is awful. Something that would bug you for sure. Pictures are so important. When my mom was ill, her and I talked about what was important to me. I wanted one single item, a lovely desk that she had. After her passing, I was very satisfied. Each time my brother and sister asked about something I let them have it, I got the one and only item I wanted. My mom also gave me a ring that she wore for over 50 years. Priceless.

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  5. There's something about when people die and the vultures circle that is timeless. I've seen it in my own family and it's very sad. But somehow I hope you can find some of those pictures, because they belong to you. I'm hoping for you....

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  6. Gigi....that really sucks. I'm the youngest of 4 and my sister had all the family pics, last time I asked she said they were missing. Ugh!!

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  7. That is disgusting, where is your share of the house profit from the Sale? I wouldn't leave it there Gigi, you should get a lawyer and claim the money that is rightfully yours! I am furious, you never got what should be yours, you can't sit back and let this happen!

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  8. Oh that's so awful, is there any chance another family member may have the pictures or will share the pictures they have with you? xxx

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  9. How awful for you GIgi, your mother was obviously doing things with the best intentions and yet they went totally wrong, how weak of your brother if you don't mind me saying. My husband was disinherited and it was so hurtful but the sisters did nothing to help him just get a token a memento that meant something. The girlfriend bitch who had caused all the trouble would not give him anything ... I even went round and had a huge row with her and told her what she was etc etc .. I got nothing .. but respect from my man xx

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  10. Thank you, Man-Child. I will begin taking more pictures of my children and allowing others to take pictures of me. Sigh...thank you, GiGi for sharing your heart.

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  11. This really hits home in a way!! I hope you will try to find out what has happen to your moms stuff. My EX step mother still has some of my moms stuff and I will probably never get it. She thinks it's hers because it was my dads too and he was to nice to ask for it when they divorced!! Oh couse he let her have the house too. I got a small insurance policy that her and my brother don't know about and my Mean side wants to let her know in some way but I probably never will. Good luck!! We ( you and I ) are the type of people not to make to many waves so I know this is hard on you!!

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  12. Hummm. You definitely need an attorney on this case. If the house was left to you and your brother than it could not be sold without you and your brother signing some sort of document.

    Other folks may think they own it, they may even have a deed, but, they do not have clear title.

    You should check into this pronto.

    TAG

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  13. that's really sad. Perhaps someone has got them? I hope you can trace them somewhere. XX

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  14. Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. It's gotta be eating away at you or you wouldn't have thought to bring it up here. What did you tell MC?

    Any relatives of Mom's that lived nearby that bastard may have dumped 'em with? Could they be sitting in your mother's cousin's attic??

    I'm sure you've probably thought of all this...and if it's truly a lost cause, then somehow...you've gotta make your peace with it and let it go. It's only hurting YOU to carry it around...

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  15. What is it about people who just don't care :(

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  16. Oh sweetie that is a hard one. I'm glad your Aunt had you take some things. There must be some comfort in that. Hugs.

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  17. Oh, man that is a really sad story. I am so sorry it went down that way. Hopefully you can honor her memory by taking lots of photos of yourself AND manchild.

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  18. I'm so sorry! It is definitely worth contacting the people that "bought" the house to see if anything was left behind. When we bought our house we found some albums and such that were left behind and we boxed them up. Tried contacting the previous owners son (they had passed away) but he never responded so in the box they sit waiting for someone to come knocking.

    If anything was left behind I have to imagine that anyone with even half a heart would at least box up the pictures and wait for someone to come calling.

    http://anthonytheboss.wordpress.com/2010/07/10/the-new-mothers-helper/

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