With the weather being so iffy this weekend, and the fact that we had another teenager for the whole weekend, I didn't make any plans to work in the yard or to do anything else for that matter.
I have read and read and read. To the point where I'm actually tired of reading (I know! Me??). I have picked kids up; dropped kids off; picked them back up again and then dropped them back wherever it was they needed to end up. I've read some blogs. I've done laundry, of course. And thought.
I remember when Man-Child was small. Life was absolutely hectic. Even when we had no plans. He was a busy little guy and there was always something going on or something to do. Go to the park! The library! Ice cream! Lunches to be made. Come play with me mom! Read to me! Listen to me read. Look at me! See what I can do!
These days, life isn't as busy. I'm not being asked to take him to the park and play. I'm never asked to read to him or play with his "guys" (super hero figurines) or legos. To kiss his boo-boos and make them better. There are no more nap times, bath times and bed time routines. Now, about all I do is run a taxi service. And occasionally, help him figure out what he's doing wrong with the computer when a homework assignment is looming.
It's kinda sad. For so many years, we've been mommy and daddy. Now, we are just mom and dad. Not as necessary as we once were. No more are we the heros. The ones who had all the answers and could always fix it - whatever "it" was.
And I know it's just going to get worse. Once he has his license (and a car) we will be totally on our own. And then there is college just a few short years down the road. What will we do then? How will we fill the time?
It is apparent - I am going to need a hobby. Something to keep me busy.
I know I'm supposed to embrace the man he is becoming. And I do. Most of the time. I know I am supposed to cherish each phase as it comes. And I do. Most of the time. I know I'm supposed to relish the freedom that comes with him growing up. And I do. Most of the time.
But sometimes, like today, I really, really miss being a mommy.
Now that I've depressed the hell out of myself - I guess I'll go find something useful to do.....
Gigi, not to worry. My son is 23 and they do grow closer the older they get. It does go full circle. And if nothing else, we possess the bank account. LOL
ReplyDeleteCheer up...have a great day.
Aww, I know this feeling so well! I empathise completely with you. But as Respectively Yours says, you grow a new, but different relationship with them. But it does take time to get used to, but you'll find it.
ReplyDeleteI have no children, but I can tell you now that I'm 29, I'm probably closer to my Ma than ever (yeah, I call her 'Ma').
ReplyDeleteI have been feeling kinda sad about my grandson getting older and he is only 3 1/2. I guess since I am pretty sure he is going to be my only one..it makes me even sadder!
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