"Did ya do my iTunes, Ma?"
(Okay - first of all, when did I become "MA?" CANNOT stand that!)
Why, you ask, do I hate this question so very much?
Because, before I let Man-Child buy; I check the lyrics.
This time it wasn't so bad. There were only three songs.
But usually there are about 20 songs and it takes about 100 years to check on all of them!
And you know what? Usually, the songs he's trying to get by me?
Ummmm, ain't going to fly.
Yes, I realize that some of what we listened to was "racy." But you know what? I didn't realize just how "racy" it was until I was MUCH older (maybe because I was just naive - but I don't think so). And, do you know why that was???
Because most of the songs we heard used euphenisams and weren't quite so explicit.
The songs he wants are EXPLICIT and then some!
Any songs that denegrate women - gone!.
Any songs that denegrate the police - gone!
Any songs that glorify murder, drugs, gang-life, etc. - gone!
What does that leave you might wonder. Not as much as he'd like; but still plenty. And, it gives him an eclectic taste in music (at least as far as his peers go. How many 15 year olds do you know that like Frank Sinatra, Arrowsmith, Kid Rock (the tamer stuff), Toby Keith - and whoever the rap star of the day is??)
I'm not so hard core that if it's a little bit racy I delete. But there is racy and then there is explicit.
He tells me over and over how "it's just a song" and that it won't change "who he is" and he's probably right. But in the meantime....why should I take that chance? He is mine to monitor - so monitor I will.
Yes, I'm a mean mom....but you know what?? I absolutely revel in that label.
December 4, 2009
December 3, 2009
Because I just can't keep my mouth shut....
So Modern Mom posted this today. It's all about how she is such a MEAN MOM.
Really???
She won't let her kids watch inappropriate movies at a young age. She won't let them wear makeup at a very young age. She won't let them wear inappropriate clothing. They have regular bedtimes. They have ::gasp:: CHORES!!!!
This is what it MEANS to be a mom!!!
You have to stand firm. You have to say NO. You have to show your children the way. You cannot let THEM show you the way. They aren't old enough, or responsible enough, to make these types of decisions. That is what YOU are there for!
Yes, I agree that children should be given some leeway on some things (pick your battles and all that) BUT - for the big things??
Yeah, maybe I'm old fashioned. But you can be sure that Man-Child has chores. You can be sure that Man-Child has been raised with MANNERS. You can be sure that Man-Child has been brought up with what is appropriate and what is not.
Sure, he pushes the envelope every once in a while. He's normal that way. But guess what?? I PUSH BACK! Because guess what? I AM THE MOM!
If you let children get away with so much when they are small - what do you think they are going to do when they get bigger? (A question I desperately want to ask one of my co-workers - whose three year old is completely running their house and lives at the moment....seriously! The three year old is calling ALL the shots at that house.)
I remember one time when I was getting on to Man-Child for something a year or so ago. His dad wasn't home and he was feeling "sassy" and "too big for his britches." I realized that he was MUCH bigger than me and that I couldn't physically MAKE him do whatever it was I was wanting him to do - it kinda worried me for a minute. But, I realized, that I am the parent and by God, he WOULD do it - even if it took me taking a stick (a shoe, a chair or whatever) after him!! He eventually did it (without the stick, shoe or chair!); because he knows that I am the one in charge here and that I won't take any guff - whether he's bigger than me or not.
It breaks my heart to see other parents bow to their children's demands. Because I know deep in my heart - that while that may be "fixing" the problem for the moment; it is only making things worse for everyone in the future.
And while the way I have raised my child works for us (so far - fingers crossed) I realize it wouldn't work for everyone. BUT, I truly believe that YOU have to be the parent. You HAVE to have open communication with your child (just this morning the opportunity presented itself about the ability to talk to your child about drugs and other self-destructive behaviors - and we did - I also took the opportunity to tell him how much I appreciated our relationship - and our ability to talk about anything. Yes, some things he keeps private - but for the majority, he is pretty open with us (so far)) (I KNOW - too many parentheses!!!! Sorry! That's just me! I can't help it. I even speak in parentheses; just ask Hubby. He claims that it is too hard to even hold a conversation with me. Although, personally....I just don't think he's trying hard enough! Ahem - ANYWAY!!!).
Parenting is NOT easy. And though it DOES get easier when they get a bit older - it also gets harder. And you have to be willing to be the hard-ass. But also to be the one that they can talk to about anything....sex, drugs, peer pressure. It's a fine line.
God only knows what the future has in store for all of us - but I do know this - I have parented THIS child to the best of my ability. And he may not turn out perfect (because how many of us are?) and he will make mistakes along the way (haven't we all?)- but I think in the end, he'll turn out okay (despite all my fears and trepidations about what COULD happen).
No, I am NOT proclaiming myself to be THE parenting goddess (although if you want to call me a goddess, I'll take the title) - but I do have very firm ideas about what it means to be a parent - and it takes guts and hard work to be a parent. And yes, I am a parent - in every sense of the word.
And proud of it. You can just call me Goddess (I like the sound of that....)
Okay - now that I've got that off my chest I'll crawl back into my little universe now...
Really???
She won't let her kids watch inappropriate movies at a young age. She won't let them wear makeup at a very young age. She won't let them wear inappropriate clothing. They have regular bedtimes. They have ::gasp:: CHORES!!!!
This is what it MEANS to be a mom!!!
You have to stand firm. You have to say NO. You have to show your children the way. You cannot let THEM show you the way. They aren't old enough, or responsible enough, to make these types of decisions. That is what YOU are there for!
Yes, I agree that children should be given some leeway on some things (pick your battles and all that) BUT - for the big things??
Yeah, maybe I'm old fashioned. But you can be sure that Man-Child has chores. You can be sure that Man-Child has been raised with MANNERS. You can be sure that Man-Child has been brought up with what is appropriate and what is not.
Sure, he pushes the envelope every once in a while. He's normal that way. But guess what?? I PUSH BACK! Because guess what? I AM THE MOM!
If you let children get away with so much when they are small - what do you think they are going to do when they get bigger? (A question I desperately want to ask one of my co-workers - whose three year old is completely running their house and lives at the moment....seriously! The three year old is calling ALL the shots at that house.)
I remember one time when I was getting on to Man-Child for something a year or so ago. His dad wasn't home and he was feeling "sassy" and "too big for his britches." I realized that he was MUCH bigger than me and that I couldn't physically MAKE him do whatever it was I was wanting him to do - it kinda worried me for a minute. But, I realized, that I am the parent and by God, he WOULD do it - even if it took me taking a stick (a shoe, a chair or whatever) after him!! He eventually did it (without the stick, shoe or chair!); because he knows that I am the one in charge here and that I won't take any guff - whether he's bigger than me or not.
It breaks my heart to see other parents bow to their children's demands. Because I know deep in my heart - that while that may be "fixing" the problem for the moment; it is only making things worse for everyone in the future.
And while the way I have raised my child works for us (so far - fingers crossed) I realize it wouldn't work for everyone. BUT, I truly believe that YOU have to be the parent. You HAVE to have open communication with your child (just this morning the opportunity presented itself about the ability to talk to your child about drugs and other self-destructive behaviors - and we did - I also took the opportunity to tell him how much I appreciated our relationship - and our ability to talk about anything. Yes, some things he keeps private - but for the majority, he is pretty open with us (so far)) (I KNOW - too many parentheses!!!! Sorry! That's just me! I can't help it. I even speak in parentheses; just ask Hubby. He claims that it is too hard to even hold a conversation with me. Although, personally....I just don't think he's trying hard enough! Ahem - ANYWAY!!!).
Parenting is NOT easy. And though it DOES get easier when they get a bit older - it also gets harder. And you have to be willing to be the hard-ass. But also to be the one that they can talk to about anything....sex, drugs, peer pressure. It's a fine line.
God only knows what the future has in store for all of us - but I do know this - I have parented THIS child to the best of my ability. And he may not turn out perfect (because how many of us are?) and he will make mistakes along the way (haven't we all?)- but I think in the end, he'll turn out okay (despite all my fears and trepidations about what COULD happen).
No, I am NOT proclaiming myself to be THE parenting goddess (although if you want to call me a goddess, I'll take the title) - but I do have very firm ideas about what it means to be a parent - and it takes guts and hard work to be a parent. And yes, I am a parent - in every sense of the word.
And proud of it. You can just call me Goddess (I like the sound of that....)
Okay - now that I've got that off my chest I'll crawl back into my little universe now...
December 2, 2009
Semi-eloping
Only because Brighton Mum-Teenage Angst asked; I will tell you about semi-eloping.
Semi-eloping is when you are engaged (far tooooo early in your dating days - but plan on being engaged for a while); and then your mother gets involved (although; said mother does NOT intend on helping out with the wedding as far as you can discern) and begins to drive you completely and totally batty. Then, after you have gone out and bought your dress (which truly depicts 80's; early 90's style - it was gorgeous for then, not so much my taste now!) you reach your boiling point with your mother.
It is at that point, that you say to your fiance something along the lines of "We don't need a big wedding (although it is your first wedding; his second)."
And he readily agreesbecause he is seeing how much money and frustration he can save because he loves you so very much that he can't wait!
So you call your motherwho has the ability to enrage you with just a look and make you do crazy things, and your very best friends and inform them that you will be getting married at your house this weekend and you'd love it if they could make it.
Your fiance tells you that his friend is also a minister and would be thrilled to perform the ceremony. You,in complete and total I'll show YOU mode, because you love your man, oh so much, agrees that he is perfect for the job (although you are both Catholic and you would really love to be married in the Church, although you don't totally realize this until much, much later).
You then proceed to completely ignore thebeautiful dress that you bought - because, you know, it just wouldn't work for a wedding that's taking place at your house. Instead you go out and buy a white suit. Fiance gets the cake from the grocery store. Flowers?? Don't even remember if I had any. Pictures? Taken from various people - no portraits
And next thing you know, you are married. And spending your honeymoon at home (with promises that you'll get that honeymoon eventually-but you never do) with your brand-new step-child! And since it was such a rush job, you weren't even able to get off work so on the drive to work on Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday you cry because you think maybe you made a mistake.
And all your friends and family are whispering behind your back, "she's pregnant - that's why they rushed it." or "it'll never last!" Although, in the end (and so far) they were wrong.
Am I bitter? Ummmm, not really. I love my husband with all my heart and marrying him was the best decision I ever made. But I did cheat myself out of a wedding and a honeymoon by cutting my nose off to spite my face - all because my mother made me mad. Don't know if she ever forgave me for that one. But, DAMN, that woman had the ability to drive me crazy!!
And that, my friends, is the definition of semi-eloping.
Semi-eloping is when you are engaged (far tooooo early in your dating days - but plan on being engaged for a while); and then your mother gets involved (although; said mother does NOT intend on helping out with the wedding as far as you can discern) and begins to drive you completely and totally batty. Then, after you have gone out and bought your dress (which truly depicts 80's; early 90's style - it was gorgeous for then, not so much my taste now!) you reach your boiling point with your mother.
It is at that point, that you say to your fiance something along the lines of "We don't need a big wedding (although it is your first wedding; his second)."
And he readily agrees
So you call your mother
Your fiance tells you that his friend is also a minister and would be thrilled to perform the ceremony. You,
You then proceed to completely ignore the
And next thing you know, you are married. And spending your honeymoon at home (with promises that you'll get that honeymoon eventually-but you never do) with your brand-new step-child! And since it was such a rush job, you weren't even able to get off work so on the drive to work on Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday you cry because you think maybe you made a mistake.
And all your friends and family are whispering behind your back, "she's pregnant - that's why they rushed it." or "it'll never last!" Although, in the end (and so far) they were wrong.
Am I bitter? Ummmm, not really. I love my husband with all my heart and marrying him was the best decision I ever made. But I did cheat myself out of a wedding and a honeymoon by cutting my nose off to spite my face - all because my mother made me mad. Don't know if she ever forgave me for that one. But, DAMN, that woman had the ability to drive me crazy!!
And that, my friends, is the definition of semi-eloping.
December 1, 2009
They are only Christmas cards, Gigi!!!
I know that's what you are thinking! Yes, in addition to my many talents - I can also read minds (sometimes).
BUT - that is where you are wrong! It's not so simple as buying the cards, running off labels, stuffing the envelopes, sealing, stamping and mailing.
No. Not in Gigi's world; where everything must be extremely convoluted.
Before anything Christmas-related begins; I must pull out this:
BUT - that is where you are wrong! It's not so simple as buying the cards, running off labels, stuffing the envelopes, sealing, stamping and mailing.
No. Not in Gigi's world; where everything must be extremely convoluted.
Before anything Christmas-related begins; I must pull out this:
This is my Christmas binder. (No, I'm not insane! At least not certifiably). Inside this binder lists are contained. A Christmas card list, an Open House list, a gift idea list, a master gift list (from every year) that shows who actually got what; etc.
Now the Christmas card list presents it's own problems. Because there is the who gets the family picture card and who gets Man-Child's portraits (that are taken each year around his birthday for this express purpose) and what size (wallet, 5 x 7, 3 x 4, etc), and who gets just a standard card.
Last year (and this year) I consolidated the Christmas card list and the Open House invitation list (because the cost of the stamps for all this is astronomical and it seemed kinda wasteful to send them separately). This resulted in even more chaos.
So, I use a list like this:
Name/Address Card Invite Picture
Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith Standard No No
Ms. Jane Doe Family Yes Wallet
Grandma Family No 8x10
Except my list goes on for at least three full pages and seems to grow by leaps and bounds every year. What can I say - we're popular(?).
In order to execute this plan flawlessly - you must have a system (hence the lists). So some people get just a standard Christmas card, no invite, no picture. (And yes, there is a reason for this - because I personally do not like to receive pictures of people I don't actually know. I constantly get Christmas cards of business associates families. These are people I've never even met or even talked too! Why would I want pictures of them?) Others might get a family picture card and a picture of Man-Child. And even others might get a family picture card, a picture of Man-Child and an invitation. And even other might just get a standard card and an invite.
So now you know why I was freaking out yesterday over the Christmas picture. Because it takes me literally, A FULL DAY to execute the system.
But you will be happy to know, that the system works and I am almost all done with the my Christmas cards/invites - I just need to finish the standard cards and stuff them.
So, yeah, after reviewing this post - I've decided that I might be a little bit crazy; but in a completely lovable way - right?
November 30, 2009
More stuff to cross of my list!
Between the whole weaning process and everything else....I've been a bit stressed.
But today one of my favorite girls saved me!
She came by this evening (in her pj's no less) to take the family picture for our freaking Christmas cards.
Why has this been stressing me you might ask? Because in order to send out the invites for our Open House (on the 19th! And you know you need a two week window on invites - even if you've already told everyone to save the date!) I needed to have the Christmas cards done - so that I can send them out at the same time (do you know how much postage costs these days???? And I have long lists!).
I have been struggling with the guys over this all weekend. Tried to do it on Friday; they refused to cooperate. Tried to do it on Sunday - they had previous plans (which, to be fair, I had forgotten about).
So today, finally!! It is done. I've picked out the picture to use, I've created the card and the invite, but (dammit) I've left the list at work!
So first thing tomorrow - I will order the cards (both sets) to be delivered asap! (Be damned the cost at this point) (Who says work is for work? Hell, I've worked on my mother-in-law's photo book all afternoon!!! Ssshh! Don't tell! Hey company - that's what happens when you can't keep me busy with other stuff; like, you know, work!)
::sigh:: Maybe I'll sleep tonight; at least three things crossed off my list by 9:30 am tomorrow! Yay!
BTW - thank you all for your support! It rruly helps to know I'm not alone! Much love!
But today one of my favorite girls saved me!
She came by this evening (in her pj's no less) to take the family picture for our freaking Christmas cards.
Why has this been stressing me you might ask? Because in order to send out the invites for our Open House (on the 19th! And you know you need a two week window on invites - even if you've already told everyone to save the date!) I needed to have the Christmas cards done - so that I can send them out at the same time (do you know how much postage costs these days???? And I have long lists!).
I have been struggling with the guys over this all weekend. Tried to do it on Friday; they refused to cooperate. Tried to do it on Sunday - they had previous plans (which, to be fair, I had forgotten about).
So today, finally!! It is done. I've picked out the picture to use, I've created the card and the invite, but (dammit) I've left the list at work!
So first thing tomorrow - I will order the cards (both sets) to be delivered asap! (Be damned the cost at this point) (Who says work is for work? Hell, I've worked on my mother-in-law's photo book all afternoon!!! Ssshh! Don't tell! Hey company - that's what happens when you can't keep me busy with other stuff; like, you know, work!)
::sigh:: Maybe I'll sleep tonight; at least three things crossed off my list by 9:30 am tomorrow! Yay!
BTW - thank you all for your support! It rruly helps to know I'm not alone! Much love!
November 29, 2009
Just call me Smoky Bear
I have waffled over posting this. I don't want to be judged - or to be thought crazy (I am crazy; but in a rational way - I promise!). But in the end, I've decided it's a Public Service Announcement. Because you need to know this stuff - in the event you ever need it. Just call me Smoky Bear (fyi - he doesn't like to be called Smoky THE Bear) - doing what I do all for your edification!
******
I'm attempting to come off a really tough (prescribed) drug.
So, if I seem more erratic than normal (or if there is more clarity) please forgive me (or rejoice).
Once upon a time, long, long, ago. Hubby's daughter was living with us. It was a freaking nightmare (for me at least-had I known about blogging; maybe things would have been different - I could have gotten A LOT off my chest).
At any rate; during this period no one in the house was getting along. Except maybe Man-Child (who wasn't a man-child at the time); who was pretty much oblivious (I hope and pray).
I was seeing reality; Hubby was looking at life through rose-colored glasses because finally, he had his child under his roof and she could do no wrong. Step-daugher? Doing pretty much whatever she wanted because she knew she had daddy wrapped around her little finger. It was pure hell.
One day, Hubby suggested that maybe I needed to be on medication. I scoffed at him. I berated him. What kind of idiot was he? He was insane!
Divorce court seemed to be our only option.
Then, IT happened. The YEARLY exam was upon me.
The doctor (actually Nurse-Practicioner - whom I love); asked me about stresses in my life. The whole story came pouring out along with tears. Because yes, I was stressed beyond belief.
Lovely woman that she is; she prescribed a very strong anti-depressant; a very mild dose mind you. But please don't stop taking it without talking to me, she said.
Now here we are. Probably about 4-5 years later.
Not once have I been asked - Are your stresses gone (yes, they are. Thank you very much. Step-daughter and I get along famously now that she has grown up and learned to accept responsibility, learned how to be a grown up, pay her own way AND gotten rid of drug-lord boyfriend - it took a VERY long time for Hubby to see these things).
So I've been trolling the internet (as I am wont to do) and what have I discovered? The drug that I am on is EXTREMELY addictive and EXTREMELY hard to get off of.
GREAT!!!
The stuff I've read about this drug is freaking SCARY!! REALLY, REALLY SCARY! And the stuff I've read about trying to get off it - EVEN MORE SO!
So one recent Sunday - I "accidentially" missed a dose. I was fine. Great; I thought. This isn't so hard.
On that Monday, as I was preparing for work - all of a sudden I began to get "fuzzy" and had "pinging" in my brain (sorry - there's no better way to describe it). I took a dose and after a few hours began to feel better.
On Tuesday - I thought - what the hell? And "missed" another dose.
This went on for about a week; the fuzziness and pinging faded away.
But Hubby? In all his "infinite wisdom" said (after I mentioned I was weaning) "you really shouldn't do that." WHY?I YOU are the one that got me into this freaking mess to begin with! At this point in the game; YOU have nothing to say about any of this except; THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING MARRIED TO MY STUBBORN, BLIND ASS! (Besides there is the fact that you might totally benefit since one of the side affects is a lack of "desire").
After the week was up; I called the nurse-practicioner and asked for a weaker dose and explained that I wanted to get off this stuff. She agreed and called in a prescription. She told me to take the weaker dose every day for ten days; then every other day for ten days and then just stop.
Me, in my infinite wisdom, figured I'm already doing every other day without the meds. So that is what I have continued to do - just on the weaker dosage.
I've been doing okay - the pinging and fuzziness has mostly been confined to the morning after the missed dose (course, I've only been doing this for a couple of days). But tonight I am noticing the pinging and fuzziness and I'm due to take a dose tomorrow. It's not as bad as has been described on some websites; but it is disconcerting; I can't imagine how horrible it would be if I had been on a higher dosage. It's weird; because I'll be going along with everything fine and then all of a sudden - my brain just "jolts!" It doesn't hurt - but....as I said, it's disconcerting. But with everything I've read - at least I'm prepared and know what's going on; otherwise I'd just think I was going crazy!
But I have also noticed that my energy level is WAY up. Yay! For the longest time, I figured it was just a matter of me getting older - it's NOT. It's the drug. It has been sapping all of my natural energy. I've also noticed I'm not as forgetful - which again I was attributing to my ::ahem:: advancing age. I've also noticed that all those "little" things that didn't bother me before (but used to) is also returning (hmmm, Hubby and Man-Child may not like that part....)
I will so beat this; I don't need to be on this medication anymore and I certainly don't want to be on it for the rest of my life because of the fear of "coming off of it."
So yeah? While I totally advocate talking to your doctor (or nurse practioner or therapist or whoever) when you are stressed. TOTALLY RESEARCH THE MEDS PRESCRIBED BEFORE TAKING THEM.
So, anyway, if there are any abnormalities during my "weaning" process; at least you'll know why (and, hopefully, love me anyway).
Okay, I'm totally hitting Post now; for better or worse.
******
I'm attempting to come off a really tough (prescribed) drug.
So, if I seem more erratic than normal (or if there is more clarity) please forgive me (or rejoice).
Once upon a time, long, long, ago. Hubby's daughter was living with us. It was a freaking nightmare (for me at least-had I known about blogging; maybe things would have been different - I could have gotten A LOT off my chest).
At any rate; during this period no one in the house was getting along. Except maybe Man-Child (who wasn't a man-child at the time); who was pretty much oblivious (I hope and pray).
I was seeing reality; Hubby was looking at life through rose-colored glasses because finally, he had his child under his roof and she could do no wrong. Step-daugher? Doing pretty much whatever she wanted because she knew she had daddy wrapped around her little finger. It was pure hell.
One day, Hubby suggested that maybe I needed to be on medication. I scoffed at him. I berated him. What kind of idiot was he? He was insane!
Divorce court seemed to be our only option.
Then, IT happened. The YEARLY exam was upon me.
The doctor (actually Nurse-Practicioner - whom I love); asked me about stresses in my life. The whole story came pouring out along with tears. Because yes, I was stressed beyond belief.
Lovely woman that she is; she prescribed a very strong anti-depressant; a very mild dose mind you. But please don't stop taking it without talking to me, she said.
Now here we are. Probably about 4-5 years later.
Not once have I been asked - Are your stresses gone (yes, they are. Thank you very much. Step-daughter and I get along famously now that she has grown up and learned to accept responsibility, learned how to be a grown up, pay her own way AND gotten rid of drug-lord boyfriend - it took a VERY long time for Hubby to see these things).
So I've been trolling the internet (as I am wont to do) and what have I discovered? The drug that I am on is EXTREMELY addictive and EXTREMELY hard to get off of.
GREAT!!!
The stuff I've read about this drug is freaking SCARY!! REALLY, REALLY SCARY! And the stuff I've read about trying to get off it - EVEN MORE SO!
So one recent Sunday - I "accidentially" missed a dose. I was fine. Great; I thought. This isn't so hard.
On that Monday, as I was preparing for work - all of a sudden I began to get "fuzzy" and had "pinging" in my brain (sorry - there's no better way to describe it). I took a dose and after a few hours began to feel better.
On Tuesday - I thought - what the hell? And "missed" another dose.
This went on for about a week; the fuzziness and pinging faded away.
But Hubby? In all his "infinite wisdom" said (after I mentioned I was weaning) "you really shouldn't do that." WHY?I YOU are the one that got me into this freaking mess to begin with! At this point in the game; YOU have nothing to say about any of this except; THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING MARRIED TO MY STUBBORN, BLIND ASS! (Besides there is the fact that you might totally benefit since one of the side affects is a lack of "desire").
After the week was up; I called the nurse-practicioner and asked for a weaker dose and explained that I wanted to get off this stuff. She agreed and called in a prescription. She told me to take the weaker dose every day for ten days; then every other day for ten days and then just stop.
Me, in my infinite wisdom, figured I'm already doing every other day without the meds. So that is what I have continued to do - just on the weaker dosage.
I've been doing okay - the pinging and fuzziness has mostly been confined to the morning after the missed dose (course, I've only been doing this for a couple of days). But tonight I am noticing the pinging and fuzziness and I'm due to take a dose tomorrow. It's not as bad as has been described on some websites; but it is disconcerting; I can't imagine how horrible it would be if I had been on a higher dosage. It's weird; because I'll be going along with everything fine and then all of a sudden - my brain just "jolts!" It doesn't hurt - but....as I said, it's disconcerting. But with everything I've read - at least I'm prepared and know what's going on; otherwise I'd just think I was going crazy!
But I have also noticed that my energy level is WAY up. Yay! For the longest time, I figured it was just a matter of me getting older - it's NOT. It's the drug. It has been sapping all of my natural energy. I've also noticed I'm not as forgetful - which again I was attributing to my ::ahem:: advancing age. I've also noticed that all those "little" things that didn't bother me before (but used to) is also returning (hmmm, Hubby and Man-Child may not like that part....)
I will so beat this; I don't need to be on this medication anymore and I certainly don't want to be on it for the rest of my life because of the fear of "coming off of it."
So yeah? While I totally advocate talking to your doctor (or nurse practioner or therapist or whoever) when you are stressed. TOTALLY RESEARCH THE MEDS PRESCRIBED BEFORE TAKING THEM.
So, anyway, if there are any abnormalities during my "weaning" process; at least you'll know why (and, hopefully, love me anyway).
Okay, I'm totally hitting Post now; for better or worse.
It's Sunday - time to be thankful!
My reasons for gratitude this week:
1. That this weekend has been extremely unseasonable - which enabled me to get my part of the outside decorations done (usually I'm out there in the cold, cursing and trying to figure out the plugs on the little Christmas trees that line the walk. This time I was able to do it at a leisurely pace!) (Hubby has resisted all attempts to get him to put up the lights - he'll regret it when it's cold and he's out there while I sit inside, secure in the knowledge that I've already done my part! I'll try not to be smug about it - yeah, right!)
2. That Man-Child is finally beginning to take his education seriously.
3. That I am still alive after the near death experiences that Man-Child put me through while driving this weekend.
4. 4 day weekends!!
5. That after today I only have 13 work days left before I am OFF for the remainder of the year!!
6. Family; of course (although Man-Child has been joined at my hip just about all weekend and I'm about ready to go back to work for some "alone time!")
7. That my neighbor keeps his yard in order (but REALLY??? I think he has OCD about it or something. He was mowing in on Thanksgiving (Thursday) and has been out there again on his mower today - blowing his leaves toward the woods and is now using his leaf blower to make sure every last leaf is off his lawn!)
8. That my computer screen is fixed!!
9. That my guys are going out tonight and I will have some much needed quiet time (if neighbor guy EVER finishes his lawn).
So what are you grateful for this week?
1. That this weekend has been extremely unseasonable - which enabled me to get my part of the outside decorations done (usually I'm out there in the cold, cursing and trying to figure out the plugs on the little Christmas trees that line the walk. This time I was able to do it at a leisurely pace!) (Hubby has resisted all attempts to get him to put up the lights - he'll regret it when it's cold and he's out there while I sit inside, secure in the knowledge that I've already done my part! I'll try not to be smug about it - yeah, right!)
2. That Man-Child is finally beginning to take his education seriously.
3. That I am still alive after the near death experiences that Man-Child put me through while driving this weekend.
4. 4 day weekends!!
5. That after today I only have 13 work days left before I am OFF for the remainder of the year!!
6. Family; of course (although Man-Child has been joined at my hip just about all weekend and I'm about ready to go back to work for some "alone time!")
7. That my neighbor keeps his yard in order (but REALLY??? I think he has OCD about it or something. He was mowing in on Thanksgiving (Thursday) and has been out there again on his mower today - blowing his leaves toward the woods and is now using his leaf blower to make sure every last leaf is off his lawn!)
8. That my computer screen is fixed!!
9. That my guys are going out tonight and I will have some much needed quiet time (if neighbor guy EVER finishes his lawn).
So what are you grateful for this week?
It's articles like this one that remind me why I read the paper in the first place.....
I'm recreating this article (because I've searched high and low and can't find a link to the story anywhere!)
It's moose-taken; identity: Man cleared of killing wife
Stockholm - Swedish police say they've cleared a man arrested for allegedly murdering his wife after deciding the culprit was likely a moose.
Police spokesman Ulf Karlson says "the improbable has become probable" in the puzzling death last year of 63-year old Ageneta Westlund. She was found dead after an evening stroll in the forest.
According to news reports, the victim's husband, Ingemar Westlund, was jailed for 10 days. The case against him was dropped in January.
It's moose-taken; identity: Man cleared of killing wife
Stockholm - Swedish police say they've cleared a man arrested for allegedly murdering his wife after deciding the culprit was likely a moose.
Police spokesman Ulf Karlson says "the improbable has become probable" in the puzzling death last year of 63-year old Ageneta Westlund. She was found dead after an evening stroll in the forest.
According to news reports, the victim's husband, Ingemar Westlund, was jailed for 10 days. The case against him was dropped in January.
- Wire Reports
My question is - just how did the moose kill her that made them think the hubby did it? Did the moose have a vendetta againts Mr. Westlund and decided to frame him?
November 28, 2009
Have you read.....
Have you read Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire?
When the trailers for this movie first came out - I was already to see it.
Now?
I've mixed feelings.
Why? I read the book.
OH. MY. HELL!!!!!!!
I have read some stuff in my time (I am voracious reader) - but THIS?
I cried the whole way through. I have never cried or had my heart broken on EVERY SINGLE page of a book before.
It's not a very long book but it is powerful.
From what I can gather; it's not based on a true story.
BUT to know that this stuff happens EVERY SINGLE DAY is horrifying!
Man-Child (who is also a voracious reader) picked up the book; despite me telling him that he should NOT read it (it's extremely graphic); has read the majority of it under the cover of darkness.
We discussed it today (after I asked him where it was in hopes of hiding it from him). He informed me that I should be begging him to read it - to make him appreciate even more what he has. To appreciate that he has the parents that he does.
I don't think I can watch the movie now. Even if the scenes aren't as graphic - because they would be re-playing in my mind.
Although this book is extremely disturbing...I would rate it as a must read. If for nothing else, than to remind yourself of the advantages you have had - and to realize that there are those out there who would rather face death than face another day alive.
When the trailers for this movie first came out - I was already to see it.
Now?
I've mixed feelings.
Why? I read the book.
OH. MY. HELL!!!!!!!
I have read some stuff in my time (I am voracious reader) - but THIS?
I cried the whole way through. I have never cried or had my heart broken on EVERY SINGLE page of a book before.
It's not a very long book but it is powerful.
From what I can gather; it's not based on a true story.
BUT to know that this stuff happens EVERY SINGLE DAY is horrifying!
Man-Child (who is also a voracious reader) picked up the book; despite me telling him that he should NOT read it (it's extremely graphic); has read the majority of it under the cover of darkness.
We discussed it today (after I asked him where it was in hopes of hiding it from him). He informed me that I should be begging him to read it - to make him appreciate even more what he has. To appreciate that he has the parents that he does.
I don't think I can watch the movie now. Even if the scenes aren't as graphic - because they would be re-playing in my mind.
Although this book is extremely disturbing...I would rate it as a must read. If for nothing else, than to remind yourself of the advantages you have had - and to realize that there are those out there who would rather face death than face another day alive.
A productive day - yet sad.....
FINALLY! I can actually say that I've had a productive day!
My house is clean (kind of). My little Christmas trees are lining my walkway (thank goodness it was a beautiful day - I HATE to do this when it's cold). My car is filled. The clutter is gone (kind of). Laundry still awaits (ick!) though. I definitely need more 4 day weekends! I could get soooooo much done!
But the most productive part? Lunch with Man-Child. Today we discussed his education (at his instigation; thank you very much). He informed me of his "plan" for his junior and senior year in high school.
Needless to say, I was very impressed (and extremely thankful that I am not in school anymore!).
My child has not been a very studious student (to say the least) in recent preceding years. I've tried everything to get him more interested in studying (begging, pleading, bribing...you name it.) and getting the best grades he could get. He never took the bait. Although I know that he is bright and could "get" any subject if he would just apply himself just an inch. (I'm actually convinced he took a dive on the AL test in third grade on purpose....).
But something about this year has completely turned him around.
Example: he is currently averaging a C+ in Spanish (if you knew his previous grades in this class you would be on your feet cheering!). But he is agonizing over it. He is just a few points from a B. And you would think the fate of the world hinges upon him making that C+ into a B. EVERY day this weekend he has asked me to log on to the student performance website to see if his teacher has posted their most recent grades. I've tried telling him that his teachers are on vacation too and not thinking about school....to no avail.
Every conversation about his school revolves around what colleges might be looking for . . . and he's only a sophomore.
He is considering taking LATIN next year! Why? Because it will help on his SAT scores and because if he has TWO languages it might be more enticing to certain colleges. Really??? LATIN?!?!?
I've mentioned how hard Latin is; he doesn't care. I've mentioned that taking really hard courses doesn't matter to said colleges if you can't make the grades. He is confident that he can make the grades. (And I KNOW he can if he applies himself - but the past few years makes me wonder. He's never LIKED to apply himself).
WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE? WHERE IS MY SON?
I have told him over and over again about a certain friend of mine's daughter in recent years (in hopes to get him to apply himself). And how she continually set herself up to fail. And how she was repeatedly rejected by colleges because she never applied herself in high school - and was finally accepted to a private college (which of course has set her mother up to fail because she can't afford it .... another story entirely). Maybe this has finally sunk in? I don't know. WHATEVER! I'm happy. Man-Child is finally looking to the future and making plans.
While this makes me very happy; it also makes me very sad. My baby is making plans to leave the nest! I know that this means I have done my job as a mother. But still...my boy is stretching his wings and learning to fly. Away from me? I'm not quite ready for him to go. Yes, I still have a few years (maybe more if he decides to go to college somewhere close...) but - judging from how fast the last few years have flown....it won't be too many more before he is gone.
And then?? Where will I/we be? What will we do?
Currently our lives pretty much revolve around Man-Child (how could it not?). Once he's gone....there will be a HUGE void. How will we fill it? The house will be EXTREMELY quiet. ALL THE TIME!
What started out as such a positive post has depressed the hell out of me.
::sigh:: wandering off in search of a glass of wine and forgetfulness....
My house is clean (kind of). My little Christmas trees are lining my walkway (thank goodness it was a beautiful day - I HATE to do this when it's cold). My car is filled. The clutter is gone (kind of). Laundry still awaits (ick!) though. I definitely need more 4 day weekends! I could get soooooo much done!
But the most productive part? Lunch with Man-Child. Today we discussed his education (at his instigation; thank you very much). He informed me of his "plan" for his junior and senior year in high school.
Needless to say, I was very impressed (and extremely thankful that I am not in school anymore!).
My child has not been a very studious student (to say the least) in recent preceding years. I've tried everything to get him more interested in studying (begging, pleading, bribing...you name it.) and getting the best grades he could get. He never took the bait. Although I know that he is bright and could "get" any subject if he would just apply himself just an inch. (I'm actually convinced he took a dive on the AL test in third grade on purpose....).
But something about this year has completely turned him around.
Example: he is currently averaging a C+ in Spanish (if you knew his previous grades in this class you would be on your feet cheering!). But he is agonizing over it. He is just a few points from a B. And you would think the fate of the world hinges upon him making that C+ into a B. EVERY day this weekend he has asked me to log on to the student performance website to see if his teacher has posted their most recent grades. I've tried telling him that his teachers are on vacation too and not thinking about school....to no avail.
Every conversation about his school revolves around what colleges might be looking for . . . and he's only a sophomore.
He is considering taking LATIN next year! Why? Because it will help on his SAT scores and because if he has TWO languages it might be more enticing to certain colleges. Really??? LATIN?!?!?
I've mentioned how hard Latin is; he doesn't care. I've mentioned that taking really hard courses doesn't matter to said colleges if you can't make the grades. He is confident that he can make the grades. (And I KNOW he can if he applies himself - but the past few years makes me wonder. He's never LIKED to apply himself).
WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE? WHERE IS MY SON?
I have told him over and over again about a certain friend of mine's daughter in recent years (in hopes to get him to apply himself). And how she continually set herself up to fail. And how she was repeatedly rejected by colleges because she never applied herself in high school - and was finally accepted to a private college (which of course has set her mother up to fail because she can't afford it .... another story entirely). Maybe this has finally sunk in? I don't know. WHATEVER! I'm happy. Man-Child is finally looking to the future and making plans.
While this makes me very happy; it also makes me very sad. My baby is making plans to leave the nest! I know that this means I have done my job as a mother. But still...my boy is stretching his wings and learning to fly. Away from me? I'm not quite ready for him to go. Yes, I still have a few years (maybe more if he decides to go to college somewhere close...) but - judging from how fast the last few years have flown....it won't be too many more before he is gone.
And then?? Where will I/we be? What will we do?
Currently our lives pretty much revolve around Man-Child (how could it not?). Once he's gone....there will be a HUGE void. How will we fill it? The house will be EXTREMELY quiet. ALL THE TIME!
What started out as such a positive post has depressed the hell out of me.
::sigh:: wandering off in search of a glass of wine and forgetfulness....
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