Have I told you that my birthday is quickly approaching? No? Well, it is - but keep it under your hat; it's kind of a secret.
In fact, it has just been brought to my attention that it is next week. (eek! How did it sneak up on me so quickly?)
In honor of the occasion, I have decided to take next week off from work. What????? You don’t celebrate for an entire week? Well, then you should.
Actually, I’d prefer to celebrate the entire month of July, and I will – but at work they kind of frown upon you taking that much time off at once. Personally, I think we should just automatically get a day off for your birthday. Alas, it is not meant to be. Apparently, Management is comprised of a passle of soul-less, heartless, joyless drones who don’t celebrate their birthdays, don’t like kittens or small children. Jerks.
As usual, I digress…back to the point of this post….which was…..
Dammit, I’ve forgotten......
Oh! Now I remember....
Man-Child has asked what I wanted to do for my big day. When I responded with “Nothing.” you’d have thought his eyes were going to fall out of his head. When he asked if we should have a party with all of our friends, I declined. He just stared at me agape. He doesn’t understand. Of course, he’s also a social animal (like his father) and is always looking for a reason to have people over.
I really don’t want to “do” anything. Yes, I realize I’ve admitted that I’m turning into a hermit before, but truly this has nothing to do with my recent bout of hermitage.
I just don’t like to be the center of attention. (Quit laughing! It’s true).
I would rather celebrate with just my guys. Maybe go to dinner. Be treated like a princess by them for the whole month of July - because really? That is NOT an unreasonable expectation. Maybe schedule a quiet lunch with a friend or two. But all the hoopla? Nah, I don’t need it. It embarrasses me and makes me uncomfortable.
So how am I planning on spending my week off? Probably not doing much. Trying to sleep in – which is something I seem to have lost the ability to do. So, although I can’t seem to sleep in anymore I’ll just relish being able to wake up without the obnoxious alarm clock. Maybe it will be cool enough to get some yard work done. I have a gift certificate for a massage and mani/pedi that I hope to cash in. Maybe a bit of shopping. Have planned a day trip to Carowinds with Man-Child; which should be a lot of fun - although neither of us does roller coasters, usually (because despite our big talk - we are both big chickens). Which leads me to another point.
Man-Child (who must be coaxed into riding the rides at amusement parks) has been driving me nuts about wanting to go zip-lining lately. I just don't get it. This is the kid who, as a baby, hated heights so much that we never got any use out of his changing table, wants to go zipping through the trees? This is the kid who I've had to bribe to ride certain rides? This is the kid who has yet been persuaded to get onto the highway when he's driving? (Although, to be fair, I don't blame him for this, particularly after discovering that our drivers are the 14th worst ones in the United States which kinda surprised me as I figured with all the morons on the road we'd be in the top 5!)
Clearly, he's been playing me for a fool for lo, these many years.
The thought of zip-lining seems cool to me. Until I start to really think about it. And, add in the fact that I'm a total klutz (seriously? Almost missed the chair I was trying to sit on today - much to the hilarity of one of my co-workers. Which was kind of funny in it's own way, as she was on the phone and trying desperately to stay "professional" instead of howling in laughter. It was a sight, I tell you.) then the whole thought of actually participating makes me break out in a cold sweat. Because I can sooooooo see me slamming smack-dab into a tree ala George of the Jungle.
So any way....back to my birthday. Although I do hate to be the center of attention (quit laughing already!), I do like presents. Lots of them. The more the better. Just please don't ask me to open them in front of people (you know, that whole center of attention thing). So if you want to mail me stuff - please do!
Just know this - the entire month of July (especially next week) - it's all gonna be about me!