December 2, 2009


Only because Brighton Mum-Teenage Angst asked; I will tell you about semi-eloping.

Semi-eloping is when you are engaged (far tooooo early in your dating days - but plan on being engaged for a while); and then your mother gets involved (although; said mother does NOT intend on helping out with the wedding as far as you can discern) and begins to drive you completely and totally batty.  Then, after you have gone out and bought your dress (which truly depicts 80's; early 90's style - it was gorgeous for then, not so much my taste now!) you reach your boiling point with your mother.

It is at that point, that you say to your fiance something along the lines of "We don't need a big wedding (although it is your first wedding; his second)." 

And he readily agrees because he is seeing how much money and frustration he can save because he loves you so very much that he can't wait!

So you call your mother who has the ability to enrage you with just a look and make you do crazy things, and your very best friends and inform them that you will be getting married at your house this weekend and you'd love it if they could make it.

Your fiance tells you that his friend is also a minister and would be thrilled to perform the ceremony.  You, in complete and total I'll show YOU mode, because you love your man, oh so much, agrees that he is perfect for the job (although you are both Catholic and you would really love to be married in the Church, although you don't totally realize this until much, much later).

You then proceed to completely ignore the beautiful dress that you bought - because, you know, it just wouldn't work for a wedding that's taking place at your house.  Instead you go out and buy a white suit.  Fiance gets the cake from the grocery store.  Flowers??  Don't even remember if I had any.  Pictures?  Taken from various people - no portraits

And next thing you know, you are married.  And spending your honeymoon at home (with promises that you'll get that honeymoon eventually-but you never do) with your brand-new step-child!  And since it was such a rush job, you weren't even able to get off work so on the drive to work on Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday you cry because you think maybe you made a mistake.

And all your friends and family are whispering behind your back, "she's pregnant - that's why they rushed it." or "it'll never last!"  Although, in the end (and so far) they were wrong.

Am I bitter?  Ummmm, not really.  I love my husband with all my heart and marrying him was the best decision I ever made.  But I did cheat myself out of a wedding and a honeymoon by cutting my nose off to spite my face - all because my mother made me mad.  Don't know if she ever forgave me for that one.  But, DAMN, that woman had the ability to drive me crazy!!

And that, my friends, is the definition of semi-eloping.


  1. Ah! I understand now! Mothers and weddings...huh..Mind you, it got you out of the 80's/90's wedding dress & the photos that haunt us..Maybe you could have a blessing, in church, on one of your anniversaries, then you get to wear a wonderful, beautiful, more sophisticated dress (and ..gorgeous SHOES!) Plus of course the flowers, cake, and a honeymoon! YAY!

  2. I'm with Brighton Mum-Teenage Angst on this.
    Blessing on anniversary - big party, 'spensive dress, shoes, the whole lot!
    And then honeymoon (without the Man-child)

  3. We eloped too. My second, his first. He is very shy and couldn't imagine walking down the aisle. Oh, and I was 8 months preggo at the time (on purpose, just didn't think it would happen so fast/easily). I sometimes really wish we'd had a small wedding. And a honeymoon. But now that hubs is making me move to Maine- I may have ammunition! We celebrated 6 years this summer- so maybe on our tenth... I am Catholic, and really want to have our marriage blessed by the church too. I had a small cake made for our first anniversary and- long story short- he ruined the whole evening and the cake got tossed. Men!

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  5. BMTA and BNM - I don't regret the wedding part so much - but I am holding out for an extravagant 20th anniversary "honeymoon." He screwed it up on the 15th - so he'd better be making plans for 2011; if he knows what's good for him.....

    Lee - Yes, I'd love to be married in the Church-but with all their rules and Hubby's stubborness about the annulment - I don't see it happening.

  6. Like BMTA & BNM said; you could always have a renewal in a big church.

  7. I ran off to Vegas and eloped. My husband and I both wore jeans, had absolutely no witness, and no one took pictures. We ate our wedding dinner at a buffet, and stayed in a motel that we later seen on an episode of CSI. Didnt tell a soul, until after the deed was done.
    We were supposed to have a "real" wedding on our 5th anniversary. That came and went. So then we were supposed to have a "real" wedding on our 10th, which is this coming Feb. dont think thatll happen either.

  8. Awww, I'm sorry you didn't get your dream wedding. And yes you've got to now have a big blessing an do it then. xx