Really?! THIS is what you pay me for?

Whew.....

That's all I can say after today.  That, and thank goodness I have taken tomorrow off.  Because I seriously don't think I could face another day of ridiculousness this week.

When I decided to take on the Big Guy and add him to my roster of attorneys, after my dear friend abandoned me for the joys of retirement, I figured it would increase my work load a tad; which would be a good thing; but never in my wildest imaginations did I figure that my days would be filled with stuff like this.

Here are just some of the ridiculous situations I was expected to deal with today....

First up, just as the Big Guy has gone into a BIG meeting at 10:00 am; a meeting that took an Act of Congress to get together, I get a call from downstairs that his guests were here.....my question was "WHAT guests?!" (*sigh* there isn't enough coffee in the world.)

Being the super-efficient woman that I am, I grabbed the first person I saw headed that way and asked him to hand Big Guy a note.  And then waited for the Big Guy himself to pop out of the conference room.  Which he did (he's so predictable sometimes).

He then asked me why they were here since HE "re-scheduled" them to 11:00 am.  (How the hell should *I* know why they are here?  I had nothing to do with this meeting at all; in fact, I didn't even KNOW about it).  He then asked me to tell them to come back or re-schedule or something.  Fine.

But, I ask you, just how do you politely tell someone - "Hey, Goofball - you are an hour early, (OR....he forgot to tell you that he re-scheduled).  Go away and come back in an hour"?  I tried and tried but just couldn't figure out a nice way to say it.  Instead, I apologized profusely and told them he was in a meeting that he couldn't get out of that was running long and offered to re-schedule.  They did not seem too happy.

In the meantime, a HUGE box was delivered for the Big Guy.  I asked the mailroom guy to "pretty please" put it in his office; thinking I'd deal with it after I dealt with these guys.  And I promptly forgot about it - because really?  In my world - out of sight; out of mind.

When he came out of said "Act of Congress" meeting he asked me if they were coming back, I said no.  I told him what I had said and why, which he thought that was funny.  Yeah, it was hilarious!  And then he told me not to worry about it, that he'd take care of it.....can someone please tell me why I see a repeat of this scenario in the very near future?

After walking back to his office he called me to ask me what was in the big box.  Oops!

Turns out it was a big, fancy coffee maker.  Little did I know that this big, fancy coffee maker was going to become the focal point of my day.

"What is this? Why is he sending me this?  I can't accept this!" (something to do with "ethics" and "gift policies").  "Call his assistant and see why he sent this! Is it for the Company?  What's this all about?"  And then promptly closets himself in another meeting - which interestingly enough is another meeting I know nothing about and seems to have been scheduled for 11:00 am.....

So then the fun begins.

I call the (other) beleaguered assistant to find out the purpose of this coffee maker only to discover that apparently my Big Guy had a conversation with her Big Guy about the "possibility" of our company switching the Executive Coffee (yes, they get special coffee) and her Big Guy decided to gift the Company (i.e., the Executives) with a new coffee maker so they could "transition."

Whereupon explaining all this to Big Guy he was befuddled.  And claimed that "they" must have had this conversation "when he wasn't there....."

Which then lead to a myriad of other "issues."

Over a freakin' coffee maker.

In all, I would say I spent a good portion of my day dealing with a coffee maker and wayward appointments.  Seriously?!

Luckily, my other attorneys' don't need this much attention.

So yeah, NOW I can see why she decided to retire.....

I suppose I should give her a call and remind her of the joys of office life.