August 19, 2011

Letters of Intent

Every week Julie hosts Letters of Intent.  And every week I plan to join (and follow the links).  And every week I fail.  But NOT this week. This week, I'm actually ready.  So here we go!

Dear Hubby:

I'm always right.  After twenty years of marriage you should know this by now.  Accept it and move on.  Then your life won't be so hard and mine will be just a *tad* less stressful.

And you also should know by now that if MY life is less stressful then it stands to reason that yours will be too.

Lots of love,
Your VERY Stressed Wife (quit adding to it already!)

Dear Lady at Jersey Mike's:

There is a protocol here; especially at lunch-time during the work week.  I understand that you might not "get" said protocol so my advice to you is this....if you don't "get" the protocol then get OUT of line and watch and see how it's done before you decide to jump in.  It's really not difficult and I think once you see it done once or twice you will be ready for it.

First you walk up to the counter.  They ask what you want.  You reply.  You move to the left.  When it's your turn, they ask you how you want your sandwich.  You respond and move to the left.  When it's your turn, you pay, take your sandwich, etc. and  (this is important) get the hell out of the way!

You do NOT walk up and just stand there and ignore the nice kid behind the counter while you proceed to chat with whomever it is you've just met/run into - because when you do he will then ask the next person what they want; which would be me.  You cannot then - keeping your place in line - order what you want and then FAIL to move to the left while continuing your chat.  This screws up the whole process.

Once you FINALLY realize that you must move to the left to tell them how you want the sandwich don't forget to then again move to the left to pay.  This leaves frustrated customers behind you - you know customers that actually only have a limited amount of time for lunch since they work and don't have the luxury of taking their time during the lunch hour.

Once you again FINALLY realize that you must move to the left to pay - do not answer your cell phone.  Again, it leaves VERY frustrated customers behind you (again, that would be ME!) as you attempt to talk to the person on the other end of the phone and the cashier at the same time all while fumbling around trying to find your "frequent customer card" (really???  Apparently, you aren't a frequent customer since you don't know the PROTOCOL!) and your debit card.

If you'd just follow the protocol (which is very much like the Soup Nazi, I know) all of our lives would be much easier and I wouldn't have the urge to throttle you.

A VERY aggravated and hungry woman.


  1. I just had to laugh at the second letter of intent. She's pretty clueless, I'd say, AND a frequent visitor? Maybe she is the person who causes groans when she walks in. I'll go check out the blog with the Letters. This is a great idea!

  2. Men. They just don't get it sometimes do they? You'd think the first thing they'd teach them in Kindergarten is to always make the woman happy. :)

    That woman in line would have chapped my hide. People who have no respect for anyone else need to stay inside their homes where they aren't going to bother anyone with their egocentric ways.

    Thanks so much for linking up girly! You hit your first link-up out of the park!

  3. The letter to hubby is just plain right and should have been obvious to hubby within the first year of marriage. Some husbands are just slow.

    The second letter... I recommend a stun gun!

  4. If only I could teach my husband this simple truth!

    I used to go to a delicious crepe place that didn't have a line set up. It would drive me crazy. I would get there before other people and they would get to order first. I know that's completely different from you situation. I just wanted to vent.

  5. I think the Jersey Mike's lady is in front of me everywhere I go. I hate her.

  6. Here from Mommie Dearest. I'm excited to be your newest follower.

  7. You are so cute. I want to put you in my pocket.

  8. Gigi,
    Did you know that my husband and I own a Jersey Mikes? And YES! There is a fricking protocol! Not only do those inconsiderate people piss off the customers but they make us panic because we don't like our customers to wait! Of course, when I say "we" it's really my husband. I only worked there briefly. I got fired. Apparently, handing out correct change is FAR more important than making small talk with the customers. Who knew? Also, it should be known, that although I gave away all kinds of cash? I totally rocked the hat.