May 19, 2010

The positives & negatives

Am trying to find the positives in having Hubby home all day.  So far, the pickings have been slim. (and yes, I know!  We are only four working days into this layoff.....)

But this morning he took Man-Child to school.  And while that doesn't sound like a big deal, it kinda is.  See, Man-Child doesn't attend a neighborhood school.  His school is about twenty minutes west of our house.  My job?  About twenty minutes east of our house.  (Am trying to think if I got the directions right....) With morning traffic thrown in (and if Man-Child drives - that means we go the back way and stay off the highway because he is nowhere near ready for the morning commute yet!) - all together it's about an hour round-trip for me to leave the house in the morning to drop him off and get to work.  Which I don't mind - most of the time.  But this morning?  I realized, I'd get to sleep in at least another 45 minutes to an hour (well, I would have had someone decided to inform me that he was driving before my alarm went off at the usual time....).  So am currently thinking this should become the new norm for now.  I am currently perfecting my pitch to Hubby.

Another positive - he has dinner waiting.  Okay, okay.  I realize - he's always had dinner waiting and, yes, I know. I don't generally eat it.  BUT - he is trying new things and loving it.  That's a positive for him and Man-Child.

He's trying really hard to work out at least twice a day.  Once in the morning and then again when the Weight-lifting Machine (aka Man-Child) gets home from school.  This can be nothing but good.

He's also planning to get some things done around the house.  Another positive.  But yet a negative.

A negative because that involves spending money.  I know, me!  Freaking out about money....but it's true.  Must mean I'm finally growing up *sigh*  We aren't in a bind.  But I don't want to get into a bind any sooner than we have to, if at all, if you know what I mean.

Another negative?  The house is never spotless.  Because he's home.  Yes, he picks his socks up and puts them in the laundry.  But he doesn't see the things I see.  You know - the clutter.  Like the cooking crap (spices & whatnot) all over the counter.  We have plenty of cabinets and a pantry.  There is no need for that stuff to be left out on the counter.  Drives me bananas.  I walked into the kitchen this morning and immediately saw an entire cabinets worth of stuff left on the counter.  My obsessive self immediately began to itch and curse at the same time.

Don't even get me started on the paper and stuff left on the dumping ground - excuse me - I mean the dining room table!

I remember when I was laid off (or, more accurately, when I quit (but forced them to say I was laid off) since they hadn't paid me for three months...tomato - tahmato) the house was freaking spotless.  The house had never been that clean.  I'm trying really hard to remember - he just doesn't see things the way I do and I  know that in reality? Even when he worked it didn't stay completely spotless - 'cause yes, I do have a teenager that lives here.....and I work outside the home.

The one big, big negative that I've seen so far is that he's bored.  So I know he's hanging out with his chronically unemployed friend.  This guy, although he's a great guy (he really is - in his own way), is allergic to work.  Seriously.  He should have been born a man of leisure.  With his own country.  Anyway.  In addition to being allergic to work - he likes to drink.  A LOT.  But to be fair, he's working hard on this (or so I understand).  So although Hubby has never exhibited any of these traits - I'm worried about peer pressure (for a 50 year old man!).  Because really, wouldn't we all just sit around with our friends and drink the day away if we could?

Which, in turn, makes those things he wants to do around the house?  Well, it turns those back into a positive.  Because that will keep him busy and away from the bad influence.

I know I'm controlling.  I know this.  And I'm trying really, really hard not to point some of these things out as we are still in the early days yet.  So as much as I want to crack out that Honey-Do list - I haven't.  I know he's in a tough place right now (he's still so, so angry). 

But another positive?  He's looking better than he has in years.  The stress and tension are almost gone (unless he starts thinking or talking about the whole thing).  He's not sleeping too well - and that makes him cranky (he actually snapped at me this morning!  Usually it's the other way around as I am the one who is not the morning person around here).  But other than that - he's looking great.  That alone makes all this worth while.

The biggest positive of all?  That once this is over and done with - I feel sure that he will be in a better place.  And we will be a stronger family.

Seriously, I don't want to turn this blog into one big "OMG, Hubby lost his job - whatever will we do" blog.   This blog was started to get the stuff out of my head.  And right now, while it's still fresh?  Well, that's what's in there.  So please bear with me.  Eventually we will return to the normal randomness that is me.


  1. Vent away! I think this will make all of you a stronger family, we are all adaptable. And hubby driving MC to school, or MC driving him, great idea. Its another positive for both of them, bonding time and and hour extra for you! Something will turn up, work wise for hubby I'm sure Positive vibes Gigi, positive vibes honey! We know how well those work, truely, we do. xxx

  2. Oh bugger! where did my comment go?? I left a comment...

  3. I imagine it's a big change for the both of you being home like that. Derek was unemployed for a few months last year and he was soo bored. But the fact that he's feeling better without all the stress from his work can only be a good thing and fingers crossed here in Canada that he finds a fantastic job soon!

  4. At least there ARE some positives and you have managed to find them. Here's to keeping the positive vibe going!

  5. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. I am just sending you some vibes of sympathy and understanding. It's all I've got, but I hear you.

  6. Blogging is about writing to make yourself feel good. No matter what you write about. We are here and we are listening, good or bad. Keep venting and when things feel better you can stop. No worries. Take care friend.

  7. I think you've got a wonderful attitude throughout this, sweetie. You're entitled to some trepidation here and there...I'm sure it's weird and unsettling, to say the least.

    Hubby should definitely drive Man-child to school...and he should keep the counters's the least he can do to relieve some of your stress...

  8. Yeah, when Tom is home from work he can drive me crazy. But sometimes it's not so bad. Especially when he surprises me and does the dishes.

  9. It's such a huge thing that's happened and had such an impact on your life and emotions, I'm hardly surprised you want to off-load!

  10. Oh you should tell us whatever you want! It's your blog!! You sound so much like me........I am and would be exactely the same way. My husband doesn't see the clutter either. I have to beg him just to go throught his mail!! Drives me nuts!!

  11. Oh, don't know how I missed this post..sorry.
    I can imagine how frustrating you feel. It must be so hard. :0(
    Fingers crossed this won't be a situation that lasts long.


I generally respond to comments via email...if your blog/id is not tied to your email, I will attempt to respond here...but I would strongly suggest that you make your email available if you want to continue the conversation.

Unfortunately, for some reason people with Yahoo emails are receiving bounce-backs. Your comment will be published but I won't be notified; but I will respond once I realize you've left a comment.