August 2, 2011

Those *Bleeping* kids......or bad parenting...depends on how you look at it.

Just when you think everything is fine and all is (semi) well in your little world.....

THEN your child doesn't come home when you expect him to.

Oh sure, as you sit on the back porch crafting a snarky post about your neighbor (and your husband) you "think" you hear him pull in the driveway and enter the house.

You *assume* he went immediately upstairs to take one of his EXTREMELY long showers....because, you know, he's been out in the heat of the day with full pads on practicing for football.....because isn't that what you would do after a grueling day in the heat?

Then your hubby comes home and says to you, "Where is Man-Child?"  And you, blithefully reply, "He's in the shower."  Even though you never actually laid eyes on the child...because you were, you know, busy.

To which Hubby then replies in a panic, "NO! HE'S NOT!!!!  THE CAR ISN'T HERE!!! HE'S BEEN GONE SINCE 3:30 PM!"

Which, of course, you respond with freaking out....since it's now almost 9:00 pm....and OH MY HELL! WHERE *IS* HE???? And totally remembering the wreck on the back roads in the middle of nowhere.

And so begins the phone calls and the texts. And, a short bout of freaking out via Twitter....

To which, the responsible child - who doesn't answer texts or phone calls (at least from his parents) while he is driving, doesn't respond.

Which then leads to the parents calling a fellow football-parent in a panic to ask if their son is home yet, because "OMG! MINE ISN'T!"

Only to receive the response that practice is until 8:00 pm now that it's "REAL" practice and not "TRAINING" and that he's probably on his way home.  Which definitely leads to a "bit" of relief...

Which reminds you.....didn't you call this same parent last year....with the same issue?

And then darned if he doesn't walk in the door - full of attitude - because "duh! Didn't you read the schedule? And did you REALLY just call So-N-So's mom AGAIN about this?"

And you thank God again because, apparently, you are an idiot.


  1. Freaking out is what we do best, it keeps them in line.

  2. Don't you love how they walk around in public with our hearts on their sleeves and then have the nerve to be mad at us when our hearts go into panic mode?

  3. When Derek goes for a walk or bike ride and doesn't tell me, subconsciously I know he's fine, but still, I sometimes freak out a little.

  4. Poor girl, I remember how it was. (It hasn't gotten one bit better since they've grown up and moved out)

  5. OH. My. This is what happens when they grow up and we are no longer looking at it the same way. Good post, Gigi.

  6. Your post made me laugh, only because this would be me! I just know I'm going to be overly concerned when I have teenagers or maybe rightfully concerned. Good luck! I'll expect lots of advice when I am there. :)

  7. I am so there with you, Gigi! Mine has started going to the casino (the kind who let 18 year olds in). I used to text him constantly and then he told me there was no reception in the casino. I don't know if that's true or not, but now I just wait to see his shoes at the door in the morning.

    P.S. He told us it was best if he had no curfew anymore. He explained that it was better for us so we didn't freak out so much when he wasn't home at a certain time. Isn't that sweet of him? Always thinking of his parents and their happiness and well-being!

  8. I'd be freaking out too.

    I tend to immediately think kidnapping if my kid is late.

  9. This is soooooo something I would do.....and I would search town....

  10. I never anticipated how quickly I'd panic as a mother. It's so easy to feel like you lose all control in an instant! So, I feel you!

  11. Just catching up Gigi, and I'm telling you, you make me laugh hard! The mower, the grass patch, the trampoline, the dart board... and then the practice thing. Sweet. I know this will be me in 10 years when my boys get a bit older!!

  12. Yup it is the scariest thing .. mine are not driving yet .. but I remember on holiday loosing Harry he was about 6 or 7 .. for almost 40 mins.. I was almost vomiting .. he was in the loo behind the bar having a poop xx