Total Randomness - because I'm being distracted!

I'm just sitting here just trying to compose a witty, thoughtful post on my back porch; and how are you.....

Hmmmmm, what is that noise??

There are a couple of tags that I need to respond to - which I will get to.  Eventually.  I've actually been busy lately (which hasn't been the norm of late) . . . but I'm off next week (yay!) so maybe then?

What IS that noise??

'Course I also wanted to say something about how taste and smells can evoke memories; of places.   Of people who are longer here and how they've influenced your life.  And how very powerful those memories can be.....

What the hell?????

Or how I wanted to catch you up on my friend who is contemplating divorce.  She's got him out of the house and some days seems to be on course; but doesn't seem to have the will to say SHAPE UP or SHIP OUT! (and seriously?  Between you and me-though I am all for trying to work it out if possible- this AIN'T happening! He is NOT willing to attempt any change on his part) I keep telling her she needs to channel her inner bitch (or me; whichever is easier) in those moments.....

What the HELL is that NOISE?

Then of course, there are those comments from the last post.  I really, really wanted to respond to a few of those.  Especially since some seemed really concerned.  Really?  Nothing to be concerned about - all is well, despite how cryptic it may have seemed.  Thank you, truly.

WHAT THE F*#%! IS THAT NOISE?????  It's absolutely driving me BATTY!!!

Oh!  It's Hubby.

On his lawn mower.

Apparently, Spring has sprung (finally) and it is time again to pull out the loud, obnoxious equipment that deals with the yard.

Hmmm.  I suppose I'd better get used to it. 

Because if you were with me last spring/summer you will recall that I have a neighbor that loves to mow his grass on an every other day basis (personally? I'm convinced this is his way of hiding from his family...I once caught him using his mower to blow his leaves - driving back and forth slowly through his lawn.  Methodically pushing all the leaves to the tree line.  Seriously?  It took hours!)!  And a neighbor with a very yappy dog (and apparently, a very yappy owner.....I'm just sayin' if you are more yappy than the dog.....there might be an issue......).  And a neighbor with small children who make it seems like they are killing each other constantly (owwwww, my arm!!!!!  owww my eye!!!  Moooooooommmmmmmm!  Funny, I've never heard her respond to one complaint from the small children......poor kids!)  But I've yet to meet any of these neighbors (and we've been here 1 1/2 years - and generally?  WE aren't shy....).  If I had I might be a mite more sympathetic.......

SERIOUSLY?  ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE LAWN EQUIPMENT!  A GIRL CAN'T HEAR HERSELF THINK HERE!!!!!!

Okay, okay! I got your message.

Do you ever believe the Universe is trying to tell you something? Have you ever been having a tiny little issue (that has somehow snowballed, because that's what issues do?) and then everywhere you turn there are glimpses of things that seem to be trying to tell you something but you ignore them – because you are too self-righteous, pig-headed, correct convicted to listen?

And then one morning you wake up and there the Universe is: beating you over the head with a large stick; yelling “Open your eyes you moron! Pay attention! I’m trying to tell you something!”

That was what I faced today.

Practically first thing this morning, I read three things that made me sit up and take notice – even though the coffee had yet to kick in. I read them one right after the other. They were words that I did not seek out looking for enlightenment. No, instead these words sought me out from various sources - the newspaper, a blog and a quote.

Each was profound; they all said the exact same thing in their own, distinct way and they were all pointed directly to me and my little issue .

Okay Universe. I got it. I understand what you are saying and because of this, I think I’ve found the resolution I needed.


Universe you can seriously stop beating me with that stick now.

Just a peek at part of me that apparently wasn't visible before.....

"May I just say, I LOVE to hear you mad? I didn't know you had it in you, and I freaking love the phrase "give a rat's ass". You go girl!"

A direct quote from Bina.

I have to tell you this made me roll on the floor laughing.  Seriously.

She didn't know I had it in me?! 

Makes me question just what image I am projecting to you all?  A sweet, peace-loving hippie?  A granola-girl who only wants every one to "be happy?"  Me skipping through meadows making daisy chains?  What?

Just ask Hubby or Man-Child.  They will tell you that I "DEFINITELY" have it in me to get mad.  In fact, I can imagine their response if asked.

"Oh Lord!  PLEASE don't get her mad.  Especially if it's directed at ME!" 

And yes, that would be the response from both of them (and probably a **few** others, that may or may not have had my venom directed at them)!

Now granted, I don't lose it as often as I used to (or for that matter, as spectacularly - there was that time the cake got taken for a ride to the woods.....which is now family legend and repeated often - although in all fairness?  THAT cake had to go!).  I believe the term is "mellowing with age."  These days I'm more likely to go off on an inanimate object (say....the computer that is not behaving properly....yes, just ask my co-workers who hear me berating the computer, or any other piece of office equipment, on a daily basis) or the poor guy with broken English on the other end of the line as I'm trying to re-connect to the Internet that has been mysteriously cut off for no reason......or Ebay.

Yes Bina - I definitely "have it in me" to get mad and (as they say in this family) you don't want to "get my Irish" up because it can get ugly.  And I can hold a grudge like you wouldn't believe.

So now that I've complety shattered your image of me as the sweet little southern belle...I'm off to make daisy chains and to tell everyone I meet, "Don't worry!  Be Happy!!"

Thanks so much Bina!  I needed that laugh today!!

Do you censor yourself?

I ask only because it seems as if I censor myself A LOT.

Yes, this is an anonoymous blog.  No one I know (in real life) reads it (that I know of.).

No one I know (in real life) reads or follows my (very lame, I know) Twitter account.

But yet.....

I find myself censoring myself.

Why? 

Am I afraid to face my deepest, darkest thoughts?  Am I afraid to share them?  Am I afraid that they might make me face things in my life that I don't want to?

I was all set to post a Tweet tonight.  All typed out; ready to go.  All I had to do was hit enter.

I deleted it. 

I had a post all set to go.  All typed out.  All I needed to do was hit Publish.

I didn't (and will most likely delete; if I know myself at all).

Why?  I don't know.

Am I that private of a person?

That I can't even share what I am thinking or feeling with people who don't know me in real life?  With people that I know won't judge me? (at least you haven't so far....and please don't start now; right now?  I couldn't deal.  Seriously.)

Apparently, I am.

I've told you before that it's the little things in life that can make me happy.  Well apparently, it's also the little things in life that can make me unhappy or paralyze me.

And at this moment in time?  I am both unhappy and paralyzed.

I'm closing comments, because I can't deal with questions, etc.  I just had to put something out there that states where I'm at right at this very moment; and to just get it off my chest (so that maybe I can sleep....).

I promise; it's not a 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10).  Most likely, it's a 3 that has been blown completely out of porportion (which I've been known to do a time or two.....).

And know that (hopefully) tomorrow, I will be in a better mood. 

And even as I contemplate hitting Publish for this lame-ass post; I question myself.....

You win some.....you lose some

I logged on this morning (around 4:45 am - thanks Hubby) to discover that I've lost a follower/friend.

This made me very sad.  And I remembered waaaaayyyyy back when - the first (and so far, only) time I un-followed someone.

I was very torn on the decision to un-follow.  It wasn't because she wasn't nice.  It wasn't because she was rude.  It was actually nothing personal at all - I just wasn't interested in what she was saying.  But I was afraid I'd hurt her feelings (because like me - her "numbers" weren't high enough that you might not notice one going missing....and, like me, I was afraid she would take it personally.)

So despite that momentary feeling of why didn't they like me!!!!!!!  I let it go.  After 8 months of doing this (holy cow!  It's been 8 months already?)  I realize that this blog isn't for everyone (heck it really doesn't even have a "theme" or a "purpose" and I'm certainly not into "branding" it and I know I didn't get into this for the "numbers" game).

But when I logged back in later?  The number was mysteriously up again.  So, nosy me went to check it out.  And it was one of my favorite reads.  She'd become a friend!!!  I was delirious (I know that is spelled right-why does it look soooo wrong?).

So without further ado, let's all welcome Texan Mama (she's not actually from Texas - but hey!  She moved there so we will count her as one!  And yeah?  So I moved away?  Guess what - I'm still a Texan and will always be one!  So there!)

Stop in, say hi - tell her I said hi.  She is fabulous, she is friendly and she is real!  You will love her and her family, I just know it.

********
As an update on the last post (since I can't leave you hanging....) - It has yet to be resolved.  Mainly, because once he got over his "hiding out" and asked me what the problem was - he did it with attitude.  And seriously?  Am too tired (hello?  I've been up since 4:00 am stewing over this) to deal with attitude.  I pretty much told him so and have been left alone ever since.  It will be resolved - most likely tomorrow.  It will all be fine in the end - it usually is (yes, we've done this dance before, as have all couples).  But mostly, I wanted to thank you all for your kind & supportive comments - usually I feel very alone and insecure when Hubby and I argue....but you guys - while not making it "easier" per se . . . you've made me feel less alone.  Thank you.

Because I just had to get it out!

Warning!  Major rant about to follow.

I realize that I am feeling "touchy" right now.  But come on.

I was sitting on the back porch happily making my lists because it's actually nice enough to sit out for once.  My list and my hubby's honey-do list.  He and Man-Child wander out to chat.  I make an innocent comment about something that needs to be done (nicely too mind you - wasn't bitchy at all!  I swear!).

Do you know what that man had the absolute nerve to say?  He told me to "relax" that "we are living in the house and to just enjoy it."

Seriously????  First of all - just because we are living here doesn't mean that there is nothing to be done.  And second of all (and yes, it really isn't a direct connection - but in my mind it is) - just about all the things HE has wanted to do has been done or is in the process of being done.  Patio that we certainly did not need (or could really spare the cash for)?  Done.  Retaining wall next to said patio (again that we did not need or could readily afford at the time)?  Done.  The efff-ing shed that we had to have immediately (which still isn't done!!  How many months later???) - in process -AND?  The construction waste is still sitting in the yard - because he told the construction guys not to worry about it! (WTF?) So this crap has been sitting there since Christmas.  Yes, Christmas.  How many months ago was that?  About three months ago, thank you very much! 

The things I have wanted to do?  Cabinets for the laundry or the butler's pantry?  Emmmm - not a necessity.  The tree I wanted re-planted to replace the dead one?  Not done.  Oh, but he did pull up the dead one back in the fall (yay him) but has left the gaping hole sitting there for nigh on how many months now?  Any household or landscaping projects that I've wanted done - I've had to do myself.  Which pretty much has meant that although some of it got done (simply because I am tenacious to a fault) - the majority?  Not done - simply because I don't have the strength or the know-how. 

Yes, I know this all sounds very petty - and yes, I'm as prickly as a porcupine today (I know this and freely admit it) - but for the love of Mike - seems to me he's been pretty damn selfish lately and I'm pretty sick of it.  I'm not looking for major renovations or prohibitively expensive things done.  Really right now - I'd be pretty happy just to have the construction crap out of my yard - is that too much to ask?  I'm sure the neighbors would probably appreciate the hell out of it too. 

And you know what else ticks me off?  Instead of saying, "Honey, what's wrong?" after I tore up his list (which did not include most of the things I listed above - instead included piddly little things that would take him no time to accomplish!) and told him that he was free to "enjoy" living here, do you know what he did?  He went inside, ate dinner and left.  Do I give a rat's ass where he's gone?  No.  (But I've a pretty fair idea where he's at and for all I care right now he can stay there).  Am I being irrationally upset over such a minor comment that I most likely took wrong?  Probably.  But you know what?  I don't care - I've been very patient and I'm tired of it - I want a few things done around here - so what? 

And you know what?  They will get done.  He will either do them or he can damn well pay to have them done.  And then he can sit back and "enjoy" living here until I have another hissy fit (which may be sooner than he thinks!).

Tag! You're It!

Recently I was tagged in a Photo Meme, by the wonderful Wilderness Chic.

At first I was concerned about what kind of picture would end up here.  Since the death of my other laptop not too many pictures have been downloaded to the new one.  I figured we'd have to put up with some stock photo that came with the computer and I would have to make up some kind of story.  But then my brain began to work and I recalled that I have bunches & bunches of pictures on the work computer (that I really, really need to pull off......note to self.) 

Anyway.....this picture is of my very dear friend.whom I've known for 24 years now (how did that happen?).  She still lives in Texas and I miss her every day.  This picture was taken last summer when she came to visit.  She and I can not see each other for years and pick up right where we left off.  Even while apart (and not telling each other either) we are either doing or buying the same things.  It's quite funny - around the time I got interested in Feng Shui - so did she.  When I got my Blackberry - turns out she got one as well.  As I don't have a sister I have claimed her to be mine - and even though she has a sister she's graciously agreed.

The rules are as follows:

Open the first photo folder you find.

Scroll to the tenth photo

Post the photo and tell the story behind it

Tag five or more people

Being the rebel-child I am - I tag you all!  You're it.  Get busy.

My mind has been completely and totally blown.....

I have learned a lot in my short time in the blogging world.  The following is just scratches the surface of what I have learned.....

I've learned that people "across the pond" eat weirdly named things - like "Scotch Eggs"  "toad in the hole."

I've learned that those same people celebrate Mothering Day (read Mother's Day in American) in March and not May.

And most recently?  I have learned that our Canadian friends buy their milk in bags.

Yes, BAGS.

Out of all the things I've learned - it's the last that has completely freaked me out.

I don't know why.

But really?  Milk? In bags?

Apparently, they buy the milk (in bags), bring it home, snip off a corner and place the bag into a pitcher.  Why do they not just pour the milk into the pitcher and toss the bag.  That I might could understand - recycling and all. 

I'm very confused by this.

Milk -In. A. BAG.  It blows my mind......

********

If you would like a more detailed (and pictoral) explanation - please visit Momma where she explains how it all works (and is confused that us Americans are confused.....)

The dammit I forgot again - better known as the What's In Your Bag post!

The ever darling Chic Mama has tagged me in the What's In My Bag game.

I've seen this around in the blog-o-sphere and it seems fun.  So here you go (be warned - there is nothing of burning interest in there.  Now had you asked me back in the day when Man-Child was small there would have been little Lego "guys" and multitude of rocks and anything else he found of interest....)

Here's the bag.  Where's it  from?  I don't know.  Let's just call it "vintage" since I've had it forever!  I have been in the market for a new one for a while now.  But I'm picky and haven't found anything I like yet.  I'm also one of those women that would love to switch out her bag to match her outfit - but you know what?  I don't have time for that - I'm lucky I've matched my shoes in the morning much less worrying about my bag.  So this is what I lug around all the time.

As for the contents?  Ahhhh. You are very lucky (or I am since it saves me from embarrassment....) I had recently cleaned it out (prior to being tagged thank you very much!) - so the contents are extremely mundane.

As you can see, I carry the requiste makeup bag - except mine only contains Blistex (THE only thing that heals chapped lips!), the mositurizer part of my lipstick, several lipsticks I've bought and ignored since they didn't stay on as promised (hey, I'm busy - I don't want to be re-applying all the time), hand cream and possibly some emergency "products" for those "special" days that sometimes sneak up upon us....

I've got the wallet which I love.  Except for the fact that it doesn't hold change.  For that I have the spotted change purse - which for some reason, every time I use it I am reminded of being in grade school.

A check book - which frankly, gets used so seldom these days I'm surprised the checks haven't yellowed and become crisp with age.

There's the shades - which I carry around in all weather optimistically hoping for the sun to peep out.

Gum - because, well, it's gum.  You gotta have gum.

Benadryl tablets - because for some reason my dear son thinks if he pretends he doesn't have allergies then he won't suffer.  But then he does and who is the one who is prepared and ready?  Mom.  Upon retrospect, maybe I should keep them in the makeup bag instead of floating around crazily in the bag?  Hmmm, something to think about.

My little bag of crystals - which include a rose quartz, tiger-eye, quartz & some other's that I can't be bothered haven't had the time to figure out what they are - but I feel sure they are helpful....cause, they are crystals, right?  But my gripe with the pretty little bag?  It won't stay closed - ever.  So then I have all the stones floating around in the bag.

My camera case because I want to be ready for all those wonderful pictures that I take.....yeah, who am I kidding.  These two photos in this post?  Probably the only ones I've taken all year.....I lug that camera around everywhere and yet can never seem to remember that I have it on me.....it's a cute little camera though.  It's a red Nikon and I love it...whenever I can remember that I have it....

Pens, in the event I need to write something down.  No paper of course.  But I've got those checks that are going un-used......it's called recycling!

And, last but not least, a tape measure.  Why?  Because you never know when you will need to measure something.  Shelves for the as yet unfinished cloest?  When you find a very cute table for that area I've been working on - is it the right size?  Of course, as my tape measure is miniscule - half the time you will find me marking the end spot with my finger and starting over from there to complete the measurement - and then you can watch with hilarity as I try to add the two measurements together.  (As an aside - God help me if the measurements on the box read in "feet" because I always have my measurements in inches and to convert that?  My brain would surely explode.  I've been known to call Man-Child and whisper furtively into the phone - "I need to know - how many feet is xxxx inches?"  I need not have bothered whispering - because all my fellow shopping patrons can hear him laughing hysterically.....::sigh:: such is my life).

I'm wondering what I could possibly be missing in there.  Ah yes, keys and phone.  But realistically, both of those are usually in my pockets - so I guess they don't count.

So now it is your turn - Bare Naked Mummy, Liz, Brighton Mum, Muummmmeeeeee......, and Mrs. Lovely.  What are you carrying around on a daily basis, hmmmmm?

Ooops!  Guess I should hit publish before I run around telling everyone they've been tagged......

PS - hmmmm, maybe check for a TITLE before hitting publish as well.... ah well, if you've known me for any length of time you should be used to this . . .

Happy DST & Mother's Day!

I love Daylight Savings Time. 

I know everyone hates the aggravation and the "jet lag" of switching the clocks.  But Daylight Savings Time?  It ROCKS!

Why?

Because it is 6:45 pm and it is still daylight.  And I am still dressed.  Usually by now, I've put on the p.j.'s and prepped for bed.   Why?  Because it is dark.  And when it is dark - it's time to go to bed.  That's how I roll (yeah, big party animal over here.)

During Daylight Savings Time I tend to be super productive and generally happier - I'm convinced it's because of the extension of the sunlight.

Personally, I think they need to figure out a way to keep it lighter later longer (say that three times fast!) all year round.  It would make me one happy camper - and if I'm a happy camper then usually those around me are a bit happier as well.....just ask Hubby & Man-Child, they'll confirm that it's true.

It's only day one of DST and I have been super-super productive.

My house is clean enough that if you un-expectedly showed up at the door, I'd actually let you in rather than hiding in a closet and pretending I wasn't home (not that my house is usually a total rat's nest!  But still, I'd rather you not see it if it's not at least half-way decent....and as we've discovered in previous posts - if my family is here - then my house is not kept up to my standards [because they go behind me and purposely mess everything up!  Really!]  Hmmm-am seriously thinking they must move to the never-to-be-finished-shed/guest house ASAP.).

Laundry - while not completely done - the majority is done, folded, hung and put away (and you know laundry is the bane of my existence!).  And I can see the laundry room floor - BONUS!  (As far as ironing goes - forget it.  I don't do it - if you want something ironed in this house - you do it yourself or send it out for cleaning.)

Top tabs on blog; figured out (kinda).  For this I have Fab In Your Forties to thank.  This is something I have struggled with for months now.  I would start to mess with it, get frustrated and realize I had something more important to do and let it go.  Today Fab tweeted that she was ready to smash her computer.  As a friend, I simply could not let that happen!  So I Googled it....again.  But, as is the way with the all mighty Google, it's all in how you phrase your request.  Today I phrased it just a twitch different and hit upon the result I'd been seeking all this time.  I sent Fab the link tout-de-suite!  Hopefully it works for her (email me dear if it doesn't, we'll figure it out.  I mean it is only technology after all and as you know, we are far superior!) as it did for me.  What?  You haven't noticed my top tabs?  I realize they are tiny, but still....  There are only two for now, but I expect I'll be adding to them now that I've figured it out.

I even got a bit of shopping done today.  I have been obsessing over a scrolled mail sorter for a while now.  I have searched and searched.  I have yet to find it.  I know they are out there - I've seen them.  But now that I am searching for them?  Nowhere to be found - such is the story of my life - once it's in my head and I want it I simply can't find it.  Hmmm, note to self:  learn how to do metal work - it may be the only way to find what you are looking for....

Although I did find some boyfriend jeans and am super excited about that as they don't make me look as short (and round) as I thought they might.  So, a mini-yay!

I have also discovered that today they celebrate Mothering Day in the UK (almost tomorrow over there now....) - another thing learned from my friends across the pond.  So, to all my dear friends who are/have celebrating/celebrated today - Happy Mother's Day! 

And for those of us in the US - Happy Daylight Savings Time!!!