August 11, 2011

Really?! THIS is what you pay me for?


That's all I can say after today.  That, and thank goodness I have taken tomorrow off.  Because I seriously don't think I could face another day of ridiculousness this week.

When I decided to take on the Big Guy and add him to my roster of attorneys, after my dear friend abandoned me for the joys of retirement, I figured it would increase my work load a tad; which would be a good thing; but never in my wildest imaginations did I figure that my days would be filled with stuff like this.

Here are just some of the ridiculous situations I was expected to deal with today....

First up, just as the Big Guy has gone into a BIG meeting at 10:00 am; a meeting that took an Act of Congress to get together, I get a call from downstairs that his guests were question was "WHAT guests?!" (*sigh* there isn't enough coffee in the world.)

Being the super-efficient woman that I am, I grabbed the first person I saw headed that way and asked him to hand Big Guy a note.  And then waited for the Big Guy himself to pop out of the conference room.  Which he did (he's so predictable sometimes).

He then asked me why they were here since HE "re-scheduled" them to 11:00 am.  (How the hell should *I* know why they are here?  I had nothing to do with this meeting at all; in fact, I didn't even KNOW about it).  He then asked me to tell them to come back or re-schedule or something.  Fine.

But, I ask you, just how do you politely tell someone - "Hey, Goofball - you are an hour early, (OR....he forgot to tell you that he re-scheduled).  Go away and come back in an hour"?  I tried and tried but just couldn't figure out a nice way to say it.  Instead, I apologized profusely and told them he was in a meeting that he couldn't get out of that was running long and offered to re-schedule.  They did not seem too happy.

In the meantime, a HUGE box was delivered for the Big Guy.  I asked the mailroom guy to "pretty please" put it in his office; thinking I'd deal with it after I dealt with these guys.  And I promptly forgot about it - because really?  In my world - out of sight; out of mind.

When he came out of said "Act of Congress" meeting he asked me if they were coming back, I said no.  I told him what I had said and why, which he thought that was funny.  Yeah, it was hilarious!  And then he told me not to worry about it, that he'd take care of it.....can someone please tell me why I see a repeat of this scenario in the very near future?

After walking back to his office he called me to ask me what was in the big box.  Oops!

Turns out it was a big, fancy coffee maker.  Little did I know that this big, fancy coffee maker was going to become the focal point of my day.

"What is this? Why is he sending me this?  I can't accept this!" (something to do with "ethics" and "gift policies").  "Call his assistant and see why he sent this! Is it for the Company?  What's this all about?"  And then promptly closets himself in another meeting - which interestingly enough is another meeting I know nothing about and seems to have been scheduled for 11:00 am.....

So then the fun begins.

I call the (other) beleaguered assistant to find out the purpose of this coffee maker only to discover that apparently my Big Guy had a conversation with her Big Guy about the "possibility" of our company switching the Executive Coffee (yes, they get special coffee) and her Big Guy decided to gift the Company (i.e., the Executives) with a new coffee maker so they could "transition."

Whereupon explaining all this to Big Guy he was befuddled.  And claimed that "they" must have had this conversation "when he wasn't there....."

Which then lead to a myriad of other "issues."

Over a freakin' coffee maker.

In all, I would say I spent a good portion of my day dealing with a coffee maker and wayward appointments.  Seriously?!

Luckily, my other attorneys' don't need this much attention.

So yeah, NOW I can see why she decided to retire.....

I suppose I should give her a call and remind her of the joys of office life.


  1. You mean you haven't ALREADY called her? Been busy or something? I think she may have forgotten to give you the secret decoder ring, when she left.

  2. Well I hope when you acquired the Big Guy you also acquired a raise!!! You're worth every penny!!!

  3. Ha! So like a man to reschedule an appointment that was already rescheduled to a time that wasn't available. Did that make sense?

    As for the coffee maker. I say set it up on your desk and help yourself every morning. :)

  4. Haha, he sounds lovely. ;)

    My boss has a horrible memory, so I have to deal with that on occasion, but at least I don't have to deal with his meetings!

  5. oh shit- that's all I can say.....

  6. You have given me ANOTHER reminder of why it's so nice to be retired. My Big Guy was similar, although generous to a fault. And demanding. I don't miss it.

  7. UGH! You deserve a break and that big guy comment( if I can't say anything nice I won't say anything at all) Hugs and wishes for a happy weekend

  8. OMG...attorneys. Argh.

    A couple of years ago I had a part time job working in the office of our church. I loved that job. My boss, the priest, was the best boss ever. Then he retired and we got a new one. THIS one used to be an attorney in his previous life. He drove me crazy. Completely obsessive about the most ridiculous things - ordering a certain type of paper (more $) for the bulletins, only getting one particular type of post it notes or type of pens. To be fair, I probably drove him just as crazy with my multi colored pens and file folders and my kid's art work all over my office walls. It was not a match made in heaven, even if it was a church office. I lasted 6 months. I worked for attorneys when I was younger and that was quite enough for me!

    I hope you got a raise when you took on those added responsibilities!

  9. Bloody hell, so glad I now work for myself at home and it no longer involves working for a "Big Guy" in an office!

  10. Ha Ha Ha HA! I don't think it is funny that you have to deal with all of this...but funny that it happens. Write it all down so you can make a screen play ; )

    Your comment was the nicest thing ever. You made my week.

  11. oh geez! it sounds like it's a good thing he's got you around.

  12. I'm just so jealous you have a reason to wear shoes throughout your day!

  13. LOL! Sounds like a sitcom for sure. As I read, I thanked God to be able to work from home! Whew! Big guys give me a big headache!

  14. What a day!! You deserve a vacation!

  15. Kind of sounds like an episode of "the Office" :)