Indifference

Indifference drives me absolutely nuts. I firmly believe that if you have a job to do – you bring your A game and do it right.
I am so tired of dealing with people who don’t care about doing their jobs well; if at all.

What is so frustrating about this is that I find it across the board – it’s not just an isolated incident. I see it where I work. I see it where I shop. I see it everywhere. Heaven help me – I even see it in my family!

If you don’t like your job – get a new one. If that is not feasible – then suck it up buttercup and put your best effort forward until you can find a new one. What completely amazes me though is that their managers don’t seem to see the problem. Well, on second thought, the managers are probably just as indifferent. Aargh!!!

I have seen receptionists – you know the “first impression” of a company – who glare at visitors when they enter the building; who consistently send phone calls to the wrong departments - - repeatedly; who do not make a valiant effort to put on a good first impression. It drives me wild. Were I the president of a company this would NOT BE ACCEPTABLE at all.

Now granted, I wouldn’t want to be a receptionist – having to be “on” all the time – but they have chosen to accept the job – so do it well! I wouldn’t want to work in retail or in the food industry either. But again, you chose to accept the job – do it to the best of your ability with the best possible attitude.

With that being said, I have worked in positions where I wasn’t happy or didn’t like the job or the company – or even my co-workers. And I still put my all into it – because that is what you are supposed to do -- until I found a way out. Now, I work for a great company, in a great (for the most part) department with great people. Yes, I have off days – we all do. But that is not the problem of the person on the receiving end. They deserve to be treated with respect and receive the best possible assistance that can be offered.

People notice when you do a job well-done and with a positive attitude. Especially in today’s world of sub-standard service. I have written notes to managers to praise employees who go above and beyond. I have also written letters to Presidents and CEO’s to let them know when I am dissatisfied.

I think if we settle for less than this is what we get - we have to demand better - from others and ourselves.

Angie

"People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it."

~ Howard Newton

Being Green ain't that easy

I want to be more green, I really do.

I am the queen of recycling – if I see something in the trash that should be recycled – whoever is to blame gets a lecture. I use cloth bags for all my shopping. I have tried to force my husband to use them since he does all the grocery shopping; but he refuses to be caught dead carrying them. Although, I must admit that I don’t blame him since most of my bags are very ~ahem~ feminine. So instead, I insist that he return all the plastic bags back to the store to be recycled – which, if the truth be told, he waits until we can’t walk into the pantry because there are so many and then, only because I have a fit.

I have a rain barrel that is finally up and ready to go. No significant rain yet though. Although, I would like to have a pump on that baby! How cool would that be?

I have an insulated lunch bag and bring my food in re-usable containers rather than plastic bags. I have insisted that one of my usual lunch partners do the same – since he was throwing away at least 3 or 4 baggies a day! Wasteful.

I use a “green” dry cleaner. Although, they still wrap the clothes in all that plastic – so just how green can they be?

I have intentions of making my own cleaners, detergents, etc. I even have all the ingredients to do so. So what is stopping me? Convenience and the assumption that they won’t work quite like their commercial adversaries do. Plus I’ve read that some of the homemade detergents can ruin your washing machine & dishwasher. So, I keep putting it off.

I’ve tried to buy some of the “greener” products on the market. But they don’t seem to clean up to my standards – which is what makes me think making my own won’t be much better.

It’s also hard to be greener when you have to fight against your own family’s mind-set. My husband is the most wasteful person of papertowels. It’s scary how many we go through. I’ve tried sponges and washable cloths. The problem with this is that he has a tendency to leave them in the bottom of the sink all wet. Which then grosses me out completely when I pick it up and it is all cold and slimy. So I end up throwing it out and we go back to papertowels. I realize that he is “old school” and trying to teach this dog new tricks is probably a waste of my time and breath. But honestly – would it kill him to wring out the cloth or sponge?

So anyway, while I’ll never be an “eco-warrior” I will still try to do my own little part to be greener. What do you do? Do you have any tips, ideas, or particular “greener” products that work for you? Feel free to share.

Angie

"It isn't easy being green" ~ Kermit, the Frog

Having An Only Child

One of my friends’ husband recently decided to take their two older children on a weekend trip to D.C. This left my friend home alone for the first time ever with her youngest. I might add that her youngest has also been her most challenging. They came over for dinner one night that weekend – and she was exhausted. She had never realized just how much attention one child needs; especially when he is high-energy.

She can handle all three with no problem. They keep each other entertained (when they aren’t trying to kill each other) and out of her hair most of the time. But with the one – with no one to play with or talk to – she became an instant target. I had to laugh – because this is exactly what my husband and I went through with our son.

Having just one has its pros and its cons. Once or twice when he was smaller he asked for a little brother. Then after thinking about it one day he came to me and informed me that he didn’t want a little brother after all. When I asked why his answer was that he would have to share us with the new baby – and he didn’t want to do that. What insight from such a little guy.

We never planned to just have one. Or two or three. We had the one and he was a very, very busy baby and I knew I couldn’t deal with two tiny ones at the same time – especially if the next was as busy as the first. So we just kinda enjoyed him and didn’t think about it. After awhile, I began to get those “baby blues.” My husband was against another one. He felt that he had two (one from a previous marriage) and that was enough. He also felt he was too old (he’s twelve years older) and wanted to retire someday. Selfish? Of course. But I think if I had really pushed the issue he would have caved – he loves little ones (and me) too much. But time flew by, as it so frequently does, and then I looked up and I was 40. Too late. Well not really, but I don’t think I could deal with the anxiety and worry of a “late in life” pregnancy – unless I absolutely had to.

Even though my boy is no longer a little guy – he still seems to require a lot of attention from us. In fact, he just called to beg me to come home for lunch just so he’d have a little company – and so he wouldn’t have to make something for himself (he can be lazy – as most teenagers, I suppose). My husband still seems to be his best playmate. They talk sports, roughhouse and basically do all the things that brothers would do. Sometimes it goes a little to far however, and hubby has to remind him that he IS the father.

I admire all the moms out there with more than one child – I don’t know how they do it. But I also admire the moms of “onlys” because I know just how challenging that can be also – particularly with those incredibly busy, busy babies.

Angie

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” ~Rajneesh

Why Can't I Decide??

What is wrong with me? I just can't make decisions on certain things. I need/want a new phone. I'm torn between the Blackberry Curve and the HTC Ozone. I've read the reviews, compared the features, etc.

I've even waited for two weeks for the HTC Ozone to be available in the store so I could go look at it and play with it and physically compare it to the Blackberry.

And

Still

I

Cannot

Decide!!

This is not a life or death decision -- those I can make with my eyes closed. I also realize that I can return it if I don't like it. But still ... how too choose?

These are the kinds of things that make me crazy. It shouldn't be a hard thing. So why is it?

All I want is a smartphone. That's it. But the choices are too many. I've finally narrowed it down to these two and am now stuck.

I've done this before when trying to decide what color to paint my old hallway. I had paint chips taped to the wall for THREE months. Again, not a life or death decision and I could always paint over it if I didn't like it but there again the decision was agonizing.

My hubby's no help in this decision either since he is of the opinion that I don't NEED a smartphone and thinks it's stupid that I am insisting that I do. But yet when he says we NEED a patio poured and I don't ..... well, that's another conversation all together.

So here I sit obsessively comparing the phones online . . . while my laundry is patiently waiting to be done.

So have a heart - give me an opinion; something. I need help.

What a beautiful day!

As I sit here on the back porch listening to the birds (and that annoying barking dog) feeling the warm sun on my skin; I feel truly thankful.

I have a wonderful life and every once in a while I have to stop and remember that. Sometimes, well truthfully, a lot of the time, I get all wrapped up in the every day minutiae. We all do I suppose.

I try to remember all the blessings in my life -- but it's hard when there's work, housekeeping, laundry (the never ending laundry!!!), raising my son, trying to be a good wife (note to self: you've been falling down on that front - try harder!), etc.

Anyway - I thought I'd take a moment to share some of my blessings with you - in an effort to keep them forefront instead of letting every day life take over.

My husband - the light of my life. He truly loves me even though I'm a crazed, sometimes OCD-driven woman. He cooks for the family every day and is the perfect role-model for our son.

My son - my world revolves around him. He drives me completely crazy and makes me laugh like no other. He is a smart, good looking, sweet, considerate and caring boy (he takes after me!). As much as I miss the little guy, I'm truly looking forward to seeing what kind of man he will become.

My friends - what would I do without them? I can count on all of them for various things; someone to gossip with; someone to laugh with; someone to cry with; someone to party with - the list is endless. They all love me unconditionally.

I have a beautiful home - though right now it could be cleaned. I have my health. I have a good job. While not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination - we have enough to get by.

All in all I have it pretty good - and I would do well to remember that as the laundry continues to pile up; as do the bills; the housework, etc.

Did you read (or hear about) this couple in Thomasville, NC?

Danielle Starr, the bride pictured, told Anthony Mohoney (the groom) that she’d rather be married to him for one day than not at all.

She got two days.

You see, Anthony has been battling testicular cancer for nearly five years. 48 hours after the wedding, he died.

Danielle has been quoted as saying, “It was amazing while it lasted.”

They say that he was alert before and during his wedding but that his health quickly began to deteriorate after the ceremony. His mother is quoted as saying, “He got back into bed and didn’t get back up.”

This story touches my heart. Danielle loved Anthony so much, that despite the pain that she knew would be destined for – she married him. She lay with him in his bed until he died – saying she didn’t want him to be alone.

She married him knowing that she would be a widow in the very near future. She married him not knowing how long she would have with him.

What a brave and loving young woman, Mrs. Mohoney. To love that freely and unselfishly is truly a blessing. How many people can do that? And I don't mean in an instance as extreme as this one.

How many people truly open their hearts to others and offer unselfish love and commitment? This story dares people to look deep into themselves to see whether or not they have open hearts and are unselfish in their dealings with those they profess to love.

Small children generally offer their love so selflessly. It's as they (we) grow older that things begin to change. It shouldn't. We should all be so selfless.

What a true love story if there ever was one. If you’d like to read the whole story – here’s the link. http://www.news-record.com/content/2009/07/13/article/cancer_patient_who_married_on_saturday_dies

Angie

"I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all." -- Alfred Tennyson

101 Things About Me

Since I’m totally blocked today – I thought I’d take the time to jump on this bandwagon. But I have a feeling this is going to be waaaayyy more challenging.

1. I’m 41 years old (today, in fact!)
2. I’m about 5 ft 1in (yes, I realize that I’m short)
3. I’ve just lost about 40 pounds (yay me!)
4. I’m terrified that I’ll put it back on.
5. I recently picked smoking back up (maybe that accounts for the 40 pds)
6. I’m terrified I won’t be able to quit again.
7. I like wine . . . a lot.
8. I love my boss – she’s fabulous, encouraging & empowering
9. I’d like my job better if I were busier though
10. I love the internet.
11. What the hell is the fascination with FaceBook, etc. – don’t people have better things to do than update their status every hour on the hour? Why do people care?
12. I like to think I’m open-minded while at the same time
13. I’m very fixed in some of my thoughts and ideas
14. My son will soon be 15
15. This too terrifies me.
16. I’ve been married for almost 19 years.
17. My husband asked me to marry him after only 3 months of dating
18. We got married only two months later.
19. I cried for three weeks after – wondering what I’d done
20. I know some of my friends never thought we’d make it this long
21. I know some others thought it was because I was pregnant – I wasn’t.
22. It turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever done
23. I love my husband more than he’ll ever know
24. I should show him more often
25. I love to read
26. I LOVE shoes (okay – maybe I’m obsessed)
27. I’ve got the best friends in the whole world
28. I love the beach – I’m ready to live there
29. My husband hates the beach – this may be a problem
30. I am not a morning person.
31. But I’m not the night owl I used to be either
32. I needed the patience I now possess back when my son was small
33. My son is the most wonderful kid in the world – I’m very proud of him
34. His father gets most of the credit because he has modeled the kind of man my son will grow up to be
35. My son also drives me crazier than anyone else I know (except maybe for my mom when she was alive)
36. I love inspirational quotes
37. And funny ones
38. Mexican food is one of my favorites
39. I am absolutely TERRIFIED of frogs/toads.
40. I love to work in my garden until I see one of the above
41. Then I yell for my son to come finish what I’ve started
42. And, usually, he does it for me. What a great kid
43. I hate doing laundry
44. But I’m always doing it
45. My husband thanked me for always keeping him in clean clothes last night (totally out of the blue)
46. That made me love him even more
47. I can’t stand rain for more than one day
48. It depresses me and usually puts me in a bad mood
49. BUT – I don’t like to water my plants – so I know we need the rain – can’t it come at night while I’m sleeping?
50. My hair is brown (with a little help)
51. I have a purple streak on the right side
52. My eyes are brown
53. My friend is taking me to see Kid Rock soon – I’m very excited
54. My husband is wondering what kind of freak he’s married to (purple hair / Kid Rock, etc., I’m sure he’s thinking mid-life crisis)
55. I’m kinda into Feng Shui
56. Mainly to drive my husband crazy :-)
57. My son calls me the Vocab Queen
58. Yet my math skills are somewhere on the level of 2nd grade (sad, I know)
59. I loved being pregnant – it was the best time of my life.
60. I don’t know if I could have dealt with more than one baby at a time
61. But I love babies
62. I’m the disciplinarian
63. Sometimes I have to force my husband to do it – because I get tired of being the bad guy
64. Some of my friends thought I was too strict when the boy was small
65. But they admire his character and behavior now
66. I hate to be idle; unless I’m reading
67. Email was the best invention EVER
68. I’m a big chicken
69. But I wish I wasn’t
70. I love crossword puzzles and other word games
71. I believe that happiness is a state of mind
72. As is optimisim
73. I feel sorry for negative people
74. But I try not to be around them (it’s contagious!)
75. I love stationery – I have more of it than I can possibly ever use
76. But I keep buying it
77. I HAVE to have a stockpile of papertowels in the pantry, or I get nervous
78. I love to have friends over
79. I really enjoy the game Catch Phrase – it’s the only game hubby will play
80. I’m extremely competitive
81. I can be extremely stubborn too
82. I’m not an animal person
83. I can be very Type A
84. But I’m working on loosening up
85. I can’t understand why some people procrastinate
86. But sometimes I do it too – but not when it involves others
87. It irritates me when people neglect to use SpellCheck
88. I can be very shy and self-conscious
89. But it’s not nearly as bad as it used to be – it used to be almost deblitating
90. My husband says I’m not the same woman I used to be – I hope that’s a good thing
91. He’s pretty much the same man I married – that is a good thing
92. He also says that I couldn’t be married to anyone else
93. He is SOOOO right
94. I believe we should live life to the fullest
95. But sometimes I’m too lazy
96. My hair drives me crazy
97. I can’t stand a dirty kitchen
98. I don’t cook – at all
99. Another reason to love my hubby – he does all the cooking
100. I hate to exercise
101. I love shoes (did I already say that??)

Wow – that was challenging! But easier than I anticipated. Now you know why my profile reads “What can I say? I’m complex!” I’m a mass of contradictions!

Angie

“I love life and I love that about people . . . I adore the human experience, I really adore the . . . I love the contradictions of people . . . I don’t mind being sexy and girlish and womanly, and all those things at the same time . .” - - Jewel

I LOVE to read!

Do you love to read??

I LOVE to read! Almost too much so.

I’ve just finished two great books – in less than four days.

The problem with this is – I then tend to “forget” what I’ve read. My son tells me that’s because I read too fast and don’t take time to “absorb” the books. This is most likely true. Particularly since, in my very recent past, I’ve bought (BOUGHT, mind you) three (yes that’s right THREE) books that I have already read not too long ago.

I read the jacket and think “Oh, this sounds fantastic!” and hurry up to the checkout line. Only to discover when I get home and have settled onto the back porch and opened the book that three pages into it – I’ve already read the damn thing!! Drives me absolutely crazy.

So, what’s a girl to do?? I love to read and once I start a book that is particularly interesting I can’t help but race through it. Even if that means when I pick it back up I may have to re-trace a few pages (because I was too tired the night before to comprehend what I was reading).

Some of my favorite authors are: Jodi Picoult (love her!), Stephen King (of course), Dean Koontz (gotta love him), Michael Connelly, James Sanford, Maeve Binchy . . . . I could go on all night!

So. Who are some of your favorites? Any recommendations? Do you suffer from the same affliction I do?

The Power of Girlfriends

If you have them – then you know exactly what I am talking about. Women need each other. Unfortunately, some women don’t seem to get that and prefer to tear other women down rather than build them up. Those are the women I desperately try to avoid.

To those of you out there with little ones in the house – I know how hard it is to make time for yourself – much less your friends. But, particularly as your kids get bigger and more independent – you will begin to realize just how much you need friends.

Sure, husbands and boyfriends are great – especially if you count them as one of your best friends. BUT – there is only so much that they can offer you. They may sympathize when you have cramps – but they don’t know what it’s really like. They can try to understand when you are in the throes of PMS and ready to kill the first person who looks at you funny – but they’ve never been there. They may tell you how fabulous you look when you are feeling bloated, your hair is freaking out and your skinny pants don’t fit anymore – but, once again, they’ve never been there. You get where I’m going with this, right?

I have many girlfriends and they all fill different spots in my life. I’ve got my party friends, my sympathetic ear girlfriends, my shopping friends, my – yes, I-will-help-you-bury-the-body friends, etc. Some of these friends fill more than one category too.

When my hubby and I were going through a particularly difficult patch (really the only major one in 18 ½ years – thank God), one of my dear friends was the only thing that kept me from either taking my son and moving out or killing my husband in cold blood. She was there whenever I wanted to rant and rave and she was there calming me down. She offered me a place to stay if I left – either in a rage or for good. She offered an alibi if I killed him in a fit of rage (just kidding). She also offered great advice to me (and my husband on a separate occasion) and helped us to get through this very difficult time. I love her dearly.

I found one of my high school friends through a social networking site. It was great. But, one night we were talking on the phone (granted, wine was involved) and she told me that she thought it was great I had so many girlfriends. She had seen a picture of me and my girls on the site. She then informed me that she really didn’t have any girlfriends. It made me sad. It made me even sadder when I missed her call after she drunk-dialed me (don’t judge – we’ve all done it) late one night a month or so later and sounded so unhappy and told me she really needed a friend. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to connect with her since. I continually worry about her and hope that we can connect again soon so I can offer her that unique brand of friendship that women can have and so desperately need.

I know that I can count on any of my girls for anything whenever and wherever I am in my life. And they know they can count on the same for me.

Me
“I get by with a little help from my friends.” John Lennon

WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE??

I just looked up and realized that it is July!! 2009!! How the hell did that happen? This month I’ll be 41. I don’t have an issue with being 41 – really and truly. What I don’t understand though is how did I get here? Just yesterday I was 22. How is that as children our concept of time is that it takes forever? Waiting for birthdays and Christmas seemed like an eternity. Now – I blink my eyes and another year has gone by.

I tell my friends with young children – enjoy every minute, every phase and stage. Because once you put those little sweeties into kindergarten time will move at warp speed!! Truly. I know this for an absolute fact. Just last fall, I walked my little guy into kindergarten – and then cried my way to work. And yet somehow, this fall, my little (big, no check that GIANT) guy will be a sophmore in high school and driving! WTF?

Anyhow – depressing as this may seem – I’m not going to let it get me down. I am all about living in the moment; enjoying everything I can. That’s not to say I don’t worry, or am never depressing or pessimistic; or am never angry or frustated. I do and I am. I’m normal (kinda, sorta, maybe?).

I just recently got into reading blogs. I have a few that I follow daily and they have inspired me. But what will I blog about?

This little blog is going to be a development in progress. I really don’t know how to classify it. Will it be about my family? Some. Will it be about me? Eh, maybe a bit. My job? Probably not – unless something seriously funny or enraging happens. Life in general? Definitely. Politics? Not really, I know just enough to be dangerous but not enough to make intelligent arguments. All I know is it seems like something I feel compelled to do – before too much more time elapses.

Me
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss