Letters of Intent

Every week Julie hosts Letters of Intent.  And every week I plan to join (and follow the links).  And every week I fail.  But NOT this week. This week, I'm actually ready.  So here we go!

Dear Hubby:

I'm always right.  After twenty years of marriage you should know this by now.  Accept it and move on.  Then your life won't be so hard and mine will be just a *tad* less stressful.

And you also should know by now that if MY life is less stressful then it stands to reason that yours will be too.

Lots of love,
Your VERY Stressed Wife (quit adding to it already!)


Dear Lady at Jersey Mike's:

There is a protocol here; especially at lunch-time during the work week.  I understand that you might not "get" said protocol so my advice to you is this....if you don't "get" the protocol then get OUT of line and watch and see how it's done before you decide to jump in.  It's really not difficult and I think once you see it done once or twice you will be ready for it.

First you walk up to the counter.  They ask what you want.  You reply.  You move to the left.  When it's your turn, they ask you how you want your sandwich.  You respond and move to the left.  When it's your turn, you pay, take your sandwich, etc. and  (this is important) get the hell out of the way!

You do NOT walk up and just stand there and ignore the nice kid behind the counter while you proceed to chat with whomever it is you've just met/run into - because when you do he will then ask the next person what they want; which would be me.  You cannot then - keeping your place in line - order what you want and then FAIL to move to the left while continuing your chat.  This screws up the whole process.

Once you FINALLY realize that you must move to the left to tell them how you want the sandwich don't forget to then again move to the left to pay.  This leaves frustrated customers behind you - you know customers that actually only have a limited amount of time for lunch since they work and don't have the luxury of taking their time during the lunch hour.

Once you again FINALLY realize that you must move to the left to pay - do not answer your cell phone.  Again, it leaves VERY frustrated customers behind you (again, that would be ME!) as you attempt to talk to the person on the other end of the phone and the cashier at the same time all while fumbling around trying to find your "frequent customer card" (really???  Apparently, you aren't a frequent customer since you don't know the PROTOCOL!) and your debit card.

If you'd just follow the protocol (which is very much like the Soup Nazi, I know) all of our lives would be much easier and I wouldn't have the urge to throttle you.

Signed,
A VERY aggravated and hungry woman.