July 2, 2009

The Power of Girlfriends

If you have them – then you know exactly what I am talking about. Women need each other. Unfortunately, some women don’t seem to get that and prefer to tear other women down rather than build them up. Those are the women I desperately try to avoid.

To those of you out there with little ones in the house – I know how hard it is to make time for yourself – much less your friends. But, particularly as your kids get bigger and more independent – you will begin to realize just how much you need friends.

Sure, husbands and boyfriends are great – especially if you count them as one of your best friends. BUT – there is only so much that they can offer you. They may sympathize when you have cramps – but they don’t know what it’s really like. They can try to understand when you are in the throes of PMS and ready to kill the first person who looks at you funny – but they’ve never been there. They may tell you how fabulous you look when you are feeling bloated, your hair is freaking out and your skinny pants don’t fit anymore – but, once again, they’ve never been there. You get where I’m going with this, right?

I have many girlfriends and they all fill different spots in my life. I’ve got my party friends, my sympathetic ear girlfriends, my shopping friends, my – yes, I-will-help-you-bury-the-body friends, etc. Some of these friends fill more than one category too.

When my hubby and I were going through a particularly difficult patch (really the only major one in 18 ½ years – thank God), one of my dear friends was the only thing that kept me from either taking my son and moving out or killing my husband in cold blood. She was there whenever I wanted to rant and rave and she was there calming me down. She offered me a place to stay if I left – either in a rage or for good. She offered an alibi if I killed him in a fit of rage (just kidding). She also offered great advice to me (and my husband on a separate occasion) and helped us to get through this very difficult time. I love her dearly.

I found one of my high school friends through a social networking site. It was great. But, one night we were talking on the phone (granted, wine was involved) and she told me that she thought it was great I had so many girlfriends. She had seen a picture of me and my girls on the site. She then informed me that she really didn’t have any girlfriends. It made me sad. It made me even sadder when I missed her call after she drunk-dialed me (don’t judge – we’ve all done it) late one night a month or so later and sounded so unhappy and told me she really needed a friend. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to connect with her since. I continually worry about her and hope that we can connect again soon so I can offer her that unique brand of friendship that women can have and so desperately need.

I know that I can count on any of my girls for anything whenever and wherever I am in my life. And they know they can count on the same for me.

“I get by with a little help from my friends.” John Lennon

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