Have I told you that my birthday is quickly approaching? No? Well, it is - but keep it under your hat; it's kind of a secret.
In fact, it has just been brought to my attention that it is next week. (eek! How did it sneak up on me so quickly?)
In honor of the occasion, I have decided to take next week off from work. What????? You don’t celebrate for an entire week? Well, then you should.
Actually, I’d prefer to celebrate the entire month of July, and I will – but at work they kind of frown upon you taking that much time off at once. Personally, I think we should just automatically get a day off for your birthday. Alas, it is not meant to be. Apparently, Management is comprised of a passle of soul-less, heartless, joyless drones who don’t celebrate their birthdays, don’t like kittens or small children. Jerks.
As usual, I digress…back to the point of this post….which was…..
Dammit, I’ve forgotten......
Oh! Now I remember....
Man-Child has asked what I wanted to do for my big day. When I responded with “Nothing.” you’d have thought his eyes were going to fall out of his head. When he asked if we should have a party with all of our friends, I declined. He just stared at me agape. He doesn’t understand. Of course, he’s also a social animal (like his father) and is always looking for a reason to have people over.
I really don’t want to “do” anything. Yes, I realize I’ve admitted that I’m turning into a hermit before, but truly this has nothing to do with my recent bout of hermitage.
I just don’t like to be the center of attention. (Quit laughing! It’s true).
I would rather celebrate with just my guys. Maybe go to dinner. Be treated like a princess by them for the whole month of July - because really? That is NOT an unreasonable expectation. Maybe schedule a quiet lunch with a friend or two. But all the hoopla? Nah, I don’t need it. It embarrasses me and makes me uncomfortable.
So how am I planning on spending my week off? Probably not doing much. Trying to sleep in – which is something I seem to have lost the ability to do. So, although I can’t seem to sleep in anymore I’ll just relish being able to wake up without the obnoxious alarm clock. Maybe it will be cool enough to get some yard work done. I have a gift certificate for a massage and mani/pedi that I hope to cash in. Maybe a bit of shopping. Have planned a day trip to Carowinds with Man-Child; which should be a lot of fun - although neither of us does roller coasters, usually (because despite our big talk - we are both big chickens). Which leads me to another point.
Man-Child (who must be coaxed into riding the rides at amusement parks) has been driving me nuts about wanting to go zip-lining lately. I just don't get it. This is the kid who, as a baby, hated heights so much that we never got any use out of his changing table, wants to go zipping through the trees? This is the kid who I've had to bribe to ride certain rides? This is the kid who has yet been persuaded to get onto the highway when he's driving? (Although, to be fair, I don't blame him for this, particularly after discovering that our drivers are the 14th worst ones in the United States which kinda surprised me as I figured with all the morons on the road we'd be in the top 5!)
Clearly, he's been playing me for a fool for lo, these many years.
The thought of zip-lining seems cool to me. Until I start to really think about it. And, add in the fact that I'm a total klutz (seriously? Almost missed the chair I was trying to sit on today - much to the hilarity of one of my co-workers. Which was kind of funny in it's own way, as she was on the phone and trying desperately to stay "professional" instead of howling in laughter. It was a sight, I tell you.) then the whole thought of actually participating makes me break out in a cold sweat. Because I can sooooooo see me slamming smack-dab into a tree ala George of the Jungle.
So any way....back to my birthday. Although I do hate to be the center of attention (quit laughing already!), I do like presents. Lots of them. The more the better. Just please don't ask me to open them in front of people (you know, that whole center of attention thing). So if you want to mail me stuff - please do!
Just know this - the entire month of July (especially next week) - it's all gonna be about me!
June 30, 2010
June 29, 2010
Seriously??? It's Vacation BIBLE School y'all!!
Hmmm, just wondering exactly how many of my posts start out with "Seriously???"......am thinking quite a few.
Anyway, on to the subject at hand....I may have mentioned in the past that my son's school requires, among other things, that each student complete so many service (volunteer) hours as a way of passing on to the next grade. In my mind this is a good thing. Learning to give back to others, etc. It can't help but mold another good human, right? And we could seriously do with a lot more good humans roaming the earth, in my opinion.
After his very successful venture into volunteering to help out at the VBS last year (which also knocked out all of his service hours in one fell swoop), Man-Child decided to do it again this year. Great. Not a problem. The hours worked out (at least last year when it was my duty to ferry him back & forth) so that it wasn't an issue. This year? Same thing (although now hubby is on call to pick him up).
Last year went off without a hitch. Everything was fine. Man-Child is good with small kids and had a fine time, as did the kids. It was all good.
This year? We are only two days into this week and already an email has been sent to the volunteer's parents.
Wanna' know why?
Apparently someone (not Man-Child, who knows he would surely be killed for this by me if he did do this) took it upon themselves to use sidewalk chalk to draw an "obscene image" on the side of a building for all the small children to see. (Of what, I don't know but can only imagine. The email didn't go into detail and MC swears he saw, and knows, nothing. He may live for another day)
Okay, teens will be teens. Whatever. But apparently you (the teen in question) have failed to realize that small children (can you say pre-schoolers?) have no real idea about what "you" may find funny. And in fact, this in turn may prompt uncomfortable questions, etc. that the parents then have to deal with. Not to mention the fact that you signed up for this (okay maybe at your parent's insistence, but still....)
Can't you suck it up for a week? Or at least for the 3 1/2 hours that you are supposed to be watching out for small ones? Seriously?????
Anyway, on to the subject at hand....I may have mentioned in the past that my son's school requires, among other things, that each student complete so many service (volunteer) hours as a way of passing on to the next grade. In my mind this is a good thing. Learning to give back to others, etc. It can't help but mold another good human, right? And we could seriously do with a lot more good humans roaming the earth, in my opinion.
After his very successful venture into volunteering to help out at the VBS last year (which also knocked out all of his service hours in one fell swoop), Man-Child decided to do it again this year. Great. Not a problem. The hours worked out (at least last year when it was my duty to ferry him back & forth) so that it wasn't an issue. This year? Same thing (although now hubby is on call to pick him up).
Last year went off without a hitch. Everything was fine. Man-Child is good with small kids and had a fine time, as did the kids. It was all good.
This year? We are only two days into this week and already an email has been sent to the volunteer's parents.
Wanna' know why?
Apparently someone (not Man-Child, who knows he would surely be killed for this by me if he did do this) took it upon themselves to use sidewalk chalk to draw an "obscene image" on the side of a building for all the small children to see. (Of what, I don't know but can only imagine. The email didn't go into detail and MC swears he saw, and knows, nothing. He may live for another day)
Okay, teens will be teens. Whatever. But apparently you (the teen in question) have failed to realize that small children (can you say pre-schoolers?) have no real idea about what "you" may find funny. And in fact, this in turn may prompt uncomfortable questions, etc. that the parents then have to deal with. Not to mention the fact that you signed up for this (okay maybe at your parent's insistence, but still....)
Can't you suck it up for a week? Or at least for the 3 1/2 hours that you are supposed to be watching out for small ones? Seriously?????
Have You Ever?
So, Momma over at Live. Laugh. Pull Your Hair Out (is that not the most fabulous name for a blog from a woman with a family?) has started this wonderful new thing (sorry, don't know what to call it...a blog-along?) that she pulls out every once in a while, that she calls Have You Ever....
So when I mentioned to her that I would love to play along, but was intimidated she immediately responded with "Why?" (ummm, because hers are so great I can't possibly measure up?) So although, I'm a day late and a dollar short (as usual), I've decided to try and do it. (Plus the boys aren't here - so maybe I can get some creative momentum going here before they get back?)
Have you ever......
Cursed your car so long and loud that people begin to look at you funny? (Because seriously? If the car isn't paid off yet, then it has no right to just stop working properly)
Have you ever......
Wondered what in the world was going through your child's mind when he decided that it would be a great - no scratch that - an EXCELLENT idea to sign up for Latin next year? (when he barely passed Spanish for the past two and he's got another really difficult course on the books for next year? Hello? Seriously? For the next two years those grades need to be the best they've ever been!)
Have you ever......
Looked at your Hubby and said, "Oh my God! He is perfect!" because he just went from cooking a wonderful dinner to (attempting) to fix your car? (which he has! Yay Hubby!! Blowing extra kisses your way!)
and then . . .
Have you ever......
Completely revised your opinion when he proudly shows off some disgusting manly trait (I'm sure you all can insert your own version here.....except for the male readers - who will undoubtedly inform me that there are NO disgusting manly traits and inform me of a few female traits that drive them crazy.....)
Have you ever......
Made a list of all the things that need to be done around the house. And then been depressed because never in a million years will there ever be enough time or money to get it all done? (If you haven't, then I strongly recommend you don't. Too depressing.)
Have you ever......
Painted your toenails blue (nod to Momma here, as she's asked this question before)? If not, then I recommend you do so immediately! The un-traditional colors are not just for the kids, folks. I say as I admire my very blue toes.....you can't help but smile when you see blue toes!
Have you ever......
Met people online and clicked instantly? In such a way, that you wished they were your neighbors? (Seriously, y'all this could be one really cool neighborhood if y'all would just move.....)
Have you ever......
Been dealt a very big shock - and after the dust settles, realized it was most likely the best thing that could have ever happened - even though the repercussions haven't fully hit yet?
Have you ever......
Walked through the house at just the right moment, when the sun is illuminating that certain corner, and said - "OMG! That is SO dusty! I should do something about that." And then went back to blogging rather than dealing with it?
*****
If you'd like to play along, feel free. Just be sure to pop in over at Momma's and let her know that you are joining in by adding your link. And, just for the record. Once you get started, it's not as hard (or as intimidating) as it first seems.....
So when I mentioned to her that I would love to play along, but was intimidated she immediately responded with "Why?" (ummm, because hers are so great I can't possibly measure up?) So although, I'm a day late and a dollar short (as usual), I've decided to try and do it. (Plus the boys aren't here - so maybe I can get some creative momentum going here before they get back?)
Have you ever......
Cursed your car so long and loud that people begin to look at you funny? (Because seriously? If the car isn't paid off yet, then it has no right to just stop working properly)
Have you ever......
Wondered what in the world was going through your child's mind when he decided that it would be a great - no scratch that - an EXCELLENT idea to sign up for Latin next year? (when he barely passed Spanish for the past two and he's got another really difficult course on the books for next year? Hello? Seriously? For the next two years those grades need to be the best they've ever been!)
Have you ever......
Looked at your Hubby and said, "Oh my God! He is perfect!" because he just went from cooking a wonderful dinner to (attempting) to fix your car? (which he has! Yay Hubby!! Blowing extra kisses your way!)
and then . . .
Have you ever......
Completely revised your opinion when he proudly shows off some disgusting manly trait (I'm sure you all can insert your own version here.....except for the male readers - who will undoubtedly inform me that there are NO disgusting manly traits and inform me of a few female traits that drive them crazy.....)
Have you ever......
Made a list of all the things that need to be done around the house. And then been depressed because never in a million years will there ever be enough time or money to get it all done? (If you haven't, then I strongly recommend you don't. Too depressing.)
Have you ever......
Painted your toenails blue (nod to Momma here, as she's asked this question before)? If not, then I recommend you do so immediately! The un-traditional colors are not just for the kids, folks. I say as I admire my very blue toes.....you can't help but smile when you see blue toes!
Have you ever......
Met people online and clicked instantly? In such a way, that you wished they were your neighbors? (Seriously, y'all this could be one really cool neighborhood if y'all would just move.....)
Have you ever......
Been dealt a very big shock - and after the dust settles, realized it was most likely the best thing that could have ever happened - even though the repercussions haven't fully hit yet?
Have you ever......
Walked through the house at just the right moment, when the sun is illuminating that certain corner, and said - "OMG! That is SO dusty! I should do something about that." And then went back to blogging rather than dealing with it?
*****
If you'd like to play along, feel free. Just be sure to pop in over at Momma's and let her know that you are joining in by adding your link. And, just for the record. Once you get started, it's not as hard (or as intimidating) as it first seems.....
June 27, 2010
Is It Hot In Here?
Am I living back in Texas? Seriously?
Hmmm, apparently I am going to need gas soon...
That temperature, along with the heat index meant that today felt like 102-104 degrees. To say it's been uncomfortable is a total understatement.
It seems like we totally skipped spring this year and just jumped feet first into the dog days of summer. This is not acceptable. (yes, yes, that was me moaning just a few short months ago about the cold....but who would have thought we'd be reaching the high 90's in June?!) Mother Nature is just not playing nice this year.
In heat like this there is no point in even attempting to "do" my hair. One because, even with air conditioning, the thought of getting under the hair dryer is painful and sweaty and two, with this humidity there is no way that the hair is ever going to stay straight. So, it's the "Why Yes, I DID Stick My Finger In An Electrical Socket" look for me today.
There's also no point in applying makeup - other than mascara and lipstick, of course, because it will just slide right off your face leaving a right streaky mess in the process. NOT a good look as I can say from experience.
In heat like this the best thing to do is sit somewhere cool and not move. Which really isn't practical - since someone has to get things done around here.
But you know what? Those things will just have to wait because it's just too darn hot to do anything else!
****
"They" say that we should be cooling off to more seasonable temperatures tomorrow. Boy I sure hope "they" are right for once....
June 25, 2010
Why is it....?
Why is it . . .
That no matter how many clothes may be hanging in the closet - I have nothing to wear?
Why is it . . .
That Man-Child doesn't seem as invested in his future as I am?
Why is it . . .
That no-one seems to be online at the same time as I am?
Why is it . . .
That the weekend seems to fly by - while the week drags on? (and yes, I do realize that it is only Friday night....but Monday is LOOMING people!)
Why is it . . .
That BP can't fix their "problem?"
Why is it . . .
That the government simply cannot stay out of our private lives?
Why is it . . .
That no matter what formatting I apply, Blogger seems to mess it up when I hit "Publish?"
Why is it . . .
That the fashion industry can't see what is in my head when I go shopping and provide what I am looking for?
Why is it . . .
That some people just cannot grasp the concept of professional behavior in a professional setting? (or professional dressing for that matter.....)
That no matter how many clothes may be hanging in the closet - I have nothing to wear?
Why is it . . .
That Man-Child doesn't seem as invested in his future as I am?
Why is it . . .
That no-one seems to be online at the same time as I am?
Why is it . . .
That the weekend seems to fly by - while the week drags on? (and yes, I do realize that it is only Friday night....but Monday is LOOMING people!)
Why is it . . .
That BP can't fix their "problem?"
Why is it . . .
That the government simply cannot stay out of our private lives?
Why is it . . .
That no matter what formatting I apply, Blogger seems to mess it up when I hit "Publish?"
Why is it . . .
That the fashion industry can't see what is in my head when I go shopping and provide what I am looking for?
Why is it . . .
That some people just cannot grasp the concept of professional behavior in a professional setting? (or professional dressing for that matter.....)
Why is it . . .
That MANAGEMENT insists on treating us like children?
Why is it . . .
That some people treat social networking (FaceBook, etc.) like it's their own personal platform for promoting their (multi-level marketing, i.e. cult) business? (Newsflash! I already hate FaceBook - you are quickly making it my mortal enemy!)
Why is it . . .
That most of you seem to post more earlier in the week than later (when I am more likely to be online - yes, totally contradicting my earlier edict)?
Happy Weekend, Y'all!
That most of you seem to post more earlier in the week than later (when I am more likely to be online - yes, totally contradicting my earlier edict)?
Happy Weekend, Y'all!
June 24, 2010
And so it begins . . . (I hope)
It starts with temperature dropping to just bearable degrees.
The wind begins to whip.
You wonder if you should head inside.
And then you begin to hear the rumbles.
You look up and this is what you see.....
The wind begins to whip.
You wonder if you should head inside.
And then you begin to hear the rumbles.
You look up and this is what you see.....
Sorry for the distortion - took the picture through the screen. Not a good idea if you want a good picture, by the way.
You hear a crack of lightening.
You really begin to wonder if you should go inside.
But the weather has teased you many, many times before.
And then it begins. Fat raindrops begin to fall.
And you sigh - with a bit of frustration and a bit of glee.
Because now you must head inside, but at least you won't have to water the plants tonight.
****
Yeah, things are looking a little parched 'round here lately. And if it's gonna rain - at least it's at night.
Scheduling Conflicts . . .
Back when Man-Child first started going to private school, we were told that he had to do so many "service" hours each year in order to pass to the next grade.
I thought this was a wonderful idea. One that should be implemented in schools - both public and private - across the land. There is no better way to teach our young what it means to give of your time and your talent. It also can teach them to appreciate what they have or how to make better choices in their lives. Remind me to tell you some day of the lessons learned when Man-Child served as a "juror" for several "teen courts" (which is an excellent program and one that I would recommend to every single middle-school aged child. It's eye-opening to both parent and child).
Anyway, this of course got me to thinking - that we (meaning Hubby) should find a way to give of our time and talents as well. You know, practice what you preach.
Well, this led us to turning our annual (bi-annual, or whenever) Christmas Party into a "party with a purpose." Whereby we ask our guests to bring non-perishable food items to be donated to a local food pantry. This was wildly successful.
But I kept thinking. We (meaning Hubby) could certainly do more. So when I noticed that our church was looking for people to cook for the priests once a week on a rotating basis - I figured it was perfect and signed him up immediately. (yes, I did ask him first.....maybe). So he cooks for the priests maybe 6 times a year now and, apparently, they are wild for his meatloaf!
When the volunteer coordinator had to quit because of "scheduling conflicts" I offered to take over. I mean seriously, (famous last words) how hard could it be?
And it isn't - for the most part. You assign everyone dates equally spaced out. Done. I coordinate the schedule for six months and send it out. Virtually takes no time at all on my part.
But then. . . I get responses. "Oh, I can't do this date - can I switch with someone?" "No, I can't do that date either." I send out another possibility. No response. I hit re-send. Nothing. Finally I call. "Oh, didn't I respond? I can do this date (the first one) after all."
Don't even get me started on what happens when someone's turn falls near a holiday.
If I recall correctly when the email went out that I was taking over it stated, "Gigi works full time so please try to coordinate re-scheduling between yourselves." Hmmphh. Apparently, everyone mis-read that part. Or they know where I work and figure I can't possibly be that busy (I'm not - but ssssh! That's our secret!)
Then I get an email from the church office. We are having a visiting priest on this date. Could we ask someone to provide an extra meal? And the whole process is repeated.
For the most part I can go for months without hearing from any of them. But then like clockwork it all begins again. And when I hear from one you can almost guarantee that I'm going to hear from at least three more within the week.
Then today I was hit with the news that we are getting two new priests. And they are now wondering if our little group could provide two meals a week instead of one.
My response? Sure. Ask them. I'm sure they'd love to help (as they really are the sweetest ladies - and lone gent). But.... you know, I don't think I'm going to be able to coordinate much longer because I have "scheduling conflicts."
I thought this was a wonderful idea. One that should be implemented in schools - both public and private - across the land. There is no better way to teach our young what it means to give of your time and your talent. It also can teach them to appreciate what they have or how to make better choices in their lives. Remind me to tell you some day of the lessons learned when Man-Child served as a "juror" for several "teen courts" (which is an excellent program and one that I would recommend to every single middle-school aged child. It's eye-opening to both parent and child).
Anyway, this of course got me to thinking - that we (meaning Hubby) should find a way to give of our time and talents as well. You know, practice what you preach.
Well, this led us to turning our annual (bi-annual, or whenever) Christmas Party into a "party with a purpose." Whereby we ask our guests to bring non-perishable food items to be donated to a local food pantry. This was wildly successful.
But I kept thinking. We (meaning Hubby) could certainly do more. So when I noticed that our church was looking for people to cook for the priests once a week on a rotating basis - I figured it was perfect and signed him up immediately. (yes, I did ask him first.....maybe). So he cooks for the priests maybe 6 times a year now and, apparently, they are wild for his meatloaf!
When the volunteer coordinator had to quit because of "scheduling conflicts" I offered to take over. I mean seriously, (famous last words) how hard could it be?
And it isn't - for the most part. You assign everyone dates equally spaced out. Done. I coordinate the schedule for six months and send it out. Virtually takes no time at all on my part.
But then. . . I get responses. "Oh, I can't do this date - can I switch with someone?" "No, I can't do that date either." I send out another possibility. No response. I hit re-send. Nothing. Finally I call. "Oh, didn't I respond? I can do this date (the first one) after all."
Don't even get me started on what happens when someone's turn falls near a holiday.
If I recall correctly when the email went out that I was taking over it stated, "Gigi works full time so please try to coordinate re-scheduling between yourselves." Hmmphh. Apparently, everyone mis-read that part. Or they know where I work and figure I can't possibly be that busy (I'm not - but ssssh! That's our secret!)
Then I get an email from the church office. We are having a visiting priest on this date. Could we ask someone to provide an extra meal? And the whole process is repeated.
For the most part I can go for months without hearing from any of them. But then like clockwork it all begins again. And when I hear from one you can almost guarantee that I'm going to hear from at least three more within the week.
Then today I was hit with the news that we are getting two new priests. And they are now wondering if our little group could provide two meals a week instead of one.
My response? Sure. Ask them. I'm sure they'd love to help (as they really are the sweetest ladies - and lone gent). But.... you know, I don't think I'm going to be able to coordinate much longer because I have "scheduling conflicts."
June 22, 2010
Oh to be young & bullet-proof....
Apparently, the older I get the more of a hypochondriac I become.
I line up all my mandatory doctor's visits one after another - just to get them over with as quickly as possible. Except for my dentist - who insists on seeing me at least twice a year - yeah, she likes to throw a monkey wrench into my plan as often as possible.
First up. Eye doctor. This one doesn't bother me. I'm practically blind. I know this. I've known this since about 2nd grade. In order to see, I must visit him.
Next up - mammogram. Sounds fun doesn't it? It's not. Now that I'm officially "over 40" I must go see them yearly. They are very nice people considering the brand of torture they like to inflict. I have heard it bandied about that if men had to have their "bits" tested in this manner that we'd have a kinder, easier way of dealing with it - like an all-over body scan or something. I have a fibroid, a very large one ("that's almost a whole cup size up," the doctor quipped!) that was biopsied a few years ago - just to be sure. Talk about torture. Probably the most terrifying experience I've ever had. But now, even knowing that it's just a fibroid, the thought of going terrifies me. It's the whole "what if" thing. Yeah, like all of the sudden, out of the blue, it's going to decide to be a bitch and metamorphose (why does that word not look right?) into something it's not. It didn't. At least not this year.
Next - my yearly. Which, is definitely NOT fun. But on the plus side I was told today that I don't have to come back for two years now. This one has me scratching my head because I've always been told to go every. single. year. Even my insurance company tells me to go. In fact they send me letters reminding me to go. Hmmm, think it may have something to do with this brand, spanking-new Healthcare Bill???? (just where is that sarcasm font!) Anyway, for days before I go I begin to do an overall body check. Hmmmm, just what is that strange little bump hidden away behind my ear? (an ingrown hair) These headaches that I've been having every day at exactly 3:00 pm - that can't be good. (sinus headaches - take Benadryl and they miraculously go away) Why are my hands peeling?????? (mmmm, a blister 'cause you are a dummy and worked in the yard without wear your gardening gloves) Oh and there's this numb spot in my shoulder blade that only hurts at the end of the day (yeah. Well, you hunch over a computer for eight hours a day, come home and hunch some more. Try sitting up straight.) By the time I get there I am totally convinced that I must be dying. But it turns out I'm not. That I'm actually in pretty good shape for a woman my age, with bad habits, who is as lazy as I am. Yay me! Although she did tell me to exercise. Ugh. Gardening counts - doesn't it? Sure it does!
But the funny part? During the rest of the year if I encounter any of this - I shrug it off as nothing or recognize it for what it really is. But once those doctor visits start to loom.....all bets are off. I never had these thoughts when I was younger.
Back then, I'd breeze into the office and be shocked if they told me something might not be right (pneumonia? Are you sure? 'Cause I feel fine....). Ohh, to be young & bullet-proof again.
And this is why I've blocked myself from visiting WebMd.
*****
Okay ladies, all complaining aside. These are important annual (despite what they are now saying) visits. If you haven't been lately, make an appointment right now and go! As wives, mothers and women in general - we tend to take care of others in our lives before ourselves - but in these areas? It's more important that we take care of ourselves - so we can continue to take care of those that we love.
I line up all my mandatory doctor's visits one after another - just to get them over with as quickly as possible. Except for my dentist - who insists on seeing me at least twice a year - yeah, she likes to throw a monkey wrench into my plan as often as possible.
First up. Eye doctor. This one doesn't bother me. I'm practically blind. I know this. I've known this since about 2nd grade. In order to see, I must visit him.
Next up - mammogram. Sounds fun doesn't it? It's not. Now that I'm officially "over 40" I must go see them yearly. They are very nice people considering the brand of torture they like to inflict. I have heard it bandied about that if men had to have their "bits" tested in this manner that we'd have a kinder, easier way of dealing with it - like an all-over body scan or something. I have a fibroid, a very large one ("that's almost a whole cup size up," the doctor quipped!) that was biopsied a few years ago - just to be sure. Talk about torture. Probably the most terrifying experience I've ever had. But now, even knowing that it's just a fibroid, the thought of going terrifies me. It's the whole "what if" thing. Yeah, like all of the sudden, out of the blue, it's going to decide to be a bitch and metamorphose (why does that word not look right?) into something it's not. It didn't. At least not this year.
Next - my yearly. Which, is definitely NOT fun. But on the plus side I was told today that I don't have to come back for two years now. This one has me scratching my head because I've always been told to go every. single. year. Even my insurance company tells me to go. In fact they send me letters reminding me to go. Hmmm, think it may have something to do with this brand, spanking-new Healthcare Bill???? (just where is that sarcasm font!) Anyway, for days before I go I begin to do an overall body check. Hmmmm, just what is that strange little bump hidden away behind my ear? (an ingrown hair) These headaches that I've been having every day at exactly 3:00 pm - that can't be good. (sinus headaches - take Benadryl and they miraculously go away) Why are my hands peeling?????? (mmmm, a blister 'cause you are a dummy and worked in the yard without wear your gardening gloves) Oh and there's this numb spot in my shoulder blade that only hurts at the end of the day (yeah. Well, you hunch over a computer for eight hours a day, come home and hunch some more. Try sitting up straight.) By the time I get there I am totally convinced that I must be dying. But it turns out I'm not. That I'm actually in pretty good shape for a woman my age, with bad habits, who is as lazy as I am. Yay me! Although she did tell me to exercise. Ugh. Gardening counts - doesn't it? Sure it does!
But the funny part? During the rest of the year if I encounter any of this - I shrug it off as nothing or recognize it for what it really is. But once those doctor visits start to loom.....all bets are off. I never had these thoughts when I was younger.
Back then, I'd breeze into the office and be shocked if they told me something might not be right (pneumonia? Are you sure? 'Cause I feel fine....). Ohh, to be young & bullet-proof again.
And this is why I've blocked myself from visiting WebMd.
*****
Okay ladies, all complaining aside. These are important annual (despite what they are now saying) visits. If you haven't been lately, make an appointment right now and go! As wives, mothers and women in general - we tend to take care of others in our lives before ourselves - but in these areas? It's more important that we take care of ourselves - so we can continue to take care of those that we love.
June 21, 2010
Apparently, as drivers, we suck.
So I read this article the other day (okay, okay! I read it about a month ago! Sheesh! What is it with you guys and details!) about a survey that ranks American driver's knowledge. Apparently, a good majority of them are morons. I can say this because I've witnessed it first hand. And now, thanks to this survey it's been proven.
This survey used questions taken from state department of motor vehicle exams. According to the survey 1 in 5 licensed drivers would fail the written exam if they took it today. 1 in 5! That is some scary statistics folks, especially since my child is now on the road and will soon be on the road without me sitting beside him - am I terrified? And add to that the fact that my state is the 14th worst state for drivers. Lovely.
According to the GMAC press release of the findings, 85% of Americans are unsure what to do about approaching a yellow light. Really??????? 85%!! Seriously folks - how can you NOT know what to do when approaching a yellow light? (Answer? Prepare to stop as that sucker is about to turn red!)
So my question is this: how the hell did these people get licensed in the first place????
So here's my solution - every five years we should be tested again. Yes, yes - I realize that going to the DMV to have your license renewed every however many years is a giant pain as it is and to add the testing on would just add to that aggravation - but think about it - these morons are out there driving among us! Among our brand new drivers - who don't have the experience to deal with the idiocy.
And in my own informal little survey I have deduced that 99% of the drivers in this state have absolutely NO idea what a turn signal is or that it is illegal to block intersections (as they try to "beat the light"). What does that tell you my friends?
That tells me that 99% of the drivers on the road today should not be there!
And if you are interested in seeing where your state ranks you can find it here.
This survey used questions taken from state department of motor vehicle exams. According to the survey 1 in 5 licensed drivers would fail the written exam if they took it today. 1 in 5! That is some scary statistics folks, especially since my child is now on the road and will soon be on the road without me sitting beside him - am I terrified? And add to that the fact that my state is the 14th worst state for drivers. Lovely.
According to the GMAC press release of the findings, 85% of Americans are unsure what to do about approaching a yellow light. Really??????? 85%!! Seriously folks - how can you NOT know what to do when approaching a yellow light? (Answer? Prepare to stop as that sucker is about to turn red!)
So my question is this: how the hell did these people get licensed in the first place????
So here's my solution - every five years we should be tested again. Yes, yes - I realize that going to the DMV to have your license renewed every however many years is a giant pain as it is and to add the testing on would just add to that aggravation - but think about it - these morons are out there driving among us! Among our brand new drivers - who don't have the experience to deal with the idiocy.
And in my own informal little survey I have deduced that 99% of the drivers in this state have absolutely NO idea what a turn signal is or that it is illegal to block intersections (as they try to "beat the light"). What does that tell you my friends?
That tells me that 99% of the drivers on the road today should not be there!
And if you are interested in seeing where your state ranks you can find it here.
June 20, 2010
Seeing as it's Father's Day, I suppose I should post something about Hubby.
When I first met Hubby, way back when, one of the things that impressed me the most (other than how hot he was....) was his ability to be a father. That more than anything was important to him.
After his divorce, his first wife moved back to Texas with their daughter. He began to fly back and forth to see his child. As you can imagine, that quickly got old (and expensive). So in the midst of a recession, he moved to Texas to be near his daughter.
The more I got to know him, the more I saw the father that he was. And quickly began to realize just what kind of man he was - one who that was "there" for those he loved, one who fought for those he loved, one who was true and kind. I realized he would be the best man for me and any children we might have together.
My husband is many things - some which I love, some which drive me crazy. But I can honestly say, that one of the things that first attracted me to him was his ability to be a father. Unfortunately, there are many man out there who do not have this ability.
Yes, his daughter and I have had our moments, and yes, he has been torn because of that. But through it all he has loved us more than anyone else could have.
I have watched him with Man-Child through the years and it brings a tear to my eye to see them together. They have a bond that is absolutely indescribable. When I observe other fathers with their sons - I am saddened that they don't seem to have the connection that these two have. They are best friends - though at times they don't seem to be.
So dear Hubby, happy Father's Day. You are a man among men, a father in every sense of the word, and I love you more than I could ever describe.
After his divorce, his first wife moved back to Texas with their daughter. He began to fly back and forth to see his child. As you can imagine, that quickly got old (and expensive). So in the midst of a recession, he moved to Texas to be near his daughter.
The more I got to know him, the more I saw the father that he was. And quickly began to realize just what kind of man he was - one who that was "there" for those he loved, one who fought for those he loved, one who was true and kind. I realized he would be the best man for me and any children we might have together.
My husband is many things - some which I love, some which drive me crazy. But I can honestly say, that one of the things that first attracted me to him was his ability to be a father. Unfortunately, there are many man out there who do not have this ability.
Yes, his daughter and I have had our moments, and yes, he has been torn because of that. But through it all he has loved us more than anyone else could have.
I have watched him with Man-Child through the years and it brings a tear to my eye to see them together. They have a bond that is absolutely indescribable. When I observe other fathers with their sons - I am saddened that they don't seem to have the connection that these two have. They are best friends - though at times they don't seem to be.
So dear Hubby, happy Father's Day. You are a man among men, a father in every sense of the word, and I love you more than I could ever describe.
Sometimes, it's just better to answer the phone.....
I've mentioned it before - I am not a "phone person." I don't sit around and chit chat on the phone - if I do, it's rare. Although, interestingly enough, I don't mind sitting at the computer and chit chatting.
So last night, I had a few hours to myself as the guys were at a wedding. What? Why wasn't I at the wedding? Well, He-Who-Never-Arranges-Our-Social-Life (aka: Hubby) received an invite to the wedding of a former co-worker's son and upon opening the envelope promptly decided - without asking me - that I probably wouldn't want to go since I'd never met these people. So He-Who-Never-Arranges-Our-Social-Life filled out the response card saying that it would just be him and Man-Child and mailed it off. Yes, I know - I too gasped in shock. What can I say, he's clueless at times.
Anyway, here I was having a lovely time perusing blogs, checking out twitter, etc. Basically, enjoying the quiet. When the phone begins to ring. Sighing, I looked at the caller id. It was a friend, but truly not wanting to break the solitude I was currently enjoying - I hit ignore. I could call her back later, I reasoned.
I then got into an online chat with a friend about how sometimes you just don't want to answer the phone or even deal with people in real life - because sometimes, just sometimes, it takes too much energy (yes, I realize I am becoming a hermit - but I'm okay with that for the moment) to deal. Of course, our conversation meandered along to other topics - but that's where we started.
Still chatting online (apparently, we are twins that were separated at birth or something), the boys come home. Not five minutes after they walk in the door who shows up? Yup, the friend that had called earlier. The one I ignored. I cut off my online conversation rather abruptly (sorry, Kath) to focus on the couple that had just walked in.
Now, as our house is always open to friends who just want to stop by this usually isn't a problem. And it really wasn't a problem last night - because we spent an enjoyable few hours together. But in my current state of hermitage I was a little put out because I had my night all planned out. A bit more computer time, a hot bath and an early bedtime (soooo exciting for a Saturday night, I know! Aren't you envious?).
Apparently, a good time was had by all as they didn't leave until almost midnight and I woke this morning to a pounding head. We also woke to the realization that we had made plans to join them for lunch today. So my quiet weekend became one that ended up being quite busy.
So the moral to this story is this: If you are seeking solitude, sometimes it's just easier to answer the phone.
So last night, I had a few hours to myself as the guys were at a wedding. What? Why wasn't I at the wedding? Well, He-Who-Never-Arranges-Our-Social-Life (aka: Hubby) received an invite to the wedding of a former co-worker's son and upon opening the envelope promptly decided - without asking me - that I probably wouldn't want to go since I'd never met these people. So He-Who-Never-Arranges-Our-Social-Life filled out the response card saying that it would just be him and Man-Child and mailed it off. Yes, I know - I too gasped in shock. What can I say, he's clueless at times.
Anyway, here I was having a lovely time perusing blogs, checking out twitter, etc. Basically, enjoying the quiet. When the phone begins to ring. Sighing, I looked at the caller id. It was a friend, but truly not wanting to break the solitude I was currently enjoying - I hit ignore. I could call her back later, I reasoned.
I then got into an online chat with a friend about how sometimes you just don't want to answer the phone or even deal with people in real life - because sometimes, just sometimes, it takes too much energy (yes, I realize I am becoming a hermit - but I'm okay with that for the moment) to deal. Of course, our conversation meandered along to other topics - but that's where we started.
Still chatting online (apparently, we are twins that were separated at birth or something), the boys come home. Not five minutes after they walk in the door who shows up? Yup, the friend that had called earlier. The one I ignored. I cut off my online conversation rather abruptly (sorry, Kath) to focus on the couple that had just walked in.
Now, as our house is always open to friends who just want to stop by this usually isn't a problem. And it really wasn't a problem last night - because we spent an enjoyable few hours together. But in my current state of hermitage I was a little put out because I had my night all planned out. A bit more computer time, a hot bath and an early bedtime (soooo exciting for a Saturday night, I know! Aren't you envious?).
Apparently, a good time was had by all as they didn't leave until almost midnight and I woke this morning to a pounding head. We also woke to the realization that we had made plans to join them for lunch today. So my quiet weekend became one that ended up being quite busy.
So the moral to this story is this: If you are seeking solitude, sometimes it's just easier to answer the phone.
June 17, 2010
I don’t know why y’all put up with me. . . and few other ramble-y bits UPDATED
I’m bossy. I know it. But I’m only bossy with those I love – honestly.
But the email thing really drives me crazy (and, honestly? It was a really bad day….). It’s just that y’all always have something witty, profound or just amazingly awesome to say and when you do, I want to respond to YOU. I don’t want to respond via comments, because really? How often do you come back to look at comments? Not often I’m betting. So I usually don’t – and then I feel bad because it starts to feel like I’m not holding up my end of the friendship.
So after venting my frustrations on you (I’m sorry) the wonderful Mrs. Lovely stepped up and reminded me that she had posted on this very same subject some time ago and told me to steal her words. That I cannot do – but if you click here – you will be taken to her post that will explain, in plain English, how to adjust your settings in just a couple of easy steps so that when you comment and I want to tell you just how fabulous you are I can click your name and respond to your comment via email without having to go through hoops to do so.
Now, although, I hope that you all will do this – I won’t demand it – yet. But in the long run, it really makes everything easier for everyone.
In other news . . . the reason I was so testy the other day is because Hubby was informed by the Unemployment Commission that his benefits would likely be denied because the ex-employer was trying to say he was fired for cause! I have always known that these people are self-serving toads, but I never expected them to tell bald-faced lies about Hubby, particularly considering all he’s done for them. To say that I was upset was an understatement! I immediately found a lawyer – in the event that this had to be escalated. Fortunately, this morning we discovered that his claim has been accepted and that benefits have been awarded retroactively and that we should be receiving them shortly.
We don’t know exactly what happened, but I am assuming that after speaking to Hubby the Unemployment Commission called them back and asked them to back up what they were saying with paperwork – which they couldn’t possibly do – since they have nothing!
While all this was going on, Hubby was informed that the position he applied for was awarded to someone else. Very disappointing – but we are trying to keep a positive attitude and figure that it will all work out for the best eventually.
In the meantime, I will leave you with this picture that I took yesterday. I love it because it shows the sunshine despite the rain. And the fact that I actually took a decent picture (on a cell phone at that!) means that I must show it off - since most of my pictures are either fuzzy, have my finger in them, or I've cut someone's head off.
*******
WC & BrightonMum - the best way to explain it is like this. When you comment, they are sent in the form of emails. If your profile isn't set up just so, when I hit reply (which I do often) and shoot off a response - it goes into outerspace somewhere and not back to you. So, basically, it's like you send me an email and I reply to your email. It includes the subject (the post), your comment and my response.
And no, I was at a stop light (a very looooong stoplight) when I took the picture.
But the email thing really drives me crazy (and, honestly? It was a really bad day….). It’s just that y’all always have something witty, profound or just amazingly awesome to say and when you do, I want to respond to YOU. I don’t want to respond via comments, because really? How often do you come back to look at comments? Not often I’m betting. So I usually don’t – and then I feel bad because it starts to feel like I’m not holding up my end of the friendship.
So after venting my frustrations on you (I’m sorry) the wonderful Mrs. Lovely stepped up and reminded me that she had posted on this very same subject some time ago and told me to steal her words. That I cannot do – but if you click here – you will be taken to her post that will explain, in plain English, how to adjust your settings in just a couple of easy steps so that when you comment and I want to tell you just how fabulous you are I can click your name and respond to your comment via email without having to go through hoops to do so.
Now, although, I hope that you all will do this – I won’t demand it – yet. But in the long run, it really makes everything easier for everyone.
In other news . . . the reason I was so testy the other day is because Hubby was informed by the Unemployment Commission that his benefits would likely be denied because the ex-employer was trying to say he was fired for cause! I have always known that these people are self-serving toads, but I never expected them to tell bald-faced lies about Hubby, particularly considering all he’s done for them. To say that I was upset was an understatement! I immediately found a lawyer – in the event that this had to be escalated. Fortunately, this morning we discovered that his claim has been accepted and that benefits have been awarded retroactively and that we should be receiving them shortly.
We don’t know exactly what happened, but I am assuming that after speaking to Hubby the Unemployment Commission called them back and asked them to back up what they were saying with paperwork – which they couldn’t possibly do – since they have nothing!
While all this was going on, Hubby was informed that the position he applied for was awarded to someone else. Very disappointing – but we are trying to keep a positive attitude and figure that it will all work out for the best eventually.
In the meantime, I will leave you with this picture that I took yesterday. I love it because it shows the sunshine despite the rain. And the fact that I actually took a decent picture (on a cell phone at that!) means that I must show it off - since most of my pictures are either fuzzy, have my finger in them, or I've cut someone's head off.
Just goes to show - there is ALWAYS a light at the end of a tunnel.
*******
WC & BrightonMum - the best way to explain it is like this. When you comment, they are sent in the form of emails. If your profile isn't set up just so, when I hit reply (which I do often) and shoot off a response - it goes into outerspace somewhere and not back to you. So, basically, it's like you send me an email and I reply to your email. It includes the subject (the post), your comment and my response.
And no, I was at a stop light (a very looooong stoplight) when I took the picture.
June 15, 2010
Seriously - could y'all work with me here????
All right y'all. I'm being honest.
Today has NOT been one of the better days in Gigi's house.
So what do I come home to today?
Too much to go into, if the truth be told. (If you happened to be on Twitter at a certain point this morning you could have witnessed my head exploding....it wasn't pretty, let me tell you - but two very dear friends (you know who you are) were there to help me calm down....)
(Breathe Gigi, BREATHE! It will be fine!)
Had I access to blogging from work (yeah, thanks Big Brother - for once said without sarcasm.) I'm sure I would have lit up Blogger like you would not have believed from the expletives that would have flown out of my mouth, to the keyboard, eventually landing in your reader, inbox, or however it is that you receive my nonsense. Which, most likely, upon reflection, would not have been a good idea.
My main complaint to you (for the moment - because once this is resolved? All bets are off. And you will hear about it IN DETAIL (as far as I can go anyway)) is this....when I came home (from my lack of blog access, boring day) I was accosted with no less than, at least, a gazillion blogs to read (and truly??? I don't follow that many! I know! I'm sorry! I try to keep up!) (Mainly because I'm lazy. Ssssh!!! That's a secret!).
And this is after getting up at 5:15 am (THAT'S IN THE MORNING! Just in case you were wondering....and we all know that I am NOT a morning person) to check on what y'all did overnight! And!! Y'all kept updating while I was reading/commenting!
Y'all are seriously not making my life any easier.
So, here are my new rules. No more blogging for you between the hours of say......8:00 am (eastern time) and 3:00 pm (eastern time). This will give me the opportunity to actually read and comment and post my own (hopefully. Unless I am seriously mis-calculating the Pacific Time, the Greenwich Mean Time and whatever other times are involved. This is a distinct possibility, knowing me.....).
And since we are setting some ground rules down - please, please, please!!!! Add an email address or a link back to your blog to your profile!!! This is not too much to ask (as maybe, upon reflection, my earlier request might be.....but really isn't since - isn't the world out there to make ME happy?). This makes it much easier for me to respond to you. Or find you and tell you how fabulous you are (or creepy - whatever the case may be.....)
Today has NOT been one of the better days in Gigi's house.
So what do I come home to today?
Too much to go into, if the truth be told. (If you happened to be on Twitter at a certain point this morning you could have witnessed my head exploding....it wasn't pretty, let me tell you - but two very dear friends (you know who you are) were there to help me calm down....)
(Breathe Gigi, BREATHE! It will be fine!)
Had I access to blogging from work (yeah, thanks Big Brother - for once said without sarcasm.) I'm sure I would have lit up Blogger like you would not have believed from the expletives that would have flown out of my mouth, to the keyboard, eventually landing in your reader, inbox, or however it is that you receive my nonsense. Which, most likely, upon reflection, would not have been a good idea.
My main complaint to you (for the moment - because once this is resolved? All bets are off. And you will hear about it IN DETAIL (as far as I can go anyway)) is this....when I came home (from my lack of blog access, boring day) I was accosted with no less than, at least, a gazillion blogs to read (and truly??? I don't follow that many! I know! I'm sorry! I try to keep up!) (Mainly because I'm lazy. Ssssh!!! That's a secret!).
And this is after getting up at 5:15 am (THAT'S IN THE MORNING! Just in case you were wondering....and we all know that I am NOT a morning person) to check on what y'all did overnight! And!! Y'all kept updating while I was reading/commenting!
Y'all are seriously not making my life any easier.
So, here are my new rules. No more blogging for you between the hours of say......8:00 am (eastern time) and 3:00 pm (eastern time). This will give me the opportunity to actually read and comment and post my own (hopefully. Unless I am seriously mis-calculating the Pacific Time, the Greenwich Mean Time and whatever other times are involved. This is a distinct possibility, knowing me.....).
And since we are setting some ground rules down - please, please, please!!!! Add an email address or a link back to your blog to your profile!!! This is not too much to ask (as maybe, upon reflection, my earlier request might be.....but really isn't since - isn't the world out there to make ME happy?). This makes it much easier for me to respond to you. Or find you and tell you how fabulous you are (or creepy - whatever the case may be.....)
June 13, 2010
A Very Quiet Sunday....
We've spent today in various pursuits....
Me:
'nuff said.....
And then there is always the rebel, Hubby:
But, I guess SOMEBODY has to do the cooking around here... (ignore the clutter.... ) (Doesn't he look INTENT?!)
*****
And in the interest of full disclosure, etc. This is more closely resembles what I was really reading.....
Me:
Reading the classics - of course.
Man-Child:
'nuff said.....
And then there is always the rebel, Hubby:
But, I guess SOMEBODY has to do the cooking around here... (ignore the clutter.... ) (Doesn't he look INTENT?!)
*****
And in the interest of full disclosure, etc. This is more closely resembles what I was really reading.....
Can't tell you yet whether or not this is worth a review.....since I haven't actually started reading it yet....
June 11, 2010
How do I know it's summer (despite what the calendar says....)
Because when I hear this song I just crank it up and sing along (loudly). Of course, if the truth be told - I do that even in the winter. LOVE this song.
Because I got to sleep a few extra minutes this morning - and spend a lot of time lounging around reading the paper, drinking coffee and checking out blogs (which, since Big Brother locked down blog access, really helps keep me in the loop - damn you Big Brother) before having to get dressed and mosey into work. Why? No trip to school! Which, as I've mentioned before takes a full hour round trip.
Because I don't have any one trying to take the computer with the excuse of "homework." Since he's had it for most of the day, he knows better than to even ask.....
Because the baby bunnies that are running rampant are getting much bigger. Sorry no picture - they refuse to pose for me - worse than children! Divas, that's what they are! Next they'll be asking for a better type of clover....
Because it's HOT. Although, now that the sun has gone down it's much cooler. Gotta love NC for that - back home, even after the sun went down it stayed HOT and HUMID - never any relief. EVER.
Because at work - it's deader than dead. Everyone is on vacation. The phones aren't ringing and the email isn't pinging. Do you know I only had ONE work-related email today? ONE?!!! Do you KNOW how long that makes the day (especially when you can't access blogs?!)? It's torture I tell you! Total torture! Especially on a beautiful Friday.....
Because I've got dueling lawn-mowers going in either ear as the neighbors battle it out for the best lawn ever! I'm hoping they'll get sick of ours and come over and work on it.....they really need to do something about all these weeds.....
Because shorts and sandals (and more all kinds of unfortunate outfit choices) are on display.
Because Blogging-On-The-Back-Porch is back!
Sweet Summertime.
Because I got to sleep a few extra minutes this morning - and spend a lot of time lounging around reading the paper, drinking coffee and checking out blogs (which, since Big Brother locked down blog access, really helps keep me in the loop - damn you Big Brother) before having to get dressed and mosey into work. Why? No trip to school! Which, as I've mentioned before takes a full hour round trip.
Because I don't have any one trying to take the computer with the excuse of "homework." Since he's had it for most of the day, he knows better than to even ask.....
Because the baby bunnies that are running rampant are getting much bigger. Sorry no picture - they refuse to pose for me - worse than children! Divas, that's what they are! Next they'll be asking for a better type of clover....
Because it's HOT. Although, now that the sun has gone down it's much cooler. Gotta love NC for that - back home, even after the sun went down it stayed HOT and HUMID - never any relief. EVER.
Because at work - it's deader than dead. Everyone is on vacation. The phones aren't ringing and the email isn't pinging. Do you know I only had ONE work-related email today? ONE?!!! Do you KNOW how long that makes the day (especially when you can't access blogs?!)? It's torture I tell you! Total torture! Especially on a beautiful Friday.....
Because I've got dueling lawn-mowers going in either ear as the neighbors battle it out for the best lawn ever! I'm hoping they'll get sick of ours and come over and work on it.....they really need to do something about all these weeds.....
Because shorts and sandals (and more all kinds of unfortunate outfit choices) are on display.
Because Blogging-On-The-Back-Porch is back!
Sweet Summertime.
June 10, 2010
The trials and tribulations of shaving while blind....
Yes, it's true. I'm as blind as the proverbial bat. So blind that I can't see the alarm clock without my glasses. So blind, that when my eye doctor asked me if I had a back up pair of glasses, I laughed. Why? Because I couldn't comprehend that question. If I don't have a back up pair to the contacts, I literally can't get out of bed.
I remember getting contacts many, many years ago - although I can't seem to remember anything else lately - clear as day. (Get it?! Ha. I slay myself.....) Talk about freeing. Yeah, NOW they have stylish glasses - but back when I was a kid? Not so much. But the ability to wear sunglasses! The not having to push the glasses back up the nose - which was a waste of time in the Texas heat because they'd just slide right back down the sweaty nose. No more taking them off several times a day to polish (do you KNOW how fast those lenses get dirty?) AND - I now had peripheral vision! Yes, I knew other people had it, but I had never experienced it. It was wonderful.
What does any of this have to do with shaving? Well, let me explain.
You take the contacts off. You jump in the shower. You begin to attempt to shave. You can see your armpits fairly clearly because they are practically right under your nose. You begin to shave your legs. Can't see a damn thing. This means your armpits are nice and clean-shaven, your legs? Not so much.
So next time around you leave the contacts in. The view of the legs is nice and clear. The view of the armpits? Not so clear. Ahh, the joys of being near-sighted.
And Hubby wonders why I take so many baths. Easy. Glasses on for legs; glasses off for pits. And there is the added bonus of locking the door, cranking up the iPod which then drowns out any requests being shouted from the other side of the door.
The inspiration for this very random post? Yup. Just took a shower without contacts. Guess that means I won't be wearing a skirt tomorrow.....
I remember getting contacts many, many years ago - although I can't seem to remember anything else lately - clear as day. (Get it?! Ha. I slay myself.....) Talk about freeing. Yeah, NOW they have stylish glasses - but back when I was a kid? Not so much. But the ability to wear sunglasses! The not having to push the glasses back up the nose - which was a waste of time in the Texas heat because they'd just slide right back down the sweaty nose. No more taking them off several times a day to polish (do you KNOW how fast those lenses get dirty?) AND - I now had peripheral vision! Yes, I knew other people had it, but I had never experienced it. It was wonderful.
What does any of this have to do with shaving? Well, let me explain.
You take the contacts off. You jump in the shower. You begin to attempt to shave. You can see your armpits fairly clearly because they are practically right under your nose. You begin to shave your legs. Can't see a damn thing. This means your armpits are nice and clean-shaven, your legs? Not so much.
So next time around you leave the contacts in. The view of the legs is nice and clear. The view of the armpits? Not so clear. Ahh, the joys of being near-sighted.
And Hubby wonders why I take so many baths. Easy. Glasses on for legs; glasses off for pits. And there is the added bonus of locking the door, cranking up the iPod which then drowns out any requests being shouted from the other side of the door.
The inspiration for this very random post? Yup. Just took a shower without contacts. Guess that means I won't be wearing a skirt tomorrow.....
June 8, 2010
Is it just me??
Or does this happen to you too?
You are happily perusing blogs (at the moment without any harassment - which you know is short-lived) when all of a sudden a "warning" pops up telling you that you've got 6 trojan viruses, a million worms and that your computer is about TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
Of course, this totally freaks me out. Because this computer can't die! We are still bonding!! (although we are getting closer every day. I know I love it and I think it is beginning to love me back....at least until it pulls something like this....then I'm convinced it hates me and is trying to drive me mad.....)
So you click on the button that tells you it will save your whole world - if only you click on it.
Whereupon you are then transported to another site that tells you that "Yes, in fact your computer is DYING as we speak! BUT!! We can fix it if you just pay $50.00/yearly (oh and by the way, it's an automatic withdrawal from you account that you will promptly forget about and freak out about when it shows up next year) and download our super-fantastic application."
How these things even keep popping up, I'll never know. But I'm wise to them. Oh yes, I am. Because it happened again today. I immediately closed the window and ran my security software - which tells me, surprise, surprise . . . that there is nothing wrong with my computer.
Now if I could just get the guys to quit freaking out and hitting the button(s) whenever it happens to them........
You are happily perusing blogs (at the moment without any harassment - which you know is short-lived) when all of a sudden a "warning" pops up telling you that you've got 6 trojan viruses, a million worms and that your computer is about TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
Of course, this totally freaks me out. Because this computer can't die! We are still bonding!! (although we are getting closer every day. I know I love it and I think it is beginning to love me back....at least until it pulls something like this....then I'm convinced it hates me and is trying to drive me mad.....)
So you click on the button that tells you it will save your whole world - if only you click on it.
Whereupon you are then transported to another site that tells you that "Yes, in fact your computer is DYING as we speak! BUT!! We can fix it if you just pay $50.00/yearly (oh and by the way, it's an automatic withdrawal from you account that you will promptly forget about and freak out about when it shows up next year) and download our super-fantastic application."
How these things even keep popping up, I'll never know. But I'm wise to them. Oh yes, I am. Because it happened again today. I immediately closed the window and ran my security software - which tells me, surprise, surprise . . . that there is nothing wrong with my computer.
Now if I could just get the guys to quit freaking out and hitting the button(s) whenever it happens to them........
June 7, 2010
Hubby's Interview.....
So Hubby had his interview today.
To say he was nervous is a total understatement. I mean really? It's been 10 years since he's had to interview. And interviewing is nerve-wracking anyway, much less without recent practice.
To say I was nervous is more than a total understatement. I was sick to my stomach, worried, antsy, and totally crazed. Suffice it to say, it's a good thing that my brain wasn't actually required at work today - because today it was total mush. I think I spent far more time on Twitter spilling my guts than actually working....ssshhhh; don't tell anyone! I think I covered it well.....
Turns out this position would be perfect for him. The company would be perfect for all of us. Whether or not they will hire him - totally up in the air. Two-three weeks before they make a decision.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH! I can't stand it!
I knew going in that there would be some wait time (there always is) but still - I know he's wonderful and outstanding and the perfect man for the job - so I had hoped against hope that he'd be offered the position on the spot. No such luck.
But, on the plus side, Hubby came out of it very positive. It went very well, in his opinion, and has given him confidence (which he has desperately needed of late!).
Also, he has the strong recommendation of a very influential vendor to back him.....so fingers crossed and all that.
Here's hoping we hear something (positive) soon!
To say he was nervous is a total understatement. I mean really? It's been 10 years since he's had to interview. And interviewing is nerve-wracking anyway, much less without recent practice.
To say I was nervous is more than a total understatement. I was sick to my stomach, worried, antsy, and totally crazed. Suffice it to say, it's a good thing that my brain wasn't actually required at work today - because today it was total mush. I think I spent far more time on Twitter spilling my guts than actually working....ssshhhh; don't tell anyone! I think I covered it well.....
Turns out this position would be perfect for him. The company would be perfect for all of us. Whether or not they will hire him - totally up in the air. Two-three weeks before they make a decision.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH! I can't stand it!
I knew going in that there would be some wait time (there always is) but still - I know he's wonderful and outstanding and the perfect man for the job - so I had hoped against hope that he'd be offered the position on the spot. No such luck.
But, on the plus side, Hubby came out of it very positive. It went very well, in his opinion, and has given him confidence (which he has desperately needed of late!).
Also, he has the strong recommendation of a very influential vendor to back him.....so fingers crossed and all that.
Here's hoping we hear something (positive) soon!
Five Years (and although I thought I'd been "cured" apparently not; as once again I forgot to title it.....*sigh*)
I would like to thank WildernessChic for passing this on to me - a thought provoking tag.
Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." So I did some examining and now provide the following:
Where Were You Five Years Ago?
This was a really tough one to answer because, as you all know, my brain is like a colander - full of holes! So I really had to think about this and employ some creative math to figure out where I was five years ago!
Five years ago, Man-Child was a mere babe at the age of 11. He was coming to the end of his fifth grade year - and the upcoming school year was more nerve-racking for us than most rising sixth graders. He was moving up to middle school; but not with his friends. He'd be moving to a new school. He was anxious, I was anxious, Hubby acted oblivious. But it turned out to be the best decision we could have made - thank God!
Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." So I did some examining and now provide the following:
Where Were You Five Years Ago?
This was a really tough one to answer because, as you all know, my brain is like a colander - full of holes! So I really had to think about this and employ some creative math to figure out where I was five years ago!
Five years ago, Man-Child was a mere babe at the age of 11. He was coming to the end of his fifth grade year - and the upcoming school year was more nerve-racking for us than most rising sixth graders. He was moving up to middle school; but not with his friends. He'd be moving to a new school. He was anxious, I was anxious, Hubby acted oblivious. But it turned out to be the best decision we could have made - thank God!
Then.....
he was just a baby!
Now.....
Sorry for the quality....but in order to get a picture of him these days, I have to be like a stealth ninja!
If my recollection is correct (cause I'm really, really iffy here....) I believe I had just moved into the department I'm currently in - moving from what, at least for me, was a very, very toxic environment. So I was very excited and happy with the move.
Where Would You Like To Be Five Years From Now?
Usually, I'm a "take each day as it comes" kind of gal, so I had to reflect on this one a bit. It goes without saying that I hope to be alive, healthy and happy. Man-Child should be finishing up his Junior year in college (it boggles the mind to think that! I mean seriously, look how much he's changed in just the past five years!) I imagine at that point Hubby and I will have settled into some kind of semi-empty nest routine - and hopefully, we will still like each other.....
What Five Snacks Do You Enjoy?
Truthfully, I'm not much of a snacker. Occasionally, I enjoy popcorn in the evenings but other than that....not one for snacks. Sometimes at work, you may find me reaching for a piece of chocolate from the dish on my desk...but that's usually out of boredom. Hmmmm? Does wine count?
What Would You Do If You Were A Billionaire?
This was, by far, the most difficult question. I pondered and pondered. I have come to the conclusion that I should NEVER be a billionaire because apparently I lack the imagination to figure out how to spend that much money!
My first thought was to take care of Man-Child's education, that goes without saying. My second was to travel. I would go everywhere (making a point, of course, to meet all my blog friends along the way!). Obviously, I would take care of those near and dear to me. I would also most likely set up scholarships for needy children and be very generous to those charities that touch my heart & that do the most good.
Without further ado, I pass the tag along to:
and, of course, anyone else who would like to join in......
*****
And for the record? This post has been pure hell to post - apparently Blogger doesn't like Mozilla. Just so ya know.
June 4, 2010
Lucky, lucky you! (and hopefully, us?)
Three (count 'em - THREE!) posts from me in one day. In less than three hours (hmmmm....what cosmic force is at work here?).
How does she pull it off? Everyone asks in total wonder.
Pffft. I'm talented. (which is code for, it was a really, really slow day at work which meant I had plenty of time for "composing" and uploading to Skydrive to download when I got home).
Anyway, I wasn't planning this post. It's totally spontaneous...... (should I even be telling y'all my trade secrets here???)
It all began long, long ago (this morning). I was drinking my coffee, reading the paper and getting really, really incensed over this oil spill and local politics (seriously? Somebody put me in charge. All this nonsense would END NOW! Don't ask me how - but it would by the sheer force of my will.) when I finally reached my favorite portion of the paper. The Life section.
This section is my "reward" for slogging through the rest of the paper. It also helps me to forget all of which I just read that has ticked me off to no end.
While I was happily perusing the Life section I came across the horoscopes. I read mine. No great surprises there. I read hubby's. And came to a standstill. Remember when I talked about how the Universe is trying to tell you something? And how, sometimes, I just don't listen even while the Universe is bashing me about the head?
Well today? I listened.
Here is Hubby's horoscope:
"The lemon someone handed you turned out to make the sweetest lemonade you've ever tasted. You couldn't have experienced the good thing unless someone did the bad thing first."
You all know that Hubby's been laid off. You all know that I've been nutso worried (which is sooooo against my nature!). You also know that we've been trying to look at this as a "one door closes and another opens" kind of situation. So this horoscope? Very uplifting. Just what I needed.
Not that I believe in horoscopes (completely.....)
I went along my merry (well, if the truth be told - not so merrily because, HELLO! I'm on my way to WORK!) way to work (where instead of actually working, I was busy composing posts for YOU! You're welcome!).
Upon returning home (with a sinus headache that WOULD. NOT. QUIT!) I was greeted with this delicious news.....
Hubby has an interview with a very fabulous company on Monday!
Doing a major happy dance over here.
Of course, there are many "if's" and involved. As in the major one - "What IF he doesn't get it?" or "What IF he does, and the pay isn't what it needs to be?" or "What IF he gets it, it's perfect and life is grand and then the world suddenly ends!" (Why yes. I do have a flair for drama....)
I'm trying not to think of those IF's. I'm trying to think of the positive IF's. Like, "IF he is hired, the price will be better than perfect and he will have his holidays off and he won't be on call 24/7 like before and the stress-level will be nil."
The real positive here - no matter what happens - is that this company (a highly sought after company) looked at him. That in itself has to be a real confidence booster.
From what I understand about this company - who is new to the area - they could be the rival (job seeker-wise-totally different industry) to my company, which has been a top employer in this area for a long, long time. (seriously, people are constantly asking me how I got a job here (uhh? Cause I'm so awesome? - who did I know - can I get them a job here, etc And no, even if the perfect job were available they wouldn't hire him - something about "policy.")
So here is where I shamelessly beg for your help. Send all your cosmic good thoughts, prayers, well wishes, voodoo, whatever, our way. I promise to repay in kind someday.
I'm good for it. Ask anyone.
How does she pull it off? Everyone asks in total wonder.
Pffft. I'm talented. (which is code for, it was a really, really slow day at work which meant I had plenty of time for "composing" and uploading to Skydrive to download when I got home).
Anyway, I wasn't planning this post. It's totally spontaneous...... (should I even be telling y'all my trade secrets here???)
It all began long, long ago (this morning). I was drinking my coffee, reading the paper and getting really, really incensed over this oil spill and local politics (seriously? Somebody put me in charge. All this nonsense would END NOW! Don't ask me how - but it would by the sheer force of my will.) when I finally reached my favorite portion of the paper. The Life section.
This section is my "reward" for slogging through the rest of the paper. It also helps me to forget all of which I just read that has ticked me off to no end.
While I was happily perusing the Life section I came across the horoscopes. I read mine. No great surprises there. I read hubby's. And came to a standstill. Remember when I talked about how the Universe is trying to tell you something? And how, sometimes, I just don't listen even while the Universe is bashing me about the head?
Well today? I listened.
Here is Hubby's horoscope:
"The lemon someone handed you turned out to make the sweetest lemonade you've ever tasted. You couldn't have experienced the good thing unless someone did the bad thing first."
You all know that Hubby's been laid off. You all know that I've been nutso worried (which is sooooo against my nature!). You also know that we've been trying to look at this as a "one door closes and another opens" kind of situation. So this horoscope? Very uplifting. Just what I needed.
Not that I believe in horoscopes (completely.....)
I went along my merry (well, if the truth be told - not so merrily because, HELLO! I'm on my way to WORK!) way to work (where instead of actually working, I was busy composing posts for YOU! You're welcome!).
Upon returning home (with a sinus headache that WOULD. NOT. QUIT!) I was greeted with this delicious news.....
Hubby has an interview with a very fabulous company on Monday!
Doing a major happy dance over here.
Of course, there are many "if's" and involved. As in the major one - "What IF he doesn't get it?" or "What IF he does, and the pay isn't what it needs to be?" or "What IF he gets it, it's perfect and life is grand and then the world suddenly ends!" (Why yes. I do have a flair for drama....)
I'm trying not to think of those IF's. I'm trying to think of the positive IF's. Like, "IF he is hired, the price will be better than perfect and he will have his holidays off and he won't be on call 24/7 like before and the stress-level will be nil."
The real positive here - no matter what happens - is that this company (a highly sought after company) looked at him. That in itself has to be a real confidence booster.
From what I understand about this company - who is new to the area - they could be the rival (job seeker-wise-totally different industry) to my company, which has been a top employer in this area for a long, long time. (seriously, people are constantly asking me how I got a job here (uhh? Cause I'm so awesome? - who did I know - can I get them a job here, etc And no, even if the perfect job were available they wouldn't hire him - something about "policy.")
So here is where I shamelessly beg for your help. Send all your cosmic good thoughts, prayers, well wishes, voodoo, whatever, our way. I promise to repay in kind someday.
I'm good for it. Ask anyone.
You've Been Warned....
If you happened to be on Twitter last night, then you are aware that I was completely computer-less as Man-Child had a huge English project to complete in lieu of his end of year exam.
So what happens when mom is computer-less? Well, apparently, she turns to Twitter - for a little while at least. Until everyone packs it up and goes to bed (which as most of my Twitter-buds are across the pond means its pretty early by my clock). And then she reads. And reads. And reads.
Last night I started (and finished) James Patterson’s “You’ve Been Warned.” Turns out I’d already read this book recently (what can I say, I'm lucky if I can remember what I wore to work yesterday, much less what I've read a month or so ago.....) but couldn’t remember the ending. Which is why I was able to read this book in a matter of hours – since the majority of the book was lurking somewhere in my subconscious I didn’t have to absorb as much. If that makes sense.
Another thing I didn't remember? How much I enjoyed this book.
This book was a little different from most of James Patterson’s stuff – I think because it was co-authored with Howard Roughan. But by and large it was a great (re)read.
It’s about a young photographer struggling to make ends meet. She works as a nanny for a very wealthy family while waiting to be “discovered.” Then, the weird things start happening. A recurring nightmare causes her to wake to her own screams every morning. She is “warned” by strange people she doesn’t know yet somehow they know her name. She hears music that no one else can hear. Film she develops has some “issues.” She begins to see things that aren’t really there. She thinks she might be going insane.
The conclusion was . . . different. Good, but different.
As with all of James Patterson’s books, I’d recommend this one – it will keep you guessing. Go read it - and we'll discuss.
And just so ya' know - one of these days I'll get around to adding a tab up there with all my recommended reads. One day......
So what happens when mom is computer-less? Well, apparently, she turns to Twitter - for a little while at least. Until everyone packs it up and goes to bed (which as most of my Twitter-buds are across the pond means its pretty early by my clock). And then she reads. And reads. And reads.
Last night I started (and finished) James Patterson’s “You’ve Been Warned.” Turns out I’d already read this book recently (what can I say, I'm lucky if I can remember what I wore to work yesterday, much less what I've read a month or so ago.....) but couldn’t remember the ending. Which is why I was able to read this book in a matter of hours – since the majority of the book was lurking somewhere in my subconscious I didn’t have to absorb as much. If that makes sense.
Another thing I didn't remember? How much I enjoyed this book.
This book was a little different from most of James Patterson’s stuff – I think because it was co-authored with Howard Roughan. But by and large it was a great (re)read.
It’s about a young photographer struggling to make ends meet. She works as a nanny for a very wealthy family while waiting to be “discovered.” Then, the weird things start happening. A recurring nightmare causes her to wake to her own screams every morning. She is “warned” by strange people she doesn’t know yet somehow they know her name. She hears music that no one else can hear. Film she develops has some “issues.” She begins to see things that aren’t really there. She thinks she might be going insane.
The conclusion was . . . different. Good, but different.
As with all of James Patterson’s books, I’d recommend this one – it will keep you guessing. Go read it - and we'll discuss.
And just so ya' know - one of these days I'll get around to adding a tab up there with all my recommended reads. One day......
You can thank BrightonMum for this post.
She issued a challenge. She wants pictures of toilet paper. Or as she puts it – the loo roll.
Apparently, this challenge is the result of an exchange of comments at another blog.
And since I certainly don’t want to let her down, without further ado:
As you can see, we stockpile toilet paper around here (hmmm, actually the supplies seem to be getting a little low – wait a sec while I add it to the list…..). What can I say? I prefer to have loads of tp on hand – along with paper towels – apparently I am a paper product junkie.
What? You find this abnormal? Hmmm, then you get stuck without any tp readily available and see how quickly you change your mind and decide that I am, in fact, quite sane and normal. I say this from experience. No - I won't go into details. Let's just say I'm traumatized and leave it at that.
As you can see, we are also an Over not Under kind of household. Why? Because it is the correct way – nay, the only way tp should be placed in the dispenser. What? You don’t believe me? Then just google it and you will see that I am 100% correct and there is no point in arguing with me. Even Wikipedia says so. There is even a FaceBook page titled Toilet Paper Should Go Over NOT Under – which currently has 1,606 fans.
Of course, the fact the tp has even made it’s way onto the dispenser in the above picture is kind of a minor miracle. Usually, in this house it looks like this:
Which sort of makes the whole Over vs Under point moot.
If you want to join in the fun (or just check out pictures of “loo rolls”) head on over to BrightonMum’s place.
Apparently, this challenge is the result of an exchange of comments at another blog.
And since I certainly don’t want to let her down, without further ado:
As you can see, we stockpile toilet paper around here (hmmm, actually the supplies seem to be getting a little low – wait a sec while I add it to the list…..). What can I say? I prefer to have loads of tp on hand – along with paper towels – apparently I am a paper product junkie.
What? You find this abnormal? Hmmm, then you get stuck without any tp readily available and see how quickly you change your mind and decide that I am, in fact, quite sane and normal. I say this from experience. No - I won't go into details. Let's just say I'm traumatized and leave it at that.
As you can see, we are also an Over not Under kind of household. Why? Because it is the correct way – nay, the only way tp should be placed in the dispenser. What? You don’t believe me? Then just google it and you will see that I am 100% correct and there is no point in arguing with me. Even Wikipedia says so. There is even a FaceBook page titled Toilet Paper Should Go Over NOT Under – which currently has 1,606 fans.
Of course, the fact the tp has even made it’s way onto the dispenser in the above picture is kind of a minor miracle. Usually, in this house it looks like this:
Which sort of makes the whole Over vs Under point moot.
If you want to join in the fun (or just check out pictures of “loo rolls”) head on over to BrightonMum’s place.
June 1, 2010
Ten Tips for Dyeing Your Hair....Yourself.
Inspiration always seems to occur at the most random times doesn't it? Can you guess what I did tonight?
Step One:
Plan to spend at least an hour at the drugstore trying to select your "shade." This is because, somehow, you will completely forget what color your hair really is and will spend the majority of your time trying to figure it out so that you can determine what color to buy (should you go with the light brown? The light ash brown? The light golden brown? Oh wait! You aren't a light brown at all! Move on to the medium browns.....but wait! Are you really a medium brown???). Unless you are going in a whole new color-direction -- then you will be in and out of the drugstore in no time; until you follow through to Step Ten, then you will be back - with a whole 'nother set of problems....
Step Two:
Put down the glass of wine. I'm serious! It's never a good idea to color and drink at the same time....I know from experience. Trust me.
Step Three:
Turn the directions over so that you are reading them in your native tongue (for some strange reason, when you unfold the directions, at least here, they aren't in English. Which can cause some confusion if you've ignored Step Two.).
Step Four:
Ignore the warning labels that tell you of all the dire consequences that could happen if you don't follow them - 'cause really? Please! How bad could it be?
Step Five:
Do follow the instructions to wear the gloves....trust me.
Step Six:
Proceed to follow the directions in your native tongue. But be careful! Especially if you've ignored Step Two. Because guess what? Hair color will not only color your hair. It will also (sometimes permanently) color your tiles, your cabinets and pretty much anything else it comes in contact with - you've been warned.
Step Seven:
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, engage in Twitter dialogue while waiting the 25 minutes it takes for the stuff to marinate on your head. Why? Because although it will take your mind of all the itch-iness going on on your scalp, all of a sudden, you will look at the clock and say, "Oh Crap!"
Step Eight:
Race up the stairs to wash the goo out of your hair....taking care not to fall down said stairs and break your neck and/or trip and have the head full of goo slam into the wall - thus dying the wall whatever lovely shade it is that you have selected.
Step Nine:
Do not use the "good" towels to dry your hair after rinsing. Just don't. Again, trust me.
Step Ten:
Look into the mirror and tell yourself "You know....although it's a mite bit darker than I'd envisioned....at least maybe this time it won't be so brassy....."
Then proceed to scratch your head furiously wondering if maybe you shouldn't have ignored all those warnings that I told you to ignore in Step Four......
Step One:
Plan to spend at least an hour at the drugstore trying to select your "shade." This is because, somehow, you will completely forget what color your hair really is and will spend the majority of your time trying to figure it out so that you can determine what color to buy (should you go with the light brown? The light ash brown? The light golden brown? Oh wait! You aren't a light brown at all! Move on to the medium browns.....but wait! Are you really a medium brown???). Unless you are going in a whole new color-direction -- then you will be in and out of the drugstore in no time; until you follow through to Step Ten, then you will be back - with a whole 'nother set of problems....
Step Two:
Put down the glass of wine. I'm serious! It's never a good idea to color and drink at the same time....I know from experience. Trust me.
Step Three:
Turn the directions over so that you are reading them in your native tongue (for some strange reason, when you unfold the directions, at least here, they aren't in English. Which can cause some confusion if you've ignored Step Two.).
Step Four:
Ignore the warning labels that tell you of all the dire consequences that could happen if you don't follow them - 'cause really? Please! How bad could it be?
Step Five:
Do follow the instructions to wear the gloves....trust me.
Step Six:
Proceed to follow the directions in your native tongue. But be careful! Especially if you've ignored Step Two. Because guess what? Hair color will not only color your hair. It will also (sometimes permanently) color your tiles, your cabinets and pretty much anything else it comes in contact with - you've been warned.
Step Seven:
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, engage in Twitter dialogue while waiting the 25 minutes it takes for the stuff to marinate on your head. Why? Because although it will take your mind of all the itch-iness going on on your scalp, all of a sudden, you will look at the clock and say, "Oh Crap!"
Step Eight:
Race up the stairs to wash the goo out of your hair....taking care not to fall down said stairs and break your neck and/or trip and have the head full of goo slam into the wall - thus dying the wall whatever lovely shade it is that you have selected.
Step Nine:
Do not use the "good" towels to dry your hair after rinsing. Just don't. Again, trust me.
Step Ten:
Look into the mirror and tell yourself "You know....although it's a mite bit darker than I'd envisioned....at least maybe this time it won't be so brassy....."
Then proceed to scratch your head furiously wondering if maybe you shouldn't have ignored all those warnings that I told you to ignore in Step Four......
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