Ten Tips for Dyeing Your Hair....Yourself.

Inspiration always seems to occur at the most random times doesn't it?  Can you guess what I did tonight?

Step One:
Plan to spend at least an hour at the drugstore trying to select your "shade."  This is because, somehow, you will completely forget what color your hair really is and will spend the majority of your time trying to figure it out so that you can determine what color to buy (should you go with the light brown?  The light ash brown? The light golden brown?  Oh wait!  You aren't a light brown at all!  Move on to the medium browns.....but wait!  Are you really a medium brown???).  Unless you are going in a whole new color-direction -- then you will be in and out of the drugstore in no time; until you follow through to Step Ten, then you will be back - with a whole 'nother set of problems....

Step Two:
Put down the glass of wine.  I'm serious!  It's never a good idea to color and drink at the same time....I know from experience.  Trust me.

Step Three:

Turn the directions over so that you are reading them in your native tongue (for some strange reason, when you unfold the directions, at least here, they aren't in English. Which can cause some confusion if you've ignored Step Two.).


Step Four:
Ignore the warning labels that tell you of all the dire consequences that could happen if you don't follow them - 'cause really?  Please!  How bad could it be?

Step Five:
Do follow the instructions to wear the gloves....trust me.

Step Six:
Proceed to follow the directions in your native tongue.  But be careful!  Especially if you've ignored Step Two.  Because guess what?  Hair color will not only color your hair.  It will also (sometimes permanently) color your tiles, your cabinets and pretty much anything else it comes in contact with - you've been warned.

Step Seven:
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, engage in Twitter dialogue while waiting the 25 minutes it takes for the stuff to marinate on your head.  Why?  Because although it will take your mind of all the itch-iness going on on your scalp, all of a sudden, you will look at the clock and say, "Oh Crap!"

Step Eight:
Race up the stairs to wash the goo out of your hair....taking care not to fall down said stairs and break your neck and/or trip and have the head full of goo slam into the wall - thus dying the wall whatever lovely shade it is that you have selected.

Step Nine:
Do not use the "good" towels to dry your hair after rinsing.  Just don't.  Again, trust me.

Step Ten:
Look into the mirror and tell yourself "You know....although it's a mite bit darker than I'd envisioned....at least maybe this time it won't be so brassy....."

Then proceed to scratch your head furiously wondering if maybe you shouldn't have ignored all those warnings that I told you to ignore in Step Four......